I'm out! Finally! I bought a new house without an HOA. my current house's HOA sent me a goodbye present. A violation of trim that needed to be painted- at the top of the 2 story house. In December. In Chicago. They told me I could leave it open until May and the buyers would have to paint it, which would require me giving them a credit. Fuck the HOA I slabbed some paint on the trim. Fuck HOAs I'm so fucking done with them.
They gave you the lovely gift of hating them even more than you already did! Fitting for the season.
God bless us, everyone. Except HOA despots.
But, they sound attentive and giving. I really do think you should give them another chance.
š
Times like these I ask myself would I use a drone to drop bags of dog shit on their roofs every night to fill the void all the hate this created in my soul? The answer is yes, yes I would.
Brb. Checking Amazon for retractable claw attachments for drones.
Not sure what kind of drone you got, but this works pretty well
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08RSGQBPW
If Amazon has shit-dropping drones, this gonna be the best Xmas ever!!
We need ādrone dropā as a delivery option for zoo-doo, glitter bombs, and bags of dicks, where the drone has a claw bucket and literally just dumps the delivery on the doorstep.
Are there zoos that still sell Zoo Doo?Ā I'm in the DC area & my neighbor used to buy it for his garden.Ā It worked but it was incredibly stinky, even for me who spends a lot of time on horse farms.Ā
Just make your own.
Yep! Woodland Park Zoo (Seattle) still does Zoo Doo! I have never been able to afford Zoo Doo so I kept rabbits and chickens. Less exotic, but produced on site. š
Iām not sure exactly how these work, but arenāt there exhaust or air pipes for plumbing that open up to the roof? Wouldnāt some fish accidentally dropped down them by a drone be likely to cause a horrible smell?
No those vents are to the sewer.
Specifically, They connect to drains that have a trap that prevent gasses and smells coming into the house.
Yes they connect to the sinks and such, no dropping a fish down them won't work.
Boo. Well I guess the chimney it is then.
Fish oil pillsā¦
But would those create a smell?
My understanding is that they get pretty gnarly when they are opened upā¦
Not inside the house. They already stink because theyāre on the septic/sewer side of the line.
Bait catapult (fishing) bird seed & mealworms with a bit of butter to help it stick - up onto roofs of targets
At night, as much as you can
Birds will be attracted, noisy, fighty, shitting flocks of them while the food lasts
lol same
If you can get inside someoneās home, put raw seafood or shellfish inside their curtain rods. Theyāll smell it for weeks and never source it. Not encouraging breaking into someoneās home, please be invited first lol
Haha yes! A million years ago I worked with this hag that pissed me off over something, I dont remember lol, so I stashed an open can of tuna fish in oil on the floor behind her desk in her office. That was fun.
I'd eat the tuna, but save the oil, and use that. Also sardines works well, and they're stronger smelling, I know I love sardines. Also find a pizza shop and tell them you need the the liquid from anchovies, which is another very strong smelling type of fish.
Yessss š
You can get canned anchovies in oil from the grocery store too (itās one of my many baits for stubborn customers in TNR traps!)
I like the way you think..
Go for the chimney if they have one
Sounds like they were fucking with you on purpose. Like they were trying to run you off. And it worked, cuz you're outta there. Too bad you can't get back at them some way. I don't live there and I want to get back at them!
https://preview.redd.it/go675no0596g1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=deae412a14b357e60187ecd8b88eec689d38489a
I read somewhere about getting beef bouillon cubes, dissolve in water, freeze in ice cube tray. Throw in neighbors yard, animals will destroy that yard eating the dirt.
No idea if it works
Edit: I love you devious bastards!
Iāve always wanted to coat someoneās yard in instant mashed potato flakes and let their sprinklers do the rest.
Better option is powdered milk. Don't even need sprinklers for that one, morning dew will hydrate it enough to both attract animals and stink to high heaven if it gets warm.
Oooh, the moron who won't turn off the sprinklers during water restrictions.
Wait... what would that do? Besides make a weird looking, suspiciously familiar looking mess?
