In the 1980s I was once shooting pool in a very redneck bar in Baldwin County, way South Alabama, against a very obvious gay gentleman who had just retired from academia and moved from New Hampshire. He told me that people were just as nice as can be, and he was able to play golf year round inexpensively. I was honestly surprised that an older gay Yankee was loving it there.
As bad as that attitude may sound to us, that would actually be a correct one. They have their options, and they express that option among themselves. They believe it's something wrong, but they don't do any harm to the guy, and they accept he cannot change. Nobody should force them what to think, whether we agree with their opinions or not, the point is to accept/tolerate somebody who is different.
Gay man says everyone there is very nice and you still just have to think that you’re bigotry towards southerners is right and that you’re better than them, so you dream up a scenario where they are all homophobic.
Foxworthy basically created and already dominated this humor.
This summarize gonna learn to swim.
We got a tree out back and he wants to climate.
Dad won't let me drive his carcass I hit a deer.
That cattle scratch your eyes.
You can't cauliflower anything but beautiful.
Lemme bayou a drink.
Yes, I'm still here; I'll beer til 10 o'clock.
Don't stand there assassin me boy!
No desert for me, thanks. I'm awful.
Let's start afar to keep us warm.
Couldn't hear him, but annuity was saying.
I know we just met, baby, but I think we automate.
Anarchist her mom, anarchist her sister, anarchist her other sister...
You think urinal lotta trouble now? Wait 'til your father gets home!
It ain't been nuisance 1962.
India 'vent of an emergency...
I drove through his fence cuz he did navigate for some reason.
This New Hampshire does taste good.
Go get the boysenberry him 'fore the cops show up.
Bulimia don't wanna have to do this...
...There's literally an entire book's worth. Called The Redneck Dictionary.
Here in the UK it is called The Uxbridge English Dictionary and turns up as part of a panel show called Im Sorry I havent a Clue which has been going for near on 60 years . Now Im going to have to buy the Redneck Dictionary too ;-) brilliant.
As a non fucking english native speaker I hate my fucking t9 which made me look for „Formication” in Google and images appeared.
That’s my new Word of the day
The joke is that with her accent, her statement “It is perfect for an occasion like this” sounds like “it is perfect fornication like this,” which is mildly obscene nonsense.
EDIT: when I wrote this comment I did not know formication was an actual word for the sensation of ants crawling on your skin. I thought it was just a typo and a nonsense word. I am delighted to find out it is a valid word and means something similar to what I envisioned.
This reminds me of an old bit the local oldies radio morning crew used to do in the 90s.
Two of the crew would adopt these southern accents and call themselves “The Mattress Brothers.” They’d have a “Word of the Day” and it’d go something like this:
“Well, brother, the word of the day is FASCINATE!”
“FASCINATE?”
“Yessiree!”
“Can you use FASCINATE in a sentence?”
“I sure can! Well, my neighbor Tina, she bought herself a fancy new blouse.”
“Alright, alright.”
“Now that blouse had ten buttons.”
“Woo-ee!”
“That’s right! Now, Tina has never been a skinny little thing. She’s a sturdy gal, that’s for sure. So when she went to wear that blouse with ten buttons, she could only FASCINATE!”
It reminded me of the joke about Johnny very proudly sharing his new word 'contagious' with the class. When the teacher asks him to use it in a sentence, Johnny says 'Dad was watching the neighbour paint his fence with a one inch brush yesterday, and he said "that'll take the contagious!"'
Woof. I remember seeing her around COVID, thought she was just this sweet little Appalachian girl. Clicked on a random link on her TikTok. Was not expecting that other content.
She was much more hush-hush about it before. Then her employer got arrested for murder. After she presumably quit that job she started to promote more heavily.
Yeah it was more-so I wanted to see if she had some more long format videos on YouTube. What I really wanted was to find her DBZ/Star Wars sound bites; she just recites popular lines with her thick ass accent.
