I think it’s a little different for us, in that we often forget how nice being alone is and start having grass is greener feelings and then maybe accept an invite and go hang out with people and re realize it fucking sucks and go back into our cave for an extended amount of time
This was me over the holidays. I forced myself to say yes to things and then burnt the hell out. Then I asked myself, "Am I doing this because I think I'm supposed to or because I like it?"
I always end on the former. So I balanced it by doing absolutely nothing with no one over winter break and it was so restorative I felt like I went to a week long spa retreat.
Exactly... for me I would need a vacation from my vacation because my Se has become super weak. I am trying to work on it but so far i havr been failing
This was me. I was with my wife with her family for two weeks, I kind of had to say yes to everything. I was really happy how well I was able to show up and be social.
We flew back and a couple days after I had a day off and my entire immune system crashed. Felt completely exhausted and honestly it's taken me like 5 days to kind of come back up to normal. My sister is autistic and social events can completely zap her for days. I'm not quite to that level, but I totally get it.
I grew so tired of family meetings I have literally bailed on them before. I never even eat with others, I'm always locked in my bedroom. Safe to say my family isn't great but that's another long story. Holidays are for yourself, I don't like meeting people I don't want to meet or openly find abrasive.
If I'm not 100% in the mood to go out and be social, I stay home. I don't force it because every time I regret it and would have been happier staying home. The opposite of fomo I guess.
INFJ male here, always get INTJ on tests but cognitive functions wise relate more to Fe-Ti, this is basically my monthly experience when I decide to hang out with friends.
I do not feel lonely when I’m alone but I do feel lonely when I’m with people. It’s always a feeling of there’s a thin layer of veil or see through glass that enables people and me to see each other. Regardless, I can never connect with them. Except for a few times. And that’s okay. It’s humbling.
Fuck yes! I have a similar experience... especially with people in general... like i am watching my life in 3rd person view or like living my life looking through a glass... i hate it. I cant help myself. I have come to terms with it.
I'm both, since I am ambiverted. Connecting with people is so hard as an adult. I barely had 2-3 ftiends over the years that understood some aspects about my life. Others were dealbreakers: trauma reminders or anxious attachment
Solitude is not a painful thing, it's the best thing life can offer. My own mind is a beautiful place I love to spend time in. If life gives me solitude I am happy, not lonely.
Some men think it's a kind of curse to threaten a woman with "you'll die alone with only a cat for company" and I think " Sounds great, except I would make certain my cat has a good home before that. Who wants to die in a crowd anyway?"
Lol. Girl successful cat mama here 🫰🏼 but i don't mean it in terms of people or crowds... i guess i mean it in terms of connection... my demon Si have been eating at me recently I feel very disassociated with myself and my life and it is also causing my Se to crash and for me to overlook my Ni... i dunno how to explain it... it is like... i feel the sole characteristics that made me me are gone... not because I wanted it to... i am trying to hold on to myself or my strength but i feel like i am holding sand... the harder I hold the faster it's getting away...
Loneliness is a cue that your social needs are not met. The balancing act of introversion is to maintain healthy connections while still having a lot of solitude for yourself.
This is not an INTJ problem. At the end of the day we are social animals and we crave being seen, understood and accepted. Of course the amount of socializing will vary from person to person.
I somewhat perfected the way I socialize. Of course now I have my wife so it’s a bit easier, but when I was single I would have a very large shallow network of friends related to hobbies and places. This way I didn’t have to have plans when I wanted to socialize, because I hate planned meetings. I never know how I will feel that day.
When I feel like socializing I just go to cafes I frequent or concerts. Those are hybrid places as in you can just do your things without socializing and if you feel like it you can strike a chat with other frequents/strangers.
Of course I also have close friends, but we see each other like once every two months. This way I don’t get tired of them and we have enough time for something new and interesting to happen in our lives.
Wow. You are too healthy for this 😂
I dunno... i have been bullied a lot growing up... i did try to foster adult friendships... but one way or another they led to bad endings... and in the end of the day I cared a lot more... gave a lot more than others willing to give back... so 🤷🏻♀️
I am healthy, because I had traumatic childhood and it was do or die for me. I am still here which means I didn’t die although I tried to take my own life twice as a teenager.
