Idk I’ve given up with talking to him over text atp. He doesn’t pick up calls so that isn’t an option lmaooo. We’re both gen z so I understand most his slangs like “ts” or “sch” or “fr” but I feel like the rest of it he just made up and he won’t stop with this act and it’s seriously going to put me into a coma anytime soon.
Idk I just felt like I needed to vent because one can only go on with this for so long. When will he grow out of this? I don’t know, I wish I knew.
I am now stupider for reading that ykwim
That's one of the only things he wrote that I do understand lol
I think I got it:
ion evn kn if i gt ttt - I don’t even know if I got the time to. (or: I don’t even know if I got the time today.)
brh uon kn me - Bro, you don’t know me.
no time to - I don’t have time to (do that).
hv u tkn out th grcrys - Have you taken out the groceries?
HV U DN TH GRCRYS CUH - Have you done the groceries, bro?
bro uon evn kn me fr - Bro, you don’t even know me for real.
nah - No.
ts sch hv - This school has food.
no fd - No food.
yh ykwim - Yeah, you know what I mean.
dpnds ott ykwim. I gtg do shi ltr b4 tn - It depends on the time, you know what I mean. I have to go do shit later before tonight.
bro u pmo u ask mi evt evd liek it ain allat hrd 2k - Bro, you pissing me off. You ask me every time every day like it ain’t all that hard to know.
He wrote mi instead of me in 12? What the fuck??
I think "mi" actually means "me it". As in "you ask me it every time".
THAT DOESN'T HELP AT ALL!!
AAARRGGGHHH!!
The worst, and this is one I caught from a boomer on facebook, is "cud."
I thought it was like cuz
Ykwim, uon kn me, cuh.
Edit- shit. I used punctuation.
He’s a fake! This dude’s old!
He also wrote "liek" when he could have just wrote "like" lmao
Looks like he is attempting to not write a single word as it’s supposed to be
5 is giving big "English speaker getting louder so that the locals, who speak no English at all, can understand them better"
It’s so perfectly ironic how you meant to put #5 and Reddit turned it into giant text
Needed to make sure I was understood, you see.
NO COMPRENDE POR FAVOR
Thank you!! I do think in #11 “ott” means “on the time”
That one was easy for me. I had no clue what the hell the food thing was tho
"Ts shl hv" = "this school have" is a very incorrect way of saying my school has food
Pardon me, but I think it’s “this shit school have”, but of course I could be wrong. God help us.
nah -> no
brilliant
8.“this school have food emoji 12. “Bro, you piss me off, asking me everything every day, like it isn’t all that hard”
smh the effort of this texting style
Exactly what im saying. He abbreviates 3 and 4 letter words into 2 letters. Like bud that isnt saving you any time lmao.
For those wondering, the brother is using ebonics (American Black Urban dialect) and then outrageously text abbreviating it. If you were having difficulties parsing it, it's probably because you don't typically see ebonics written out.. much less written out like whatever this is.
Source: former DC local who texted with a lot of ebonics speakers.
Sounds like he's also trying to emulate the Baltimore accent too where they basically mumble and blur sounds together.
"Aaron earned an iron urn"
"Ern ernd en ern ern"
To be fair, half of that is Baltimore Ebonics, and half of that is... the other problem Baltimore has, lol.
I've been watching the Wu-Tang Clan series, and I was thinking little bro was writing like they speak.
English isn't my native tongue, but I can understand the slang when spoken but written that way... I'm definitely blocking anyone still writing to me like that after I've asked for clarity.
Also known as African American Vernacular English (AAVE)
Didn't know there was a new term (or an old one I'd never heard)!
Good to know.
To my knowledge, "AAVE" replaced "ebonics" in most linguistic uses to legitimize the fact that it is an actual English dialect and not just, "ebony phonics," which while I won't jump right to the race card, its definitely not the most neutral name.
But also, to my knowledge. I'm not a linguist, I just have far too chronic access to Wikipedia's random page button.
Your comment is a goddamn dictionary. Thanks, this kid is.... well, not wise to use proper words.
Er er an er er
Aaron earned an iron earn.
No no, it's 'Aaron earned an iron urn'. Damn we really do sound like that?
"What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul"
Save these screenshots and show him in a few years
Exactly my first thought. Put it on a shirt and wear it on his 21st bday
How does it reflect on me as a sibling if my first thought was "threaten violence and slap him few times if that insufferable brat doesn't listen".
Sounds like your idea of sibling hood matches my children’s.
I will broadcast this at his wedding one day.
He is going to despise that he was like this one day.
