THATS CONTROL

they are so creepy and controlling to the level its toxic

u need to FIGHT and create boundaries

be the bad girl dude

Wow gosh you’re a legal adult and they treat you like a baby. If I were you I would really try to get your own place.

Even my abusive environment isn't this controlling.

Can you move to campus housing?

The irony being their own solution for you is impossible with the boundaries they’ve created. What person would even be able to find someone to date, let alone marry, when they have to be home at 6pm every night lol

Edit: nevermind, forgot arranged marriages exist, now I’m depressed.

You are a legal adult. Are you in a country where you are not allowed to move out on your own? You don't have to do what they want. I know it is hard to come out from under the control of your parents, but you have options to not live under their rule anymore.

damn are you guys in a cult or something? You're a legal adult. you are allowed to leave. I would recommend job hunting as soon as possible after college, opening your own private bank account without telling them, and start saving so you can move out and live with roommates in a city of your choosing. You sound like you're being imprisoned, and not in a chill way.

That's abusive, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I lived similarly until I moved away for college and didn't speak to my family for years. I suggest you do something similar. Do you feel as if you've had the opportunity to explore who you are as an individual?

You need to explore more. You know the saying strict parents raise sneaky kids. Live by it then bc sooner or later they will also pick out who you marry since you wont know anyone. If you dont have one get a job can be a crappy one let's say it from 5pm to 10pm tell them it starts at 4and once or twice a week just explore for an hour before work. Look around you, go to a random store to look around within reason time limit best if its around where you work. That money that you are making from that job tell your perents you have a project from school but instead go to a concert with your friend never go alone but meet people. You dont even have to like the music it might be best but it will get you out of your confort zone and help you make mistakes that will help you learn but within the safety of a friend that will take care of you. I had a friend that I did this with bc she was in the same position and by the time she was 24 her perent were trying to marry her of to some random guy her perents picked out bc they knew he had a good background. Came to a shock to her perents that she said no and was already dating a guy for a year. its been 5 years since then and married for 3 but if I didn't do that she would probly be married to that guy and he would be close to hiting 36 now

Reminds me of the movie Carrie you should watch it !

They’re stunting you… you already are… you will suffer greatly for it as you’re vulnerable and susceptible to being manipulated and God forbid abused. Speak up for yourself, you need to experience the world and figure out things on your own. There’s ways to get out of your situation where you don’t depend fully on them. Make a choice/ decision. It’s your life and you get a say in how you live it.

Do you have a phone?  Can you figure out how to use the GPS feature?  I turn into an amoeba boundary-wise when I'm around my family, and my mom did everything for me as well so I turned out rather helpless.  I also can't read maps, so my GPS has been a life saver as an adult.    

I'm an astrology student, and I don't know if you're into this, but when you can't navigate, that's a strong,poorly aspected Neptune at work in your chart, and it might give you confidence to develop a skill that's Neptunian like a water sport.  When I went on my first canoe trip in university, I understood viscerally what it meant to have the power to direct my life like I was directing the flow of the canoe.  It was a fascinating lightbulb moment for me that was the beginning of my individuation from my family.  Maybe swimming or glass blowing or something hollywood-ish?  Something dealing with one of Neptune's nebulous qualities.  Something that will build solid structure in your life.  

I wish you the best.  I have a sense of what you're experiencing.

As someone else asked, are you in a country that prohibits women from being out by themselves? If not, have you passed the official age of adulthood in your country? If you have, apply for a university far away from your parents and apply for scholarships as an independent student who will not have parent financial assistance. If/when you get in, make the move to school knowing that you may not be allowed back by your parents - take everything of importance with you, including identity documents. Then go live your life and learn how to be an adult.

It sounds like your parents are going to marry you off. Move into a dorm on your college campus and get a tutor to help you learn life skills. Your home is probably more dangerous than the outside world.

I feel for you sis. I'm in the same position. If you wanna talk... 

They’re not protective, they’re controlling. They see you as their property, something they own.

Your parents know they are keeping you caged and incapable. That is their want but wrap it up as protective. Its controlling and sick behaviour.

