Temu Post Malone
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  • 1 points VersacePager

    Why’s his hair look photoshopped?

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    👊FISTS OF FURRY👊

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  • 28 points delaydude

    Moist Palone

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  • 18 points tarmagoyf

    Do people like this think everyone else is just going around being assholes to each other irl?

    Of course nobody is making fun of you to your face, that would be rude. Generally only the worst people are making fun of other people to their face.

    Its not because you're tough. Its because other people are just nice to each other.

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    8 points Ok-Falcon4421

    Also if he didn't post stuff like this, people probably wouldn't be making fun of him online anyway.

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  • 7 points billbrasky512

    His FB account is a goldmine of badassery.

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    1 points sanduskyjack

    Let him work it out t in jail.

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  • 9 points Beetlejuice_24Xx

    This is an absolute Textbook Iamverybadass. Nice post

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  • 9 points aoshi1

    What a cute little haircut.

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    4 points gordorturo

    Went to the barbershop and asked for the Adolf 😂

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  • 13 points madpolecat

    My guess is that he’s five-foot-four and compensating.

    And lifting and taking pix at Planet Fitness.

    Go back to the playpen.

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  • 3 points TattyViking

    Is that his surname or a wee pep talk to himself?

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  • 3 points Gargun20

    Devin is such a badass 🤣

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  • 3 points bl123123bl

    Do you remember Gerbert Baby, this is him now

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  • 5 points MrJNM1of1

    Post Jabron

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  • 9 points IndominasaurusYT

    well if people say it to your face you'll go whine on twitter

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  • 17 points MoreMetaFeta

    Oh dear, that face "art". He was left alone too long with Sharpies.

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  • 26 points Custardchucka

    Why did you crop out all the laugh reacts

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    1 points wolfe1924

    If I included anymore it would ruin the screenshot and block out half what he said. Hes getting absolutely destroyed though.

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    17 points dutch-van-der-linde

    Went to look… 6.5k laugh reacts

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  • 12 points aryzkryz

    Shhh... Quiet. It's because you're in a library. No loud voices allowed.

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  • 11 points Dev-N-Danger

    Literally just came to post this! Haha

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    6 points wolfe1924

    Is this you Devin staydangerous /s lol

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    5 points Dev-N-Danger

    No, dude stole my name

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  • 12 points negativeGinger

    People do tend to be quieter around toddlers

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  • 18 points Relevant_Call_2242

    Dude looks like he jacks off to Andrew Tate videos

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    3 points TattyViking

    Bet he had himself a big old cry-wank over the footage of Taint getting slept by a dude in pink gloves.

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  • 10 points Iron_Baron

    What in the camera angle/fish lens is this shit?

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    5 points Accurate-System7951

    Definitely some kind of stretching going on to try to make himself look bigger. Should've stretched his eyes open too.

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    1 points Something_McGee

    I think if you unstretch it, his head will look freakishly large on his body.

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  • 7 points Double0

    When you laugh so hard you can't breathe, is that silence.

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  • 3 points meghonsolozar

    Current Bologna

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  • 7 points tankoret

    Got all of those facial tattoos and big muscles but in a fight, he forget to duck.

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  • 16 points SpookiSkeletman

    Rooms silent because people get everything they need to know by looking at him lmao.

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  • 3 points Emergency_Office_736

    Stay dangerous y'all!

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  • 12 points Skullpuck

    He needs to change his name to Over Compensate.

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  • 14 points DidelphisGinny

    https://preview.redd.it/qsdbn6mt6e9g1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a34c11725ff64a66afc6a6d1526e6ccaf482a68d

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  • 23 points DADDYR0UNDR0UND

    The poster child for “not worth my time and effort”. This dude walks around thinking people are scared of him. The reality of it is no one thinks of him, ever.

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    1 points mrmoe198

    That or he walks around acting tough and being overly emotional when mildly challenged because he’s a scared little boy inside.