I hope that the ‘one day’ comes sooner than later 😤
Definitely better than my siblings, they would say random stuff back like "What!? You deepthroated a goat!?" which would eventually shame me into not using slang and typing it all out, could always give that a go. ;)
This is the solution. OP needs to misunderstand them on purpose every single time, and very soon they'll be able to communicate clearly again.
Ah yes, you got it, I'll drop your herpes meds off to you at school. I hope the flare up isn't bad.
oh, ok. Does mom know your using her vibrator? I think she should know.
This is the best response 😂
The last one is soooo good 😂
At least wipe it down before putting it away. And recharge it if it's low.
This is how I taught my daughter not to talk with her mouth full of food. I distinctly remember her saying something and in front of everyone I pretended to misunderstand: “What?! You really want to dance with sea monsters?!”
I had a teacher that would do something similar. If we mumbled our answers he would always say "You stepped in what?! All over your shoes?" Or "You did what behind whose barn, for how many cookies??"
That last one is creepy
Fr fr ykwim!
Yeah this is the way to do it.
It's always quicker to give to wrong answers and get corrected than it is to ask questions and wait for help.
"hv u tkn out th grcrys"
We don't have a "grr" crystal, that's not a thing. I don't know where you come up with this stupid stuff
Even better. Google acronyms of the stuff written - like EVN comes back with Vietnam energy, KN with Kilo Newton and GT becomes Grand Touring - it starts to make absolutely no sense in a humorous way.
That reminds me of the time one of my coworkers started putting "SSGB" in his email signature. Everyone was like, WTF is that, so I did a quick Google and announced "Succulent Society of Great Britain!" So people started congratulating him on his succulents, and he was really confused.
"Tom Hanks' girl is crying because you wouldn't take her out? What?" xD
I'm against all forms of violence. But also after reading this, maybe slap him? With love of course.
/s
Give um a slap like you would an old tv that's struggling to get a signal...
Or,
He could secretly be Welsh.
No K in Welsh alphabet, so it's not the latter 😬
(Edited later to latter)
15 or 16 when he does this to a girl and she's like "Nope, fuck that."
literally hahaha. she's gonna run for the hills
Fo’Shizlle
Sadly there will be no wedding with this texting skills
You don't think he'll eventually find some lovely young lass who is just as brainrotted to wed? Bruh? Fr fr?
😭🙏🏻
Bro just call him cringe, he’ll stop
Call him a cornball. Apparently that’s worse.
a cornball? So we've cycled all the way back to using insults from the 40's?
It doesnt work when they are younger than you, because it’s them who decides that in their mind
Optimistic to think this one will find a partner.
Feel like I just had a stroke.
Like, I can piece most of it together but it's an unreasonable amount of effort to put in.
Also, with autocorrect, I can't even imagine texting that way is quicker.
I'm Nokia3210 generation, and even back then people sounded coherent
The ability to sound coherent isn't the only difference.
The other was that we had to miss letters and sound like that as you literally paid for each individual text, so writing it long hand would cost a fortune, unlike the unlimited texts packages / WhatsApp type apps they have now
This reminded me of the "3 seconds rule". The providers billed you by the minute, but the first 3 seconds were free. Maybe they tried to be considerate in case of wrong numbers and stuff. This led to all broke teenagers doing whole conversarions in 3 second packages, saying one sentence then immediately hanging up.
Do you mean collect calling?
bobwehadababyitsaboy!
Pickupcinemathanks
bringhotchipsbeforepickup
"Who was it, dear?"
"It was Bob. They had a baby. It's a boy."
Lmao I LOVED that commercial! And now pay phones are all but non existent.
Wait you just solved a mini mystery for me. I finally understand why my dad texts so fucking weirdly. Like it's fully coherent, I get what he's saying, but everything is so short and he's the quickest to the point of anyone I've ever spoken to via text. Plus all the normal 'fast' stuff, like you=u, why=y, your=ur, I don't know=dunno/idk.
Like I knew it was something along the lines of that, just never looked it up to find the exact why. When I text him I feel like he's thinking 'why is my daughter speaking so formally' it's that short.
I was 21 when the first iPhone came out in 2007. Before that, there was no autocorrect. Before that you had to type in a 10-key, texts couldn't exceed 160 characters, and you bought texts in packages of 500, or your prepaid phone charger you 10 cents per text, so you didn't have full conversations over text. You would say "party at Bob's 7p sat wear costume bring wine" instead of "hey, what are you doing on Saturday? Want to go to a party?" And then having a back-and-forth from there.