YouTube, Patreon, IG, sure. Didn't think I was going to see OF.
I can point to a relative for almost every one of his jokes. As far as I know, nobody got their nipple bitten off by a beaver, but all the less specific ones I have relatives for.
Not completely true. She has posted a few topless photos the last couple of months but has a ton of sheer top photos that don't really conceal anything.
One of my mates used this as the opening of a best man's speech 20 years ago. "Fornication!" paused, checked his notes again... "For an occasion such as this it is blah blah blah".
I've spent my whole life with this accent. I can tell you that people have told me over the years a various assortment of reasons why they like it or attracted to it, barring all the "your accent is shit" comments...the leading contender in my book is it sounds authentic and also innocent. Just my experience from other people's reaction.
I DJ’d a wedding years ago where the best man started his speech with, “Fornication… for-an-occasion like this…’ and he immediately held the audience in the palm of his hand for the rest of the speech.
I haven't lived in Central PA since 1994 and a "hain't" slipped out of my mouth the other day. Took me by surprise and my wife definitely called me out on it.
i asked dad to make a sentence using the word 'contagious'. he saw the neighbour painting the fence with a 1" brush and said that's going to take the contagious.
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L.A. eyes with a W.V. haircut
Lower Alabama
My condolences.
There are literally only 2 outcomes from spending time in lower Alabama, you’ll meet insanely nice and giving people or you’ll be murdered
In the 1980s I was once shooting pool in a very redneck bar in Baldwin County, way South Alabama, against a very obvious gay gentleman who had just retired from academia and moved from New Hampshire. He told me that people were just as nice as can be, and he was able to play golf year round inexpensively. I was honestly surprised that an older gay Yankee was loving it there.
Most of Baldwin County is really part of Panhandle Florida. Retirees, beach bums, etc. You get an hour away form the coast and vibes shift a bit.
They still talk mad shit behind his back though.
The older church ladies, to each other, "He can't help how he is, bless his heart!"
As bad as that attitude may sound to us, that would actually be a correct one. They have their options, and they express that option among themselves. They believe it's something wrong, but they don't do any harm to the guy, and they accept he cannot change. Nobody should force them what to think, whether we agree with their opinions or not, the point is to accept/tolerate somebody who is different.
Thank you for writing this , nowadays everyone tends to do just the opposite on social media. Live and let live.
My take is that we live in such a validation-dependant society right now, that difference of opinion is seen as an attack on one's beliefs
Oh my word 🥺
Gay man says everyone there is very nice and you still just have to think that you’re bigotry towards southerners is right and that you’re better than them, so you dream up a scenario where they are all homophobic.
Why not both?
And my congratulations
For them cousins that got hitched?
Roll Tide!
Go GATORS!
Do alligators inbreed too?
How do you think crocs got so big, dumb, and strong?
‘Cuz they got all them teeth and no toothbrush?
Them thar cousins?
Had history teacher in High School that loved to tell people he was from L.A. Lower Alabama that is. Ha Ha. Got old really quick.
You're still laughing at it though
And still thinking about it years later
Did he study at the USA or University of South Alabama.
Go jags bb
Where i live its the same except its lower Anderson
Nah she’s definitely Kentucky
She’s 100% from Kentucky and she’s hilarious
Ah! The Lana Del Rey
Like Bubba always said, never trust a woman with bangs. If they’re hiding their forehead, what else are they hiding? 🧐
Didn't know horses could talk
Sounds like the start of a Cake song
Short Bangs and Long Eyelashes
'Dream of fornication', covering the Peppers ;)
She's the mountain mama john denver was singing about
Thats a filter most likely but I was not aware of the filters being able to give you lazy eye too.
progress!
The eyes are a filter for sure
Nah this is haesicks on Instagram. She's actually pretty funny follow on the gram
Oh she's the girl from the 'how are some people gay bro' meme
Yup. Love her, she's funny.
