Local bookstore had a going out of business sale and I picked up some books by an author everyone raves about…
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  • 598 points Loud_Pace5750

    The guy must be careful or the muscle will run away 😭🤣🤌

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    136 points Feline_Fine3

    Yeah, I was equally confused by that sentence. Like why is he gripping hard on his muscles?

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    82 points goldstat

    I read it as he is holding on to boys and they are flailing hard trying to get away

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    20 points Feline_Fine3

    That makes more sense. I feel like the wording here is awkward.

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    15 points No_Lavishness1905

    I think those might be literal boys. Not his genitalia. Hard to say without context.

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    7 points goldstat

    Yeah that's how I read it. It sounds like he was holding onto at least two boys

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    11 points Satanicjamnik

    Imagine some eels fighting under a duvet

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    10 points jessicat62993

    lol it is written so poorly! He was holding on to two boys because they were playing zombies or something. But I like your interpretation better 😂

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    4 points kttuatw

    I’m not even sure how to picture the last sentence. Please help

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  • 175 points itsjusthenightonight

    Woof. Who is it?

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    363 points jessicat62993

    Colleen Hoover 😬

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    274 points Unusual-Radish1729

    Knew it was gonna be her before I even clicked.

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    34 points yesletslift

    Same lmao. Haven’t read this particular book but I knew it.

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    19 points marteautemps

    Me too and I've actually never read one of her books, just snippets on Reddit pretty much

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    103 points DeLowl

    I actually hate how she writes. Colleen Hoover is my archnemesis, and she'll never know.

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    44 points itsjusthenightonight

    Haha, damn. Somebody should tell her about the whole "show, don't tell" thing. It'll blow her mind.

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    2 points IWillTransformUrButt

    “Show not tell” is an outdated writing rule that was meant more for screenplay writers. Showing and telling, if done correctly, are both useful tools in novel writing. Colleen Hoover, however, does not do it correctly most of the time.

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    8 points itsjusthenightonight

    It's pedagogically useful. If you tell students not to tell, they'll still tell but do it less. It's far from outdated though.

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    28 points Impossible_Gold1573

    Color me shocked 😂 she’s so fucking gross.

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    39 points No_Hospital7649

    God, she’s so fucking problematic. I do not understand the appeal. She’s got a real dangerous domestic violence kink that she loves to normalize to her young audience.

    In fairness, I’ve only read It Ends With Us, but that was more than enough.

    I have such internal conflict about the whole Lively/Baldoni legal battle, because on the one hand, I want to believe and support other women. On the other hand, Blake Lively, who could fill her schedule with any project she felt like, and Justin Baldoni, who proclaimed himself to be some kind of feminist, decided to team up and do a movie about a man who abuses his wife, and then gets to keep his career, his family, his child, and reputation.

    The movie should have been buried and everyone who stuck their celebrity name on it deserve all the reputational and financial damages that comes from it.

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    19 points Living-Anybody17

    The author barely disguised fetish is a title that suits Colleen pretty well. The book I read of her also had this DV "plot" and also on top of that the "cheating on my sick wife with you because you're perfect in my eyes" main plot. Very odd decisions to take outside of AO3😂😂😂😂

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    6 points jessicat62993

    I probably should’ve read up on her more as I don’t realize she was so problematic when buying these books

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    12 points TinyLemonMan

    Hey, we've all done it before. If you have any more updates on this poorly-written manifesto, I'd love to see them! Hoover books interest me like car crashes do. Can't believe she's so popular!

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    12 points youburyitidigitup

    I don’t know who that is. I half expected it to be a man.

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    12 points jessicat62993

    She’s a very popular current author. Some of her books are being made into movies

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    6 points greypusheencat

    HAHA knew it as soon as i read this

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    3 points DeliciousGorrila

    Tell me why did I already know the answer 💀

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    5 points SilverConversation19

    Ah so I was correct.

