I love how FAs always reveal what a sham fat acceptance is the second they lose weight and realize how much nicer it is. “She built her platform off of having a bigger body and now she’s saying it sucked being bigger” haha yeah the entire movement is a flimsy house of cards that blows over the second someone admits what you all want deep down
Building a platform on something means you’re never allowed to change your mind, apparently.
But I’ve never seen anyone lose weight and start actually shitting on fat people. They just talk about how much it sucks to be fat because it really does suck.
The whole world is the internet to them too. They talk to people online like “you should be more aware of your audience” like bitch I have 30 Instagram followers, my primary audience is my mother, and the rest of them are people I met in high school. If they wanna unfollow me because I lost weight, go right ahead. My account is private; I don’t have a platform.
When I was obese, I recognized it was entirely my fault, and I did have mild losercope that BMI was wrong.
My more leftist friends have told me that "just because you lost weight/got a degree/bathe regularly, you can't expect everyone else to."
They are absolutely right, but I can also choose to spend time with people who have done those things.
And that's the key to the whole "victimhood alibi" mindset. Let's say you actually get what you want, in that no one is blaming you for your actions. People are going to say nothing, quietly stop asking you to participate in society, and go find people who aren't too fat to walk, or who can show up on time because they don't have "ADHD time blindness" or whatever online bucket of crabs you've found yourself in.
I tried to be open-minded and I went on a date with an overweight woman. Conversation was okay, but my attraction plummeted to zero when she was struggling to take a short walk around the neighborhood. I said nothing and quietly moved on. Now I'm dating a ballerina and we simply don't have to worry ourselves with that utter nonsense.
Yup.
I was fatphobic (by their definition) when I was fat, too.
I didn’t want to be fat. I hated my fat. I wasn’t about reclaiming power or celebrating my goddess body or any “all bodies are beautiful “ stuff.
Now I’m thin and my feelings haven’t changed. If anything, I’ve become a little MORE tolerant. But I don’t want to be fat. I recognize that it wasn’t the end of the world when I was fat. Looking at old pictures, I see my fat but also appreciate that in many of the pics, I look good and I was happy. At the time, all those pictures did was upset me, because I was so horrified by and ashamed of my weight.
I don’t want to go back to those days. And if you’re fat and happy and content, more power to you. I’m glad you have confidence. You do you.
I’ll be over here, checking the scale and monitoring what I eat.
Most hair metal lyrics in the 80's consisted of 'omg, check out that hot 16yr old, let's all get drunk and high, we will never die, here's a list of random LA street names, my package looks amazing in these crotch strangler spandex leggings'.
Lots of those bands do reunion gigs, and some opt to skip the more overt 'never let the party die, hey girl, can I pick you up after school?!!' songs from their back catalogue.
Mainly because it's a bit weird to hear those lyrics from a bunch of sober, born-again Christian dudes in their 60's in khaki bermuda shorts & New Balance trainers.
People age. People change. People alter their beliefs and values after assessing new information. At least, emotionally mature people do.
When people in the FA movement regularly call thin people "thin mints" "skinny bitches" and say they are better than thin people, they become nothing but a bunch of mean girls in a death cult. I don't really care about how people talk about their fat body after they lost weight and whether are not if they were being "fatphobic."
I hindsight a lot of my life, and am very prone to nostalgia. I'd tell younger me to not drink Coke at every meal, but I'd also tell younger me to buy Gamestop stock when it was a few dollars. And if I'm really doing that, I'd also have re-engineered my entire skillset of social calibration, which would've led to better school and career opportunities for my whole life. But it is what it is.
What you are telling sounds similar to my own story.
Please be kind to yourself and in place of putting your energy in what could have been. Try to make the best with what you do have.
I'm also prone to be nostalgic. Living abroad also made this tendency stronger, but at one point, I decided to go forward against all the odds telling me that it was too late.
And maybe, just maybe, there is immense pressure in that "community" to "love your body" and when you finally get out you are able to admit that no, you did in fact not love being obese but you had to play the role in order to feel accepted and fit in.
The more I read FA content, the more convinced I become that they are love-starved, emotionally unregulated giant toddlers. This view explains:
How they got so big in the first place, as toddlers cannot delay gratification.
