Walmart savior
img
  • 7 points marshal231

    Itd be less cringe if he just threatened to shoot me tbh.

    parent
  • 24 points MSGdreamer

    If this were my Walmart.

    parent
  • 16 points Jonasthewicked2

    Let’s all be grateful we almost made it through 2025 with total badasses like this afoot

    parent
    3 points skypig357

    Yeah I have no idea why the military and law enforcement spend literally millions of dollars training people. Hell I wasted three decades training in my career trying to be great in physical violence arenas. I should have just said I’m a badass and believed it like this guy.

    parent root
    2 points Jonasthewicked2

    “Remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it”

    • George Costanza
    parent root
  • 14 points ChoadMcGillicuddy

    I'm a blind double arm amputee. Come at me bro!

    parent
  • 18 points shackleford224

    This is MY Walmart!

    There are many like it but this one is mine!

    My Walmart is my best friend; it is my life!

    parent
    -2 points Chumpfish

    Maybe he works there?

    parent root
    1 points Confident-Medicine75

    I think you missed the reference

    parent root
  • -8 points PaddyBoy1994

    I mean, I normally carry a gun, so if someone tried to shoot up a Walmart I was shopping at, I'd prob just pull my gun and shoot the dumbass🤷‍♂️

    parent
    3 points Cold_and_Lumpy

    r/iamverybadass

    parent root
    6 points AcrobaticOil

    Always one of these guys

    parent root
    14 points PrateTrain

    What's your plan if the police show up to an active shooting scene and you're the only one with a gun drawn?

    parent root
    -12 points PaddyBoy1994

    At that point, I'd put my gun on the ground, and cooperate with their orders. Would be far from the first time something similar had happened.

    parent root
    13 points PrateTrain

    Are you familiar with the variety of stories where the good guy with a gun gets lit up when the cops show up on the scene? I recall one story in particular where they shot a security guard to death after the guard had disarmed the shooter.

    parent root
    -12 points PaddyBoy1994

    Are you familiar with the variety of stories where the good guy stops the bad guy and the police don't shoot them? Because there are many of those stories, too. I can think of two, right off the top of my head. Elisjsha Dicken, who stopped a shooter at Greenwood Mall in Indiana, and Jack Wilson, who stopped a shooter at a church in a small town in Texas. Both are still alive and well.

    parent root
    8 points PrateTrain

    Not saying it's impossible, just that you're putting yourself in danger on two fronts.

    parent root
  • 11 points ApproachSlowly

    https://preview.redd.it/r2bqvuhey09g1.png?width=495&format=png&auto=webp&s=7eb6a2916ca2f8c8dece9c0206b70fd5666917e5

    parent
  • 12 points ElanMomentane

    Needs more commas.

    parent
  • 35 points mangolover

    "If, this, was my Walmart" - a poet

    parent
    8 points jdehjdeh

    I'd secure the upvotes, save my account, and you'd be IP banned.

    If, this, was my Reddit

    parent root
    9 points Fostbitten27

    Rednecks are very territorial when it comes to Walmart

    parent root
  • 15 points kasfinally

    I say it in every post I see like this.

    These are all threatre kids who were too embarrassed to be theatre kids. Just accept it my man. You live in a fantasy world. Its all theatre. 

    parent
  • 9 points Empty_Following1840

    parent
  • 14 points NikkolaiV

    Imagine a war against these clowns...piles of tactical gear filled with tainted gravy. Like an army of Steven Seagals.

    parent
    2 points SKMonkyDeathCar

    I don't know what tained gravy is, but stained or tainted both work I guess.

    parent root
  • 15 points penny_can

    For he IS the Kwisatz Haderach 

    parent
    3 points Emergency_Office_736

    Lisan al-Gaib!!!!

    parent root
    2 points d4everman

    Gawd damn, you got me with that one! Good one.

    parent root
  • 20 points VanBeelergberg

    Is there a sub for overusing commas?

    parent
    5 points ToYits821

    r/commagore

    parent root
  • 28 points CoolAbdul

    "If... this... was my Walmart." - Shatner

    parent
    2 points penny_can

    There...has GOT to be a way, we...must secure the Walmart. Mr. Chekov all ahead full

    parent root
    3 points HopefulPlantain5475

    I read it as him already panting for air just from the effort of writing the comment.

