The 25 Worst Items Pulled From People's Butts in 2025, According to the US Government
  • 335 points budz
    • A full shampoo bottle, listed twice, once blamed on boredom
    • A baseball, documented with the explanation “to see what it felt like”
    • A corn cob holder
    • A turkey baster
    • A wine stopper
    • A plastic cleanser bottle filled with liquid
    • Eyeglasses
    • A rock
    • Two pencils
    • A vape pen
    • A flashlight
    • A battery-powered light
    • A film canister
    • A rectangular travel toothbrush
    • A dog chew toy
    • Uncooked pasta
    • An egg
    • Marbles
    • A sandal
    • A doorknob
    • Beard clippers wrapped in plastic, cited as constipation relief
    • A light bulb, inserted glass-side first
    • A plastic coat hanger, altered so the person could drive to the ER
    • A corn-cob style pipe
    • A thermos, discovered during a police body scan
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    93 points DreadPirateZoidberg

    Damn, wish I would’ve scrolled a bit further for the inspiration list before clicking the link.

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    153 points antipop2097
    • A light bulb, inserted glass-side first

    "Either this kid has a lightbulb up his ass, or his colon has a great idea"

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    36 points erichf3893

    Fuckin Kelso

    Edit: I think it was Dr Cox I have shamed my family

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    4 points blue_orange67

    It was Dr. Cox

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    10 points jimmycoed

    It’s a legit Trump covid cure.

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    3 points TM761152

    The idea was "Stick it up the butt".

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    6 points TERRAIN_PULL_UP_

    Both

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    2 points Gem420

    One Guy, One Jar should be mandatory Cautionary Tale viewing.

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    2 points CarmichaelD

    “Just need to get some light inside the body.”

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    39 points Cosmonate

    These are weak. I have a local guy near me who stole a radio from a security officer at a hospital and shoved it up his butt. He also stole a nurses phone charger and it went up there too.

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    41 points TheRonsterWithin

    wow, to charge the radio?

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    24 points Ok-Brush5346

    uncooked pasta

    FUSILLI JERRY

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    9 points starflite

    It was a million to one shot, doc!

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    3 points dustinyo_

    Do you think if it stays in there long enough it'll come out Al dente?

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    19 points indie_rachael
    • A corn-cob style pipe

    If there was a carrot, button and two lumps of coal I'd be wondering what else had been up there earlier in the day.

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    15 points MiJo1987

    the lightbulb give me one guy one jar shivers

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    3 points RMMacFru

    Yep as did the corn cob holder. Yikes!

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    1 points MiJo1987

    never seen that one

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    3 points RMMacFru

    Near the top of the list. They look likethis.

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    3 points MiJo1987

    I though you meant there was a video 🤣

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    2 points RMMacFru

    Lmao. Sorry to disappoint you.

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    14 points Crowbarmagic

    I wasn't exactly expecting marbles on the list. Or an egg for that matter. You'd think that smaller round(ish) objects could be pooped out without the need for an ER visit.

    Some other things on the list though... Yikes.

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    9 points Sirefly

    A full shampoo bottle, listed twice, once blamed on boredom

    At the ER:

    Ralph: "Hello, Fred."

    Fred: "Hello Ralph. Another shampoo bottle?"

    Ralph: "Yep."

    Fred: <Uncomfortalby long stare>

    Ralph: "I WAS BORED!"

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    10 points GaseousGiant

    Glasses? What were they looking for? The light bulb?

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    6 points HeWhomLaughsLast

    Many of these I can understand the how, but a baseball and sandle? I both want and dont want to know the how on those.

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    4 points keg-smash

    Are there pictures?

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    6 points Wonderful_Hamster933

    OF most likely

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    4 points Maleficent_Neat_9316

    A vape penn lmao, I can't

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    3 points AlienInUnderpants

    There are some really creative, and brave, people out there!

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    3 points Lost_In_My_Hoodie

    Was the egg raw? Did it not break? I need answers!

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    2 points AdministrativeFly463

    Were they dressed up as a chicken and wanted to lay the egg?

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    1 points stevencastle

    Was that Popeye with the corn cob pipe?

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    1 points Human_Suggestion7373

    I once heard about a guy who had an entire toolbox full of tools stuck up in his.

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    1 points R1verStar

    I need to know more about the egg. Hard boiled? Soft boiled? I guess it was scrambled by the end.....

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  • 98 points semimillennial

    Of course this list they have no problem releasing promptly

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    24 points Vonchor

    Best reply of 2026 😁

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  • 182 points Cidlicious

    Use things with a flared base when you are experimenting with your backdoor folks. And use lube.

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    43 points EriciiVI

    I can't get off unless i know there's a real risk of ending up in an er trying to explain that there was an earthquake causing me to fall and land on a grapefruit...