Quietly join a University if you can to get away. Some join the army or navy. Dont knock it there are many various positions and many people have escaped parents and broadening their horizons.

Get a job living in as a nanny. Look for anything where you can escape this toxic environment And you will actually learn quickly. Never let fear of the world hold you back. I actually fear your parents far more for how toxic and controlling they are.

You need to some how escape.

Also as they say marry I am now assuming they mean an arranged marriage.
I hope you can make it out and have your life. All the best to you

... Do I know you? Or are you me... 

I'm sorry this has been your experience. My parents weren't quite that bad but they themselves were racist, old crotchety people. They hated people. So we lived 2 blocks from the City line and literally only went into the city proper like 7 times. Just for baseball and hockey games. A store that's 2 blocks past the city line? Never been there. Favorite restaurant? They didn't have one. They sat home, chain smoked and drank every day so when I was in my late teens I had to go out discover everything myself.

In terms of this "according to my parents, there IS one way I could go out, have fun, explore the world. Get married!", that's a recipe for disaster. My mother in law (73 years old) was raised like this by very strict Polish parents. She was like an indoor cat. Never learned to drive, still doesn't. To this day she just waits around for my father in law to take her out of the house. Somewhere, anywhere. I feel for her. She's never experienced independence at all.

DUDE you can go out and explore do it now. I have a kid that won't go anywhere, won't get his license or anything. The only way to change something is to do SOMETHING about it.

Is there a way for you to move in with a friend. I’m all for multi-family housing, but I think in your case it would be good for you to get out. And living with a friend you have someone to ask questions to so it would be less overwhelming

Are you from an Asian background? I'm Vietnamese-American and I know some people who grew up in similar situations.

I don't know where you live, but if it's possible you should move out ASAP.

Too bad for chat gpt. We’re locking you in the sewer. Hope you enjoy

I don’t think this is the best advice. Rather than giving you instructions, I’ll share my personal experience, and you can decide for yourself whether any of it is useful.

I’m a 20-year-old male. I grew up with my mother after my parents divorced. She was extremely controlling overprotective, depending on how you look at it. She decided everything for me: the clothes I wore, the friends I was allowed to have, even the books I could read. I wasn’t allowed to go out, didn’t have a phone, and had very limited freedom overall. At one point, I was mostly living on instant noodles for months. She even forced me to become close to someone who had bullied me. I had no real autonomy.

At 15, I ran away from home. I lived on the streets for a few weeks. Out of desperation, I contacted a relative who strongly disliked my family. He agreed to take me in, but only if I worked and paid him every month. It was extremely difficult. I worked illegally in a nightclub they kept me because I looked old enough to work but young enough to attract customers. It wasn’t a good situation, but for the first time, I had some freedom. I started making friends and making my own choices.

After two months, I contacted my father. We hadn’t spoken for at least eight years. I told him everything. He didn’t want me to live with him, but he agreed to become my legal guardian and pay for my schooling. For everything else, I was on my own. It was hard. I slept around four hours a night. But after graduating high school, I had saved enough money to leave the country and start over.

Today, I’m 20. I’ve been in a relationship for almost four years, I pay for my own higher education, and I’m building my life independently. I still love my mother, even though she refuses to speak to me. I’m on good terms with my father now more as equals than in a traditional father-son relationship.

Looking back, my decision was extremely risky and reckless, and I was very lucky to survive and get off the streets. I’m not saying this is the right path. But maybe just maybe you should consider finding a way to gain independence. Carefully. Quietly. With a plan. I don’t want to sound harsh, but if what you fear most is losing your parents, understand that leaving only becomes harder with time. One day, when they can no longer take care of you, all responsibilities may fall on you at once. It’s scary, and I’m not in your position, so I can’t tell you what choice to make. But please talk to friends, teachers, or even a professor people who understand the system and culture of the country you’re in. Because if nothing changes, you may eventually lose the freedom to choose even the most important parts of your own life including who you marry.

I’m not encouraging you to run away or put yourself in danger, only to seriously think about how you can gain independence in a way that’s realistic, legal, and as safe as possible for your situation.