I think the biggest hurdle for me was to realize that I do deserve nice things in life and it’s up to me to make that happen. We live in wonderful times where you can almost learn everything for free if you have access to the internet.
Caring more than others will breed resentment. I care only about myself and my wife. I don’t need to save the world and make everyone happy. People are nice addition in my life and once a relationship doesn’t serve my happiness and goals I will drop it. I never understood people who have life long friendship. Maybe it’s just not for me. I accepted a long time ago that people come and go.
It may sound nihilistic and egoistic, but I am happy and hurt no one so who cares?
Lowkey. More or less, my loneliness is more emotional, in not living the experiences I would like with "others" and/or loved ones. I don't really like physical contact, but I don't reject it; it only arises when there is a connection.
It's true for me, I see people have easier time forming connections and also just bond... it is something i struggle with, i am not even antisocial or shy lol... but awkward... perhaps
I think hmmm i wanna say i struggle with loneliness but I honestly i have come to realize I really dont socialize as much as i think i do... or perhaps as much as the general average.
I love Pink's song Leave Me Alone, I'm Lonely. It definitely describes my relationship with my hubby. But this is very accurate. I want friends but I don't want to make friends.
Honestly, I think most of us barely conceive of people reaching us, just the idea that we’re putting in front of us, so we can orbit around that for a while. When the hand comes, it can be like “…that’s… uh… that’s not what we were talking about a second ago…”
But not because I'm a jerk, it's more because there are a lot of fake and superficial people here in Brazil. I confess that it's a little difficult to make friends with people who aren't like that here, or maybe I'm not finding the right place to find those people.
This is more like stereotype. In reality, it is more like I just enjoy doing a many activities that mostly able to be done alone (watch stuffs, play games, research,…). But I don’t hate socializing, it just I prefer to be able to do these activity, regardless alone or with other people.
I do enjoy my solitude but every now and then I feel lonely. So I reach out to my online friend only to be exhausted after a few hours. So I don't reach out again for weeks and the routine continues.
They will not put in the work to be in a romantic intimate relationship, only their ego stroked and sex. Will rage at you if you deny them their desires. Pricks. Do you realise how painful it has been to maintain dignity and decency while starving for connection? No you don’t. The decade that should be happiest and fulfilling has been loneliest period in my life. It sucks that I can only come across morons.
Nah I prefer to be alone 😂 humans are annoying anyway.
I think it’s an INxJ thing but I wouldn’t be surprised if it were just an introvert thing as a whole. We hide away in our little cove come out of hiding then regret our life chooses and return to the cave we call home.
I think that the sentiment expressed in those four panels is true, up to a point. I prefer to be left alone, in peace and solitude, than to deal with people and their selfish and illogical ways. Think of it this way: you can only miss what you have the capacity to hold. The ache of loneliness is proof of your immense capacity for love, companionship, and shared experience. It's not a deficit; it's evidence of your fullness. The task becomes not just to fill the capacity with anyone, but to find worthy vessels for it. Starting with oneself.
That's why i only make online friends. No one gets close to me but K get to talk. When my bro said to my family my sis "is not alone but feel lonely" so she needs time with us i thought to myself wtf is that shet
I’ve come to the conclusion that extroverts just genuinely seem to enjoy and revel in being surrounded by people. It’s like their battery recharges and they get life energy from being around others, getting fed information and news, gossiping, comparing themselves, showing off. Instead, introverts are the complete opposite, it feels like others just drain from us at every interaction, and we need recovery time in-between XD
Also, solitude isn’t the same as loneliness. It can be very peaceful and deeply restorative
I’d have to say no, because we don’t need to be touched for us to have company. Just sit in the corner and watch me look at these blue prints for world domination 😂! And if you want to take part in my successful operation just wait for the action scene because I don’t need you messing up my plans. Only playing your role😊
I am not like this. I am married so I always enjoy the alone time. If I was single, this might be true. I don't know. I haven't been single in over 30 years.
Frame 3 is different for us.... We let the touch happen and then immediately regret it.