    Real toughness is emotional grit. Most people are still trying to develop that skill.

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    1 points RobertSmithsHairGel

    Id say people do think of him, but more to the point of him being an unstable stooge.
    Who the fuck gets such horrific facial tattoos?

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    3 points NotsoGreatsword

    Yeah its funny how people think that "people don't tell me their real opinions of me because I might get violent." Is a flex 😂😂😂

    Not much different than dealing with a toddler.

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    1 points DADDYR0UNDR0UND

    And just like toddlers the best way to treat these dudes is to ignore them when they act out. State of arrested developments final boss

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  • 12 points CleanupHitter

    Taking "I'm a Hard Man" selfies at a Planet Fitness.

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  • 6 points physics_fighter

    That guy is 5-4

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  • 8 points Dan_Morgan

    This guy just screams "pocket bitch."

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  • 13 points thatG_evanP

    Dude has literally combed his beard out and is rocking the typical nazi haircut.

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    1 points tankoret

    Right?!!! I looked at that haircut and said to myself «WTH»

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  • 15 points QuestionableComma

    Post Felone

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    1 points hairyringus

    Water Melone

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  • 5 points Spazyk

    The beard makes him look like a chipmunk.

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  • 12 points Maybe_just_this_once

    Post MaBail

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  • 10 points FHAT_BRANDHO

    Hes right, its hilarious. But probably not for the reasons he thinks it is.

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  • 5 points emix16

    Dude has to bee zooted out of their mind.

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  • 19 points TheVillainKing

    Looking like a desk in a high school detention room.

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  • 11 points crazedgunner

    I've never seen someone with a more bearded baby face before.

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    4 points tideshark

    That’s exactly what I thought! Dude has the softest face ever and trying so hard to add some years to it but even a beard and tats can’t cover up that little kid face lol

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  • 5 points Actual_Squid

    We have the Crow 2024 reboot at home

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  • 14 points TheDevilsAdvokaat

    I think people have been drawing on your face while you were sleeping..

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  • 10 points Kulas30

    Probably because you look like you are about to steal our shit

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    1 points rubinass3

    Yeah. What was he expecting?

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  • 8 points GrassBlade619

    He looks like what a school shooter thinks a bad ass guy looks like.

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  • 6 points BeeBanner

    Tattooed kissy lips on his cheek? 😂

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  • 10 points Alerith

    Postmate Malone

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  • 7 points GambledMyWifeAway

    lol I saw this post on Facebook

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  • 23 points DrummerSteve

    He looks like when your 5 yo cousin comes over and asks to play your video game and creates a new custom character

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  • 48 points EOverM

    The room's silent because no-one wants to talk to you, mate, not because you're threatening.

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    6 points KingMobScene

    If people talked this guy might see it as an invitation to talk at them

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  • 14 points st_jasper

    Jelly Roll needs to calm the fuck down

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  • 13 points fat-homer

    Holy Lyme disease batman

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    0 points bad-and-buttery

    I don’t get it

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    0 points fat-homer

    It could be up-syndrome

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    5 points DeeRent88

    What’s giving Lyme disease symptoms? Genuinely curious

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    -1 points fat-homer

    I might be mixing it up with up-syndrome

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  • 9 points mrEggBandit

    Thats what my face looked like when i was 12 minus the beard and tattoos

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  • 15 points mwax321

    Is that a Hitler comb over?

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    3 points neizha

    Looks like he painted it on.

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  • 7 points OldManJeepin

    LoL! Dude trying to looksmax 5'1"....and failing.....

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  • 11 points AlertedCoyote

    Mail-Order Malone

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    3 points bassbeatsbanging

    Sorry no CODs

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  • 24 points Dazzaster84

    He looks like a toddler that got into the junk drawer.

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    4 points WordsMort47

    I’m looking for that “First person to fall asleep at the slumber party” type comment

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  • 27 points Endlessparadox123

    Tattoos, esp on your face, tell me that you're not very good at making decisions; that's why I avoid you, Devin.