Throw wild, unhinged online tantrums when their worldview is challenged.
Center everything on themselves. Thin people are thin to spite them. Airlines make the seats too small to humiliate them. Doctors push weight loss because they hate them. People lose weight to taunt them, etc.
All of these are the traits of a toddler. But then throw in that this is an oversized, supposedly adult toddler who hates themselves and is trying to hype themselves up on nonsense.
It's incredible how much these people care about what others do, say, think, and feel. It's like they don't have a life of their own to live and make as happy as possible for themselves. It's tragic.
or when they tie their entire self worth into someone like Rebel Wilson or Adele and it’s throws their whole life into a tailspin because they lost weight. silliness
I'm starting to think that parasocial relationships are the only relationships they have. Hence why they get so bent out of shape when people they don't know in real life, will never meet, and who have no idea that they exist make some lifestyle change. They need some real life friends, and they need to get off the internet.
No path of being really online doesn't make you into a total fucking loser.
When you're bullshitting with your buddies and you say some random extremist nonsense, they might say nah, that's dumb, possibly even call you a mild slur, and you both laugh and move on. Or you see them actually "doing stuff" during school days like going on a ten mile bike or being in marching band all day and still rarin' and ready to go out. That's the normalizing force of "real life," and many people don't have that anymore.
Yeah, there are little to no checks and balances when you're terminally online. Especially when you have carefully curated your echo chamber to make sure of that. You can't curate your real life friends and family to that degree, so you get a little reality check from time to time.
It got very big with tumblr. The misfit kids found a safe space, but went too far to a place where novelty is king and victimhood is clout. I posit that tumblr "shipping" has permanently ruined fiction writing, to the point where men can't be friends anymore without it being a "pairing." I understand that maybe a lot of alternative lifestyle people didn't feel safe offline, but they got WAY TOO online to a point of antisocial absolutism.
And then, BAM, a wild pandemic appears, and it made everything worse and showed humanity's true face. The shut-ins got more unhealthy and more online, in a vortex of narcissism from which no light can escape, and you get stuff like OP sentiment.
The problem with being in a totally insulated "safe space" is that you start to lose perspective and start seeing dangers everywhere. Being disagreed with is not unsafe. It's merely uncomfortable. Which is totally how FA online safe spaces seem to work.
I'm being downvoted! Guess the space wasn't quite that safe at all. But that's why I see all terminally online mindsets as being harmful, to the point of being antisocial. It very quickly gets to a place where everything is "problematic" and outrage fuels the engagement machine.
People start to change when they stop denial and pass through anger, bargaining, and depression on their way to acceptance. So far this grief model fits what we see in this fat cult.
It is interesting how people turn a changeable problem into identity. But it's just the other side of the coin of people "owning" horrible terms used against them to prove their .... something. Like deplorable, bitch, n-word, etc.
This is the challenge with all these modern philosophical ideas, which have some merit. They get used by everyone to rationalize their situation, when they were meant as tools to engage in deeper inquiry.
This is why these superficial level, high school style back and forth is such a waste of time. People are dressing up basic problems with fancy academic concepts to obfuscate the basic nature of the problem.
I love how FAs always reveal what a sham fat acceptance is the second they lose weight and realize how much nicer it is. “She built her platform off of having a bigger body and now she’s saying it sucked being bigger” haha yeah the entire movement is a flimsy house of cards that blows over the second someone admits what you all want deep down
Building a platform on something means you’re never allowed to change your mind, apparently.
But I’ve never seen anyone lose weight and start actually shitting on fat people. They just talk about how much it sucks to be fat because it really does suck.
The whole world is the internet to them too. They talk to people online like “you should be more aware of your audience” like bitch I have 30 Instagram followers, my primary audience is my mother, and the rest of them are people I met in high school. If they wanna unfollow me because I lost weight, go right ahead. My account is private; I don’t have a platform.
"In the age of Ozempic, what does that mean for body positivity?!"
It was always bullshit losercope. That's what it means.
I'm 100% fatphobic after losing a lot of weight. Internalized, externalized, if it's fatphobia I'm indulging in it.
Same here! I have abs now and I never wanna go back to being obese. Being this weight feels amazing compared to how I felt at my highest weight.