I know I have a habit of making attempts to be social and the second I'm out and about, I'll want to be back home. So, arguably the fourth frame might be more like "I hope this solitude never ends".... And then of course we cycle back to frame 1....
I think it’s a little different for us, in that we often forget how nice being alone is and start having grass is greener feelings and then maybe accept an invite and go hang out with people and re realize it fucking sucks and go back into our cave for an extended amount of time
This was me over the holidays. I forced myself to say yes to things and then burnt the hell out. Then I asked myself, "Am I doing this because I think I'm supposed to or because I like it?"
I always end on the former. So I balanced it by doing absolutely nothing with no one over winter break and it was so restorative I felt like I went to a week long spa retreat.
Exactly... for me I would need a vacation from my vacation because my Se has become super weak. I am trying to work on it but so far i havr been failing
This was me. I was with my wife with her family for two weeks, I kind of had to say yes to everything. I was really happy how well I was able to show up and be social.
We flew back and a couple days after I had a day off and my entire immune system crashed. Felt completely exhausted and honestly it's taken me like 5 days to kind of come back up to normal. My sister is autistic and social events can completely zap her for days. I'm not quite to that level, but I totally get it.
I grew so tired of family meetings I have literally bailed on them before. I never even eat with others, I'm always locked in my bedroom. Safe to say my family isn't great but that's another long story. Holidays are for yourself, I don't like meeting people I don't want to meet or openly find abrasive.
It may not necessarily suck? 1-1 or small groups especially.. but its still damn exhausting..
If I'm not 100% in the mood to go out and be social, I stay home. I don't force it because every time I regret it and would have been happier staying home. The opposite of fomo I guess.
For real 😭
INFJ male here, always get INTJ on tests but cognitive functions wise relate more to Fe-Ti, this is basically my monthly experience when I decide to hang out with friends.
I do not feel lonely when I’m alone but I do feel lonely when I’m with people. It’s always a feeling of there’s a thin layer of veil or see through glass that enables people and me to see each other. Regardless, I can never connect with them. Except for a few times. And that’s okay. It’s humbling.
Fuck yes! I have a similar experience... especially with people in general... like i am watching my life in 3rd person view or like living my life looking through a glass... i hate it. I cant help myself. I have come to terms with it.
Yep, alone in a crowd. Just the worst, most disassociating experience imaginable.
Exactly!
I'm both, since I am ambiverted. Connecting with people is so hard as an adult. I barely had 2-3 ftiends over the years that understood some aspects about my life. Others were dealbreakers: trauma reminders or anxious attachment
Yeah this is it. I feel the most lonely in a group of close friends because I realize I'll never have what they have or truly relate.
For me it feels more like a battery is draining very rapidly. So you may interact with me but only for a while.
I have the same struggle... if my mindset doesnt match i get drained real quick and then i need a longer time to recover.
No. Hell is people.
Solitude is not a painful thing, it's the best thing life can offer. My own mind is a beautiful place I love to spend time in. If life gives me solitude I am happy, not lonely.
Some men think it's a kind of curse to threaten a woman with "you'll die alone with only a cat for company" and I think " Sounds great, except I would make certain my cat has a good home before that. Who wants to die in a crowd anyway?"
Lol. Girl successful cat mama here 🫰🏼 but i don't mean it in terms of people or crowds... i guess i mean it in terms of connection... my demon Si have been eating at me recently I feel very disassociated with myself and my life and it is also causing my Se to crash and for me to overlook my Ni... i dunno how to explain it... it is like... i feel the sole characteristics that made me me are gone... not because I wanted it to... i am trying to hold on to myself or my strength but i feel like i am holding sand... the harder I hold the faster it's getting away...
God gave us animals so we would never have to be alone
Not really.
I like my alone time but I also like to have people around of they're not shallow
True but it is not easy to find people who are at your wavelength in irl.
Loneliness is a cue that your social needs are not met. The balancing act of introversion is to maintain healthy connections while still having a lot of solitude for yourself.
This is not an INTJ problem. At the end of the day we are social animals and we crave being seen, understood and accepted. Of course the amount of socializing will vary from person to person.
