This has bugged me for a while. Oh he is a murderous psycho that wants to burn down the world! Must be a secret gay. Naturally we have to throw in some body shaming too, said evil person must also have a small penis.
The more deranged someone is the gayer and smaller their penis! Surrounded by so-called progressives yet this is their go to diagnosis for every bad person they don't like. Every radical on the other side is a secret homo!
When I try to explain how insanely bigoted this world-view is they look at me like I have 2 heads. It's just a fundamental truth to them and thus not open to real discussion.
Not so deep in their subconscious they really seem to think being gay causes you to become deranged, or at the very least there is something shameful about it worth using as an attack.
I guess to go even deeper let's look at the 3rd go-to insult "incel" which they don't even seem to know the meaning off (calling a man with children an involuntary celibate for exampleđ) is also popular.
So an evil man is in some way not able to properly interact with a woman sexually, as if that is ultimately what is wrong with him. Either he is gay thus does not want vagina, has a small penis and thus can't reach the sanity restoring part of the vagina, or he is an incel thus he does not have access to vagina?
An argument I have been given when I push back on accusing all evil people of being gay or otherwise "sexually inferior" is "they find it insulting which is why we do it".
Okay interesting. Would you make fun of an orphan if you knew it bothered them? It would be okay because they hold evil views thus it is okay to make fun of them for having dead parents? Can we say racist stuff to those who hold beliefs we don't agree with as well if it offends them? Why not throw in a slur if offending them is good isn't going all the way even better?
Of course no one would be okay with that, but oh accusing them of being gay is fine for some reason. Just feels so maddening when otherwise progressive people are so hell bent on using gay as an insult. Needs to be studied.
TLDR: If you think someone has evil ideas then attack the ideas instead of just saying they are a gay loser over and over.
Itâs âotheringâ.
Terrorists are presumed Muslim until proven otherwise, criminals are never white until they are. Lone wolf psychos are assumed to be gay, and then downgraded to âtroubled teenâ when that doesnât hold up.
If every other outward metric looks baseline, well IDK, letâs say he has a small dick or something.
This is how mainstream society reacts to outrage. They canât accept that someone just like them could do the horrible thing, so they find a way to make the person âotherâ. And then itâs ok, because of course âotherâ groups might do this.
Because if itâs not an âotherâ then itâs us. And if itâs us then thereâs something wrong with us. And thatâs unacceptable.
And of course, itâs okay to be mean to âotherâ groups. We can take away the rights of âotherâ groups, because thatâs not us. If itâs were us, itâd be unacceptable.
Kinda It sums up to "no one is the villain of their own story" idea, because they wanna be right even in wrong(?)
I feel like itâs a misguided attempt at emasculating the types of men who wrap themselves in an entire ethos of toxic masculinity and hatred for those who donât conform.
That said, Iâve never been a fan of the implied homophobia and body-shaming that comes with it.
Iâve been thinking about this a lot lately because Iâve really noticed how people still use âgayâ like itâs some terrible insult and talk about âhaving a small dickâ as if it were a horrific tragedy. Like⌠someone having a small dick? That doesnât make him a bad person. Itâs the obsession with genitals thatâs ridiculous.
People's character shouldnât be judged by that kind of thing, something I thought was obvious. But I still see so many people pushing this weird narrative. And donât even get me started on incels. At first, the term meant men who were involuntarily celibate, nothing more. But over time, the image has gotten so distorted that now if a guy is afraid of women or can't form relationships for any reason? Suddenly he's labeled a misogynistic incel.
That doesn't always add up. The guy might struggle with anxiety, trauma, or gynephobia (which isnât hatred; it's fear). Of course, there are deeply misogynistic men out there, unfortunately. But too often these labels get slapped onto people who have nothing to do with that mindset.
And here's the irony: some of those very same misogynists actually do have sex with women and enter relationships, not because they respect them, but because they see them as objects. And letâs be real, far too many cases of femicide come from exactly that kind of man: one who hates women but stays close to them anyway.
