Even if you're not overweight you need to be cautious of these bastards when they get a few years under the belt. The plastic will degrade, more quickly if they're kept outside and get lots of sun, and when it fails they snap with a more brittle break. I've seen a leg break off under a kid who was probably around 100 lbs as he sat on it.
Really? I'm pushing 300 as a guy and I dont have any issues with chairs. I wonder if it has to do with weight distribution? I have some massive legs, so that weight wouldn't really be on the chair
I’ve plopped down into those and had the back legs bow out but not break. Getting out of the chair was an effort because the ass was hanging 6 inches lower than the front.
I was about 350 when I destroyed one of these. I was sitting at an outdoor table and I suddenly felt myself sinking. Then the four legs of the chair exploded in four different directions.
To most judgmental people, if you're not disrespecting people's boundaries and forcing them to act according to societal norms, you're being a shitty person.
At least that's what it seems like based on my observations.
Aware and motivated to become healthy are 2 different things. Knowing you are fat, and your friends telling you you are fat are 2 vastly different motivational factors.
My somewhat large cousin sat on one of those when a group of us was at an airBnb. It absolutely exploded with one of the legs completely missing. The whole week he would randomly bend over, spread his butt cheeks and ask...anyone see anything in there?
(We did eventually find the missing leg under a shrub at the opposite end of the property).
It's not even about weight. The legs are designed to randomly drill into, or slip over slightly, whatever surface they're on, completely throwing the engineering behind it out of whack. They self destruct, when you least expect it.
My grandpa fell from a ladder and landed in two of these stacked on each other. His neck/shoulders landed on one armrest, and his back landed on the other. The chairs broke, but they absorbed the impact energy enough to break his fall and leave him with zero injuries besides a few bruises. He literally had his life saved by chairs.
Maybe, but you'd be surprised what you can live through. I witnessed my grandfather around age 75 fall off our roof onto hard brick sidewalk below. He was trying to be handy without our permission, the typical old man thing where he wouldn't admit he shouldn't be wandering around on tin roofs at his age. Woke up to him hanging by his hands outside my bedroom window and he lost his strength before I could go out and get him a ladder. BAM! I thought surely he was dead. I ran outside and saw him groaning. He spent a day in the hospital and was fine to be released by night time.
Sounds like my grandpa lol. We had to tell him if he kept climbing the pecan tree instead of letting them fall to the ground to safely collect, we'd have to cut it down for his own good.
Friend of mine worked at a furniture store. One day a furious guy walks in demands a refund due to poor quality.
Turns out the poor fella, who was a bit on the heavy side had sat down naked on the plastic chair whereupon a the seat split in two. Courtesy of gravity, his ballsack falls down the crack that has been formed.
As anyone would have done noticing that the chair is collapsing, he got on his feet. The chair, relieved of the excessive weight immediately reversed to its original shape trapping the poor man’s balls on one side of the seat, and the rest of the body on the other. Fire brigade ambulance are called in and laughter ensues.
Luckily for the man with now very swollen balls, this occurred before the time of the smart phones.
Im sorry, but this guy, who is furious and demanding a refund tells your friend the whole story of how he got his balls stuck in the chair, the fire brigade and to come, and they laughed at him. Really
It sounds like bullshit or at least a conflation of stories.
I've heard a similar tale of testicle problems before from these patio chaise lounges that are like just horizontal rubbery plastic strips with small gaps in-between.
In all fairness, the store gave him a full refund for 4 chairs and let him keep the 3 ones not yet transformed into ballsack entrapment contraption, even though there was a big sticker on the side saying 100 kg maximum and this fella ways at least two seal cubs over that
We had three on the lanai when we bought our current home. I broke all of them. Not a huge guy - about 185 and I didn't plop down on them either. The last one I was talking on my phone and then looking up at the pool cage on my back. They were NOT replaced with the same crap!
I'm picturing an orthopedic surgeon saying, "Well you see, your bones are just like sun-damaged inexpensive injection mold patio chairs." That might leave a lot of patients scratching their heads.
I always have to lean back onto two legs in my chairs. It's in my nature. But it's like Russian roulette with these plastic chairs. Some are plenty strong. Some fold quickly. Always a bit of a gamble.
funny story. my brother was tasked with taking some stuff from the kitchen to the bin, but my mother also pointed at a chair like this which was in the kitchen and said take that outside. He takes a while, so I go to investigate, he's left the rubbish outside and he's trying to chop up the chair to put it in the bin.