I somewhat perfected the way I socialize. Of course now I have my wife so it’s a bit easier, but when I was single I would have a very large shallow network of friends related to hobbies and places. This way I didn’t have to have plans when I wanted to socialize, because I hate planned meetings. I never know how I will feel that day.
When I feel like socializing I just go to cafes I frequent or concerts. Those are hybrid places as in you can just do your things without socializing and if you feel like it you can strike a chat with other frequents/strangers.
Of course I also have close friends, but we see each other like once every two months. This way I don’t get tired of them and we have enough time for something new and interesting to happen in our lives.
Wow. You are too healthy for this 😂 I dunno... i have been bullied a lot growing up... i did try to foster adult friendships... but one way or another they led to bad endings... and in the end of the day I cared a lot more... gave a lot more than others willing to give back... so 🤷🏻♀️
I am healthy, because I had traumatic childhood and it was do or die for me. I am still here which means I didn’t die although I tried to take my own life twice as a teenager.
I think the biggest hurdle for me was to realize that I do deserve nice things in life and it’s up to me to make that happen. We live in wonderful times where you can almost learn everything for free if you have access to the internet.
Caring more than others will breed resentment. I care only about myself and my wife. I don’t need to save the world and make everyone happy. People are nice addition in my life and once a relationship doesn’t serve my happiness and goals I will drop it. I never understood people who have life long friendship. Maybe it’s just not for me. I accepted a long time ago that people come and go.
It may sound nihilistic and egoistic, but I am happy and hurt no one so who cares?
Well you have your wife, you found the one. That sounds like sound reasoning to me.
Lowkey. More or less, my loneliness is more emotional, in not living the experiences I would like with "others" and/or loved ones. I don't really like physical contact, but I don't reject it; it only arises when there is a connection.
For me it is something that I have to actively focus and do... i get jumpy when people touch me..
I’m like that too
🫰🏼
It's probably different for everyone but somewhat relatable to me personally
It's true for me, I see people have easier time forming connections and also just bond... it is something i struggle with, i am not even antisocial or shy lol... but awkward... perhaps
it's not really a problem, just a matter of finding people who aren't irritating. or, it's a matter of learning to appreciate solitude.
I think hmmm i wanna say i struggle with loneliness but I honestly i have come to realize I really dont socialize as much as i think i do... or perhaps as much as the general average.
I love Pink's song Leave Me Alone, I'm Lonely. It definitely describes my relationship with my hubby. But this is very accurate. I want friends but I don't want to make friends.
I think it is wanting to have a level of understanding we never got... and unforturnately being smart enough to come with terms that we never will.
I don’t complain about it as if I’m not aware that I intentionally stay in solitude
I think INTJs look at the hand and go “EXPLAIN!”
Hmmm... perhaps... i think we curate such a perfect version of how we wanna be reached... anything rlse seems like falling short.
Honestly, I think most of us barely conceive of people reaching us, just the idea that we’re putting in front of us, so we can orbit around that for a while. When the hand comes, it can be like “…that’s… uh… that’s not what we were talking about a second ago…”
I don't relate. I ain't lonely. I appreciate my solitude a lot, i thrive in it.
Also, i don't have many friends, but the few i have are always there for me and vice-versa.
Plus i am in a happy relationship, so that's quite literally impossible to feel lonely in my case.
Good for you 🫰🏼
Thank you ! Hope you're alright as well. 😌
Hell naw!
I don’t feel lonely, rather misunderstood, but never lonely.
I am like this
But not because I'm a jerk, it's more because there are a lot of fake and superficial people here in Brazil. I confess that it's a little difficult to make friends with people who aren't like that here, or maybe I'm not finding the right place to find those people.
This is more like stereotype. In reality, it is more like I just enjoy doing a many activities that mostly able to be done alone (watch stuffs, play games, research,…). But I don’t hate socializing, it just I prefer to be able to do these activity, regardless alone or with other people.
Thats an INFJ problem.
You're not the only one, same goes for me.
I do enjoy my solitude but every now and then I feel lonely. So I reach out to my online friend only to be exhausted after a few hours. So I don't reach out again for weeks and the routine continues.
