The story’s too long for me to get into all the details, but I’ve been with a guy for over a year.

He moved to my city from another country and we started dating a handful of months after he established himself here.

He was having visa problems near the end of our relationship bc he got fired from a job he had here, and after getting rejected 3-4 different times for his visa, he was forced to leave & go back to his country.

Instead of leaving the county immediately a series of unfortunate events happened and he had to drive to Canada instead to cross the border so he wouldn’t overstay his visit here. I flew to him so he wouldn’t be going through a hard time alone, and it was a really beautiful visit tbh.

We cut contact for a few months and it was really difficult for me because I love him, but then randomly 3 months later, he called me saying he’s trying to get back into the us again. He flew back to Canada to pick up the car he left wanting to drive it back. He had 5 suitcases of luggage with him too and was prepared to move back in. But when he got to the border they rejected him because he overstayed his visit from last time…

This obviously killed me bc it felt like we were so close to being with each other again. I flew out there again because he was stuck with no place to go, so we went camping together for over a week while he figured his current events out.

I didn’t think I was ever going to see him again, so the trip was really beautiful again.

After figuring out his life and buying a ticket back to his country, I told him I’d drive the car back to the US so it’d be one less thing he had to worry about.

Basically 10 hours into my drive I got into a really bad car accident with a drunk driver & totaled the car (the drunk driver never hit me but swerved into my lane head on & we would’ve collided if I didn’t turn out of the way fast).

I’ll leave the details of that out bc it’s low key traumatic, but the point is I told him I’d pay him back for the car overtime bc I felt horrible & I know he needed the money too.

Since the car accident back in August we’ve been in regular contact which is painful for me but manageable because I love him. A few weeks ago we finally planned a trip together, and spent a week and a half together. But when I got back from the trip a friend of mine did research on him and found out he has a wife…

A name I’d only seen pop up on his phone a few times… who I thought was a family member with the same last name… is actually his wife. I don’t know what to do.

I owe him money and I don’t want him to sue me for the car accident if I do tell his wife, but I also can’t be in contact with him anymore bc I’m so in pain rn. I love him so much, and I’m still processing how he lied to me our entire relationship, as well as making me pay him while he probably spends the money on her. I can’t breathe thinking about it. I’ve only known for 4 days and I feel like whoever I used to be is dead. I even met his cousin in person & parents over FaceTime while I was visiting him! Why would he introduce them to me if he’s married to someone?? This hurts me so much to think about and I feel like I’m dying.