Just looked her up — gorgeous natural eyes, for sure but I still think this is a filter of some kind.
Momonyms
Where's mom and the kids?
"Oh, momonyms went to the store."
Arn
You wearin that shirt tonight?
Yeah gotta arn the wrinkles out first.
Or “ern”if you’re from Baltimore
I just wanted an excuse to post this video.
The exaggerated
AARON. EARNED. AN IRON. URN.
Daym. WTF we really talk like that?
gets me every fucking time.
The guy who verified with a nod that it’s correct cracks me up lol
Just an immediate "Yeah."
It's the dude presumably lying on a couch in the background just going "Iron iron iron iron" that gets me.
He’s face, the realization, and then disbelief that the others can’t hear it is always so funny. 🤣
One of my favorite clips. Bro unintentionally put on a whole linguistics lesson in 12 seconds.
Gotta be one of my favorite videos online ever
Classic video, will never be not funny.
I rewatch this video every time it's posted. Fucking hilarious
https://youtu.be/Esl_wOQDUeE?si=gvYDQl37TZhQZ9WR
I'll use this as an excuse to post this video.
Earl.
What’s the car doing in the shop?
Had to put er in for an earl change.
Rectum
Damn near killed'em
or an Ol' change.
Are you coming with us to get lunch?
Namaste
Huh?
Namaste here thanks
I’m currently wearing my favorite pajama shirt.
It says, “Namaste in bed.”
I'm going to stay?
Foxworthy basically created and already dominated this humor.
...There's literally an entire book's worth. Called The Redneck Dictionary.
Here in the UK it is called The Uxbridge English Dictionary and turns up as part of a panel show called Im Sorry I havent a Clue which has been going for near on 60 years . Now Im going to have to buy the Redneck Dictionary too ;-) brilliant.
I spent a few years in Philly and it took me three times as long as I lived there to shake “jeet?” “No, ‘jdyou?”
(Did you eat? No, did you?)
“Mayonnaise a lot of good looking girls here tonight!”
Innuendo
Hey man, a bird just flew innuendo.
Geet yet?
Jwan'smore?
Mammogram.
"Hey, where did Granny and Mam-maw go to?"
"Mammogram at the flea market."
“Yawanto, yustacould, and sensuous.”
“Yeah, sensuous up could ya get me a beer.”
Also "wallago"
I just got you a beer a wallago.
Can you dance?
Well I yustacould
Give me a minute and I mightcould again.
Which comedian was this, Jeff Foxworthy ? Funny skit.
Ja’eatyet. Yawanto?
In shame I ask for the meaning.
Yawanto = you want to
Yustacould = used to could (used to be able)
Sensuous = since you was
Foxworthy reference in the wild is surprising nowadays
Mayonnaise a lotta people in these comments missing good Foxworthy references
a’ight.
As a non fucking english native speaker I hate my fucking t9 which made me look for „Formication” in Google and images appeared. That’s my new Word of the day
The joke is that with her accent, her statement “It is perfect for an occasion like this” sounds like “it is perfect fornication like this,” which is mildly obscene nonsense.
Thank you.
There's a lot of funnies like that with the English language. This sub is pretty funny /r/BoneAppleTea
fornication = for an occasion
A very specific kind of occasion. Usually reserved for a party of two. Usually.
Well, now, let's not be excluding people. That'd be rude
I knew that was the joke but I still couldn't make out what she was saying lol. So thank you
Lol, now i hear it
Like my Japanese friend once said. “Flirting is a virtue”. What she meant to say is “flattering is a virtue”
Formication is when you get covered in ants.
EDIT: when I wrote this comment I did not know formication was an actual word for the sensation of ants crawling on your skin. I thought it was just a typo and a nonsense word. I am delighted to find out it is a valid word and means something similar to what I envisioned.
Not a laminated bench top, interesting.
Formica Nation Rise Up!