Birds are gonna shit all over their yard when theyāre done eating a bunch of potatoes.
If you ever want to be a dick to your neighbor, throwing a shit load of bird seed all over their yard is a good way to do it, especially if you live in a place with seagulls.
Wouldnt the birds also shit all over my yard too if they are my neighbor? Or are we talking houses that are not exactly my next door neighbor?
[deleted]
They call that Fowl-lateral
This is genius. What the birds dont eat will turn into a crap ton of plants they didnt want.
Mint seeds. Theyāll never get rid of it, however, every time they mow, it will smell delightful.
Mulberry tree or bush near wherever the neighbor parks. Birds love āem, and i understand their poop will become multicolored and leave permanent stains on cars.
I heard a large amount of flour does the trick and basically turns into a paste that hardens and then you rip out the grass to get rid of it.
Also cheap and easy to spread/obtain.
I prefer weed:grass killer frozen ice cubes , then you just check a couple dozen all over the yard ā¦ Fred didnāt pay, he fucked around and found out
Edit : dont do that
lol Iām a teacher in an area where senior pranks are huge, and years ago some seniors used fertilizer to write āgreasy gonadsā on the lawn of the school right outside the principalās second story office window. That might be fun to recreate. š
We had a 4th grader write his own name with herbicide right outside the principal's window at ours. They forced the kid to replant it all himself, by hand.
Daaang. 4th grade. And herbicide! Startinā āem young these days.
The dew and water can create aerosolized hydrochloric acid. Please don't do this
Thx :) im gonna edit
Could you elaborate? I fail to see how this is a more dangerous application than applying directly per instruction (regardless of method: granules thatāll dissolve in water over time [read as the same basically the same thjng], or as a solution in water sprayed on directly).
Flower bombs are delicious too
You could look to see the if they or any family members own a small business in the area and hire a lawyer to find and slap them with ada lawsuits
Easy to get back at them, you have all their rules. One year after you left go back and start breaking as many as possible for the people that pushed you out, they get fined, disputes arise, good luck sorting that all out.
Also plant bamboo at the fascists running the hoa and rock salt seems great to spell some texts in grass.
Sign them up for everything online.
I'll cost you a few nights but boy it must be awesome.
How could they force you to give someone else money to fix an issue on property that would no longer be yours?
Because that is when they hold the most leverage. Some HOAs require an inspection before a house goes to closing. In theory, that may be a good idea so the buyer doesnāt get hit with an unknown violation that wasnāt their doing, but only if the HOA signs a document stating the house is free of violations and keeps pictures so they canāt deny that it was done after they moved in.
This, state laws require a resale packet for a resale of home in an hoa.
I adore your paint contraption! And congratulations on the freedom.
Once upon a time I lived in an HOA condominium complex with my ex, and her teenage son who bought himself a car. (You can see where this is going.) We would put one car in the garage, and park two in the driveway. Despite them both being on the pavement they complained that the tailing vehicle was ātoo closeā to the sidewalk. (Imagine the orchestration to get the garage car out), So we parked the outside cars side by side. Then got a violation because the wheels were just barely on the grass.
This was only an issue in the winter as street parking was vehemently prohibited November 1st to April 15th. Regardless of actual snow. Fuck HOAās.
Go buy some wild mint seeds a toss in hoa rep yards as you leave
Mint is really good at getting rid of any other plant and spreads slowly, nice!
they said it had to be painted, they didn't say it had to be painted well
Yep. I slapped some paint on it and am done with their bullshit.
What dumb buyer lets the seller fix something? You always get the seller credit.
Iām curious. Was this some management company that told you to paint in the middle of winter?
Yeah our HOA Is a management company.
50% chance it's westward360
Shh, he has another long stick with a heater up there. Promise.
If I were a billionaire, I'd just buy up houses in HOAs in then immediately flip them at a substantial loss to f*** over the "but my property values" fools.
If i was Musk level of rich i would buy random houses in HOAs, squish them with my best in the world lawyers and dissolve them. And troll those "muh property value" tiny dictators.
If one were Musk level of rich, that would work.
