Ah, see I’m straight to the point - I’ll outright drop the question after talking for a while, can’t stand being too subtle. Don’t wanna waste time on someone who’s not looking for what I am, don’t see it as a bad thing establishing what you’re both trying to achieve early. Although, just be yourself.
I am very much the same, I like having directness and no ambiguity. But I just knew that some guys view it as too intense, so I was wondering where the line was so to speak. But usually I’d ask directly if I could
Don’t waste your time with guys who get put off by good communication. If being on the same page is too much for them then they aren’t worth your time.
I just ask that exact question on the first or second date. It's a waste of both of our time if we're expecting a totally different present and future relationship. Then I just say very bluntly I want a long-term mostly (open to couples play) monogamous relationship, no kids, preferably living together but with very defined shared/common space and spaces that belong to each of us (I got issues and need total control over at least one room), I have a cat (non-negotiable obviously lol), etc.
Man I’m also the type thats straight to the point and cuts through fog but you can’t know these things from just one date, try a few and because people open up the more often you see each other and discover things you weren’t even expecting were there for better or worse.
my advice will differ a bit from here. i do agree with the good communication advice. However, i dont necessarily believe it's a first date type of question. imo the first date is meant to see eachothers vibe and if you can hold a conversation and have a fun time together. In the beginning, i asked the same question when we were texting or on the first date. now i dont ask it anymore, and by date 3, i can easily find out what they are looking for based on a few remarks they have made.
If they mostly compliment or talk about my body (im pretty fit), then I know there is nothing long-term hoing on here. if they can hold a conversation about their hobbies or show an interest in mine, then there might be.
I could easily say on a first date i want to find my husband. but that doesn't mean i will see you as husband material. The dates are meant to feel each other out. use it. But reading between the lines gives you more to work with than their answers on the first few dates do.
Ah, see I’m straight to the point - I’ll outright drop the question after talking for a while, can’t stand being too subtle. Don’t wanna waste time on someone who’s not looking for what I am, don’t see it as a bad thing establishing what you’re both trying to achieve early. Although, just be yourself.
I am very much the same, I like having directness and no ambiguity. But I just knew that some guys view it as too intense, so I was wondering where the line was so to speak. But usually I’d ask directly if I could
Don’t waste your time with guys who get put off by good communication. If being on the same page is too much for them then they aren’t worth your time.
Wow…omg, so intense, being asked what I’m looking for… I think some guys just need to get over themselves. But I do know what you mean.
Don't play around about it.
At any point you discuss life, ask them directly. If you can't communicate on a first date, you won't during the relationship.
"Sorry for being so direct, but what are your life goals, what do you look for in a partner or relationship?"
Wow so hard 🙄.
I may sound like a bit of an ass, but playing around will get you hurt. At worst, you'll have a nice time and part ways.
Practice the sentence in a mirror or have a mock conversation to alleviate any anxiety.
I just ask that exact question on the first or second date. It's a waste of both of our time if we're expecting a totally different present and future relationship. Then I just say very bluntly I want a long-term mostly (open to couples play) monogamous relationship, no kids, preferably living together but with very defined shared/common space and spaces that belong to each of us (I got issues and need total control over at least one room), I have a cat (non-negotiable obviously lol), etc.
Man I’m also the type thats straight to the point and cuts through fog but you can’t know these things from just one date, try a few and because people open up the more often you see each other and discover things you weren’t even expecting were there for better or worse.
don't think you can lose by asking what someone is looking for. It's just a question.
I'd focus less on the long term outcomes. Simply focus on how to make enough of a connection as people. Don't think a second date is a given.
my advice will differ a bit from here. i do agree with the good communication advice. However, i dont necessarily believe it's a first date type of question. imo the first date is meant to see eachothers vibe and if you can hold a conversation and have a fun time together. In the beginning, i asked the same question when we were texting or on the first date. now i dont ask it anymore, and by date 3, i can easily find out what they are looking for based on a few remarks they have made. If they mostly compliment or talk about my body (im pretty fit), then I know there is nothing long-term hoing on here. if they can hold a conversation about their hobbies or show an interest in mine, then there might be.
I could easily say on a first date i want to find my husband. but that doesn't mean i will see you as husband material. The dates are meant to feel each other out. use it. But reading between the lines gives you more to work with than their answers on the first few dates do.