It seems like society reduces everything to one question: does this man sleep with women or not?
If yes? Then automatically:
He must be straight (never mind multisexual identities; apparently only âgayâ and âstraightâ exist).
He can't have a small dick (because clearly anyone who does deserves ridicule, never mind connection).
He couldn't possibly hate women (even though plenty who do are sleeping with them just fine).
Honestly? Anyone whose worldview hinges on genital size probably thinks like theyâre five years old. And deep down, when these people say âyouâre so gay,â they often arenât making an actual observation at all. Theyâre just using code to express disgust without saying something outright bigoted like the f-word. Most wouldnât say the harsher words openly because they know it crosses a legal/moral line, not necessarily because their values are sound. What worries me most is how being gay gets treated almost like an unpardonable crime deserving punishment by shame, or worse, social death.
The prejudice hits even those who arenât gay. Funny thing is, people love saying, "We always know, right?" Well, I have this straight friend who wears whatever he wants without caring what others think (long hair included), and while his vibe reads very masculine overall, he still gets flooded with homophobic comments online simply for stepping outside narrow norms. Even when he says plainly, "I date girls." Doesn't matter. Because truthfully, the haters donât care about accuracy. They just want someone whose look matches their imaginary stereotype so they can safely project all their ugly feelings onto yet another target.
(DAMN I just realized how much I wrote đ this topic really stresses me out bruh đđđž)
Doesnât help that so much of mainstream media and literature writes the villains to be gay or queer or implied to be.
I suspect that is tied to straight married men being sympathetic thus not a good choice for the author. This is also why politicians tend to have a wife, it humanizes them to the voter. Having a wife also raises the odds of you getting a promotion at work too btw.
Also in the case of writing it means having to write a female character who is either a major villain or a major victim in the narrative. You could make them a play boy but then some of the audience might thing the villain is cooler than the hero. So easiest to make the villain asexual or gay coded.
This is also why a lot of action protagonist have a dead wife/gf(to the point of it being a trope). The dead wife humanizes them without the author having to cramp the "I have nothing to lose" vibe of the protagonists.
I am not condoning this just explaining why it is like this.
Iâve heard other gay men say this sometimes too. I strongly agree with you, itâs not okay.
All true.
But this is why the MAGA crowd--with their small hands--can insult you, while you can't insult the MAGA crowd.
You can pretend that <insert homophobic slur> is no longer an insult, but you will understand that you've been insulted when they call you that. They even succeeded in turning 'woke' and 'trans' into insults.
Now how can you retaliate?
You could call them fascists or nazis. They will just smile knowingly and the smile will linger just a little bit too long. And then they will remind you how impolite it is to call them fascists.
You could call them assholes every time, because assholes is (one of) the only insult that doesn't inadvertently degrade one social group or another. So you're going to sound like a broken record. Assholes, assholes, assholes.
Or you could forego the use of insults alltogether. Nice idea. It makes you sound unimaginative and fragile. As if you might start crying any moment. Which is exactly what the MAGA crowd wants you to look like. They've been trying very hard to make that happen.
And now, they're standing there, smiling knowingly, and performing Elon Musk's 'To Mars' gesture with their small hands. You know, the one they practice every morning in front of the bathroom mirror.
And they will still do that in a few years, when they cart us off to the prison camps for being <insert homophobic insult here>.
There is no reason to engage in an insult battle with them. That does not accomplish anything. "When you wrestle with a pig you get dirty and the pig likes it" is all that will happen when you go back and fourth with these people.
They call you a fat faggot and you call them a small dicked closet-case. Great! Except in their worldview what they said is fine but if you claim to have a problem with insulting someone for their body/sexuality then they just got you to violate your own morals and sink to their level. You are legitimizing their cause.
If you want to fight then you have to fight on the ideas. You can't claim to be anti-sexism, anti-racist, pro-gay, and body positive when your go-to argument is to make fun of someone's race, gender, sexuality, and body. It makes it look like your virtues are a mask because you quickly violate them when you think it helps you win an argument.
