Some background to this. I, F(19) moved out in July with my now fiancée M(19) because I told my mother that her husband sa’d me when I was 15. She kicked me out because she didn’t want to hear it. She was incredibly abusive throughout my childhood and her husband, my stepfather, has cheated on her at least 6 times that she knows of. With minors, as she originally told me when I came out about it. She believed me, but did a complete turn around the next day. I have proof, provided it, and she kicked me out. I have 4 siblings, my eldest brother left them and cut them off because of the abuse, second oldest sibling left after parents “borrowed” thousands from him and showed no sign of paying them back. They gave up custody of younger sibling, and my youngest sibling is still with them, though constantly messages me against their wishes because he wants me to take custody. Recently I shot her a message saying happy thanksgiving and had a safe winter because my little sibling wanted me to try and make contact after she insinuated to him that she wanted to talk to me again. (I only intended to do so to figure out more about the CPS case that was open on them). This was her response.
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They don’t hand out restraining orders like candy.., women in domestic violence situations struggle to get judges to file them, this woman will most likely be laughed out of the courtroom.
She is committed to the act. Denial, denial, denial.
I hope OP shows up to court with her proof and gets it entered as evidence. That'll be part of the eventual court case against him.
Round up the 6 minors he SA and bring them and their parents along. Burn it all down.
He is currently facing charges by the state after my sibling who is in state custody came forward about her own experience with him! While I’ve been trying for years to get them both arrested for other things, it seems the world had its own plans on getting him locked up.
Why would you reach out to say happy thanksgiving?
My sibling asked me to. He’s the last one left there and apparently she hinted to him that she was going to invite me over to thanksgiving. My family lives in a very nice house in a high end town so CPS doesn’t take things seriously unless it’s physical. As unfortunate as this will come out, I wanted to try and get into the house to record things after ticking her off or seeing the state of the house.
Rape is as physical as it gets.
Sadly in this case OP means that CPS won't do anything without physical marks, like "beating" bruises or physical damage from a rape, so while she may have been sa'd CPS will treat it as "he said she said". My second oldest daughter was consistently sa'd by her birth mother while we were trying to get custody of her, and the only way that girl could escape was to get herself committed. It cut me up seeing her so calm about being locked up but she kept reassuring me that it was the only way to get anyone to listen. (She's grown now, with a baby of her own and she lives in a house with her husband and her older sister. She isn't PERFECT but she is trying)
Hey, can you ask your sibling to try and get photos of the state of the home and send them to you directly? I doubt you'll be getting in there anytime soon. Not unless the egg donor does a 180 again. He may be able to record her secretly as well, just tell him to act like his reading or playing a game on his phone, or set it down so it's not obvious he's recording.
Good luck on getting custody!
She’s trying to silence you so you don’t call CPS to protect your siblings. Why you love her is beyond me. Why would you love someone who doesn’t protect or believe you and then threatens you? Call CPS.
I have, multiple times. It’s a nice house in a nice town, CPS doesn’t take those cases seriously unless it’s physical. My sibling is 15 going on 16, so that’s another thing that makes it a case less likely to be picked up.
How is rape not physical?
It is physical! Incredibly so, but unfortunately due to the lack of dna evidence and no hard evidence besides witness statements, the police won’t pick up the case. I’ve tried a couple times and the last time the police finally looked deeper into it, and now he’s got the county pressing charges for when he did it to my sister, who is still a minor. My situation happened over 4 years ago.
Have you told them what happened to you?
"IF you want to share your side"
When and where
"No it doesn't work like that"
Bish you invited Op to turn up
Insane.
The women who support child molesters and deny abuse are a mystery to me. How can they live with themselves, knowing what he did to her child? Disgusting.
I hope you get you sibling out of there.
They believe they have no choice than to stay with the abuser. In order to protect their own belief that they are good people, they have to believe that the accusers are liars. It's a horrible thing, and shows a severe lack of maturity, in my opinion. I think the blame-the-victim thing shows a similar pattern, but there the problem is protecting your belief in your own safety. "If I do everything right, nothing bad can happen to me." It's irrational, but sadly common.
My sister-in-law’s partner beat the crap of her 12-year old son (who we took in and raised) and SHE refused to talk to him again until he apologised for ‘provoking’ her partner into doing it!!!
Oh wow, that’s so closely knit to this! I truly hope she gets the karma she deserves and the son is recovering and lives the best life with you.
It's just wild to deny your own child for a man (especially who isn't even the father, not that it would excuse it)
I know. I can't imagine it. It happens over and over, though.
This is awful. You deserve better and I'm glad you got out. I hope things get better for you and your siblings, especially the one still stuck with these people
File a police report.
File a police report and try to get custody of your younger sibling. It's dangerous for them to be in that house.
DO NOT give her your current address! I wouldn't put it past her to show up to scream and harass you in person.
We are moving soon because we found out she’s been using my SSN to open accounts on creditkarma and Experian to watch what I’m doing 😂
What?? Please tell me you've locked down your credit and filed a police report!
I have! We’ve been fighting her for awhile! She drained my credit score down to 490 and after disputing everything, unfortunately it’s still pretty low.
Did you file charges against her? Because a police report will get that shit taken off your credit report. If you haven’t pressed charges, you need to. And your mother should be dead to you.
She is dead to me! But I have to keep up appearances for when she gets taken to court for custody of my sibling. I’ve been building a case with my lawyer, so soon it’ll all come crashing down on her.
Rock on, OP, you seem feisty. Wishing you all the best and hope you can enjoy a merry time over this holiday period with your fiancé.
Girl you are amazing.
I highly doubt she’ll get around to filing. The ven diagram between people who threaten legal action and those that file in court are basically two separate circles.
Let her try to get a restraining order- tell her you'll file a response and put all of her/her sicko scumbag husband's gross, abusive acts on the record.
The permanent, public record.
I would go to the police if I were you. Is your mother religious? Then talk about the SA and other abuse with elders from the church too. It's always handy that they can't deny having heard about these problems within their community.
She never returned to the church after she was confronted about the abuse multiple of my siblings hinted at.
I like that she said "im gonna file a restraining order what's your address so you can come voice your side" and then was like "WELL TOO BAD THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS" lol she also clearly doesn't understand how restraining orders work if she thinks she can get one to keep someone away who....isn't doing anything and is already staying away
My husband used to sub as a judge and did orders of protection and you sending one message wishing her a happy Thanksgiving and a safe winter would get her told no and this is not grounds for an order of protection. Hopefully you can get custody of your sibling.
also her first text makes it seem like she wants you to fix the fact that he's cognitively impaired and that him being cognitively impaired is somehow your fault? its very confusing
I never explained what that means! He has ms, he’s not cognitively impaired, he’s struggling a little with moving and his vision is getting bad, my sibling gives me regular updates. He’s actually more competent than her right now..
Please report him. You don't want your siblings to be victims as well.
Hey, Im practically an expert on them. 3 ex's all with expired ones.
It's hard af to get a restraining order. I was lucky and had police officer friends who told me exactly what to say and what evidence to provide.
She's not filing shite. They'll laugh at her.
Just stop talking to her and try to give as much support as you can to your sibling still there.
How does she expect you to fix cognitive impairment