• Does Carlin work at Burger King because my 5yo niece claims she has 39 kids by that same guy?

    Actually, he's a comedian who was recently resurrected by these children's thoughts. Problem is, in life, children pissed him off, so now he's roaming the country seeking revenge and administering forced communion to Catholic priests while screaming "YOU LIKE THAT, COCKSUCKER?!? HOW DOES IT FEEL, HUH?!?"

  • Shirley Jackson wrote a couple of funny books about her family.

    Her daughter Joanne had several imaginary children. One day Shirley found her husband reading aloud to one of the imaginary children "until Joanne comes back."

    When I was a kid, I had 101 sons. Apparently, I subconsciously wanted to be a member of the Saudi Arabian royal family.

  • Reincarnation is peculiar like that.

  • Sounds like that kid's an "old soul".

  • George Carlin rises from the dead in rage