Thankfully she's an introvert too so she gets it.
As an INTP, it's so true.... 😂
True fellow INTP, true...
Not me. I'm more like the bear.
I do kinda see Ni doms as cat like tbh
https://preview.redd.it/59g7jf70szcg1.jpeg?width=1327&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e93c0611e3ba9a995ba1774de1139b26025b9ac
I am judging you
Wait for when you Se truly awakes, and you suddenly just want that petting and question it all.
Yep
Not for me, no.
Intj wants to be touched but left emotionally alone.
They will not put in the work to be in a romantic intimate relationship, only their ego stroked and sex. Will rage at you if you deny them their desires. Pricks. Do you realise how painful it has been to maintain dignity and decency while starving for connection? No you don’t. The decade that should be happiest and fulfilling has been loneliest period in my life. It sucks that I can only come across morons.
Lol it is literally the exact opposite for me.
my intj HATESSSS when i touch her, but also she doesn't mind touching me 🤷♀️ ig its personal preference
Nope, it's a "they can talk" comic
Nah I prefer to be alone 😂 humans are annoying anyway. I think it’s an INxJ thing but I wouldn’t be surprised if it were just an introvert thing as a whole. We hide away in our little cove come out of hiding then regret our life chooses and return to the cave we call home.
for me, the struggle is balancing my productivity and going out and meet people
In short, Yes for some of us.
We love control. When someone suggest us 'help' or company it can feel diminishing.
And some of us rather not let urselves meet with those feeling.
But It's not true for all INTJ's
Thats my opinion
Fi problems, really…
I think that the sentiment expressed in those four panels is true, up to a point. I prefer to be left alone, in peace and solitude, than to deal with people and their selfish and illogical ways. Think of it this way: you can only miss what you have the capacity to hold. The ache of loneliness is proof of your immense capacity for love, companionship, and shared experience. It's not a deficit; it's evidence of your fullness. The task becomes not just to fill the capacity with anyone, but to find worthy vessels for it. Starting with oneself.
I'm not lonely. I enjoy being alone.
That's why i only make online friends. No one gets close to me but K get to talk. When my bro said to my family my sis "is not alone but feel lonely" so she needs time with us i thought to myself wtf is that shet
It happens to me when people try to reach me out by themselfs. I belive they sre scammers or hostile.
I’m asocial so the only accurate frame is the bottom left. The other three would be me focusing on an interest.
https://preview.redd.it/qykgm47lrzcg1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b47c59177b620ecd2ba4152d668d9ae9d4621d38
Go away. I am napping.
lol that’s me alright
I am less stressed when no one else is around. I like to be in my own world. Similar to infps which goes well with my intj 4w5 typing.
INFJ here. Despite what you’ve heard about Fe, I almost can’t stand being around ppl..but then complain that I’m lonely
I’ve come to the conclusion that extroverts just genuinely seem to enjoy and revel in being surrounded by people. It’s like their battery recharges and they get life energy from being around others, getting fed information and news, gossiping, comparing themselves, showing off. Instead, introverts are the complete opposite, it feels like others just drain from us at every interaction, and we need recovery time in-between XD
Also, solitude isn’t the same as loneliness. It can be very peaceful and deeply restorative
Ts is corny
This isn't an INTJ thing. This is just depression.
Realmente es así, a veces. Siendo seres sociales por naturaleza es inevitable...
This is an INTJ strength, not a problem
I relate to this as well
I’d have to say no, because we don’t need to be touched for us to have company. Just sit in the corner and watch me look at these blue prints for world domination 😂! And if you want to take part in my successful operation just wait for the action scene because I don’t need you messing up my plans. Only playing your role😊
I am not like this. I am married so I always enjoy the alone time. If I was single, this might be true. I don't know. I haven't been single in over 30 years.
Frame 3 is different for us.... We let the touch happen and then immediately regret it.
I know I have a habit of making attempts to be social and the second I'm out and about, I'll want to be back home. So, arguably the fourth frame might be more like "I hope this solitude never ends".... And then of course we cycle back to frame 1....
No. They’re just narcissist with several mental problems.