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    -7 points Hawt_Dawg_II

    This is the most reddit shit I've read all day. I get what you mean but please don't talk to people like this in real life lol

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    8 points Endlessparadox123

    Why would I unless they asked me?

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    0 points Hawt_Dawg_II

    No one asked you to speak like that here either though.

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    1 points Endlessparadox123

    That's the beauty of it, no one asked for any of us to speak. Funny, huh?

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  • 8 points xsmiley314x

    Talk they shit 🙄

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  • 15 points ghostfacestealer

    Hitler haircut

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  • 24 points wote89

    No, Devin. We just all stay quiet because we don't want to give you an opportunity to ruin the conversation trying to sell us on the supplements you MLM'd your way into trying to offload.

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  • 9 points FilthyThanksgiving

    Pre Malone

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    1 points VioletteKaur

    Fax Malone.

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  • 11 points chingaari

    Most Palone

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    5 points Endlessparadox123

    Moist Provalone

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    4 points geri73

    Hang up the phone.

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  • 12 points acciowaves

    If a bee sting was a person.

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  • 16 points feloniousfoolery

    Guys that brush their beard out like that to make it look bigger are fucking weird man

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    4 points BlackShadowX

    Imo, it's more likely he doesn't brush it at all cuz that's how mine looks naturally and I hate it (other than growing in different directions which I also hate)

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    6 points feloniousfoolery

    Nah bro he def brushes that shit.. 😂

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  • 6 points Strong-Dot-9221

    Why? Just why would you do that to yourself? Better question is how do you think it makes you look cool?

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  • 19 points bce0ce

    that man has fucked at least one barnyard animal.

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  • 5 points 667questioning

    But that hair though. Totally believe everything except that…

    /s

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  • 10 points greatproficient

    Sir, please stop punching the 'You must be 48 inches tall to ride to the merry-go-round' sign.

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    9 points coffeetilithirts

    He still takes running starts to jump and emphatically touch tops of doorways

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  • 6 points Batdog55110

    "You embarassed me in front of Vanessa!"

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  • 18 points IndigoRanger

    The silence of the room he’s in

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  • 14 points QueenCobra91

    just say you're a nazi, dude.

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  • 16 points superfleh

    Most Palone.

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    11 points Golden-Grams

    Mostly Provolone

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    11 points superfleh

    MostLikely Alone

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    3 points Cease-2-Desist

    This was good

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  • 4 points MoHeeKhan

    Top half Night of the Living Dummy, bottom half Uncle Albert.

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  • 16 points ThatGuyFrom720

    I refuse to believe people like this are real.

    They get a bunch of absolutely goofy cosmetic changes, then get “upset” when they’re made fun of. Also bro’s at a planet fucking fitness so this makes more sense now.

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    2 points Datslegne

    Good catch on the planet fitness bit. You’d think such a hardcore guy would at least go to a real gym

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  • 8 points chunkyclumps

    I'd say dollar tree. Temu is to high quality for this

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  • 8 points Pingasplz

    Bro needs to have his smart devices checked.

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  • 5 points Electronic-Trip8775

    What an utter cock

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  • 8 points Fostbitten27

    He’s not gay, his boyfriend is the gay one.

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    0 points MoHeeKhan

    Is being gay an insult again? I was sure we were done with that twenty years ago.

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    -4 points AquaStarRedHeart

    As soon as Trump got reelected I noticed that the r word was back in fashion on Reddit.

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    -3 points MoHeeKhan

    And the f word (gay insult), which I found was so much more prevalent in the US than any other English speaking country even before Trump.

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    0 points AquaStarRedHeart

    The downvotes are funny. I've been on Reddit since basically its inception (although this account is only eightish years old maybe) and there was a definite shift on those words after all the tech bros decided to start sucking his collective dick. Must be comforting to think otherwise

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    7 points Fostbitten27

    It wasn’t meant as an insult. It was meant to show that he appears to be really compensating to show he’s not really gay.

