Jesus. This is beyond delusional. If OOP’s mother is losing her mobility, it’s not “fatphobic doctors” that are the issue here. Fat acceptance is a fucking cult and nothing can change my mind on that.
One of my biggest issues with the FA cult is how they’re not just content with accepting their own fatness, but have a relentless need to push their agenda onto others. I have many family members that struggle/have struggled with obesity, definitely not “call up Dr. Now ASAP” levels of obesity but obesity nonetheless, and I can’t imagine being this callous and self-centered if they ever opened up to me about genuine health concerns. This is just cruelty.
I mean, healthy weight people can still fall victim to fatlogic, unfortunately - and I’m also taking OOP’s (mom’s) statement with a grain of salt because our perception as a society of what “fat” really is are so warped, even to people outside FA-land.
It's honestly so much worse to me that OOP isn't fat. If she stays in the normal or even just overweight weight range, OOP will likely never have to deal with any of the issues she's so gleefully encouraging her mother to worsen with unhealthy lifestyle choices. And yet OOP continues to berate her mother and self-aggrandize via Instagram. There's something so diabolical about that.
I agree. Holy grifting! It’s one thing if you’re so in denial that you have a problem that you can’t handle others losing weight. FAs are ridiculously entitled about others’ bodies, versus you look at this sub and it’s 99% “you can be fat if you really want, but you have to accept the consequences of your actions from that because that’s the cold hard reality of what being fat is like”. But fine. I get it, they can’t handle anyone proving that weight loss is possible and that it makes you feel better. If they wanna keep being the “this is fine” dog in a house on fire while their joints wear down at an alarming rate and eventually it starts destroying their organs, okay.
This is just crazy to me if OOP is thin and so sold on FA lies that now they expect someone to fuck up their health in order to accommodate a thin person’s feelings. Not because it hurts their feelings to see someone lose weight when they are fat themselves but because they couldn’t handle not feeling like they failed to be a Good Fat Ally.
Another messed-up thing: if OOP really isn't a confirmed fat (or just not fat enough according to a FA), then they'll never be accepted into the club, anyway. Not really.
You know the mom is actually like morbidly obese too because these people’s threshold for what they consider fat is crazy. They will be 5’2 and 200 lbs and say they aren’t fat with a straight face
If fat people are promoting fat activism I can sorta understand where it comes from. Thin people promoting it is the weirdest thing ever to me. I wonder how many of them want to be "one of the good ones" and how many of them want to just seem even more thin by comparison.
I have never seen a non-fat person promoting fat activism who wasn’t in it for the money. Every single time they are trying to sell some program or supplement or some shit, or their own dietetics services. It’s all a grift.
I was on Twitter when that Tess Holliday cover came out. Everyone and their grandma was reposting it. It's not immediately full-blown fat activism, sure, but everyone on my timeline was all "yas queen slay". That was the most social pressure I ever felt to conform.
Good on you! I'm down 62lbs as of this week and fuck me do I move around more easily, but I remember the first 20lbs being the milestone that I noticed the biggest difference, and it's what made me realise it was worth it to keep going. I used to get winded bending over because my stomach constricted my breathing. Sweating after walking for more than 10 minutes. I spent the other day painting the skirting boards in my room and couldn't believe how much easier it was. Didn't need to take breaks all the time.
I startled myself 2 weeks ago when I got up into the attic to get the christmas tree down. I'd been pretty much the same weight (230lbs) for like 20 years, so I'm conditioned to know how much strength was required to pull myself up into the attic. When I climbed up the ladder and grabbed the ledge and pulled, I almost fucking flung myself into orbit. Felt really disorientating, like gravity wasn't working correctly for a moment lol
You've made such great progress! Increased mobility is so great to regain. I used to struggle to run on any kind of incline. Now I can book it up a hill. I used to snore a lot a night because of the weight on my chest making it harder to breath. Now I do not snore nearly as much or as loud.
I was wondering if that thought occurred to anyone else. Also wondering if OOP, consciously or unconsciously, hates her mother and actually wants her to suffer. Yeah, pretty dark, but encouraging someone to destroy their health is truly malevolent, imo.
OOP isn't even fat!? And she has the gall to try and gaslight her mother into thinking her joint pain is all in her head or due to weight stigma? This is one of the most infuriating posts I've seen in a while.