It's the sensation of insects crawling on one's skin, minus actual insects.
r/TodayILearned
When you have the illusion of sensations like ants crawling under your skin, not actually getting covered in ants
Is it not a hallucination?
Yes
Close...it's when you have the sensation that ants are crawling on you. Not a term for when someone actually has ants on them.
Another fun fact: it shares the same root as formic acid, the primary toxic ingredient of ant venom.
[deleted]
I ‘ppreciates ya.
If it makes you feel better, I am a native English speaker and didn't get the joke until I listened to it. Reading it on mute didn't land.
"Is the children learning?"
....No Mr. President. No they isn't.
“Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?”
― George W. Bush
The voters isn't either.
No no, I think I had a funny response to him on this.
"I dunno George, is they? Is they be learnin much?"
This reminds me of an old bit the local oldies radio morning crew used to do in the 90s.
Two of the crew would adopt these southern accents and call themselves “The Mattress Brothers.” They’d have a “Word of the Day” and it’d go something like this:
“Well, brother, the word of the day is FASCINATE!”
“FASCINATE?”
“Yessiree!”
“Can you use FASCINATE in a sentence?”
“I sure can! Well, my neighbor Tina, she bought herself a fancy new blouse.”
“Alright, alright.”
“Now that blouse had ten buttons.”
“Woo-ee!”
“That’s right! Now, Tina has never been a skinny little thing. She’s a sturdy gal, that’s for sure. So when she went to wear that blouse with ten buttons, she could only FASCINATE!”
“Yee haw!”
“I’m Earl!”
“And I’m also Earl!”
“AND WE’RE THE MATTRESS BROTHERS!”
Just dumb shit. But it made me laugh as a kid.
It reminded me of the joke about Johnny very proudly sharing his new word 'contagious' with the class. When the teacher asks him to use it in a sentence, Johnny says 'Dad was watching the neighbour paint his fence with a one inch brush yesterday, and he said "that'll take the contagious!"'
Fasten eight?
Yes
That’s Haesicks on X. She’s like a funny Appalachian angel human.
She also has an OF. I don't envy her husband though. That is weird.
TIL but I'm only seeing a Fansly with cosplay lewds not nude stuff.
Woof. I remember seeing her around COVID, thought she was just this sweet little Appalachian girl. Clicked on a random link on her TikTok. Was not expecting that other content.
Did not know she was married.
She was much more hush-hush about it before. Then her employer got arrested for murder. After she presumably quit that job she started to promote more heavily.
Most Appalachia shit I've ever heard
Lmao wtf
No link on tiktok is random.
Yeah it was more-so I wanted to see if she had some more long format videos on YouTube. What I really wanted was to find her DBZ/Star Wars sound bites; she just recites popular lines with her thick ass accent.
YouTube, Patreon, IG, sure. Didn't think I was going to see OF.
In Eastern Kentucky dollars, she's probably rich as shit so I doubt he minds that much.
Second word of the day: Mayonnaise
(Walk in to a crowded place) "Mayonnaise alot of people here."
Thanks Jeff Foxworthy
If you recognize a Jeff Foxworthy joke, you might be a redneck.
I can point to a relative for almost every one of his jokes. As far as I know, nobody got their nipple bitten off by a beaver, but all the less specific ones I have relatives for.
If you are watching this show on a working TV that's sitting on top of a non-working TV you might be a redneck.
I was...
I remember my uncle took the tube out of floor model TV and put another smaller TV inside. Does that count?
Damn, I'm impressed. That might be too much effort for a redneck.
If /r/redneckengineering has taught me anything, it's that they'll put in an A+ effort for a D+ product - but it 'works'(?)
Nah, I just inhabit the south.
Jeet yet?
Yaout to
Naw jou?
Wijadija.
Hey Bill, you didn't happen to bring a wrench wijadija?
I told my old lady sensuous up get me a beer
Hey, turn the other way! European on my boot!
Innuendo. "Hey man, there's a bird flew innuendo!"