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    -9 points MoHeeKhan

    That’s not believable. I can’t see what in any of it would be done to deny being gay. Seems to suggest in your mind being muscular or tattoos or violent is ‘non-gay’ stuff. Which suggests in your mind gay men can’t be muscular or tattooed. You definitely used being gay as an insult.

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    6 points Tony_Lacorona

    Merry Christmas y’all

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    3 points Fostbitten27

    Sorry if you took it that way.

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    -4 points MoHeeKhan

    Only way it could be. If it was me I’d take it on board and reflect but yknow.

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    9 points Fostbitten27

    Happy Holidays and again I am sorry.

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    6 points feloniousfoolery

    Bro was being super gay tho 😭

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  • 11 points model-citizen95

    Yes, because you look unstable and people are understandably wary of that

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    1 points VioletteKaur

    He is the "ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME?!!!!?" type. Nobody has time for that.

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  • 15 points 2crowsonmymantle

    Hitler haircut, gun tattooed on his face, cross on the other side…. Yeah, he’s clearly Very Very Strong and Very Manly and not at all compensating for anything.

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    5 points ratdeboisgarou

    Odds of large lifted pickup: 83.6%

    Odds of pitbull or rotty: 79.3%

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    1 points Fostbitten27

    He’s not gay, his boyfriend is the gay one.

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  • 2 points navajorpez

    I always thought that the red lips tatto, specially in the face, is like betting all-in in whatever shit you're in.

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  • 4 points Due_Ad_4633

    What a cringey little dweeb

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  • 5 points preshowerpoop

    Say what? Can I get an English translation?

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  • 17 points BigPigeon69

    The rooms silent when he's in it because no one likes him

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  • 15 points sureal42

    Because you have made your face a billboard letting everyone know you have anger issues and will probably shoot someone...

    But you are probably more right, everyone thinks you are such a badass they don't talk until you are gone out of reverence for your badassery....

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  • 4 points mrlogicpro

    China Post Malone

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  • 5 points Karmanjakan

    Beware, bad tattoos

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  • 5 points Jonasthewicked2

    Nice tits bro

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  • 10 points PapasGotABrandNewNag

    The kind of dude who posts this still checks Facebook and has 400 followers and is following 1800 people.

    There is nothing wrong with that but he thinks that those 400 people are always in awe of everything he posts.

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  • 8 points Oz347

    r/justfuckmyshitup

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  • 9 points sllh81

    Johnny Dangerously, meet Devin StayDangerous

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  • 11 points DangerNoodle793

    Ho Malone

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  • 3 points dogmanlived

    Plank Melon

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  • 9 points tms10000

    "I'm sorry, sir. The bank teller position has already been filled. But we will make sure to keep your application safely in the shredder should any other position open."

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  • 18 points Addamall

    So he knows everyone talks shit behind his back

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  • 11 points Street_Peace_8831

    It’s almost like he’s starting to understand how the internet works.

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  • 10 points whatsthisthingfor89

    Its the fuckass comb to the side that does it for my

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  • 9 points hundenkattenglassen

    What is shittier? The haircut? The face tatts? The pube beard?

    I wonder if even his grandma thinks he’s “a handsome young man” with…”that” aesthetic.

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  • 10 points RabMcHuggett

    There is not one single person on this earth who looks good with a face tattoo.

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    7 points hundenkattenglassen

    It’s the lamest shit. Literally screams “GIVE ME ATTENTION” and then they rant online about how they don’t think their face tatts define them as person. 🙄

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  • 6 points THETennesseeD

    Cool arm bro, look at my insert weapon name here

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  • 9 points Beneficial_Map

    Nazi on the top, jihad on the chin.

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  • 6 points McEvilson

    He's like one of the Lil' Rascals in a Halloween costume.