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    3 points Not_AHuman_Person

    I haven't read any of her books but I know enough about her to never have to

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    6 points LexiAOK

    I WAS ABOUT TO GUESS HER AHAHAHAHA

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    3 points dan1361

    All my homies hate Colleen Hoover

    (My girlfriend taught me to say this when I see her name)

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    2 points Sea-Word-4970

    Or Sarah J.Maas. who cares ? They are all the same shit authors

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    1 points sweetpotato_latte

    I knew it. I rolled my eyes so many times while reading It Ends With Us.

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    1 points Raentina

    Is this the novel Verity? I saw good reviews for it, was the first (and only) Colleen Hoover book I’ve read. Was pretty disappointed

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    2 points jessicat62993

    It’s called Slammed. I read Verity awhile ago and it was…fine. I read a lot of psych thrillers and it was just nothing special. This one is way worse so far.

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    2 points Raentina

    Oooooof. Wishing you the best of luck! Yep I was on psych thrillers a little while back and was recommended verity!

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  • 146 points Sudden_Morning_4197

    Lmao it's hilarious to see the men's equivalent of her boobs boobed boobily down the stairs.

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    10 points LexiAOK

    Amazing comment 😂

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  • 60 points JD_tubeguy

    Damn that is some piss poor writing.

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  • 103 points Pinkshoes90

    So how would you describe him then, Not Most Girls? You failed to provide us with that info.

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    16 points meowingdoodles

    Seriously. Some high quality writing there. /s

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  • 16 points jerrydacosta

    i would’ve closed the book so quickly

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  • 16 points LexiAOK

    This is hysterical. I am trying to finish one of her “works” for a book club as we speak…clearly I’m here so you can see the struggle…I was able to guess exactly who it is and (unshockingly) y’all have my exact same critique in these replies lmao

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    2 points LexiAOK

    I can’t believe a woman of her age is even able to write something so immature. Heavy emphasis on “show not tell” and she only interests you in the way a car crash does. In the book I’m reading, every time there is a conflict, people punch each other, and her portrayal of women vs men is questionable at best.

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  • 11 points Bulky_Slip_1840

    Love animorphs

    KA Applegate ftw

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  • 21 points Living-Anybody17

    Shit like that is what trapped my teenage ass into this bizarre thinking when I was young. I thought that because I was reading books I was getting smarter and not like other girls, and sometimes the books I was reading were those crappy ass books about clones of Bella Swan or Katniss.

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  • 17 points [deleted]

    Honestly, context matters here. I can get behind this if it were a lesbian narrator describing an unimportant guy or who her love interest is initially with. But if it’s a het romance…yikes 😬

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    19 points jessicat62993

    I’m only a few pages after this one and she’s very into him lol

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  • 5 points Quantum_Kitties

    For a second I thought I was on r/TrollXChromosomes, I think they'd enjoy this male version of "she breasted boobily down the stairs" lol

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  • 3 points 0fluffythe0ferocious

    Lord, why did we go backwards?

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  • 3 points poisonedgutz

    colleen hoover, my beloathed

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  • 3 points Jesusdidntlikethat

    “He’s hot but I’m not other girls, to me he looks like Quasimodo”

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  • 2 points Green-Krush

    r/notliketheothergirls

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  • 2 points PapaDil7

    Wow this is so bad can we see more?

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    1 points jessicat62993

    That would require me to keep reading it lol. Just kidding I plan to finish it maybe this weekend so I’ll share any other cringe I find.

    The only other thing that’s pissed me off is that the main character called a basketball hoop a “basketball goal.” It sent me into a conniption haha

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  • 2 points pins-chick

    colleen hoover?

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    1 points jessicat62993

    How’d you know lol

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    2 points pins-chick

    Only CH could write a sentence so cringey and awful

    True story, I once badmouthed Colleen Hoover in front of my friend...and she pulled up her sleeve to reveal a Colleen Hoover tattoo. I died.

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    1 points jessicat62993

    Oh no. I’m speechless

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  • 1 points AdditionalBench9794

    Which book?

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    1 points jessicat62993

    I don’t have it near me but I think it’s called Slammed

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  • 1 points Uszanka2

    Ew

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