If you can't explain why their ideas are wrong then at least don't concede gay as an insult! Just stay out of it.
Interesting points. Thx.
But the thing is, you're not trying to win an argument. You will never convince them with logic and reason. It's not their logic that is faulty, it's the premises on which it is built. They are convinced that being gay is wrong and immoral, because the bible says so and so does Houston Steward Chamberlain.
If you really want to convince someone, you need to go after their self-worth. You need to make fun of their role models and their beliefs. You need to sow doubts in their mind by presenting them with an alternative system of logic, one in which they are not great heroes but the disturbed, shambling loudmouths they actually are. If you can get them--or any onlookers--to believe you, you've accomplished something. The MAGA crowd certainly knows that. It's exactly the strategy they use.
Don't get me wrong, I believe we should respect conservatives, as long as they are open-minded, respectful, and intelligent. But they need to be able to understand that the limitations of their worldview.
Tbf there are evil people who are either openly gay, like Peter Thiel, or very obviously closeted, like Lindsey Graham. The calling them gay is more about pointing out the hypocrisy behind their support for anti-LGBTQ politics.
I guess to me it really depends on the person in question.
Fully agree. Itâs because liberals and maga are two sides of the same battery-swallowing, brain dead coin
They both get off on going after others & feeling righteous about it đ¤ˇđťââď¸ theyâre too full of kool-aid to consider outside perspectives
Far far left Liberal might I add, but spot on. That's why I like to fw ppl who are centre/centre leaning one side. đ¤
Quote if the day in there:
"Can't reach the sanity restoring part of the vagina" hehe.
I totally agree with you and honestly, the women I know are just as bad about this. I rarely hear the word incel from a guy, but it's kinda become a go to slur women use on any guy they dislike.
Its a strange world where it is wrong to body shame a woman, but very acceptable to body shame a guy. Why is body shaming anyone ok?
I haven't heard that since middle school.
I don't like it, but if a gay person said it, it would bother me much less than straight folks.
The issue is that there ARE a lot of closeted conservative men who try to hide their sexuality by being incredibly homophobic. Being closeted is incredibly psychologically damaging and some closeted people will do "evil" things to protect their secret.
For me where the issue starts is how this well documented pattern of homophobic public figures getting caught and outted gets caught up in generalized hate for these figures. For me finding out that someone is closeted and doing horrible homophobic things to hide it is a tragedy. When I see this gleeful shaming of these undoubtedly bad people I often see it devolve into bottom, sub, and female shaming and I find that really ugly.
Hate to tell you, but most of the time, they are gay, but the difference is that they use it as a means of control, to assert dominance and to dehumanize/emasculate others.
Itâs not really the same.
But also, youâve got to stop letting trivial things like this cause you such conflict. Itâs not good for you.
This might surprise you, but most people aren't gay. Being straight doesn't make you more likely to be "good". In fact, you are using a textbook definition of discrimination: since they are evil, they must be members of this group you don't like.
What happens instead is everyone talks about the sexuality of the rare evil gay person, but not the other 99% of bad people. Make a list of bad people, and you'll quickly see one of 2 things;
Everyoneâs a little gay.
Yea there are evil types of all people so some will be gay.
But saying theyre gay most of the times statistically incorrect and this is exactly what OP was talking about. Its a wild claim to begin with its wilder to reassert it then say oh but get over it its unhealthy to stress. Lmao what
I think you are wrong. There are some evil people who are gay like Lindsey Graham, but it is far from the majority. Not because being gay gives you bonus virtue but because being gay is much less common than being straight.
If you are talking about elites and their sexual fluidity I also wouldn't call them gay. Super rich people are bored, willing to do anything, and seemingly down to have sex with whoever. They are Machiavellian to their core(often a contributing factor to becoming wealthy) so things like "I don't enjoy gay sex" aren't a factor for them as long as there is some sort of benefit to doing so.
Also I wouldn't call my complaint trivial.