My brother had some work being done on his house when he caught one of the Apprentice on motion cam peeing on his passionfruit vine. The fun part is my brother's response to the bossman:

Hi team,

Thanks for sending the invoice through. Before I settle it, I thought I’d attach a short clip from my security camera featuring your apprentice… watering my grape vine.

And don’t worry — nothing graphic is visible. The camera must not have been able to capture anything that small at that distance.

While I appreciate his dedication to plant care, I should mention that I already have an irrigation system installed, so the bonus free-range fertiliser application wasn’t really necessary. A simple, “Hey mate, where’s the toilet?” would’ve been a much more traditional approach.

Honestly, I’m just relieved he didn’t feel the urge to go number 2 and really personalise the garden.

Look, I’m not angry. I’m just surprised that toilet training the apprentice is apparently included in the call-out rate. If this is a new service offering, feel free to let me know so I can plan my horticulture accordingly.

Anyway, enjoy the clip — it really adds a whole new meaning to streamlined service.

Cheers, (Brother)

My brother sure has a way with words! 🤣