Although at that level of rich it'd be tempting to just try to buy off state legislatures to ban the ability of HOAs to pull the kind of enforcement BS that lands us here in the first place, and to require localities to take over the kind of common utilities (mainly roads and water-management facilities) that lead to HOAs being mandatory many places.
Probably wouldn't need them at all, but if they only existed to manage voluntary amenities, some communities might still want them for a clubhouse/community pool/etc.
Wth is that picture
That's my painting pole to reach the roofline.
Ok, to people that aren't you, the highlight seems to be the snow that looks like someone stepped in a pile of shit and then walked around a bit
Yeah I get that. I am blinded by the rage towards the HOA.
I thought they were chaining you down lol
Oh man, they want you to paint it?
Well sure. Why not. Just slap some paint on it right now in the freezing cold and call it done.
This was the Universe confirming your decision. Have a wonderful Christmas free from legally backed Karens and Kens, lawyers, emails, newsletters, dues, and patrols.
You did a great job of taking the pic of the paint job. Oh wait, no you failed.
Looks like a hobbled together paint roller extension to perform said (high-up) painting, and he provided context. Have you tried using your imagination to fill in the tiny blanks here?
It stands to reason if some baby is going to cry about the big meany HOA that they would be able to take a picture to show us or donāt take one at all. Itās worthless.
Found the HOA council member lol
Sounds like the president to me.
Donāt even live in an HOA. But nice try. Just would be nice if people held themselves to the same accountability they want in others.
He took a photo of the tool he fabricobbled together to paint, while going into a description of what he needed to get done. You can even see the roller tray on the bush. Are you really that stupid or just brain damaged?
We can disagree but no need to submit to name calling and insults.
āOh wait, no you failed.ā Insults you say?
The hoa is a terrorist organization
Run ā¦ donāt look back !!
OP did exactly what the HOA wanted. Oh how we love malicious compliance. You will enjoy telling that story forever. LOL. šŖšØšļø šš»
Best gift you got is getting the F out of HOA
I will never live/buy in a HOA.
Wait a minuteā¦ youāre not going anywhere until those dirty foot prints in the snow are cleaned up. Article 34.6a of the HOA bylaws clearly states that no footprints from any source shall remain visible after thirty minutes from being made. Subject to substantial fines.
Your first mistake was buying a home in an HOA.
One that he is correcting.
my brightness is down and your title made me think they had chained you up in a yard
Do the classic signing them up online for Scientology and any other religious practice to receive junk mail , itās petty and low stakes
I'm curious, what neighborhood in Chicago has an HOA, or is it in a suburb?
If you're bored on a random day after moving into your new house, drive past the problematic board members houses and turn them in for every little violation.
I fucking HATE my HOA. Proud of you š„¹
I feel youāre pain! So happy for you! They suck!
Fuck the HOA I slabbed some paint on the trim. Fuck HOAs I'm so fucking done with them.
Bars
Told the wife next house definitely no HOA, if it has one donāt even show it to me!
Just be glad you're away from those ass-hats.
https://preview.redd.it/ztgz5uquis6g1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b076ebbff0b6c4305bbc180f4ebcc599b6b0d828
I just laughed so hard when I realized what that was.
You should bill them for illegal dumping on personal property
A lovely parting gift
This looks almost like my old neighborhood
I like how the comments go from mild pranks and escalate into dangerous and harmful acts.
I'm so glad this group exists... HOA should be outlawed.
Found a great deal house I wanted. Was going to move forward then noticed it was in a hoa. Nevermind.
And to use language you understand and are familiar with - they will fucking sue you and fucking win a money judgment.
I'm surprised that this wouldnt fall under the HOA's responsibility to fix since it relates to neighborhood ascetics
Can someone please explain to me how the "Land of the Free and Home of the Brave" is so overrun with HOAs which are pretty much the antithesis of freedom of speech and expression. Until recently, you guys never shut up about those things but apparently it's perfectly reasonable for your a-hole neighbours to be able to dictate what colour flowers you get to plant.
You are practically the only country with the freaking things and definitely the only place they get away with such insane overreach.