    parent root
  • 10 points Avaylon

    These people all think they're John Wick. I'm related to a couple men like that. 🙄

    parent
  • 8 points Da_Doll223

    parent
    3 points Epicarvllyn

    parent root
  • 18 points pocket_nick

    Meanwhile the guy with real BDE is recovering in a hospital in Australia and is humble as fuck. After seeing him receive his GFM check and listening to him speak, he seems very nice to be around.

    parent
    4 points Emergency_Office_736

    Does seem like a humble guy. Was in the interview saying he figured he would die. Still went after the shooter. Ain't too many out there who would. Lots who say they would.

    parent root
  • 6 points Badnerific

    /r/commagore Jesus Christ

    parent
  • 10 points iamblankenstein

    "i've played a lot of tekken."

    parent
  • 2 points crusher23b

    This sounds like Cledus T Judd song.

    parent
  • 6 points Substandard_Senpai

    I thought this was a riddle about a sneeze in the first half

    parent
  • 7 points oshunman

    vibe commas

    parent
  • 7 points rigidlynuanced1

    Imagining it in your mind isn’t the same as drilling it over and over until it’s instinct. Even then, you have no idea how you will react in an unknown situation. These 10 ply halfwits think being tough is about talk, instead of action.

    If you’ve ever been in an active shooter scenario, you are definitely not fantasizing about it happening again so you can be the savior.

    parent
    1 points PaddyBoy1994

    Yep. Absolutely this.

    parent root
  • 4 points Endlessparadox123

    Sir, this is Wendy's.

    Seriously, do these grown men...males not aware how they sound like children?

    parent
  • 19 points greenweenievictim

    This is my Walmart. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

    parent
    2 points Endlessparadox123

    https://preview.redd.it/zav6u9snwy8g1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=30b5d6025b806b2fede39082e18326b2b1683802

    parent root
  • 6 points ChildoftheApocolypse

    They lie in bed at night, moments before drifting off, running through the scenarios in their head.. They consider this training..

    parent
  • 3 points whole_chocolate_milk

    Such a vivid imagination. He would crush it in preschool.

    parent
    3 points Endlessparadox123

    He peaked in preschool.

    parent root
  • 8 points Maximum_Turn_2623

    I didn’t think we’d get dumber than Marky Mark landing the plane.

    parent
    2 points RunningPirate

    Christ, I forgot about that.

    parent root
  • 2 points JECfromMC

    It sounds like some private that’s still crapping basic training chow saying something about “wearing a hat in my messhall”.

    parent
  • 7 points dum_spir0_sper0

    Ten bucks says this dude uses the phrase ‘my Walmart’ far, FAR too often.

    parent
  • 6 points HLMaiBalsychofKorse

    What is with all the agit-bots putting 2025 in every post and comment? It's weird.

    parent
  • 3 points darknite125

    “Without you seeing me coming” I’m imagining him lumbering up to this supposed villain threatening the local Wal Mart only to have that heartbreaking realization that despite what he’s told himself for so long he in fact does not have Batman-esque stealth skills

    parent
    2 points pocket_nick

    The imaginary Walmart villain will hear the mouth breathing before they see him, it will be reminiscent of a labored fog horn.

    parent root
    2 points Maximum_Turn_2623

    I would assume he’s also the kind of guy who likes to make sure people see him coming in other contexts

    parent root
  • 12 points Minnesotamad12

    “If, this, was my Walmart”

    So poetic

    parent
    -1 points Endlessparadox123

    And I wouldn't call managing a Walmart as anything to be incredibly proud of.

    parent root
    4 points RunningPirate

    “If, this [spread arms, theatrically], was my Walmart.”

    parent root
    3 points jdehjdeh

    "You merely adopted the Walmart, I was born in it."

    parent root
    2 points RunningPirate

    I am one with the WalMart

    parent root
  • 11 points jmarinara

    If, this, was my English student; he’d, fail… miserably.

    parent
  • 7 points Kon-Tiki66

    He looks like a tool in his profile picture, but he's apparently very badass.

    parent
    3 points Endlessparadox123

    Many certified badasses get pedicures and sip daqeries! /s

    parent root
    3 points penny_can

    true, looking like Barney Fife is how they fool you

    parent root
  • 8 points reiflame

    He can't save himself from the comma splices though.

    parent
  • Hacker News
    • Top
    • Best
    • New
    • Ask
    • Show
    • Jobs
  • beta Hugging Face
    • Posts
  • Reddit
    • r/programming
    • r/technology
    • r/science
    • r/news
    • r/gaming