[Nightengale] MLB announced Max Kepler, currently a free agent, received an 80-game suspension after testing positive for Epitrenbolone, a performance-enhancing substance.
  • 157 points Mr_Sassmonkey

    No chance he makes the HoF now.

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    37 points Sp_Gamer_Live

    Bro coasted on Pretty Privilege

    He had 1 great season and was uncooperative and constantly made selfish decisions (not playing center when buck was hurt, the shot because lord knows that thing isnt safe but pig steroids are)

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    2 points jcwitte

    Let's not forget his off the field shit too like putting that Blue Lives Matter thing on Instagram.

    "I'm not from America so I didn't realize what it meant.... even though I've lived here for over a decade"

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    -28 points Skow1179

    I don't really give a shit whether people got the covid vaccine or not. Personally I did, but it's proven and even known then to be a mostly tame sickness that mutates like crazy, just like the flu. Do you hate everyone for not getting a flu shot every year? I got the covid vaccine but I will never fucking touch a flu shot.

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    4 points mitchdtimp

    Its exhausting having to exist with yall

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    -63 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    57 points korver_4

    That was the joke

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    1 points dustinh30

    Wooooooooosh

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  • 119 points Reesyrz

    Damn. Not even a masking agent, just straight up steroids. His career trajectory is a real shame.

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    -21 points DrAbeSacrabin

    He’s just the standard sacrifice to make it seem like the MLB does aggressive testing.

    Everyone of those guys use performance enhancing drugs of some kind. These guys have access to drugs that the MLB doesn’t (and won’t) even test for.

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    13 points freakyfriday69420

    Ok guy lol

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  • 54 points whocaresano

    He played like that when he was JUICED?!

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    17 points dippitydoo2

    In the baseball thread someone said he may have started because he was playing so crappy, we don’t know when the test was from. That kinda tracks for me if so.

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    5 points whocaresano

    Yeah, I could buy that.

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    2 points Beardog-1

    It takes more than one positive test to get to the suspension stage.

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    2 points dippitydoo2

    Copy that. Yikes

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    4 points jmrmaker

    This is good for Barry Bonds

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    1 points whocaresano

    Nice.

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  • 261 points Richnsassy22

    So clearly he's not THAT scared of needles.

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    43 points OregonBaseballFan

    Well played, stranger. Well played.

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    6 points DakotaDevil

    I must be out of the loop here. Please don't tell me that Max is some sort of brain dead anti-vaxer.

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    53 points WildBBQLover

    Yes. 

    He refused to get vaccinated when Canada required it to cross the border. 

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    11 points DakotaDevil

    Oh shit, I think I vaguely remember that but probably chose to ignore it and pretend that he wasn't a dumbass.

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    -75 points xKrakenarmsx

    All thats come out and you still think the Covid vax's positives outweigh the negatives?

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    30 points DakotaDevil

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    42 points OregonBaseballFan

    Oh honey, you do be dumb.

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    22 points Cheap-Discussion-186

    Uhh yes? Lmao man covid has just broken people.

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    -1 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    3 points cothomps

    ^ Max was not an Army brat. His parents were actually ballet dancers.

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    1 points DRL_tfn

    Isn’t Max from Germany? Europeans, like the rest of the world, cannot understand those in the MAGA crowd

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    0 points Tuilere

    underrated comment

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  • 75 points kasabe

    that explains why his bihh was so thicc

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    17 points horse_renoir13

    Can no longer see that Twinsie

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    1 points Sp_Gamer_Live

    BBL Maxy

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    7 points MichaelBleazys

    Knew he was injecting stuff into dat assssss

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    5 points cronoes

    Bros this meme is literally the reason why i fucking love Max Kepler and he can do no wrong with me.

    That and he was legitimately good that year.

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  • 21 points ztothe4th

    wasn't he also not doing so hot on the field? yikes

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    38 points noseonarug17

    Pretty common story, struggling veteran tries to get an edge

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    2 points ztothe4th

    always hate to see it

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    1 points LymanPeru

    not since 2019.. or before 2019..

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  • 101 points Responsible-Quit-116

    Blame the Pohlad family. They gave him the steroids. Maybe it’ll make MLB force them to sell the team.

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    39 points This_Influence_9985

    I like where you're going with this...