Every single person living in an HOA neighborhood did so voluntarily with full knowledge of what is required to live there. They have to sign that they received a copy of the rules as part of the sale. HOAās have been around and publicly vilified for decades. Itās like smokers saying they arenāt aware that cigarettes can give you lung cancer, then bitch when theyāre coughing up blood.
And you do know that the US is 50 different states with thousands of different counties and 10ās of thousands of different municipalities. We are perfectly free to live in anywhere we please.
Absolutely none of what you said answered my question of why people who supposedly value individual freedom more than anyone else on earth are so horny for HOAs.
Many people don't exactly have a choice. This is due to the fact that it's becoming required at local levels (at the county and municipal) for the developers to make all new developments into an H.O.A to be able to get approved. In so many cases now buying outside of an H.O.A.can mean a two plus hour drive, just to get to where they work, and another two hours to get home again. Which can add up to five plus hours of drive time. So employment can heavily dictate where someone lives. It's not as cut and dried as many tries to make it out to be. Its also a bit more involved than many gives thought or credit to. That doesn't count that our freedoms has been eroded slowly over the last say fourty five to fifty years. This has lent to giving H.O.A.s and other similar groups virtually unrestricted authority and power over others.
I did see that when I was looking up the reasons. I think it said 30% of detached homes total and 80% of new builds.
That's brutal because it's so damn dystopian and -UnAmerican" as a concept, I was more interested in how it came to be.
One more reason I'm glad I'm North of the 49th.
Sadly they do exist in Canada, although sometimes under a different name. They're also growing worldwide. It's no longer just here in the U.S. As for the origins, that goes back to 1905 and in California where the1rst was created. The purpose was to keep out the undesirables, or people who weren't and Protestant. Then later on those with obvious disabilities. You are right those they are not very American.
Worse yet though are the H.O.A. management companies, as they're in it for a profit, and will have people ride around looking violations, which they collect a fee for. Some will even have their own added set of rules to create violations to collect "fines" for. They can be even more predatory, and even more tyrannical than what the actual H.O.A., and the board itself can be. The H.O.A.s has also been notable for harassing farmers and those just outside of their borders, and will even try exerting authority over non member properties. I could never live in one, let alone move knowingly near one.
I live in Canada. They may exist but they're vanishingly uncommon, I have never lived anywhere that has them nor met anyone who lived in one. And even where they do exist their powers are vastly curtailed by municipal and provincial laws.
Must be Festivus!!! Sounds like an airing of grievances is in order, then on to the feats of strength!
Kansas City did that to us. Wanted paint on the house trim in January. Got mad when we didn't scrape before painting.
All the trim got replaced in the spring anyways, as it was mostly rotten.
All because of the HOA busy bodies calling the city on us for not instantly fixing up a house with 20 years of neglect.
Silly us for fixing things like the plumbing and electrical first.
Would have been fun to use a paintball gun!
I hope that's not your front yard. Eew!
that's literally a 200 dollar credit...
I truly believe that HOA's are full of people that were not popular in high school and suffer a HUGE inferiority complex.
When we were house hunting I immediately crossed off the list any home with an HOA. People think that without an HOA the yard will be overgrown and the house in disrepair. No, thatās what code enforcement is for. REASONABLE enforcement, like making sure your grass isnāt a foot tall, or you have shutters falling off the house. HOAās enforce stupid crap like not being allowed to park in your own driveway, or what color you can paint your house. No thank you.
Why would anyone ever buy a house where there is an HOA?
Wife and I tried to make a new community under our business. We had an HOA contract drawn up, and it was entirely based on make your home yours. But if someone leaves the trash out and you notice and have a problem with it, YOU help them take it up. No fines for BS. The only hitch was to get custom building designs approved, so no one could try building without an engineer looking at it.
I hate the traditional HOA as well. Better to use it to force community help than to use it to force costs on families because of not having the spoons to pull their cans up or paint their trimā¦
People in hoa were bulled there whole life and are finally getting there revenge on everyone they can
Ya.. I will never ever live in HOA. Ever.