"Perkeleen ranskalaiset muovituolit!" Same in english, loosely translated: "Damn french plastic chairs!" According to my late grandfather after he fell over backside when sitting in one of these.... I know they are not french, but when he said it, it was very convincing, straight from the heart....
It's rediculous how tough plastic is. Think about how much wood a chair needs for you to sit on it. And then look at these stoopid flimsy little shits and they can tank a 300 lb fat ass while he's still eating some more
A firefighter friend told me about having to extricate and elderly mad from one of these after he sat in it with nothing but a t-shirt on. The slot in the bottom opened up a little and trapped him. They used bolt cutters to cut the chair open.
My Great-Aunt was sitting on one of these chairs and was eating candies meant for us kids all morning. She tried to reach for another candy on a table slightly out of reach from her, and the chair gave up. It sent all these candy wrappers flying and she was lying right in the middle surrounded by broken pieces of the chair. My cousins upon seeing the scene ran away laughing while the adults helped her up. God bless her soul, but we still talk about that incident and laugh
I distinctly remember attempting to sit in one of those about two decades ago at a buddy’s house and backflipping into his koi pond instead. Fun times!
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So powerful that it can even withstand approaching storms
Provoking… black clouds in isolation…
I am reclaimer of my name...
Born in flames... I have been blessed.
My family crest is a demon of death.
Time to go listen to that song for the 1,396th time.
Peak reference.
By blowing away before it get bad?
By being motivated
Every overweight person’s worst nightmare
Owrson Welles?
"Aaaaaahhh...the French!"
"You don't know what I'm up against here!"
Btw, check out John Candy's impression of Welles, it's eerie.
“My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.” - Orson Welles
I make dinner for two, but always end up eating it all.
Even if you're not overweight you need to be cautious of these bastards when they get a few years under the belt. The plastic will degrade, more quickly if they're kept outside and get lots of sun, and when it fails they snap with a more brittle break. I've seen a leg break off under a kid who was probably around 100 lbs as he sat on it.
You get to point and laugh at them no matter what, though.
The trick? Stack two or three.
Hahaha.
I have a friend who is easily 300, probably even more.
Ive watched her decimate chairs.
If she tried to sit in one of these im pretty sure the legs would shatter like glass.
She cant even really sit in those fold out bagged chairs anymore.
If she moves the wrong way they rip apart and she's on the ground.
Its tragic, but also hilarious to see.
Your friend is likely pushing 400 lbs, not 300.
Really? I'm pushing 300 as a guy and I dont have any issues with chairs. I wonder if it has to do with weight distribution? I have some massive legs, so that weight wouldn't really be on the chair
it's weight distribution. If I sit normally, the chairs break, but I can sit well forward and let my legs hold themselves and the chair's fine.
a lot of people are gut-fat, not mixed or balanced fat. they'd break 'em easily.
In other words chaotic fat breaks them easily, while neutral and lawful fat has less chance of breaking it.
Narrator: As you sit on that rickety plastic chair, you hear a faint crack… <roll D20>
It was THACOs that got us into this problem to begin with.
In her case its often a critical failure.
She sometimes even has time to let everyone know the chair is breaking.
It usually doesnt collapse until she tries to get up, if stays perfectly still the chair holds onto hope.
Chaotic Fat is my new band name
I’ve plopped down into those and had the back legs bow out but not break. Getting out of the chair was an effort because the ass was hanging 6 inches lower than the front.
I was about 350 when I destroyed one of these. I was sitting at an outdoor table and I suddenly felt myself sinking. Then the four legs of the chair exploded in four different directions.
Terrible, but also hilarious.
You sound like an awesome friend.
What do you want him to do? Lock her in a basement and starve her?
To most judgmental people, if you're not disrespecting people's boundaries and forcing them to act according to societal norms, you're being a shitty person.
At least that's what it seems like based on my observations.
Sometimes the best thing you can do for your fat friend's life is to inform them they are fat.
You can be both humourous and caring.
Something tells me the friend is probably aware they’re fat. You know, with the chair breaking and all.