Good on mom for ignoring OOP's BS. I hope she succeeds at every weight loss and health goal she sets!
This is part of why fat acceptance is so repugnant. It's fully possible this person genuinely believes she's helping her mother, but if her mother takes her advice it will only make things worse. So many people can become complacent about their health or give up on improving their health or well-being because they think they have no control over it. It's depressing and dangerous.
I'm sure many fat activists believe their messaging, at least, they are able to lie to themselves, but if they don't come to terms with the reality of their situation they'll follow the path of many fat activists (and obese people generally). That is, they'll continue to experience a lower quality of life than necessary and will have vastly shortened lifespans.
Also... if you haven't reduced first, your exercise will just exacerbate your overeating because you'll gobble down more food when you're tired and achy and feeling you need a reward.
This post perfectly represents the same extreme avoidance of accountability that drives the whole movement. It might be terrifying to admit your parent can no longer easily care for themselves... must just be that the media made them feel bad!
The mum doesn't even need to die for this person to reap rewards.
First comes immobility/inability to function independently, then comes 'I'll look after you, just sign this power of attorney, don't worry about reading it', then comes financial shenanigans.
Happens all the time, often as a way to pre-empt stipulations made in the will.
Eg, if the house has been earmarked for someone else, they'll just sell it from under the sick person and pocket the cash. Often running off and leaving the sick person to face eviction alone.
It's any family dynamic, too, not just ageing parents.
That's why I tell anyone else who's got one of the psych conditions that can land you in hospital to set up an 'if I lose my mind, these people are safe to send me home with, and these other people are to be escorted off the premises by security' advance directive.
Hospitals often assume next of kin, so that's another one to sort out. My parents and brother are alive and well, but my formal next of kin is my friend and her partner, for very good reason.
The internalized "skinnyphobia" (see, I can make up stupid terminology, too!) is getting so ridiculous.
Yes, it's completely to be expected to have joint pain and mobility problems when you're fat. I swear, these people have to know that but just insist on deluding themselves into believing it can't be because facing the reality of those consequences is too much to bear for them.
They'd rather push dangerous ideology onto others to keep themselves comfortably delusional instead of helping others or themselves.
Notice the person NEVER says that her mom is not fat. So she likely is. And the daughter wants a way to sell her mom on being fat is OK. And none of her issues are because she is fat. What a great daughter.
This is so sad to me as someone who also has a fat mother who has a lot of health issues and is losing her mobility. Does this person not feel any kind of bitterness about the impact of her mother’s obesity on their relationship? I know it bothers me a lot that my mother couldn’t do as much with me as a kid. We always did stuff together that didn’t require much walking or movement in general because she simply couldn’t do anything else, and that still bugs me when I think back on my childhood and my relationship with her.
plus, what if OOP had kids someday- wouldn’t she want her mom active and mobile enough to play with her grandkids? and babysit sometimes? not to mention doing mother- daughter things together- going for walks, going shopping etc… it would be so sad if the OOP can no longer spend quality time with her mom due to her mom’s obesity and the daughter's spewing ridiculous fat activist garbage. “I know more than all those fat phobic doctors!” (and note: Doctors is plural, there are more than one who agree on this!)
Am I a horrible person for hoping OOP either doesn't or will never have kids, at least until she leaves the FA cult? Because, if she does this to her mother, I really shudder to think of how she'd raise a child.
Weight bearing joints that hurt are going to feel better if they have to bear less weight. I feel like that should be obvious, it's so annoying when people pretend like that can't play any role at all. It's also (hopefully )obvious to people who take the other extreme, that weight loss may or may not resolve the issue completely or that no medical workup should be done until the person loses weight, especially since weight loss doesn't happen overnight.
If they could just stop at “feeling good, finding enjoyable movement, and working on her relationship with food” All of those are good and valid ways to start getting healthier. But then they have to go off the rails with the “fatphobia and being obese is never the problem and don’t let doctors tell you what to do!”
concentrating on feeling good, finding enjoyable movement and working on her relationship with food
For many people this is absolutely sound advice. When focusing on weight loss many people try to optimise too early. This mindset shift might help her stick to healthier habits. Not all obese people can start a conventional diet and (particularly) exercise regime straight away.
This is a great example of FAs taking an objectively true thing and corrupting it with horrible fatlogic. If they’d just said that, I’d have no problem with it, but they just had to go ahead and add the “your fatness isn’t an issue, it’s the fatphobic doctors that are the issue” bullshit.
