Henlo frens. Is Ricky. Ricky is in bad situations, NOT his fault. Me is da red one in front, the big floofers are my sister and brudder. Mommy calls them “huskies,” but she just call me “shithed”. That first issue.

So it all started yesterdays, in da morneen. Mommy said big brudder Niko has “spicy tummy” but we run out of spicy tummy food, so she cook big brudder special foods wif rice and yummy cow parts until special spicy tummy foods come back. Well, I is cow dog, so cows is my favorite thing for eating, like, evers. Mommy knows dis.

Well mommy is cooking for big brudder and she takes BIG GIANT HUMONGO piece of cow out of freezer, almost big as me!! I get so escited I is standing right behind her, but she tells me it’s for brudder. Well den mommy needs to go to store, and she don’t take any of us wif her! She shud know dats very illegal. So while she’s at store, I get up on counter to inspect big cow part, because inspecting da cows is my job after alls. Well I get excited about da cows part, and I think, just one taste! Make sure it not spicy for brudders special tummy foods. I eat just a little bit, but I so hungry even after breakfast that I just keep nibbling, in case other parts are spicy too!

Well mommy comes home, and she says “Ricky, what da hell!! You eats half of da cow!” She gets really mad wif me and I try to do my biggest smile to make her forget, but she kicks me out of da kitchen!! My kitchen!!!! So den, turns out da cow part WAS spicy, because I have spicy tummy’s all night and I have to go outside so many times. I is SO tired today from all da pooping.

Den I wake up dis morning because dad leave early for workies, and before mom waked up, I find treat stash hiding in bag in hanging place that I am not allowed. But mom is sleep, so I know she won’t mind. I shud mention, mom jus had surgeries, so she sleep a LOT dese last few days. Been very tough on poor Ricky because he need lot of mom time, so da extra treats help.

Mom woked up, and she mad again! And now every time I go to door to poop, she grumble and groan. She lucky I no poop in da house!! Den, for breakfast dis morning, she give me less foods! Says my tummy is full of treatos and cow and need to slows down.

Anyway, I need to do BIG soos. One for mom sleeping too much, one for spicy cow parts, one for less foods at breakfast, and one for moms grumbling! AND I needs reward for not pooping in da house! Now dad’s is saying maybe I go back in my kennels when pawrents aren’t around.

One last thing- I need super extra good best pawyer, because mommy is in something called lawyer schools and she know all da fancy hooman pawyer tricks. Help friens!