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    38 points horse_renoir13

    POHLADS ARE DRUG DEALERS

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    4 points inquisitivegoof

    Manfred should order a home invasion to pull the Pohlads out of their mansions in the middle of the night, without league approval or oversight, fly them to NYC, and install a new ownership group as a way to combat their drug dealing.

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  • 32 points jcwitte

    I wonder if he'll just quietly retire.

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    29 points EricNickelson

    I had this same thought. If i looked like him, id say “fuck it, I’m a handsome millionaire. Let me build a harem.”

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    7 points Mission_Wind_7470

    He'll probably go to Japan and finish his career there.

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    10 points Sp_Gamer_Live

    last time the germans and japanese linked up it didn’t go so hot

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    1 points senorpepino

    And he'll say it really quietly, like a whisper

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  • 21 points koalificated

    Goddamnit Max. Now I gotta change my flair

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    13 points ISuckAtFallout4

    Just do It in all caps

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    1 points thewormauger

    I'm not sure if you capitalized 'it' on purpose or not, and I don't want to know

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    2 points MG_MN

    Really disappointing to see this from Max, he was a really solid Twin

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    -1 points spacedropper

    Nahh

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  • 9 points jcwitte

    whoopsie

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  • 7 points WildBBQLover

    Isn’t Epitrenbolone pretty hardcore too? Jeepers.

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    14 points awwhorseshit

    Epitrenbolone is a metabolite/analog of trenbolone, a synthetic androgen originally developed for veterinary use to increase muscle and appetite in cattle.

    Probably one of THE MOST extreme and most powerful anabolics out there.

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  • 7 points Hotchi_Motchi

    Good thing he doesn't play for the r/minnesotatwins anymore

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  • 6 points joe-is-cool

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  • 5 points jacodema

    Ope

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  • 4 points This_Influence_9985

    Noooo.... Not the Strudel!

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    1 points WorriedCaterpillar43

    Comment deserves more love

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  • 9 points Nendilo

    Max never loved the game anyway. That's probably it for his career.

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  • 19 points stupidnatsfan

    Probably not worth the energy I'm giving it, but any time a player gets busted for PEDs it bums me out how excited the r/baseball sub gets to dogpile on the guy like it's some deeply moral failing rather than just a stupid ass decision. It's disappointing and it was obviously incredibly stupid of him to take an animal growth hormone, but I just feel weird about how much you can tell people are licking their chops to shit on a guy they didn't have a strong opinion on the day prior. Might just be thinking about it more because I've got a sentimental soft spot for Kepler, I don't know.

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    42 points BKnagZ

    I’d have some sympathy if it weren’t for, you know, the whole anti-vax thing from Covid

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    -1 points stupidnatsfan

    Very fair, and there's obviously a great irony to a guy who wouldn't get vaxxed being alright with putting illegal steroids in his body. But my feeling is that a lot of the people shitting on him don't really care about him being anti-vax on a day-to-day basis, more so they just know that that is an easy dogpile that will get engagement. Like if this didn't happen and it was announced that he signed 1 year deal with the Brewers I doubt people would be bringing it up; from what I saw there was very little mention of Dylan Cease being anti-vax when he signed with the Blue Jays, but in this situation it's convenient and so people will use it.

    To be clear, I'm a believer in vaccines myself and 2020 helped me realize that I am likely nowhere near aligned with the average baseball player's beliefs. But the more time I spend on the internet the more I notice how disingenuous ~50% of the activity in larger subreddits are, much more geared towards engagement than legitimate attempts at conversation.

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    5 points Sp_Gamer_Live

    Oh ive hated him before this dont worry

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    2 points stupidnatsfan

    Sincere question, do you actually believe that you hate the guy? I get thinking that he's stupid or disappointing, sure, but full-blown hatred?

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    5 points Sp_Gamer_Live
    1. Hes a bootlicker

    2. Selfish jerk who would make selfish decisions like refuse to play centerfield when buck was hurt

    2b/3: The Antivax shit

    1. he was an ass to one of my friends

    2. also he sucked

    so yeah

    hate

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    1 points stupidnatsfan

    I see

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    1 points TheDandyWarhol

    Story Time! What did he do to your friend?

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    1 points LymanPeru

    it was deserved either way, i saw his friend go into the mens room with an ice cream cone.

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    1 points LymanPeru

    he wasnt any good, was my reason.

