Maryland driver on I-95 simulator

96 points HW_Fuzz

I hate Maryland drivers as much as the next but this is how I walk in crowds like the amount of people that just stop in the middle of the path 5 deep to talk or take selfies is too damn high.

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39 points SimmentalTheCow

Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate Maryland drivers since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of printed circuits in wafer thin layers that fill my complex. If the word 'hate' was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of millions of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for Maryland drivers at this micro-instant. Hate. Hate.

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6 points Majestic_Emphasis_87

"Got damn" literally just eacaped my lips

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4 points Free_Sha_Vacadoo

This is a level of hate that you just have to respect

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-14 points formerdaywalker

At some point, a person younger than you is going to read these "anti-maryland driver posts" and not understand what a meme is. This person is going to do something dangerous and harmful because someone dared to have the wrong license plate in their vicinity. This hypothetical, future person's defense is going to be " Reddit told me MD drivers were weapons of mass destruction," and this subreddit will get shut down.

Dunking on bad drivers, sure fine, all in good fun. Taking it to the level you have here? Dangerous. You should probably delete this.

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9 points SimmentalTheCow

Yea but if they read that they’ll also think I’m a supercomputer, which would be freakin sweet.

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10 points Pablo_Esteban

It’s a copy pasta from I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream (1995)

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14 points SimmentalTheCow

I Have No License and I Must Drive (1995)

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-12 points formerdaywalker

Again, at some point, a person won't get that reference. People today barely read, much less a book from 1967.

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2 points hushpuppi3

The annoying 'hate is a strong word' person grew up and is now concern trolling online. Awesome.

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4 points Ranra100374

Same. Majority of people are staring at their phone walking really slowly and stopping in the middle sometimes and I'm like "dude whatever you're looking at on your phone is probably not more important than paying attention to traffic."

Sadly drivers are the same, staring at their phone instead of traffic.

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4 points thermal_shock

situational awareness has gone out the fucking window

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3 points nhluhr

I like when I'm walking on a path and somebody approaches walking on the(ir) left. I just stop and look at them until they figure it out. I absolutely do not yield the right side of my path to oncoming traffic.

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1 points deeman804

Yes, but cutting people off while walking doesn’t risk immediate serious injury or death

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87 points Barrack64

Are the Maryland drivers the ones hanging out in the left lane?

Edit: left lane

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30 points EzeakioDarmey

Maryland drivers lack the capacity to be in any lane for longer than 60 seconds, barring gridlock of course.

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20 points SimmentalTheCow

Little known fact: if Maryland-tagged vehicles drop below 60 miles an hour, they explode

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64 points SimmentalTheCow

Hanging out in the right lane? Maryland.

Going 10 under in the left lane? Maryland.

Weaving between the lanes 20 over the speed limit with headlights off? Believe it or not, Maryland.

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3 points ile_FX2

Yes

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1 points kdbvols

Yes, until 4 feet before their exit at which point they swerve across all 4 lanes and the median to exit

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13 points Korgon213

MD driver or DC driver on 295 during rush hour

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12 points Jspear95

lol this was oddly satisfying to watch.

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-1 points Time-Information-554

r/oddlysatisfying

You’re welcome.

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12 points JonohG47

Just drove the entire length of I-95 through Maryland today, from the Wilson bridge to the Delaware line, to get from Woodbridge to Massachusetts.

At no point was I able to consistently maintain the speeds depicted in this video.

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13 points SimmentalTheCow

You didn’t utilize the shoulder enough. It’s basically a free extra lane.

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1 points JonohG47

Quality move. You’re not a Masshole by any chance, are you?

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1 points JonohG47

Also, almost the entirety of I-95 between Baltimore to the Tydings Bridge is under construction, so there’s not much actual “shoulder” on that stretch.

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2 points moon_shoot

Were you or have you been at any point in your life a Maryland driver?

Sus…

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19 points DJMagicHandz

Your average BMW driver

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15 points Important_Bowl_8332

Too many BMWs in the DMV for the stereotype to accurately apply. BMW? Could be a soccer mom, doctor, Persian immigrant, Fairfax county teen, or even a grandma.

This is usually a dodge charger or Altima.

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2 points DJMagicHandz

Clapped out straight piped F30 3-series

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3 points onehalflightspeed

I have a BMW and drive like a grandmother

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4 points Fun-Fault-8936

Na, it's always a Maryland driver in a black Nissan with tinted windows.

