Quentin Jammer, professional drinker and NFL Cornerback

Genevieve Wolff jurveston, wife of billionaire venture capitalist and psychedelic extraordinaire

Chris Moneymaker, professional poker player. And I’m good, I’m so good it’s scary, no one can beat me, I’m unbeatable. Because I cheat, I’m an incredible at cheating.

Anita Mann- Dancer, Muppet Choreographer, Topless Show Producer and heir to the Kohl’s Fortune

Forrest Galante, adventurer and hippo hunter employed by the country of Colombia

Jordan matter: photographer and family youtuber that kinda creeps some people out

Harrison Whitaker | Jeopardy Champion and competitive stamp licker

Burt Meyer, toy inventor. My inventions were inspired by my childhood growing up near a nuclear plant. Every Saturday morning I would root for Tom to catch Jerry.

Jim Bob Cooter, offensive coordinator for the Colts and reformed burglar. I used to sneak into houses now I sneak into the end zone.

Dr Qasim butt, my second maternal older cousin twice removed is a fan of Sinbad but that name was already taken by my paternal cousin in law thrice removed

Friedensreich Hundertwasser; designer of gay friendly day spas

Dr. John Cooper Clarke, punk poet. I was the coolest man alive from 1978 to 1979, and yeah maybe Shakespeare was a better poet but how many British panel shows was he on?

Marc Andreessen, actual egg and conehead cosplayer. I like to rub my hands menacingly.

Mike Jones, golden toilet thief. They say I’m the right hand man, but I’m a leftie. I call it “taking an America” every time I drop a deuce.

Sir my name is Honoré De Balzac and I am a hot yoga instructor with the tightest stretch pants in Langley.

Mark Pondelick - vacuum toilet engineer. Got the idea when I was a Kirby salesman and would take offensive deuces in client homes. Didn’t sell a single vacuum. Stole lots of fancy hand soaps.

Ferdinand I of Austria, Emperor of Austria, King of Hungary, Croatia and Bohemia (as Ferdinand V), King of Lombardy–Venetia and holder of other lesser titles, such as Lover of Emperor Zing

Joseph Carl Robnett Licklider AKA "Lick", you might know me from my work in psychology or for inventing the internet.

Dargan Ware, writer, lawyer, President of the Alabama Poetry Society, Jeopardy champion, and in the winter I can be found at the local mall being Santa asking kids about Emily Dickinson.

Don Gorske - Been eatin’ 3 Big Macs a day for 53 years. Done everything except make love to ‘em. Wait, is that legal in Wisconsin? Brb, Big Mac run.

Ryan Wedding. 2002 Canadian Olympic Snowboarder turned international drug lord. He traded one career dealing with snow to one dealing snow.

Bobby Kwak - Restaurant owner, sketchy unlicensed doctor, duck fetish subreddit mod

Dick Tiddy: Golf entrepreneur and explorer of holes in and off the rough

Taylor Humphrey, professional baby namer and doula. I can’t guarantee it’s a good name. Read the fine print.

The name is Max Gay. Save your jokes, I’ve heard them all before. Mostly from the men I sleep with