I prefer it this way. My wife drives me nuts with starting texts like conversations. "You will never guess what just happened" then she will wait for me to respond before she tells me. Like just text me your whole story first.
Its like we are two peas in a pod haha,
I'm fine with like:
"Hey guess what...
... ... Blah blah"
All in one message just spaced out to give the vibe for the message I guess haha
I have that issue at work when people send me Teams messages.
“Hey.”
Or “Hey, I have a question.”
Like, cool. What’s your question?
Hey my first phone was a Motorola Krazer. I was forged in the T9 days.
We were always more coherent that this. Agreed.
Damn, you were one of the cool ones ... a flip phone .. mine just wouldn't break :|
Classic Nokia. Lol
Mine broke pretty quickly actually. Then I moved to a Keybo 2.
The full keyboard called to me.
Hello Moto!
Mate, we could text one handed without looking. And it was grammatically correct!
I’d never condone this now but back then nobody really considered it an issue - texting one handed whilst driving was a skill that didn’t need you to take your eyes off the road. Touch screens ruined that.
Showing my age here but when teenage me got my first phone, an alcatel something.. it came with a little fold out pamphlet with txt speak.
OMG = oh my god
GTG = got to go
TTYL = talk to you later
RUOK = are you okay?
Just some of the highlights I remember
yeh when you had to hit the same key 3 times for one letter.
it feels as-though it's more work to type things in strange abbreviations rather than just using the auto fill on your phone to do most of the work FOR you...
You’d have to disable autocorrect, right?
If you keep using it, autocorrect will learn that you think it’s a word. But it’s not about being fast, it’s about being cool
I think I’d just copy and paste the questions at this point until I got an actual answer
Listen. As the youngest sibling, all I know is my older brother and sister would not have put up with this shit for long lol
Exactly. If he doesn't get it after me telling him twice, then he deserves my random guesses, which are probably going to leave him hungry. Sry lil' bro, necessary life lessons and such.
Autocorrect has given up by this point.
Autocorrect had a stroke and is in ICU.
https://preview.redd.it/9bxa8ly0cx6g1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d0293059f152dbf7cc6fd546bc99df8410e1de4b
Words do trick, not letters.
Why use word when letter do trick?
Bcs I cnt rd bg wrd wth jt ltr
Justin Timberlake??
This is going to ruin the tour
Wt tr¿
Commenting on My 13y/o brother won’t stop using these slangs 😭... Ok, I’ll do my best
I don’t know if I’ll have time to today Bro you don’t know me No time to
Have you taken out the groceries Have you done the groceries cousin Bro you don’t even know me for real
No, the school has lunch No, food Yeah, you know what I mean
Depends on the time you know what I mean? I gotta go do shit later before ten Bro you piss me off you ask me every time everyday Like it ain’t all that hard to know
This is what was deciphered by my millennial brain.
i thought tn would stand for tonight.
But I feel lightheaded trying to decipher it myself.
No yeah that was definitely tonight
I was about to ask if you were a millennial then you mentioned it. Hah.
I'm a millennial too and the speed and accuracy that I read his texts actually kinda scared me. I honestly thought to myself, "oh I'm not going to know either why waste time reading it?" and then read it and sat there like... What was so hard about that? 😂 That was easy!
You're absolutely right, though. The weird way millennial kids typed felt more like secret codes in comparison to this (in my opinion) and totally brought me back to my childhood reading my friends' 1337 speak messages.
Good translation, though. I think you nailed it considering that's spot on to what I translated. Lol.
im amazed you were able to translate that gibberish brainrot
I'm nearing 40 and honestly this is no harder to read than the 1337 speak stuff we used to write when i was 13.
5h17, 7h3y 907 17 345y n0w4d4y5. 411 7h3y d0 15 23m0v3 7h3 v0w315, w3 h4d 70 4c7u411y u53 0u2 8241n 70 d3c1ph32 7h15.
shit, they got it easy nowadays. all they do is remove the vowels, we had to actually use our brain to decipher this
(btw, Ur l337 $uXX0rs)
Nice I got about 80% correct.
Tho I think the before 10 was meant to be before tonight
Yeah, that all checks out. That's what my brain translated also.
Why have people stopped using actual words? When did people stop using actual words?
I'm glad I can understand it, but at the same time grateful I won't have children.
What the hell does he even think this means?
lol was thinking exactly of this scene
typing like each letter costs $2 to send
he's trying to code golf english
Bob Wehadababyitsaboy
Fun fact, that's literally one of the reason why american english leaves out letters in certain words compared to british english: it takes up less space on a newspaper print (and prints in general) and was thus cheaper, and over the years it just became normal
This is how every show in the 2000s thought teens texted like
Exactly. When I was that age it was just fun to have coded language. Even on a PC and not the phone.