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    37 points bestestopinion

    Be careful. Grapefruit can interact with a lot of medications

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    12 points PlaceboJacksonMusic

    Amazon will ship a dong to you if you really want one.

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    3 points Frago242

    Another alternative, maybe dont stick things in your butthole

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    1 points Cidlicious

    Eh people will always try things, at least they should be educated about safety before they do it.

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    18 points Ok-Brush5346

    Or just don't do it. You only get one b-hole. Protect it and cherish it.

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    53 points keg-smash

    Nah man I gotta know what's up there

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    6 points DefMech

    You can find lots of used sigmoidoscopes/endoscopes on eBay for only a few hundred bucks. If you’re on a tighter budget, inspection cams on Amazon are really cheap. Perfectly usable for less than $50.

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    1 points indie_rachael

    The number of illuminating objects on this list really makes me think your suggestion could be equally helpful or...not...depending on how they choose to use it.

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    2 points AldoRaine-1

    It's like the attic of your new house... Once you've investigated, you can start tossing your own shit up there and forget/lose it forever!

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    1 points SnooPineapples6424

    I will protect and cherish your b*tt hole.

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    0 points Recent_Strawberry456

    I went to the doctor and said "I have soreness, a pain at the entrance to my rectum". He told me all the time I refer to it as an entrance it its going to hurt.

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  • 36 points Brass_and_Frass

    I really hate that for the past 5 minutes or so, I’ve been thinking about what the most anus-friendly uncooked pasta shape would be. JFC.

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    9 points Crowbarmagic

    I suppose fusilli has the advantage you can twist it in.

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    3 points Primary_Company_3813

    Rigatoni, probably

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    7 points RepresentativeSun825

    Manicotti. Go big or go home.

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  • 31 points HeartMurse

    As someone who has worked in an operating room for 13 years, I have seen some weird things removed from people’s butts. I have also seen some things not be able to be removed, resulting in a colostomy.

    Always men. Never seen a female come in with something stuck.

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    8 points bestestopinion

    Most women don’t have a prostate that can be stimulated

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    1 points ZealousIdealSpaceman

    no, I like butt play but I'm not going to randomly shove objects up there. I have no prostate either 🤷‍♀️

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    1 points bestestopinion

    Just saying why you’d probably see more men.

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    -9 points RexDraco

    Women won't go to the emergency room for something like this. We need to ask the morgue what they found in women's butts. 

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    -9 points The_Antlion

    They get things stuck in their vaginas instead

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  • 27 points walkernewmedia

    “I slipped in the shower and fell on it”

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    5 points PM_ME_GOOD_DOGS

    "I fell on it."

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    1 points walkernewmedia

    Exactly the scene I was thinking of 😆

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    1 points Ok-Party-3033

    “I’m prone to sleep-cramming.”

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  • 36 points BrewerAndrew

    Did they release the 25 best yet?

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    29 points 877876

    It’s the same list.

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    18 points wthulhu

    Pam?

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  • 16 points countrygirlmaryb

    Wait…. A sandal?!?

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    27 points WhatFreshHello

    Abuelita’s got deadly aim

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    5 points newoldschool

    was a real ass kicking

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  • 14 points KTKittentoes

    Glasses? I got enough trouble finding where I put them.

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    10 points pjsol

    Maybe someone said they can’t see shit?

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    1 points KTKittentoes

    😂

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  • 12 points PinxJinx

    My SIL told me about an old guy who really wanted the ER staff to hurry up with the retrieval of the fleischmanns yeast jar because his wife would be home soon and he couldn’t let her know that “he did this again” 

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  • 11 points scyule

    Was the pasta still "uncooked" by the time it was removed?

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    0 points AliciaKills

    Maybe that's how mommy makes it soft

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  • 10 points WhatFreshHello

    I’m intrigued by the presence of both a corn cob holder and a corn cob pipe. I guess they wanted to make sure they’d emerge in the same form?

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  • 10 points 2crowsonmymantle

    Eyeglasses.

    EYEGLASSES.

    What the actual Christ

    That’s just so random in this list of truly bizarre things— coat hangers, Yankee candles. Then… eyewear.

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    1 points newoldschool

    Reddit has even stranger if you know where to look

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    1 points MostWorry4244

    I’m always losing mine too! Usually just on my head, though

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  • 48 points lectroid

    Where are all the big tech exec’s noses and tongues? Or haven’t they been extracted from that wrinkled, puckered, orange stained crevice?

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    17 points cap10wow

    It’s about removals lol

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    -43 points dwntwnleroybrwn

    For the love of all that is good in the world... please touch grass.

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  • 8 points karnifexlol

    A million-to-one shot, doc. Million-to-one.

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  • 6 points rickztoyz

    ..and a partridge in a pear tree...