This is a great example of FAs taking an objectively true thing and corrupting it with horrible fatlogic.
They do this with so many things, too. There is frequently a kernel of truth in a lot of their bullshit. Just enough to prop the gish-gallop of lies up so that it seems very nearly plausible if you're poor at critical thinking, and, like the majority of Americans (54% in 2025), read below a 6th grade level.
100%, and to me that’s one of the things that makes their ideology so dangerous. They draw you in with reasonable and true statements like “having a good relationship with food is good for your health” and “we shouldn’t be assholes to people purely because of their body size”, and then use that as a jumping off point to segue into shit like “…and eating McDonalds twice a day means you have a good relationship with food because you’re honouring your cravings”, “you have to want sex with fat people or you’re a bigot”, and other assorted (harmful) bullshit.
And sure, some FAs are more overt and put the out of pocket shit right up front where everyone can see it, but it’s a pipeline for sure.
This is sound advice for a young person that needs to lose weight. Once you hit a certain age obese, the whole joyful movement idea is delusion. They likely need to see a physical therapist, and will be limited to low impact activities.
How do you "focus on feeling good" when your body is literally making you feel bad though? It's so insensitive of OOP to say her mom should "focus on feeling good" if nothing feels good because of her weight. You can't just say "I feel fine and not in pain" and bam it happens. Magical FA thought process as always.
Also, if her mother's mobility is that bad, and she's in pain, what kind of "enjoyable movement" is she going to be able to have/do, and what movement is she going to find enjoyable? Maybe swimming?
"my mother is coughing blood, not able to walk and has constant fever, and she insists all the problems are because she's smoking and doing drugs. How do I tell her that her health issues are not real and just internalized drugphobia"
this is some new level of gaslighting. the person is visibly physically unwell and you're trying to make them believe it's all just some obscure "fatphobia". does oop want her mother to die or something?..
Mom gotta lose weight. Humans were not made to carry lots of weight. Our bodies rebel when we carry too much weight. Things will systematically just give out.
Idk why they trying to make unnatural amounts of weight natural. I’d hate for these people to get older get some ailments and then the light bulb turns on. Some things you acquire you don’t get rid of!
As a daughter of a fat mom I actually get how this not fat daughter has fallen for and was targeted by fat acceptance propaganda. Sometimes it’s really hard to accept your parent isn’t doing what they should. It’s easier to believe they are actually the victims of weight discrimination or bad genes. We want memories from childhood of our parents constantly talking about dieting and not following through, physical limitations, and parents’ low self esteem to be not the fault of our parents’ inability to take care of themselves (and their family), but about the bad doctors or a fatphobic society that has made her feel bad about herself. I had this phase where I was too compassionate towards my mom’s difficulties with weight, before I realized I was being an enabler.
While I don’t condone what the daughter is doing, this is an excellent point. It may be that she feels she’s more likely to convince her mom to stop caring about her weight than her mom is to actually lose the weight. It could be a way for her to attempt to mange and cope with her mom’s state. Incredibly sad.
Yeah. I think I figured out a better balance now, I was teenager back then and I cut myself some slack. It’s not like my parents were the best role models for navigating these issues. I, like another commenter, have also felt bitterness due to my mom’s obesity growing up, so I give myself permission to not always be “compassionate.”
and she insists all the problems are because she is fat.
Then why not put in the effort and lose the weight? People like this drive me crazy. Obviously the daughter is absolutely unhinged but wanted to address this as well…
Some fat people are extremely self centered. How low can you go by blaming your mother’s mindset rather than the physical aspects that are changing her body?
Thinking about what online spaces FAs tend to run in too these people know it’s important to believe disabled people about their disabilities but they straight up will not see how the fatlogic makes them a hypocrite on that
i hope the mom manages to take good care of her health and is able to lose weight savely :( op's opinions are so dangerous to people like their mom... as someone whose mom has also suffered from weight related health problems (such as sleep apnea, pcos (pcos is not caused by obesity but obesity can definitely worsen the symptoms) and a miscarriage), this makes me very concerned and sad. my mom is taking ozempic now and on her way to steadily improve her health, i can only wish the same to op's mom
Same as the 'Big Diet is worth a zillion dollars per year!!' mantra, where they forget that the bulk of commercial diet plans, diet foods, those protein bars these ladies all pound for some reason, etc, fall under the umbrella of their beloved Big Junk overlords.