It is either a thing you grow out of or you become a chuuni for life.
Respond with this:
Bro 👨💦 I 😎 just learned how to talk like you, 💻☝ I 😍💰 thinks it's 👈 actually 😤 kinda cool 😎 that ⬅ we 👦🔨 can communicate 🗣 this way. Wasn't aware 👌👌 of 🍒 your game 🎮 Fr fr
The easiest way to get a teen to stop doing something is to make it uncool.
Seriously. So many suggestions of "erm tell him to communicate fluently and effectively ☝️🤓"
NO. This is a LITTLE BROTHER. they must be teased for social corrections from siblings. Match his freak lol
As a little sister I definitely stopped doing weird shit once my siblings started doing it.
Match it, then double down and exceed it!
Br 👨💦 I 😎 js lrn httly, 💻☝ I 😍💰 thn it 👈 accu 😤 kk 😎 dat ⬅ w 👦🔨 cn cmnict 🗣 dis wy. Dnkw 👌👌 a 🍒 ur gm 🎮 Fr fr
Yeah I'd go passive aggressive and invent my own language too just to make him get how annoying it is.
Start talking only in emoji 😭
his little bro will shit bricks. 10/10
Dpnds ott = “depends on the time” thats all I can offer
Dont ask me what the 2k is about, I have no idea
I’m more interested on what “ttt” means honestly 😭
The time to, maybe?
Who the fuck decided that needed to be abbreviated lol
People who clearly are very VERY short on time. He must be the busiest person to ever walk the planet
Why does he keep saying you don’t even know him? 😭
our bedrooms are RIGHT beside each other lol, I think he means it in a like “u don’t understand me” typa way and it has me dead every time
He's successfully rage baiting you
i think 2k might be 'to know'
My best guess is ion evn kn if i gt ttt = I dont even know if I got time tonight (so Time TonighT)
Perhaps it's The Time Tonight
I’ve seen textbooks that need less decoding than this
2k would be 'to know' in that context, I'm pretty sure.
This isn’t even how “the kids” are talking these days. He’s making this all up.
It’s a result of “gentrified” slang.
Yup. Kids love thinking they’re from backgrounds that they’re not actually from
Honestly yeah where is this that he’s calling people “cuh”.
The whitest suburbia you can think of
Kids who watch Bluey and play on suburban streets thinking they’re from Compton. Probably one of the most difficult aspects of being a parent, lol. Like buddy I’ve seen someone get shot.
I remember my brother and his friends deciding they were a gang after watching various movies set in LA and stuff.
They were 12 years old, white and lived in suburban Scotland. It lasted like 3 days when they realised that they didn't really know what gangs did.
It’s great they got that out of their system. I knew a kid in middle school who thought he was a gangster because he knew some gang signs, then one day he threw a sign at a random car while walking home from school and he was lit up. Dead at 11 years old.
[deleted]
I was gonna suggest trying to find some black people to roast him into talking normal.
my friend and i did that in high school when the team captain would “code switch” into speaking like she’s from the hood when she spoke with us. we were the only black girls on the team, and we are both from the suburbs so we don’t even speak like that.
we didn’t roast her directly but talked about it while she was nearby. she never did that again
I was looking for this comment lol. A lot of this shit seems to be peddled on TikTok too. My white ass niece would say some shit I ain’t heard since I was a street kid and I’d give her shit about it, but she said it’s just how people on TikTok speak.
I don’t use TikTok, but if I had to guess it’s a bunch of cringe white kids parroting what AAVE they hear from internet and social media, but just sounding fucking stupid and misusing certain slang lmao
It's just white Kids trying to sound like they are from black communities, it's unbelievably embarrassing
We have this here in Sweden too, except instead of black vernacular it's the vernacular of our primarily Arab immigrant population, with some stuff from our (former) Jugoslavic immigrant population thrown in for good measure.
I've lived in shit areas and nice areas, and I back when I was a teenager in one of the nice areas (after having been a kid in a shit one) I remember these 100% Swedish guys I'd known for years suddenly develop an "orten" accent and start breaking the glass in the bus stops shelters or spraying goddamn goofball-ass tags in them. Like everybody doesn't know where they live or where they grew up.
Fucking social class LARPers. At least actual LARPers do it out in the woods where you don't have to see them.
Bang on the money man, we see it in Ireland but always shortly after the UK and with some uk twist.