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    8 points -XanderCrews-

    That was the entire 90’s. Pretend they were all clean and act like they were monsters when they were “caught”. And I use quotations because these guys had necks the size of pumpkins and like 4 mlb players were actually clean.

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    2 points LowCarbCracker

    And even the non-jacked ones could've been on the stuff too. Palmeiro wasn't jacked and he was on it. Which makes sense, since one of the effects of them is increased energy, which starts going down overall as you push past 30.

    If you've seen the documentary Icarus, you'd remember that energy bump is the one thing the film-maker noticed immediately when he got on the stuff.

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    1 points LymanPeru

    the first mlb player suspended was some light hitting shortstop.

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    1 points N4meless_King_

    Redditors tend to just hate their own lives so much that the moment a public figure makes a mistake they pile on them to make themselves feel better about their own problems.

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  • 3 points Alejandroandronomous

    What a fall from grace.

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  • 3 points awwhorseshit

    He's barely been a capable player since 2019 and was fucking awful last year.

    I don't blame him to trying to do whatever he can to make more money cause he's THISCLOSE to being unplayable for anyone.

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  • 3 points sirhippieangel

    https://preview.redd.it/2yyz3vfajecg1.jpeg?width=2160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b8099c7fdde95789b6d9f5e467f239d9461005e

    Shambles

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    2 points Sp_Gamer_Live

    Test him for greenies

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    1 points sirhippieangel

    Look his vet said it was heartworm meds! I swear man!

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  • 2 points Petersam55

    Bad look

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  • 2 points skyulip

    holy shit?

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  • 2 points SkiUMah23

    Are they sure?

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  • 2 points Qwikynz

    OOF

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  • 2 points klippDagga

    Ringworm perhaps?

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  • 3 points Hollywood42cards

    I'm sorry but I find this hilarious

    Man, Kep could have been a lifetime fan favorite, but between the anti-vax and bullshit statements, stubbornness to play center field or try to make any sort of meaningful adjustments, and now this, I'm glad to be done with him

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  • 2 points mostlygroovy

    What an asshole. Couldn’t get vaccinated to save others or cross the border to play in Toronto

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  • 2 points Extremelixer

    Man that sucks. Can't imagine a team gives him a shot at this point. Between this and failing to be productive since the juiced ball season dudes in the rocks

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  • 2 points RobutNotRobot

    Not to go all 'I never liked the guy' because Polanco got suspended for the same amount of time and I still like him, but I never warmed to Kepler.

    I think it mostly has to do with him not wanting to play center and people thinking that was OK. Also COVID denialism.

    EDIT: Also compare/contrast with the gigantic avalanche of shit that Kevin Slowey got for not wanting to move to the bullpen. Kepler never got that for some reason for making the Twins shuffle their lineup and play old man Jake Cave in center.

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  • 1 points BingoBongoBang

    Bullshit

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  • 1 points Haybanger

    We used to have fun watching this team. Except in the early 2010’s. That was a period.

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  • 1 points SkarTisu

    Yet they let A Rod play for years.

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    5 points Sp_Gamer_Live

    Nah we dont hate arod anymore, he made up for it by sending Glen Taylor to the shadow realm

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  • 1 points KoomDawg432

    Wow. Just not someone I would have expected.

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  • 1 points timberwolvesguy

    Not Max 😭

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  • 1 points SepLeven

    One thicc bih, indeed…

    Shame his twinsy probably shrunk.

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  • 1 points Tough_guy22

    So disappointed

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  • 1 points Other-Oven-1884

    without the juice he'd have been below the Mendoza line

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  • 1 points Prez731

    The first thing I thought when I found out several years ago that he hangs out with Barry Bonds during the off-season is I wonder how long before he gets caught pedding. Glad we don't have to deal with him anymore, good riddance.

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  • 1 points MnWisJDS

    I get the sense that some in the local media suspected something was up with him years ago.

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  • 1 points MnWisJDS

    That one year offensive blip looks even more suspicious

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  • 1 points Minnesota_Husker

    Walks into Philly and immediately starts doing drugs.

    At least he didn’t eat horse crap…. Yet

    /s

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  • 1 points Witty-Stock

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  • 1 points LymanPeru

    jebus, it made him lose his hair too!

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  • 0 points Karl_MN

    Owned, fuck you kep

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  • 0 points yvmm_s

    Lmao. Never liked this guy on or off the field

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