There's three or four companies that control the majority of food and drink in supermarkets, and it's extremely creepy. Just look up the pyramid of brands owned by Nestlé.
I've boycotted Nestlé for many years, and it's a big pain in the arse, as they keep sucking up small brands like they're The Blob.
So, hunting that bloody bird's nest logo on food labels is annoying. I can't and won't change how I feel about them, though (look up 'Nestle baby formula scandal' to enter a gross rabbit hole), so I maintain my boycott.
So, whether you buy a diet shake or a big slab of chocolate, the same CEO is buying his one of his mistresses another super yacht with the help of your money, Brenda.
Yeah you're correct. I worked with Cargill a lot during my career and at one point we were touring one of their plants, and someone asked how many companies they own. The answer we got was "impossible to say because it can fluctuate in the hundreds on any given day". It's insane.
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I mean it sounds like their mother is developing osteoarthritis which isn’t great and is only gonna exacerbate the pre existing problems. It sounds like OOP and the mother themselves needs to start approaching this from the perspective of lifestyle changes rather than crash diets
Jesus. This is beyond delusional. If OOP’s mother is losing her mobility, it’s not “fatphobic doctors” that are the issue here. Fat acceptance is a fucking cult and nothing can change my mind on that.
Seriously fuck the OOP for her trash attitude towards her mom. I really hate her self centered attitude.
One of my biggest issues with the FA cult is how they’re not just content with accepting their own fatness, but have a relentless need to push their agenda onto others. I have many family members that struggle/have struggled with obesity, definitely not “call up Dr. Now ASAP” levels of obesity but obesity nonetheless, and I can’t imagine being this callous and self-centered if they ever opened up to me about genuine health concerns. This is just cruelty.
The thing is, I just found out that the OOP wasn’t fat. She’s still trash for having the toxic FA attitude though.
I mean, healthy weight people can still fall victim to fatlogic, unfortunately - and I’m also taking OOP’s (mom’s) statement with a grain of salt because our perception as a society of what “fat” really is are so warped, even to people outside FA-land.
Still trash though.
It's honestly so much worse to me that OOP isn't fat. If she stays in the normal or even just overweight weight range, OOP will likely never have to deal with any of the issues she's so gleefully encouraging her mother to worsen with unhealthy lifestyle choices. And yet OOP continues to berate her mother and self-aggrandize via Instagram. There's something so diabolical about that.
I agree. Holy grifting! It’s one thing if you’re so in denial that you have a problem that you can’t handle others losing weight. FAs are ridiculously entitled about others’ bodies, versus you look at this sub and it’s 99% “you can be fat if you really want, but you have to accept the consequences of your actions from that because that’s the cold hard reality of what being fat is like”. But fine. I get it, they can’t handle anyone proving that weight loss is possible and that it makes you feel better. If they wanna keep being the “this is fine” dog in a house on fire while their joints wear down at an alarming rate and eventually it starts destroying their organs, okay.
This is just crazy to me if OOP is thin and so sold on FA lies that now they expect someone to fuck up their health in order to accommodate a thin person’s feelings. Not because it hurts their feelings to see someone lose weight when they are fat themselves but because they couldn’t handle not feeling like they failed to be a Good Fat Ally.
Another messed-up thing: if OOP really isn't a confirmed fat (or just not fat enough according to a FA), then they'll never be accepted into the club, anyway. Not really.
If OOP isn't fat and believes this, we should try suggesting them to get fat. See how they take it.
Crazy how OOP is using their own mother's health issues as an opportunity for performative grandstanding and Internet points.
[removed]
^ This is a bot account.
I reported them, and the account is now nuked.
Thank you.
You know the mom is actually like morbidly obese too because these people’s threshold for what they consider fat is crazy. They will be 5’2 and 200 lbs and say they aren’t fat with a straight face
"I'm not fat; I don't even need a scooter to do my grocery shopping."
Different generation so maybe not.
If fat people are promoting fat activism I can sorta understand where it comes from. Thin people promoting it is the weirdest thing ever to me. I wonder how many of them want to be "one of the good ones" and how many of them want to just seem even more thin by comparison.
I have never seen a non-fat person promoting fat activism who wasn’t in it for the money. Every single time they are trying to sell some program or supplement or some shit, or their own dietetics services. It’s all a grift.