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  • 7 points PunkCPA

    Reddit says hold my beer.

    r/buttsharpies

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  • 11 points cristorocker

    They still couldn't remove Lindsey Graham from Trump's.

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    3 points Active_Remove1617

    Which is a surprise given how greasy he is.

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    1 points Electric-Boobs-373

    Or Greg Abbott for that matter…

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  • 12 points GutturalGrinch

    Huh, I guess I keep it pretty vanilla with the hamster.

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    13 points FormerLifeFreak

    🎶 A great adventure is waiting for you ahead

    Hurry onward Lemmiwinks, for you will soon be dead 🎶

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    1 points scrotumscab

    I can't be the only one that got a Labubu removed this year

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  • 4 points VirginiaLuthier

    When I was in training on a big-city ER, we pulled a lightbulb out of this old guy's butt. Turns out it was a birthday present. We didn't ask many more questions

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  • 5 points PM_Me_Ur_Nevermind

    I work radiology in a busy ER. It’s amazing how many times people slip and fall in the kitchen or shower and foreign objects go right into the rectum lol. Half the time they say they are experiencing discomfort and don’t know why. Then after imaging they suddenly remember a missing shampoo bottle or cucumber that must have slipped in unnoticed.

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  • 3 points HumpaDaBear

    That list is so tame. My husband is a RN and personally saw these items in the ER: Apple, light bulb 💡, a full butane canister. The butane canister had to be removed surgically which could’ve been bad for everyone in the OR.

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  • 3 points Sirefly

    So not only do these people get the shame of having to go to the ER, but for some reason it gets reported to the US government! Lol

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  • 3 points GetsMeEveryTimeBot

    One item made me think of Charlie Brown trick-or-treating in the Peanuts Halloween special:

    "I got a rock."

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  • 3 points DoctorDringuz

    GOR THOR SHOVE ROCK IN ASS

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  • 3 points JeffSpicolisBong

    Eddie Murphy sang a song about this, "Boogie in your Butt"

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  • 2 points NathanCollier14

    Well they are the experts.

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  • 2 points sionnach

    I have an image of someone turning up to the hospital with not just a doorknob attached to their arse, but the whole door taken off its hinges.

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  • 2 points afghamistam

    I never wanna hear Americans complain about their tax money being misused ever again. This is great value.

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  • 2 points ryverrat1971

    A full size Yankee candle? WTF. That is horrifying.

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  • 2 points Eric848448

    Million to one shot doc!

    Million to one…

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  • 2 points DistractedByCookies

    With a bunch of these I think "dumb, but I see what you were thinking to achieve". But then you get...raw pasta? A sandal? Eyeglasses????? What the heck....

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  • 2 points safety3rd

    I’m glad deleting Reddit wasn’t my new years resolution again this year

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  • 2 points MontEcola

    The article is somewhat unfortunate with the ad placements . "The most unusual gift that will be a special surprise!" The picture is a butter dispenser shaped a little bit like some of the items listed in the article. Well now. Just enjoy that melted butter on your buns.

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  • 2 points Funny-Company4274

    What are horrible thing to read why un-constipating myself on the toilet. Back to torturing myself now.

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  • 2 points MaurokNC

    Still haven’t seen anything that beats the Vietnam era 105mm HE artillery shell (for a M102 howitzer) and yes, it was discovered to be a live round. And yes, there is xray documentation.

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  • 2 points Sea-League7994

    Most people's heads are still up there

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  • 2 points Ok-Ganache1023

    I guess the us government is still functioning

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  • 3 points reddit_user13

    Nothing shocking in that list.

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    4 points fakemessiah

    Not even the light bulb, glass side first??

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    6 points reddit_user13

    Unplugged? Amateur hour

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  • 3 points Schapsouille

    Wasn't Mike Johnson pulled out of Trump's butt?

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    6 points BaltimoreBadger23

    Nope, still firmly in there.

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  • 1 points Pretend_Hotel_7465

    An egg???????

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  • 1 points InfluenceTrue4121

    Kink night gone off the rails.

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  • 1 points KT2235

    No hard boiled egg?

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  • 1 points mcwookie

    Feels real good, when you sing about your butt.

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  • 1 points Glasgow351

    @badge502

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  • 1 points rbartlejr

    I mean, if you're trying to beat Goatse, you'll have to try harder.

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  • 1 points InvisibleEar

    Dudes Rock

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  • 1 points Cadence-McShane

    My friend, the ER nurse help remove a quart sized Pace picante jar.

    She had an x-ray of someone with a 40 mm grenade (ammo for a thump gun) in their lower intestine.

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  • 1 points Spark99

    Amateurs!

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  • 1 points Existing-Finger9242

    Shampoo bottle. Someone was listening to Adam Sandler's song, "At a Medium Pace" too many times!

