She’s obviously some kind of zombie/ cannibal/ necromancer, since she carries a child’s torso around with her at all times (on which to perform dark experiments such as growing a spare pair of breasts)…
This writing is so odd that, forgetting to look at the subredddit name, I thought it was a puzzle. I was looking at the lighter colored dots and trying to figure out the name of the celestial body hidden in the text.
One thing that strikes me is how often these badly written women (or in far too many cases, like this one, girls) are found in prose that's also badly written.
Dear u/SilkieBug, the readers agree, this man has written a woman badly!
Ok that one was completely unexpected
"Uh huh, ok, telescope... protection from downpour... ok, oiling... hair-fine mechanisms... ok but where is the badly written- what the fuck"
Ok, you didn't need to point out her boobs that's weir....A CHILDS WHAT?!?
“He pointed at a female (who had some boobs by the way).”
Exactly my thoughts process as well
Same
Why do we need to know that her breasts are budding? Couldn't you just write something like "she was 11"?
Yeah like it's honestly only relevant if the character herself is noticing them and even then you have to ask why you're writing it. This is just...oy
Not only is this a good example of a man writing a woman, it’s a great example of piss-poor writing. Does the girl have a child with budding breasts?
She’s obviously some kind of zombie/ cannibal/ necromancer, since she carries a child’s torso around with her at all times (on which to perform dark experiments such as growing a spare pair of breasts)…
This writing is so odd that, forgetting to look at the subredddit name, I thought it was a puzzle. I was looking at the lighter colored dots and trying to figure out the name of the celestial body hidden in the text.
A celestial body with budding breasts, apparently.
Now I’m picturing a star with literal tit-buds sticking out of it at random spots. 🤣
This is why we need to teach sentence diagramming.
This is why Thog the Barbarian Literary Critic is a thing.
Rare example of "you know what, maybe this time just tell and don't worry about showing"
That was so out of nowhere! And completely unnecessary too!
The fuck is wrong with you Ian?
Come on wtf dude
... If the first thing you do after seeing a child is looking at their breasts you should see a professional. God that's disgusting as fuck
This one is really sick. Is that what men actually see when they look at an 11 year old? I see a baby!
Men? No, generally not, I'd say.
Now, Ian on the other hand...
Such a creep
And all he had to do was to end the sentence at "the front row" and it would have been completely fine, but no, he just had to continue...
The fucking what, mate?
you could have just told us that she had red hair or was wearing overalls or something
https://preview.redd.it/db3cpmnxf75g1.jpeg?width=431&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae9187125427eaf6b5bd89ed3e8f2d32319ede4b
why the need to jumpscare the reader with character's sudden hyperfocus on a child's breasts, dear god!
Did his stylus make her grow boobs? Wtf is this?
That was how I read it
The worst titty fairy ever
Ew, gross 🤮
So the girl has a child with budding breasts on their torso.
The writing isn't just creepy but shitty, too.
I feel like an isekai protagonist, and this author's creepiness just hit me like a truck.
I feel like December Holiday, and this author's creepiness just hit me like a truck.
"Child's torso"
It was going fine, and then it just lost the plot so badly it might as well have been an mst3k movie
the fuck
One thing that strikes me is how often these badly written women (or in far too many cases, like this one, girls) are found in prose that's also badly written.
Side note, I love using this font so much. Always opt for it when it’s offered.
Is that font for dyslexia? I have it too.
Yes! I have headaches when reading without it.
legit jumpscare, wtaf
https://preview.redd.it/vak4tg3u0l5g1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=888ff724f3e42386065d25873f2f7b9a75c85fdb
Reminds me of Community: “Yes, you, in the boobs.”
At least in context the character was an adult and the guy was meant to be a terrible teacher
I remember the men who looked at me like that when I was 11
Out of interest, what font is it? It's bottom-heavy, is that to aid readability?
OpenDyslexic, I use the Calibre program to format ebooks with it.
Christ on a bike, that’s nasty. Fucking PDFs can’t help but tell on themselves 🤢
jail, straight to jail
Stop budding in class!
What do telescopes have to do with women? Right a telescope kink?
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I'm currently awaiting an agent's response to an R&R I submitted, I promise my female protag & deuterag aren't described like this...
I'm right-leaning, but even I don't write like this. I'll never understand what drives people to write a sentence like that.
Especially about a child, what the actual fuck