I was on Twitter when that Tess Holliday cover came out. Everyone and their grandma was reposting it. It's not immediately full-blown fat activism, sure, but everyone on my timeline was all "yas queen slay". That was the most social pressure I ever felt to conform.
Yup. All the dieticians taking money from the soda companies.
I’m not sure in this case because OOP isn’t fat. Or at least not all that fat.
I started enjoying movement more after I lost about 20 lbs. I still have some more weight to lose, but my knees feel MUCH better after losing weight.
Good on you! I'm down 62lbs as of this week and fuck me do I move around more easily, but I remember the first 20lbs being the milestone that I noticed the biggest difference, and it's what made me realise it was worth it to keep going. I used to get winded bending over because my stomach constricted my breathing. Sweating after walking for more than 10 minutes. I spent the other day painting the skirting boards in my room and couldn't believe how much easier it was. Didn't need to take breaks all the time.
I startled myself 2 weeks ago when I got up into the attic to get the christmas tree down. I'd been pretty much the same weight (230lbs) for like 20 years, so I'm conditioned to know how much strength was required to pull myself up into the attic. When I climbed up the ladder and grabbed the ledge and pulled, I almost fucking flung myself into orbit. Felt really disorientating, like gravity wasn't working correctly for a moment lol
You've made such great progress! Increased mobility is so great to regain. I used to struggle to run on any kind of incline. Now I can book it up a hill. I used to snore a lot a night because of the weight on my chest making it harder to breath. Now I do not snore nearly as much or as loud.
Oh hell no. And OOP isnt even fat themself?? This is horrible. They must really want that inheritance.
I was wondering if that thought occurred to anyone else. Also wondering if OOP, consciously or unconsciously, hates her mother and actually wants her to suffer. Yeah, pretty dark, but encouraging someone to destroy their health is truly malevolent, imo.
OOP isn't even fat!? And she has the gall to try and gaslight her mother into thinking her joint pain is all in her head or due to weight stigma? This is one of the most infuriating posts I've seen in a while.
Good on mom for ignoring OOP's BS. I hope she succeeds at every weight loss and health goal she sets!
It's interesting that the person isn't fat, or at least not fat by fat acceptance standards.
Feels a bit like 'if I drag you down, I'll rise up' sabotage, or they're just straight up evil.
If she's not able to walk readily, I'd say she's well past "starting" to be unwell.
An alternate title would be: "How can I hasten my mom's death?"
Does she even like her mother?
This is part of why fat acceptance is so repugnant. It's fully possible this person genuinely believes she's helping her mother, but if her mother takes her advice it will only make things worse. So many people can become complacent about their health or give up on improving their health or well-being because they think they have no control over it. It's depressing and dangerous.
I'm sure many fat activists believe their messaging, at least, they are able to lie to themselves, but if they don't come to terms with the reality of their situation they'll follow the path of many fat activists (and obese people generally). That is, they'll continue to experience a lower quality of life than necessary and will have vastly shortened lifespans.
Lose first, then exercise more.
Reduces likelihood of pain and injury.
Also... if you haven't reduced first, your exercise will just exacerbate your overeating because you'll gobble down more food when you're tired and achy and feeling you need a reward.
This post perfectly represents the same extreme avoidance of accountability that drives the whole movement. It might be terrifying to admit your parent can no longer easily care for themselves... must just be that the media made them feel bad!
Can this be considered attempted matricide
Fatricide by proxy?
The mum doesn't even need to die for this person to reap rewards.
First comes immobility/inability to function independently, then comes 'I'll look after you, just sign this power of attorney, don't worry about reading it', then comes financial shenanigans.
Happens all the time, often as a way to pre-empt stipulations made in the will.
Eg, if the house has been earmarked for someone else, they'll just sell it from under the sick person and pocket the cash. Often running off and leaving the sick person to face eviction alone.
It's any family dynamic, too, not just ageing parents.
That's why I tell anyone else who's got one of the psych conditions that can land you in hospital to set up an 'if I lose my mind, these people are safe to send me home with, and these other people are to be escorted off the premises by security' advance directive.
Hospitals often assume next of kin, so that's another one to sort out. My parents and brother are alive and well, but my formal next of kin is my friend and her partner, for very good reason.
The internalized "skinnyphobia" (see, I can make up stupid terminology, too!) is getting so ridiculous.