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  • 1 points bestestopinion

    I feel like the uncooked pasta and egg would have eventually worked themselves out

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  • 1 points _Mistwraith_

    I know a Dr. who once removed an entire intact wine glass.

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  • 1 points timothj

    What? No gerbils? Fake news!

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  • 1 points EquivalentDig421

    Interesting that we get clarification as to which end of the light bulb was inserted first but nothing on the corn cob holder..

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  • 1 points iusedtobesom1

    I hope they pull Gianni Infantinos head out of Trumps fartbox

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  • 1 points jmcgil4684

    Man I am one boring dude.

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  • 1 points hidelyhoneighbourino

    Uncooked pasta?!

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  • 1 points darthphallic

    Funny how Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezo’s, and pretty much every major media CEO’s nose isn’t on the list.

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  • 1 points Majah-5

    Must’ve been a hard-boiled egg?

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  • 1 points CarmichaelD

    I used to work with a surgical group. My personal favorite was a PAINT ROLLER!

    He and the missus were at home for a nooner and decided to try something new.

    Points for creativity. Extra points for honesty. And damn, the jokes painted the ER in humor.

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  • 1 points Pure_Corner_4000

    Typical Dem!

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    1 points MostWorry4244

    Probably the opposite, really. Not that liberals aren’t putting things in our butts.. we are. But conservatives are also, and they are much more likely to find something that isn’t designed for the job, resulting in a trip to the ER.

    (Also, lots more pedos and creepy trans-fetishists on your team)

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  • 1 points shrimplypibbles2000

    Without a base, without a trace…..

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  • 1 points Western_Sock_4874

    My sister in law worked in a hospital and continually heard stories like this. My favorite was a man complaining of pain and difficulty and was found to have Barbie’s feet sticking out of there. And yes, the doll had to be surgically removed.

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  • 1 points leaderoftheKYLEs

    These people walk among us. You really never know if the rando standing next to you has a whole ass shoe in his ass, or not.

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  • 1 points MW240z

    Corn cob pipe. Shape, texture and functionality all scream no no in bu-ho.

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  • 1 points PlentyAlbatross7632

    The end of year recap we all need!

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  • 1 points come_on_seth

    A rock - Charlie Brown

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  • 1 points come_on_seth

    Eyeglasses left behind when your head is so far up your ass - “I’ve done that “ by triple trumper

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  • 1 points Environmental_Rub256

    Bored?! Usually it’s “I fell on it”.

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  • 1 points FrozenBibitte

    I love how this is crazy news for most people, but this is just an average month in the ER.

    There was one lady who frequently did this. The oddest things were a fork, a lightbulb, and a Ventolin puffer.

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  • 1 points NFTY_GIFTY

    What is the difference between a flashlight and a battery powered light? Also, was it two pencils or a number 2 pencil?

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  • 1 points TheCivilizedBigDog

    A human came into my ER the other day with a soccer ball in his ass.

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  • 1 points ConnectSwitch9178

    Well, it really depends on what you consider "worst"

    Edit: I tried uploading a picture of Eddie Murphy (a.k.a. Boogie in your Butt) but OP has images turned off

    Edit 2: I just realized that's probably a good thing based on the subject matter

    Edit 3: "fecal matter" Self-FIFY

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  • 1 points Suitable_Ad7478

    Lemmywinks

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  • 1 points LongCrab6750

    Eddie Murphy, In my butt song.  

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  • 1 points JRayMaySayHey

    Playing Balders Gate with my GF and we just came across the betting pool list of the same subject 

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  • 1 points bikerinohio

    I had seen an X-ray of a dildo, still turned on and humming away. GF works in radiology and I got a detailed story of the wait, and in the ER with it buzzing away lol! What people don’t realize is your rear end is like the seagulls in finding Nemo. It’s saying “mine, mine, mine” and it promptly ingests it and you’ve got a shameful trip to the ER to have it removed.

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  • 1 points Zealousideal-Sink-18

    What about when they pulled Lindsay Grahams head from Trump's ass?

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  • 1 points MergingConcepts

    As an ER doc with four decades of experience, I can tell you these are not even close to the "worst." I offer the following:

    An old fashion flashlight with 2 D-cell batteries.

    A 13 inch long, 3 inch diameter dildo.

    A TV remote control (in a condom). We could clearly read "Sony" on the CT scan.

    A 4 inch foam rubber ball.

    A 4 inch stainless steel ball.

    A toilet brush (the brush end).

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  • 1 points annoyed_meows

    No furniture? Came here for that. 

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  • -4 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    5 points indie_rachael

    It's made to have an entire child extricated from it without much intervention. I can't really think of anything that can go in that can't eventually be pushed back out unless I forgot it was in there (I'm not even sure how many forgotten tampons are removed from vaginas every year, but I imagine it's a lot).

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    4 points ripdontcare

    Guys are just dumb, hon 🤣🤣🤣

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