Aware and motivated to become healthy are 2 different things. Knowing you are fat, and your friends telling you you are fat are 2 vastly different motivational factors.
She's in denial. She knows she is fat, but she cant accept how fat she really is.
She cant come to the movies with us because "they have been shrinking the movie seats", we cant sit at booths in restaurants for the same reason.
Lots of excuses, even when we tell her thats ridiculous.
As terrible as it is, people at school were calling her "the behemoth" for a time, and making whale sounds when she walked in the hallway.
That stopped after we confronted them on her behalf. But damn.
Years ago at bbq, one of my buddies who was an over 250 lb 6'4" guy was sitting in one of these leaning back.
I threw a hadouken at him from over ten feet away. One of the chair legs broke with perfect timing, dropping him to the ground.
I’m not overweight but I can feel the memories getting stuck in one as a kid. I was the weird kid😆
shudders looking at wicker furniture
Nah they’ll get anyone if they’re a leaner
I was going to call it “my ex brother-in-laws mortal enemy”.
My somewhat large cousin sat on one of those when a group of us was at an airBnb. It absolutely exploded with one of the legs completely missing. The whole week he would randomly bend over, spread his butt cheeks and ask...anyone see anything in there?
(We did eventually find the missing leg under a shrub at the opposite end of the property).
It's not even about weight. The legs are designed to randomly drill into, or slip over slightly, whatever surface they're on, completely throwing the engineering behind it out of whack. They self destruct, when you least expect it.
Vergil's favorite chair.
Edit- "I am the storm that is approaching."
My grandpa fell from a ladder and landed in two of these stacked on each other. His neck/shoulders landed on one armrest, and his back landed on the other. The chairs broke, but they absorbed the impact energy enough to break his fall and leave him with zero injuries besides a few bruises. He literally had his life saved by chairs.
Maybe, but you'd be surprised what you can live through. I witnessed my grandfather around age 75 fall off our roof onto hard brick sidewalk below. He was trying to be handy without our permission, the typical old man thing where he wouldn't admit he shouldn't be wandering around on tin roofs at his age. Woke up to him hanging by his hands outside my bedroom window and he lost his strength before I could go out and get him a ladder. BAM! I thought surely he was dead. I ran outside and saw him groaning. He spent a day in the hospital and was fine to be released by night time.
Sounds like my grandpa lol. We had to tell him if he kept climbing the pecan tree instead of letting them fall to the ground to safely collect, we'd have to cut it down for his own good.
Friend of mine worked at a furniture store. One day a furious guy walks in demands a refund due to poor quality.
Turns out the poor fella, who was a bit on the heavy side had sat down naked on the plastic chair whereupon a the seat split in two. Courtesy of gravity, his ballsack falls down the crack that has been formed.
As anyone would have done noticing that the chair is collapsing, he got on his feet. The chair, relieved of the excessive weight immediately reversed to its original shape trapping the poor man’s balls on one side of the seat, and the rest of the body on the other. Fire brigade ambulance are called in and laughter ensues.
Luckily for the man with now very swollen balls, this occurred before the time of the smart phones.
A photo of this was floating around reddit for a while. A more ambitious person than myself could probably find it.
You know, I'm giving this one a pass. The mental image is disturbing enough.
I expected more from you, scrotum doctor emeritus.
Literally on reddit and found it with the first google search:
https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/s/iY6Ovjcp8F
Obvious NSFW
I read some of the replies.
As a guy, that thread is NSFL. I stopped reading after the butterfly knife post…
How did he get the beans above the Frank?
Frank and beans !
Me too, I have a vivid mental image already, I don't think a photograph could make it stronger.
I’ve learned that chat gpt is good at finding random photos if you can describe it well.
I tried to paste the comment describing the scenario in but it doesn’t like to look for photos like that
Googling "balls stuck in seat" provides photos of like 3 different instances of this happening
Edit: I kinda misread your last part, yea I can see what ChatGpt didn't help
Im sorry, but this guy, who is furious and demanding a refund tells your friend the whole story of how he got his balls stuck in the chair, the fire brigade and to come, and they laughed at him. Really
It sounds like bullshit or at least a conflation of stories.
I've heard a similar tale of testicle problems before from these patio chaise lounges that are like just horizontal rubbery plastic strips with small gaps in-between.