Yes, it's completely to be expected to have joint pain and mobility problems when you're fat. I swear, these people have to know that but just insist on deluding themselves into believing it can't be because facing the reality of those consequences is too much to bear for them.
They'd rather push dangerous ideology onto others to keep themselves comfortably delusional instead of helping others or themselves.
Notice the person NEVER says that her mom is not fat. So she likely is. And the daughter wants a way to sell her mom on being fat is OK. And none of her issues are because she is fat. What a great daughter.
This is so sad to me as someone who also has a fat mother who has a lot of health issues and is losing her mobility. Does this person not feel any kind of bitterness about the impact of her mother’s obesity on their relationship? I know it bothers me a lot that my mother couldn’t do as much with me as a kid. We always did stuff together that didn’t require much walking or movement in general because she simply couldn’t do anything else, and that still bugs me when I think back on my childhood and my relationship with her.
plus, what if OOP had kids someday- wouldn’t she want her mom active and mobile enough to play with her grandkids? and babysit sometimes? not to mention doing mother- daughter things together- going for walks, going shopping etc… it would be so sad if the OOP can no longer spend quality time with her mom due to her mom’s obesity and the daughter's spewing ridiculous fat activist garbage. “I know more than all those fat phobic doctors!” (and note: Doctors is plural, there are more than one who agree on this!)
Am I a horrible person for hoping OOP either doesn't or will never have kids, at least until she leaves the FA cult? Because, if she does this to her mother, I really shudder to think of how she'd raise a child.
brutal overuse of parentheticals
Weight bearing joints that hurt are going to feel better if they have to bear less weight. I feel like that should be obvious, it's so annoying when people pretend like that can't play any role at all. It's also (hopefully )obvious to people who take the other extreme, that weight loss may or may not resolve the issue completely or that no medical workup should be done until the person loses weight, especially since weight loss doesn't happen overnight.
If they could just stop at “feeling good, finding enjoyable movement, and working on her relationship with food” All of those are good and valid ways to start getting healthier. But then they have to go off the rails with the “fatphobia and being obese is never the problem and don’t let doctors tell you what to do!”
For many people this is absolutely sound advice. When focusing on weight loss many people try to optimise too early. This mindset shift might help her stick to healthier habits. Not all obese people can start a conventional diet and (particularly) exercise regime straight away.
This is a great example of FAs taking an objectively true thing and corrupting it with horrible fatlogic. If they’d just said that, I’d have no problem with it, but they just had to go ahead and add the “your fatness isn’t an issue, it’s the fatphobic doctors that are the issue” bullshit.
This would be an absolutely valid post without the "Doctor's hate fat people" conspiracy.
Conspiracy is absolutely the right word for it. FA-ism is almost as bad as anti-vax ideology at this point (IMO).
They do this with so many things, too. There is frequently a kernel of truth in a lot of their bullshit. Just enough to prop the gish-gallop of lies up so that it seems very nearly plausible if you're poor at critical thinking, and, like the majority of Americans (54% in 2025), read below a 6th grade level.
100%, and to me that’s one of the things that makes their ideology so dangerous. They draw you in with reasonable and true statements like “having a good relationship with food is good for your health” and “we shouldn’t be assholes to people purely because of their body size”, and then use that as a jumping off point to segue into shit like “…and eating McDonalds twice a day means you have a good relationship with food because you’re honouring your cravings”, “you have to want sex with fat people or you’re a bigot”, and other assorted (harmful) bullshit.
And sure, some FAs are more overt and put the out of pocket shit right up front where everyone can see it, but it’s a pipeline for sure.
This is sound advice for a young person that needs to lose weight. Once you hit a certain age obese, the whole joyful movement idea is delusion. They likely need to see a physical therapist, and will be limited to low impact activities.
The way FA define "relationship with food", though . . . I don't know; sheesh it could mean stop feeling guilty about overeating.
How do you "focus on feeling good" when your body is literally making you feel bad though? It's so insensitive of OOP to say her mom should "focus on feeling good" if nothing feels good because of her weight. You can't just say "I feel fine and not in pain" and bam it happens. Magical FA thought process as always.
Also, if her mother's mobility is that bad, and she's in pain, what kind of "enjoyable movement" is she going to be able to have/do, and what movement is she going to find enjoyable? Maybe swimming?
