Hi everyone,
This feels a bit uncomfortable to write, but I want to be honest.
I’m a 22-year-old man from the south of the UK, and lately I’ve been feeling painfully lonely. Over the past few years, I’ve slowly lost touch with people, and my social circle has become almost nonexistent. Most days feel very quiet, and it’s starting to weigh heavily on me.
I especially miss having meaningful contact with women. not in a creepy or sexual way, but in an emotional, human way. I miss conversations that feel warm, supportive, and genuine. I miss being able to talk about feelings, everyday life, and just feeling understood by someone from a different perspective.
I often feel like I’m watching life happen from the sidelines while everyone else is moving forward, forming connections, relationships, and memories. It makes me feel like I’m falling behind and that something is wrong with me, even though I try my best to be kind and open.
I’m not expecting miracles or instant deep bonds. I’d just really appreciate someone to talk to, to slowly build a connection with, and to remind me that I’m not invisible.
If you’ve ever felt lonely too, or if you’re just open to a genuine conversation, I’d really appreciate hearing from you.
Thank you for reading 🤍
I feel the same sometimes. But the trick is to engage with some hobby or learn something new. I am here to talk if you want to. I am from Oxford UK.
Honestly just diving into random hobbies saved me from getting stuck in my own head.
Guess I have accepted my loneliness, my parents are abroad, I don’t have many relatives, they don’t seem to digest me coming to visit them, I live alone in my apartment, I go to college, I have few friends and once in 15 days we go on hiking/picnic…
i feel you op i've been in similar shoes before and it's a really tough spot to be in it's amazing that you're reaching out and being honest about how you're feeling
What happened
i get this way sometimes too. ive always preferred to be alone but humans are social creatures we need connection fr i try to keep at least a couple of friends in my rotation and be sure to hang out as often as possible which still isnt alot but it helps
I can understand how you feel....
I could have written this… Sorry man. Just know were a bunch suffering and tbh it sometimes look like there’s no way out.
The more time goes the less I have the resources and energy to fight it.
Biggest thing that helps for me is faith. Can be faith in anything. But faith and the hope of a better tomorrow even if your actions don’t yet follow are a good start.
Baby steps bro. Start with an online friend for a few months then try something social irl and practice both till you have more people around you. Pick some solid people then stick with them
Why don’t you try going to the gym? It can feel a bit intimidating at first, but most people there are actually very welcoming and supportive.
When I was 18, after moving to another country, I didn’t have many friends and felt quite lonely. I decided to get a gym membership and started talking to people by simply saying I was new and asking if they could show me how to do certain exercises. That’s how I made a few friends both male and female. Most regular gym-goers have a “self-improvement” mindset, and because of that, they’re usually kind and encouraging toward others who are trying to better themselves too.
Another option is adopting a pet. I have two bunnies at home, and because rabbits are very fragile animals, they require a lot of attention training them, playing with them, brushing them, and paying attention to small details. They often come and sit next to me or on me, asking to be brushed or simply wanting to play. Somehow, they made me forget that I was alone.
That said, if you’re considering getting bunnies, please take the time to properly inform yourself about how to care for them. Many pet shop sellers unintentionally mistreat rabbits due to a lack of knowledge. Contrary to popular belief, rabbits are a big responsibility: they should always live in pairs, be neutered, and receive proper care to live a healthy and happy life.
I felt the same at your age. Now, I'm 28 with around 40 friends. I used to go to work, come home, play on my PS4 & nothing else. I did martial arts once or twice per week, but that was my only social activity of the week. I had around 3 or 4 friends who I barely saw.
I started going out with my martial arts buddies, then I met lots more people at clubs, pubs, etc. It all expanded from there. Just one night of joining in was all it took to kick-start a huge circle of friends!
Pretty much same story dude but I'm nearly 30. You don't get warned it when you're younger to keep connections or they are harder to get later on.
Most people I meet now tend to have a mate they've known since childhood, or at least many years. They have the bonds I had with my old mates when i still got to see them. Now it feels like it all boils down to just having a chat on a work break. Because outside of work they have their own lives and responsibilities that eat up their time. It's rare that I come across someone my age who I have much in common with anyway. But I drifted from the good people in my life and spent years gravitating to wrong people. If I'd done it differently I could have worked for my closest friend doing something I enjoyed with him, but that ship sailed now. My role in his life has been filled.
But you're at an age where it's still gonna be doable with a bit of effort. In my opinion the older you are the more you have to try to meet people though. Try and put yourself out there more and you'll be grateful to yourself when you're older.