In all fairness, the store gave him a full refund for 4 chairs and let him keep the 3 ones not yet transformed into ballsack entrapment contraption, even though there was a big sticker on the side saying 100 kg maximum and this fella ways at least two seal cubs over that
Have you ever worked in retail. Angry customers share way to many details of why they are angry.
Did he have beans above the frank too?
This sounds gnarly as hell
It motivates me.
Whether they’re left out in the sun or not makes the difference.
At least with the non-white ones you can more easily see that the plastic has faded from that long-term UV exposure.
That shit will collapse on you and THEN stab you in your liver
If you want it, then you'll have to take it.
But you already knew that
I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROACHING
The strength is in the structure, like those weird curves in the legs, not the plastic.
Dependant upon those little rubber pads on the legs.
Brittle Fracture vs. Plastic Deformation
We had three on the lanai when we bought our current home. I broke all of them. Not a huge guy - about 185 and I didn't plop down on them either. The last one I was talking on my phone and then looking up at the pool cage on my back. They were NOT replaced with the same crap!
Shit designed to bend instead of break is really effing cool
MONOBLOC
The plastic gets brittle once it’s been outside in the sun long enough
Schrodinger's chair. It may or may not support you, you can't tell by looking at it and you won't know for sure until you sit on it.
We had a bench style one for 40 years. Until it finally broke.
Or under its government name -[CH2-CH2]n-
Flexible but not breakable. A good goal for life.
When they age the plastic gets very brittle. Come to think of it they seem pretty analogous to people's bones.
Orthopedic surgeon told me exactly this
I'm picturing an orthopedic surgeon saying, "Well you see, your bones are just like sun-damaged inexpensive injection mold patio chairs." That might leave a lot of patients scratching their heads.
Second at best. The first is 3310 for sure.
I always have to lean back onto two legs in my chairs. It's in my nature. But it's like Russian roulette with these plastic chairs. Some are plenty strong. Some fold quickly. Always a bit of a gamble.
funny story. my brother was tasked with taking some stuff from the kitchen to the bin, but my mother also pointed at a chair like this which was in the kitchen and said take that outside. He takes a while, so I go to investigate, he's left the rubbish outside and he's trying to chop up the chair to put it in the bin.
In my country this is considered as a weapon. Wielded mostly by drunk people.
"Perkeleen ranskalaiset muovituolit!" Same in english, loosely translated: "Damn french plastic chairs!" According to my late grandfather after he fell over backside when sitting in one of these.... I know they are not french, but when he said it, it was very convincing, straight from the heart....
It's rediculous how tough plastic is. Think about how much wood a chair needs for you to sit on it. And then look at these stoopid flimsy little shits and they can tank a 300 lb fat ass while he's still eating some more
Sweep the leg
Only the white plastic chair expects the Spanish Inquisition… and repels it.
I think they're perfectly balanced devices that any slight imperfection will result in complete destruction.
Especially strong when your balls are trapped.
Seen enough videos on here
I had several of those chairs for my patio.
The definition of “bend but don’t break.”
A firefighter friend told me about having to extricate and elderly mad from one of these after he sat in it with nothing but a t-shirt on. The slot in the bottom opened up a little and trapped him. They used bolt cutters to cut the chair open.
You gotta go to the Tao Te Ching for this one.
By yielding to everything it is broken by nothing.
Hahahaha I don’t know how they make it last so long
One of the few objects whose presence gives geoguessers absolutely no information about where in the world they might be.
Those chairs are a gamble. Before you sit down you'd better ask yourself, "Am I feeling lucky?"
My Great-Aunt was sitting on one of these chairs and was eating candies meant for us kids all morning. She tried to reach for another candy on a table slightly out of reach from her, and the chair gave up. It sent all these candy wrappers flying and she was lying right in the middle surrounded by broken pieces of the chair. My cousins upon seeing the scene ran away laughing while the adults helped her up. God bless her soul, but we still talk about that incident and laugh
Sits in the sun too long: I break like a saltine cracker
Throw it at someone's head: I am a brick and will knock you out.
I distinctly remember attempting to sit in one of those about two decades ago at a buddy’s house and backflipping into his koi pond instead. Fun times!
Ode to the Monobloc: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwApFGwMIMQ
I once saw someone slow motion fall out of one of theses because they were leaning back and one of the legs gave. Hilarious 🤣