I recently started to have sexual violent thoughts and it’s stressing me out. Heard it’s not uncommon for men to have these thoughts. Do any of you guys have these thoughts frequently? And for the record, I am not struggling to control my actions. Have never came to close to committing these crimes.
If you're having violent thoughts and they make you uncomfortable or go against your morals those are called intrusive thoughts even if they involve sex it doesn't mean that part of your brain is craving violent sex. Intrusive thoughts are usually more common with anxiety and PTSD but they occur ironically as a safety mechanism. Your brain proposes the misaligned thought, you get uncomfortable, your body knows it's reaction is what it should be. This is the super simple version, if you want more information feel free to let me know I can give you some links to understanding it. Coping skills for it are pretty easy as well. Don't panic, brains are just fucking weird
This! Your brain isn’t always going to be your friend, and it’s not always going to act in your best interest. You are not your thoughts, but rather your actions.
It's obvious these thoughts are against his morals which is the definition of intrusive thoughts. It's common but not talked about enough. I just wanted to offer my knowledge because it's less scary once you realize you haven't gone AWOL. It's a hiccup. Tiny trauma shock.
yea i’d like the links as well
Yep, same as depressive or suicidal thoughts, that stuff creeps up on you without any prior warning.
Also, it's VERY common in ocd, its uh, not fun.
It's really emotionally draining, hurtful, and honestly upsetting.
IM NOT suggesting op has OCD
Mind sharing the links?
No. Not at all. I've known several women who were victims of SA, and the whole notion of it just makes me angry (at the perpetrators, ofc) and very, very turned-off.
Sexual thoughts? Yes. Violent ones, no. My girl likes to be choked and spanked so that’s about as violent as things get, and I’m good with that.
No
No
Sadly yes, but it's because of a number of things. My ocd is the main factor that causes them but also because I had an addiction to porn in my early teenage years which involved some violent things (nothing illegal, just bdsm); and I was a victim of sa which put "this is the way sex is" into my head. It's not a bad idea to talk to a professional about these thoughts, even though you mentioned you don't have a desire to act on them. I've talked with professionals about my thoughts and it's reduced my stress surrounding the thoughts as well as the thoughts themselves.
Nope. I’ve never had that. I’ve had nightmares though.
Frequently? No
I have conjured up gross thoughts from time to time in my mind, everyone has I'm sure but I wouldn't say I struggle with it at all, I probably spend more time thinking about sandwiches than anything else honestly
No never, I’d imagine it more likely to happen to me than me doing it on someone
I’m 60 and no never. Rough sex yes but not violence.
Define sexually violent
Everyone does, it's just about not acting on them and having good impulse control.
Uhhh speak for yourself brother 👀
First thought is felony, second is misdemeanor.
If the thoughts just pop into your head and they concern you then they are intrusive and likely the result of an anxiety disorder (usually OCD). If these are fantasies of yours that result in arousal then that is absolutely not normal and you should enroll in therapy asap
You might have OCD? I too have incredibly disturbing sexual thoughts against my will they're not violent but make me wanna give myself a lobotomy. But both of those are extremely common in people with ocd
Nope. But I’ve dated a couple of women who wanted me to choke/slap/degrade them, and while I entertained it, wasn’t really my thing.
I think you need help man.
Sexual thoughts are ok and natural. However, sexually violent ones are not. Ideally you should try to curb such thoughts. Divert your mind to something else when such thoughts arise. You never know when such thoughts start becoming strong pushing you to get pleasure out of it and it's absolutely not right. It boils down to safety then.
I lived with a dude in Boston who used to have sex in the living room and occasionally leave his condoms on the floor. Of course I wanted to hang him from the ceiling fan… so sure, that’s sexual and violent in nature.
No
absolutely fucking not
Is this like a fantasy thing? Some kind of CNC or BDSM thing? Cuz there’s a whole group of people who would be willing participants lol