I feel like I'm carrying around a museum of past mistakes and old identities. I'm interested in how others curate their own mental space to make room for the person they are today.

  • I used to be like that until I got older, Now when something pops into my mind I laugh and think’ I was so silly back then. It helped me from punishing myself for something that I can’t change. Forgive past yourself for you are human.

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  • It’s hard to put some of that to rest, but I have 2 methods: I write stuff down and burn it, and I visualize packaging it up in a box and dropping it over a bridge. Sometimes I doodle it out.

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  • I remember learning in AA to not give toxic people free rent in your head, and I’ve done a pretty good job of following that advice except for the one toxic person that I can’t get out of my head – me!

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    I hope you can achieve that too 🙏

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  • Accepted that some people are unhealthy for me to be near because they increase my stress level and anxiety and further accepted that some of those people were family members. You can’t change people, but you can change how close you are to them.

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  • I just deleted two old email accounts today with about 50,000 emails between them.

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  • I just say to myself "I can't fix it but at least its over" when I remember some unpleasant event or poor decision from long ago. Then go do something to keep your mind busy.

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  • Keeping busy is one solution

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    That’s not really a solution though, it’s avoidance. Kinda like pushing a ball underwater in a pool - the harder you push down the more likely it will pop up and hit you in the face.

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  • I'm pretty sure that's what therapy is for 😂

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  • Your mind keeps replaying thoughts because there’s nowhere to dump them. Write them down ugly, stupid, embarrassing, angry, happy, all of it. Once they’re out, the noise drops. Most anxiety is just unexpressed thoughts looping on repeat.

    Tip- Burn it after

    PS- My therapist told me this.

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  • Highly recommend internal family systems therapy, done with a therapist

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  • Essentialism is a very good book written by a guy who’s name I can’t remember right now but the book and audiobook are both great (good narrator) and the author covers exactly this- what do we spend our time and energy on and how to determine what is essential to (reader). Really a good read and lots of things to consider

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    The book is by Greg McKeown

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  • Let’s say a date in the calendar year has its history and past trauma. Acknowledge that date. However, intentionally do something that is healing, self-care, nurturing, grounding and while doing that, tell yourself that you are healing. I have even looked at myself in the mirror, that morning, and say “You’re here now. You’re ok. Yes, that happened, but it’s no longer happening. You have come this far. You’re doing good. I love you.”

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  • I practice meditation.

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    Probably my most efficient tool.

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    1. Daily journaling

    2. Practising Stoicism

    3. Therapy every 6ish weeks for a good chat

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  • Great question.

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  • Thank you all for sharing your wisdom and making this such a great conversation.

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  • Gladly I don't have bad memories abd absolutely zero regrets

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  • Asking the real questions now

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  • You’ve got some great advice in the thread already but to add to it, I only feed my brain the story I want to hear, so I delete old photos, delete any unnecessary files on my computer, delete unnecessary emails, anything that doesn’t fit in with the “character” I’m trying to be/aligned with or useful to my goals in the here and now. Some past memories like family photos or pics from a great trip stay because they reinforce the story that my life is full of love, exes and pics of places I went once with an ex and never again or random photos I don’t remember the purpose of get the boot.

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  • the book the power of now or studying mindfulness. 

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  • I have no minds eye and ADHD, I have a Swiss cheese memory, am mostly face blind, have time blindness, and object permanence issues

    I don’t have many of the things you mentioned, I don’t even grieve for more than a month or so

    Edit: Not my fault I don’t have old memories, I barely remember the day my kids were born

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