Mayonnaise on an escalator
Mayonnaise kids runnin all over the place
No no no, you gotta remove "there's" for that sentence to be grammatically correct. The "aise" in mayonnaise is the proper way to say "there's"
In case anyone’s wondering, yes. She has one. Yes, I paid for it. No, it wasn’t really worth it.
It's getting there though. Recently. I heard.
Is that a no on the butthole picture
None of that or topless or anything. Just her in swimsuits/thongs at best.
She just started doing topless and nudes now.
Not completely true. She has posted a few topless photos the last couple of months but has a ton of sheer top photos that don't really conceal anything.
I don't know why you people insist on paying for OF, a basic google search will answer all your questions 100% free of charge.
soogsx looks very similar to her. Also, try bunkrr instead of paying ;)
Thanks now my phone has aids
you where not kidding
Is it ever?
And if you want these kind it's cali fornication
“For an occassion”….. that’s almost like Hodor
Oh man imagine. “Fornication fornication!” Ugh right Forny. That’s right I guess.
One of my mates used this as the opening of a best man's speech 20 years ago. "Fornication!" paused, checked his notes again... "For an occasion such as this it is blah blah blah".
Do "dictate" next!
She got dictate or nine times on her prom night
That works really well with an Irish accent.
"This dictate like shit!"
First pass was without audio - just read the subtitling.
It was.. jarring when I turned on the audio.
She is so gorgeous, and then you hear her say words 😬 like you said, that accent is so jarring lol
This kinda accent has always left me proper weak at the knees, and I cannot understand why. Maybe I should blame True Blood.
I've spent my whole life with this accent. I can tell you that people have told me over the years a various assortment of reasons why they like it or attracted to it, barring all the "your accent is shit" comments...the leading contender in my book is it sounds authentic and also innocent. Just my experience from other people's reaction.
I DJ’d a wedding years ago where the best man started his speech with, “Fornication… for-an-occasion like this…’ and he immediately held the audience in the palm of his hand for the rest of the speech.
She kinda looks like Soogsx, who can also talk about the word of the day.
Shit I thought it was her.
Another Word of the Day: Marinara
Damn, that car's going 140 Marinara
Appalachian Hillbilly that has been living in civilized society for thirty years…
The other day, I told my wife of many many years “UstaDidntBe” and she looked at me like I had three heads.
I haven't lived in Central PA since 1994 and a "hain't" slipped out of my mouth the other day. Took me by surprise and my wife definitely called me out on it.
What does that even mean?
Grew up in WV. My grandmother would say things like “be ther drectly” in this exact accent.
https://www.youtube.com/@HaeSicks/shorts
Steph Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if…
Jeff Foxworthy enters the chat
She might be his grandchild
What an amazing pair of eyes.
That lifeless look behind her eyes is how you know she's legit.
Propaganda; When an Englishman gets a good look at something.
Ustacould. “Do you know how to dance? Well, I ustacould. Give me a minute and I mightcould again.”
Jeff foxworthy did it first. Mayonnaise.
Mayonnaise a lotta people here.
Initiate
My wife ate a sandwich initiate a bag of chips
Her right eye is the real one.
My brother's got 5 cars and he's damn near rectum all
Reintarnation ... when you're reincarnated as a hillbilly.
As a person from Appalachia, I despise these comments.
"Daaaaaaang!"
-Joe Dirt
Lana Del Redneck is killing it
Duitcher
Duitcher mama tells ya.
for an occasion = fornication 🤣
Plowable
Who is this
i asked dad to make a sentence using the word 'contagious'. he saw the neighbour painting the fence with a 1" brush and said that's going to take the contagious.
Boy, is she cute.
Would you like to fornicate her?
Contagious. Granny’s got her truck stuck in the mud out front. We better go help her or it’ll take that contagious to get out herself.
Omelette this one slide.
I’d def say the NC/TN mountain border