I heard some 12 year old white kid say "I did, inshallah I did, I swear" to his friend. Part of me thinks he ain't Muslim
https://i.redd.it/rvyew019ox6g1.gif
I don’t even know if I got the time though
Brah you don’t know me
Have you taken out the groceries
The school have food
Yeah you know what I mean
Depends on the time you know what I mean. I gotta go do shit later before tonight
Bro you pissing me off you asking everything even though like it ain’t all that hard to know.
Know one talks like this besides people who think it makes them look cool
Im so glad someone was able to translate this for me. You even made me look back at the post when you said “know one talks like this” because I thought I was part of the text message thread.
"Maybe. I'm busy."
Shorter than the original yet conveys the same sentiment.
For the last sentence it's actually "you asking me every time, every day, like it ain't all that hard to know"
[removed]
I had to read his texts like three times and still gave up. That’s not slang, that’s just vibes and half-words. At some point you’re not old, he’s just being incomprehensible on purpose.
I thought it was on purpose to piss me off at first too, but when I finally confronted him about it he freaked out like crazy over it and kept talking smt about swag and trends 😭 saying I’m ruining his aura or something it was crazy
Edit : soooo many people are coming at me because I use abbreviations too lol. But in my defense, the ones I use are older than I am & I like to get my word out fast / type fast hence the abbreviations :) but I am noooo where near as bad as my brother, quit trying to gaslight me into thinking I’ve caught the slang flu 😓 and I promise you all, I bet you’ve found yourself using some of the slangs I use too, ie : omw, yk, smt, etc. but come on….nobody is texting like my little brother is
Edit 2 : damn you guys are ruthless lol, all up in my DMs giving me threats because I use smt instead of something. So there; I’ve corrected it 🤗🤗
Save these texts. Show them to him when he's older.... He may die of embarassment however, so there is a risk to be taken into consideration.
Either way kudos to your patience, I would have given up in the first slide and told him to either learn at least elementary school level of language or to keep quiet...
For his wedding...
Even better!
fully brain washed good lord🤦🏻
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I recommend a lobotomy
I think he already has one.
Could it be that he actually does not know how to spell things. So resorts to this "slang" to hide it?
No I promise you, he’s perfectly fine with the English language. Until my parents gave him a phone and he picked up these new slangs from his friends. He thinks he’s some kind of Shakespeare now I swear. He’s perfectly fine tho I assure u 😹
I feel like every generation feels this way with how the next generation speaks. I know people that would have issue with your use of “srs” “smt” “ur” “tho” or “fr”. Maybe it just gets worse and worse as it goes and we keep abbreviating everything.
H17 H1M W17H 4 F3W 0F 7H353
0r m@yB3 @ f3× 0f 7h353, !f y0v w!11
Just tell him:
My dear fellow, would you be so kind as to afford that cumbersome, malodorous receptacle its necessary, if ignoble, transfer? Consider it a deft little maneuver, a small, yet significant, contribution to the aesthetics of our shared domain. A brief, bracing sortie before we return to matters of truly elegant consequence.
It is impossible to read this in a non-pretentious, non-british voice. Even in my head.
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TF happened?
Just 3 hours ago my daughter, similar age, was kinda bragging she was the smartest kid in her class. Then she clarified that she doesn't think she's a genius or anything, it's just that most of the other kinds, ESPECIALLY the boys, are just really dumb. They talk like this, and as a Canadian, glorify US 'hood culture'. It's very sad.
Canadian as well, and this is my nephews right now 🙄 I won't respond until they text actual words I can understand.
So I get 6 increasingly frustrated texts of "ey nt cmn br" and then an annoyed "hey auntie mum wants to know if ur coming to brunch" lololol
I hate calling, but if that was the nonsense reponse I got from my lad I would be calling him. On speaker phone.
This isn't slang, it's illiteracy.
I cannot fathom people who text like this. My generation invented texting and I've always texted in complete sentences.
Is he on a flip phone with a prepaid character limit? What did poor Qwerty do to deserve this?
a 13 year old is not gen z, that’s a gen alpha and this rly shows LMFAO. what the actual fuck
well flip phones are back. might as well use t9... had better conversations on text via the number pad than this kid has on a full keyboard. and im not even that old
If my kid text me like this, im taking their phone. Fck it
As someone who has a 14 year old brother, I can confirm everyday is a stroke day when it comes to attempts to have conversations.
Damn this makes me feel old and I’m only 32 😔
Damn, your brother's somehow turned mumble rap into a written dialect lol
Autocorrect is having stroke.