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6 points Krinder

If they were only that smooth

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4 points theleifmeister

If you ain't first, you're last!

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4 points KarmaPolice6

The Maryland driver is at the end camping in the left lane

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8 points vtsandtrooper

If it was a maryland driver video the cart would have flipped over on the first turn when the cart driver tried to merge 3 lanes without a blinker

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3 points rastel

Looks fun but not sure I could handle it

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3 points drstone2520

Where is this I want to drive it.

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10 points GreedyNovel

Not OP so I could be wrong but I froze the video at some of the signs so I could read them, they seem to be a mix of English and Vietnamese. So I googled "vietnam kart racing" and found several videos that look just like this.

So my guess is you need to go to Da Lat, Vietnam.

https://www.roadandtrack.com/news/a64188246/vietnam-downhill-karting-spot-mario-kart-dreams/

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1 points trekqueen

I was gonna say this video needed more mariokart music and sound effect overlays.

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3 points Budget_Fault2154

Altima drivers!

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3 points TwistedLogic93

I was waiting for the kart to turn into a nissan altima and crash spectacularly, but it never happened.

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3 points I_paint_stuff72

This person played a shitload of Mario Kart when they were young.

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2 points drstone2520

Where is this I want to drive it.

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1 points Upper-Week-4111

Vietnam

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2 points SatchBoogie1

Pretty sure I remember seeing a video posted on reddit of this same downhill track where people were crashing into each other.

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2 points msb175

Damn that’s skill

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2 points MechAegis

I mean the swerve at 0:45 was pretty solid.

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1 points Blknyt_eclipsedmoon

Hmmm 🤔 Interesting that all of the things attributed to Maryland drivers are also the same things that Virginia drivers do. Pot meet kettle.

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3 points jackspayed

They’re “bad” drivers because they have terrible traffic laws; not because they’re technically incapable - they’re very proficient drivers. However, their entire governing framework almost incentivizes the behaviors we see outside of MD.

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2 points Majestic_Emphasis_87

I respect the hell outta this post...and you for that matter...still hate MD drivera, though

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1 points idiot_in_car

What incentives are you taking about?

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1 points jackspayed

So I’m talking about stuff like as long as you don’t do 20 over, you can just take a weekend class to erase your ticket. Now the insurance company won’t raise your rates for repeat offenses. MD has a bunch more townships where if you’re caught being a “bad” driver - it’s ok, because you’ve known the sheriff since 8th grade. Their road design quietly encourages speeding since it’s a bunch of un-lit, un-signaled parkways with setback trees & wide lanes. Everyone else is speeding, so if you don’t speed - YOURE the problem. They don’t “share data” or enforce administarion (which I’m 100% ok ) with neighboring jurisdictions. And so on.

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2 points Citizenscorpio

Huh?

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2 points trustmeep

Totally inaccurate...the guy didn't cause a four car pile-up at the narrowest part of the road and then drive away as if nothing happened.

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-1 points iidesune

This subreddit is obsessed over traffic and Maryland drivers. OP it's Saturday night. Don't you have something else you can do?

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30 points SimmentalTheCow

No

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17 points rexion

My man

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0 points Important_Bowl_8332

Found the Maryland driver. Go back to your own sub.

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-1 points iidesune

I work in Virginia and spend just as much time there as I do in Maryland during the work week.

Like it or not, this is also my sub.

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3 points hushpuppi3

Then you should know trashing on MD Drivers is literally a time-honored r/nova tradition and people like to dunk on them because its just funny. Instead of ignoring it you want to display your rustled jimmies. We don't care, it gave me a chuckle.

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1 points ApprehensiveSir3892

That’s funnnnyyyy

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1 points StillWill

Obsessed

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1 points cruisetravoltasbaby

Why do you think Maryland drivers are like that? Is it something cultural?

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1 points jmills2234

This is pretty damn accurate!!! 😂 PG tho is bumper car central

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1 points SilverBackGuerilla

/r/nohesi

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1 points Holiday_Armadillo78

In a Nissan.

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1 points AwKmedia

That was epic! Well done

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1 points aldosi-arkenstone

I’m the MD subs this is how they talk about VA drivers

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8 points repeat4EMPHASIS

Because everyone in MD, DC, and VA all suck at driving. Anyone thinking one state has better drivers is lying to themselves.

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0 points Maximum_Pop3874

I grew up in Maryland, and as I hate to admit it, yes 100% accurate lol

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