Hi. My name is Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All. Mom says it's a good strong name and she laughs when she says it. I don't know what the funny is.

Anyway. She keeps bringing other dogs in the house. She says they are something called fosters. I don't know why she says that when they all have different names.

She just brought this brown and white turd in my house. She's never brought one this big in before. He takes up room on my couch and tries to get in bed with me and Mom.

Can I sue for extra treats because of a big brown and white turd?

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  • Hi there! Is Russ! I am foster too, so I explain.

    Sometimes something bad happens to your human, or sometimes you're with a human who isn't the right human, so you have to apply for a New Human. This is important because otherwise no one will feed you. So when they're helping you find the New Human, you can either hang out with a temporary human (that's called foster) or you have to go to the Loud Cage Place which is very scary and crowded and loud and there's not enough snuggles and it smells like too many other dogs.

    So your mom is actually being really really nice to respect brown and white dog's right to not be in the Loud Cage Place!

    I think instead of sue, you try to reach settlement with other dog and Mom. Can you get more play time or walkies now that there are two of you? Perhaps Mom needs to buy a bigger couch? Can the brown and white dog distract Mom while you steal human food? Good pawyers are expensive, so it's important to try other avenues first, such as seeing if brown and white dog might become a better houseguest over time.

    parent

    This is really good advices! Russ you is a smart pawyer. Should charge 300 treatos per hour miniminiminum. But I see you help storm pro bone-o.

    parent root

    Before I was Detective Piglet, I lived at the loud scary place. It was loud and scary!

    parent root

    This is a Pixar film waiting to be produced. 😁

    parent root
  • parent

  • Dear Storm,

    Colette here from A,E & C’s San Francisco office. Your mom does very good girl ting. She help doggos with no home find home. She haz very good dog karma (which is the best kind). You get vicarious karma for making extra temporary dogs welcome. You very good girl too, except don’t need karma because doggos already enlightened.

    You are due additional compessayshun tho. You get dinner bowl first and extra treatos and love. Big brown and white brother soon be on his way to his new home.

    parent

  • Hi fren- Me Chesney. I only a babeee but I wuz a foster once. My foster mama taked care of me and my brudders n sistas when our bad bad hooman left us in a place called a ditch when we were teeny and tiny. Foster mama maded sure we grew big n strong and den we goed to da rescue (loud cagey place) to meet our new mamas.
    My new permanent mama sez dat foster mama did a gud job teaching me to be a very gud boi. And now I have my very own home. Foster mamas in gud. Dis picture of me in my house on da couch

    https://preview.redd.it/2luku77buf7g1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4fddac89e27f195a2cd00acc80a47dd78d8271e

    parent

  • I Barry Man-he's-Low would lile to conuslt, but I would need to see more (pic) evidences of brown turd doing all things with you. Maybe turd is playtime friendo and couch warmers. Maybe brown dog is good at nose boops!

    More evidences please. And always more treatos

    parent
    parent root

    Lucky its just the two of you now! What a nice relaxing space you are sharing!

    parent root

  • Dis what you do: sniff the butt to know what the y been eating, do a bow and place chase? You're it!

    parent

  • Ansel former foster here. Your mawmy is good hooman for helping Woofie. But she should have explained it more better and given you lots of cheeses because you were gonna have lots of changes in your life. You can be Woofie’s foster sibling. I bet you can teach him lots of things about how to be a good boi so he can find a good furever home. You can also teach him to help you steal treatos and hooman food. Then he can teach another doggo some day. This is the way of our ancestors. You might even start to like the brown and white turd and could even miss him gasp when he leaves.

    parent

  • Stormageddon Friend! I am Nacho, and I was Foster. My Foster Family help me learn how to House and how to Home because I spent too much time in lonely loud cage place! They help me be ready for when Universe say “Nacho! We find you a Forever Mami and Forever Dog-Brother and Dog-Auntie!” Now I live with Forever Family, and my Foster Family help me be Good Boy!

    Stormageddon Friend, is important work to be Foster Family, but is also important that your Mami not forget you! Do her a biiiigg snuggle and give her Big Eyes so she give you extra snack and extra skritchies. And help your Foster Friends learn how to be Good, and also how to manipulate for snack, hahahahaha

    parent

  • You has very clever name.

    parent

  • Ok hear me out my fren, you can soo but make sure you get settlement for da brown turd. He haz no family and no momma so your momma iz being nice so da brown turd doezn’t hab to sleep outside in da cold.

    parent

  • 🤣 your mother loves Dr. Who. Be very careful if she ever brings home a dog named Rose Tyler! 🤣

    So I am a feline pawyer but your post got my attention. Now during these cold months some cats and doggos have no castle or human staff/family. They are extra sad. So your meowmy is trying to help them find homes by letting them temporarily stay in your castle. I suggest you suu for: you always get fed first, extra belly rubs, the bedroom is yours alone, a giant doggo bone, daily rawhide chews or peanut butter or chicken jerky, 3 extra toys and a promise that no doggo is adopted unless you approve first. That doggo would have to be your bff to even consider adopting them!

    ~ Jackie Vin, Slayer of lizards 🦎 Pawyer

    https://preview.redd.it/5wsxybl8li7g1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b2f58c0dc6fb576619c6c61b4adb4fdaf2cec30

    parent

    She does love Dr. Who. I had a cat sister named Gallifrey who has passed and I currently have a cat sister named Madam Vastra.

    Mom always feeds me first. She says Woofie has to eat in the foster room until she knows it's okay to have him out at the same time with food around. I'm fine with that cause I would be very mad if he tried to take my food.

    parent root

    The giant doggo bone is real. Last year meowmy bought Nana’s dogs a pig femur each. This year they each got a bag of raw hide free bone snacks. So suu for a giant bone.

    😈 Us felines seek vengeance like horking in the shoe or peeing on their pillow. Plus we like to hide the phone or the remote. Maybe try one of those if your meowmy’s fosters are bugging you too much? I don’t know what the doggo version of catnip with silvervine is but make sure you have plenty available this crispmouse season.

    parent root

  • Your momma is being a momma to other doggos. I no like at first, but I learn to share my momma with my little sister, a husky. We likes to play and cuddle when momma and daddy are at work! Siblings is fun

    parent

  • Sue for extra treats, yes but only if the new 'turd' pays couch rent in belly rubs

    parent

  • I love your mom’s interest in palmistry!

    Also:

    You’re all very good dogs.

    parent

    Mom says those are something called heirlooms. The woman that helped raise my great grandfather was on the carnival circuit to support all her children.

    parent root

    I LOVE THAT STORY!Tell your mom I love her heirlooms even more now, and I also love her Stormaggedon, and I love her spotted brown turd foster too.

    parent root