Hey people. I guess I’m coming here because there’s not many people in my immediate circle I can discuss this with openly since I’m a bit isolated and don’t know many people irl who make music, and kinda wanna get a sense of where in my attitude or mentality I’m a little bit off base here.
I’ve been making hip hop on the side for the past 8-9 years, starting off as a little passion project/hobby before getting it into my head that a part of me wanted to do something more serious with this.
I spent a lot of time on it, released a lot, promoted what I could with a modest budget and I guess after all the time and money invested, I’m sort of feeling disappointed. I know a lot of you will say to me that if it were a passion or if you loved the music, then hey, that’s what it’s all about. I agree. The pursuit, the challenge, the attempt to craft songs which were uniquely my own and in my own voice using my own perspectives was great and I don’t really regret that. I guess what I’m now struggling with, is this realization that I sort of built this hope, this ideal that I’d achieve something, if not at least success in the traditional sense, I’d at least build a modest fan base, get to know some other artists somehow, collab or work on things with either other rappers or producers, all that stuff, but now starting to see that you know, after nine years, none of that materialized.
I think a lot of that is due to my own sense of tunnel vision, my lack of putting myself out there and the fear that I’m just not a good enough rapper/artist, but I guess what I’m really getting at is, at what stage do you sit down, reflect on either a) what were you hoping to get out of this and b) what are you still hoping to get out of this, and whether there’s any defined time or moment where you should either give it a break or give it a rest?
I feel I’ve rambled on here but I guess I’m just in a place where I’ve been making hip hop for a while, and I’m not sure when the goal posts moved but now that they have, how do you go back to having fun with it instead of relying on some unpredictable external factor to determine whether you’re good or not, or even what you’re doing it for?
If this doesn’t belong here feel free to delete. Just figured I’d throw this out there in case anybody in a similar position or was once in the same boat.
*edit: just wanna say thanks to all who replied. I appreciate each response and it helped just see some different thoughts and perspectives. Wishing you all the success you seek be it in this or in other pursuits :)
I took a few years off from making music. Major slump. I was depressed. Developed some toxic hobbies. Wasn't acting right. Most of my life was centered around music, and I dropped it on a dime.
I had a friend over one night, and we talked about starting up again. It was the best thing I've done for myself. I understand that the grind can cost a lot. I've spent almost $2k on my upcoming EP. I know for a fact that I am not making that money back. But the process of making it. The shows I go to when I promote it. The interactions I have with local artists make it worth it.
The best music I ever made only happened because that one friend got me back into it. I'm going to try to be that friend for you. Get back to work. It makes you happy. You have the skill and experience. Why waste that? Painters keep painting. Dancers keep dancing. Sculptures keep sculpting. So keep making music.
I think what really helped me move the needle with my music was I started treating it like a business, studies algorithms, attended conferences, networked at open mics which eventually led to real shows and then networked there which eventually led to my own headlining shows. It’s not up to chance, there is a formula to this and it just takes consistency and time. I understand what its like to feel stagnant and unfulfilled with music, but once i switched my mentality from “Artist” to “A Business” I started making moves, Im still not where I want to be but im 100% confident im on the right track and I think you can do it to brother. Keep your head up!
If you want to connect with other artists go to artist events. Rent time in local studios and see who you run into. There should likely be open mic events at the very least.
I’d been inactive from producing for a while and just happened to run into these types of events. One was a friend of a friend’s studio where he had artists performing, one more recently was the cymatics producers event, I got to meet a good handful of people just being there.
Yea that sounds doable. I get a mad dose of anxiety that turned a couple of attendances at similar events into an early exit but maybe that’s part of the problem lol
Push yourself man. I struggle with the same but for ed myself to open for Montana of 300 a few years back, and I had the audience clapping abd being interactive while everyone else just taped on stage and did some crazy shit. Just give it your all man, and it will be worth it
Yeah man just stick through it. You likely won’t even have to approach people, there’ll always be people coming to you at some point too
Is there a place where u can find all these events or do you have to search all across the internet?
Not that I know of, I would probably look at open mics to begin with that’s usually at like bars. Though they won’t typically be centered on hip hop, for that it’s probably best to find some source for your local hip hop community scene.
Come to think of it that could be a good idea to start a website for that!
I have tried to quit and it just isn't possible. I always feen to pick up the pen. So I keep making shit. It is just something I do. It doesn't matter what comes of it.
Yea this is pretty much how I am too. Even though sometimes the joy is sapped whenever I place too high an expectation on a release, every time I try to drop the music making, I find myself right back at it in a matter of days or weeks
All the time. One should always take a free moment to evaluate themselves and their situation.