"my mother is coughing blood, not able to walk and has constant fever, and she insists all the problems are because she's smoking and doing drugs. How do I tell her that her health issues are not real and just internalized drugphobia"
this is some new level of gaslighting. the person is visibly physically unwell and you're trying to make them believe it's all just some obscure "fatphobia". does oop want her mother to die or something?..
Mom gotta lose weight. Humans were not made to carry lots of weight. Our bodies rebel when we carry too much weight. Things will systematically just give out.
Idk why they trying to make unnatural amounts of weight natural. I’d hate for these people to get older get some ailments and then the light bulb turns on. Some things you acquire you don’t get rid of!
As a daughter of a fat mom I actually get how this not fat daughter has fallen for and was targeted by fat acceptance propaganda. Sometimes it’s really hard to accept your parent isn’t doing what they should. It’s easier to believe they are actually the victims of weight discrimination or bad genes. We want memories from childhood of our parents constantly talking about dieting and not following through, physical limitations, and parents’ low self esteem to be not the fault of our parents’ inability to take care of themselves (and their family), but about the bad doctors or a fatphobic society that has made her feel bad about herself. I had this phase where I was too compassionate towards my mom’s difficulties with weight, before I realized I was being an enabler.
While I don’t condone what the daughter is doing, this is an excellent point. It may be that she feels she’s more likely to convince her mom to stop caring about her weight than her mom is to actually lose the weight. It could be a way for her to attempt to mange and cope with her mom’s state. Incredibly sad.
It’s possible to be compassionate without being an enabler….
Yeah. I think I figured out a better balance now, I was teenager back then and I cut myself some slack. It’s not like my parents were the best role models for navigating these issues. I, like another commenter, have also felt bitterness due to my mom’s obesity growing up, so I give myself permission to not always be “compassionate.”
So... This not-fat person is trying to get her overweight mother with health issues to become even less healthy? This is a freaking death cult.
Then why not put in the effort and lose the weight? People like this drive me crazy. Obviously the daughter is absolutely unhinged but wanted to address this as well…
Some fat people are extremely self centered. How low can you go by blaming your mother’s mindset rather than the physical aspects that are changing her body?
I cannot imagine seeing my mom in pain and crowd sourcing ways to discourage her from easing that pain
Thinking about what online spaces FAs tend to run in too these people know it’s important to believe disabled people about their disabilities but they straight up will not see how the fatlogic makes them a hypocrite on that
Like it’s all “believe women about their health issues” until a woman says her weight is endangering her health
i hope the mom manages to take good care of her health and is able to lose weight savely :( op's opinions are so dangerous to people like their mom... as someone whose mom has also suffered from weight related health problems (such as sleep apnea, pcos (pcos is not caused by obesity but obesity can definitely worsen the symptoms) and a miscarriage), this makes me very concerned and sad. my mom is taking ozempic now and on her way to steadily improve her health, i can only wish the same to op's mom
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Same as the 'Big Diet is worth a zillion dollars per year!!' mantra, where they forget that the bulk of commercial diet plans, diet foods, those protein bars these ladies all pound for some reason, etc, fall under the umbrella of their beloved Big Junk overlords.
There's three or four companies that control the majority of food and drink in supermarkets, and it's extremely creepy. Just look up the pyramid of brands owned by Nestlé.
I've boycotted Nestlé for many years, and it's a big pain in the arse, as they keep sucking up small brands like they're The Blob.
So, hunting that bloody bird's nest logo on food labels is annoying. I can't and won't change how I feel about them, though (look up 'Nestle baby formula scandal' to enter a gross rabbit hole), so I maintain my boycott.
So, whether you buy a diet shake or a big slab of chocolate, the same CEO is buying his one of his mistresses another super yacht with the help of your money, Brenda.
Yeah you're correct. I worked with Cargill a lot during my career and at one point we were touring one of their plants, and someone asked how many companies they own. The answer we got was "impossible to say because it can fluctuate in the hundreds on any given day". It's insane.
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I'm guessing OOP is "small" or "medium" fat.
Reality is fatphobic
I mean it sounds like their mother is developing osteoarthritis which isn’t great and is only gonna exacerbate the pre existing problems. It sounds like OOP and the mother themselves needs to start approaching this from the perspective of lifestyle changes rather than crash diets
This reads like satire. This person should be paid by the Onion.
U sound like a horrible daughter