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  • 20 points GallusTom

    Post'n Alone

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  • 19 points Atheizm

    He carved the potato stamps to make those face tattoos all by himself.

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  • 19 points Virama

    The room goes quiet because everyone is thinking "Please fuck off"

    Shit ass face tattoos too. 

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  • 16 points Chumpfish

    He's talking about his only job interview

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  • 17 points Signaltosnowratio

    Fetal Alcohol Testosterone

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  • 13 points DullEstimate2002

    He looks like all Three Stooges got mixed up in the wash. 

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  • 10 points mmashare06

    Greetings from a Valdosta Georgia Planet Fitness

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  • 1 points mmashare06

    Hahaha I was just about to post this

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  • 2 points fozzyfozzburn

    Six nine thousand.

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  • 16 points LucyferEllysia

    Probably becouse they know he is as dumb as he looks and will assult sombody becouse sombody insulted his masculinity, which is as frail as the end of a prince ruberts drop

    Edit: becouse i forgot to write the middle of my own post.

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    4 points jugstopper

    *Prince Rupert*

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    1 points LucyferEllysia

    👍 cool

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  • 9 points The-Grand-Wazoo

    One provokes the mentally unstable in real life at one’s peril.

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  • 8 points Mister-Spook

    This is actually Pre Malone.

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  • 8 points MURDERNAT0R

    Is his hair drawn on?

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    3 points MiddlesbroughFan

    I saw that episode of Malcolm in the Middle

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  • 8 points glaringinaccuracy

    It's probably pretty quiet because it's a Planet Fitness, if I had to guess.

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  • 19 points DamianSicks

    Post Traumatic Malone

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  • 16 points froonie

    Apparently his barber was scared off.

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  • 16 points Sad-Project-2498

    I was told your not supposed to just point and laugh at people in public so I try to avoid that.

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  • 11 points jordan853

    I mean yeah I'm scared of this guy... But more because I worry he would do something horrible and not be fully prosecuted due to insanity.

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  • 14 points RobotWiz2099

    Looks like Farva

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  • 15 points jmarinara

    Nothing screams “on probation” quite like… well… <gestures broadly>

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  • 40 points Bionicles4Lyfe

    How does he look like Adolph going through a Post Malone phase taking a picture with a baby face filter

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    8 points sharksinthecarpet

    How can this be so specific, yet so accurate

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  • 20 points Hizam5

    The room is silent when you’re in it because everyone knows you can’t carry a conversation past introductions

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  • 23 points GrayMouser12

    Reddit been real quiet since he dropped this. Real quiet.

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    2 points BiscuitDance

    They said pull up.

    Well he here now.

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    7 points Someth1ng_Went_Wr0ng

    All of you: Please stop with this type of grammar(?) or whatever it is 🤣

    Thank you for your attention to this matter

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  • 12 points WowIsThisMyPage

    He looks like the elf they have working in the basement

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  • 11 points Pinky_theLegend

    Why his haircut look like Hitler tried edges?

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    3 points Pale-Minute-8432

    Maybe he sees himself as an edgy Hitler.

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  • 17 points Vladimiravich

    Face tattoos that all scream "Poor Impulse Control."

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    3 points Pudding36

    However exceedingly great at poor judgment and excels at horrible decision making.

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  • 9 points Dro_mora

    People still use Facebook. I thought it was just for the geriatrics.

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  • 12 points WhiskeyRadio

    The most wild thing about this is the tattoos somehow aren't as bad as that shitty haircut.

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  • 4 points Q-burt

    Carrot Top looked better jacked like this.

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  • 6 points prodigalpariah

    He appears to have taken this at a planetfitness, known far and wide as the most hardcore of all gyms.

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  • 6 points scuolapasta

    Looks like a toddler Hitler grew a beard and covered his face in shitty press on tattoos.

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  • 9 points _yetifeet

    He hasn't been the same since he took a can of beans as a snack to a screening of Cars 2

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    2 points The_Spongebrain

    This feels like it should be a flair

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