Whenever. That's a personal decision. It's different for everyone. Some never stop. Some take breaks. Some quit outright.
Have fun making music you like. It's that simple. I can't tell you how to not have expectations. Just don't.
Well, if we assume the music is good (and I have no idea if it is), then it's a marketing issue.
You can either:
A) Spend a huge amount of time figuring that side of things for yourself.
B) Navigate the fun waters of finding someone you trust to make/direct the content, run ads/sponsorships, and pitch.
C) Be satisfied that you made some good music but didn't hit your goals in regards to a fan base.
D) Get extremely lucky.
Bro, this was too relatable. I‘ve really struggled to find other local rappers/ artists who have the same kind of mindset I have. I really wanted to have rapper/ producer friends because a) we both would share an extreme love for something that we can do together b) we can help each other out with filming content (mainly short form but I’d really like to make a music video with a bunch of friends) and it doesn’t seem like that’s possible. As you said, I don’t really put myself out there, I do online like Reddit and discord but I don’t really go outside 😂😂 but idk where I would go. Plus I live in Coventry in the UK and it feels like nothing happens here.
I also really want to pursue music to a professional level. I don’t want to be mainstream but I’d love to be able to have like 300k monthly listeners and have a loyal fanbase who I feel connected to, that would be a dream.
Local real life audience will be your ticket. Online will follow after that
How good are you?
There is such a thing as outpacing your local comp and becoming complacent, especially if you've already reached the point of music paying for your whole life.
If you're better than everyone local, you may need to move. Be aware that may also mean you have to work a job again, but it's also the best way to measure yourself against better comp.
My goal is to leave a solid body of work that I’m proud of behind when I inevitably die.
Your story is a spitting image of mine brother. I'd been rapping, writing and recording for a decade. I did nearly all of my music sharing online. Did plenty of collabs and made lifelong friends, even with a couple folks I met out here in this sub. I let my fears and insecurities about my abilities keep me from putting myself out there locally. The few friends in my circle who listened to hip hop all told me I was good, but none of them would regularly bump and repeat my shit. The self doubt and realizations that came from it fucked my head up good. I took several on and off hiatuses from making music.
I settled on the idea that my style is just outdated, that my music just wasn't good enough. That I was just making music I enjoyed because I enjoyed doing it. Then I started having a couple kids. Between the dead end job I was working and parenting responsibilities, my partner got on me a little. I'd spent so much on a hobby that saw no returns and ate into our cashflow.
Damn nearly hung it all up for good. Pandemic hit and the entire world felt like it was ending. I said fuck it and tried something I thought I'd never do, I tried listing my emcee skills on a freelancer site called Fiverr. I had used it a couple times before to buy artwork and mixing services. Said "why not list myself as a ghostwriter, rapper and teacher".
To my mindblown surprise, it took off massively. Suddenly I hit top 5% in freelance creators, made over 40k in lifetime earnings having written or recorded a good 500 verses for folks on there looking for a freelance rapper to slot into their own music projects. Every month I'm finding songs on streams where someone put my vocals on there without me knowing. I now know my worth. I may not be a renowned artist, but I'm damn talented at rapping and worth a lot more than I realized. I don't do freebie collabs anymore. What I earn from this is not nearly enough to live off, but its a damn good side hustle. I am hella satisfied with that.
Some would call me a sell out, but I found a lane that made music a worthwhile endeavor for me. 90+% of folks who do bedroom rap don't earn a cent from it, I'm not one of then. I now teach rapping via virtual calls with upwards of 3 active students at a time. I also still make uncomissioned music under my artist name just for me and likely forever will. The benefits from freelancing have also been a huge boon because I'm being paid to experiment and master my rapping skills through these hundreds of comission jobs I've done. It's also made me a handful of industry connections for off site work as well. There is a lane out there for everyone, don't be afraid to take risks brother. Just takes a single unexpected opportunity to make it all worthwhile.
Thanks for sharing your story as I’m sick of people who waver between should they do it for money or love as life is short and the former is the biggest myth in music business/industry
You should do it as long as you live it. If that changes is the only time you should consider making changes. What defines success for you? Money, fame? For some it's reaching one more person than when they started. You have to find your own point of demarcation for your own reasons.
hey bro im so sorry your feeling this way, but the other day i read a book called the dream giver. im not asking you to read it but if this is really your big dream or you feel or felt this is gods plan for you then pursue your dream. i have been going through this same thing but i have also realized motivation is nothing without discipline. i really hope you can find what's right for you and start feeling better.