Same. Losing weight was the best decision I ever made. If that hurts Brenda’s precious little fee-fees, too bad.
Yeah, they act like this is something I should be ashamed of. I’m not.
When I was obese, I recognized it was entirely my fault, and I did have mild losercope that BMI was wrong.
My more leftist friends have told me that "just because you lost weight/got a degree/bathe regularly, you can't expect everyone else to."
They are absolutely right, but I can also choose to spend time with people who have done those things.
And that's the key to the whole "victimhood alibi" mindset. Let's say you actually get what you want, in that no one is blaming you for your actions. People are going to say nothing, quietly stop asking you to participate in society, and go find people who aren't too fat to walk, or who can show up on time because they don't have "ADHD time blindness" or whatever online bucket of crabs you've found yourself in.
I tried to be open-minded and I went on a date with an overweight woman. Conversation was okay, but my attraction plummeted to zero when she was struggling to take a short walk around the neighborhood. I said nothing and quietly moved on. Now I'm dating a ballerina and we simply don't have to worry ourselves with that utter nonsense.
Yup. I was fatphobic (by their definition) when I was fat, too.
I didn’t want to be fat. I hated my fat. I wasn’t about reclaiming power or celebrating my goddess body or any “all bodies are beautiful “ stuff.
Now I’m thin and my feelings haven’t changed. If anything, I’ve become a little MORE tolerant. But I don’t want to be fat. I recognize that it wasn’t the end of the world when I was fat. Looking at old pictures, I see my fat but also appreciate that in many of the pics, I look good and I was happy. At the time, all those pictures did was upset me, because I was so horrified by and ashamed of my weight.
I don’t want to go back to those days. And if you’re fat and happy and content, more power to you. I’m glad you have confidence. You do you.
I’ll be over here, checking the scale and monitoring what I eat.
Most hair metal lyrics in the 80's consisted of 'omg, check out that hot 16yr old, let's all get drunk and high, we will never die, here's a list of random LA street names, my package looks amazing in these crotch strangler spandex leggings'.
Lots of those bands do reunion gigs, and some opt to skip the more overt 'never let the party die, hey girl, can I pick you up after school?!!' songs from their back catalogue.
Mainly because it's a bit weird to hear those lyrics from a bunch of sober, born-again Christian dudes in their 60's in khaki bermuda shorts & New Balance trainers.
People age. People change. People alter their beliefs and values after assessing new information. At least, emotionally mature people do.
When people in the FA movement regularly call thin people "thin mints" "skinny bitches" and say they are better than thin people, they become nothing but a bunch of mean girls in a death cult. I don't really care about how people talk about their fat body after they lost weight and whether are not if they were being "fatphobic."
I just came back from running and having a tasty and healthy breakfast.
I don't hate my old self. I pity her. I don't hate fat people at all, but I pity them.
The only kind of fat people I despise are the fatfluencers.
I don't hate my old self, either. I'm finally listening to her pain and supporting her in different and sustainable ways.
I hindsight a lot of my life, and am very prone to nostalgia. I'd tell younger me to not drink Coke at every meal, but I'd also tell younger me to buy Gamestop stock when it was a few dollars. And if I'm really doing that, I'd also have re-engineered my entire skillset of social calibration, which would've led to better school and career opportunities for my whole life. But it is what it is.
What you are telling sounds similar to my own story.
Please be kind to yourself and in place of putting your energy in what could have been. Try to make the best with what you do have.
I'm also prone to be nostalgic. Living abroad also made this tendency stronger, but at one point, I decided to go forward against all the odds telling me that it was too late.
Well, I'm alive, so are you. It's not too late :)
And maybe, just maybe, there is immense pressure in that "community" to "love your body" and when you finally get out you are able to admit that no, you did in fact not love being obese but you had to play the role in order to feel accepted and fit in.
The more I read FA content, the more convinced I become that they are love-starved, emotionally unregulated giant toddlers. This view explains:
How they got so big in the first place, as toddlers cannot delay gratification.
Throw wild, unhinged online tantrums when their worldview is challenged.
Center everything on themselves. Thin people are thin to spite them. Airlines make the seats too small to humiliate them. Doctors push weight loss because they hate them. People lose weight to taunt them, etc.
All of these are the traits of a toddler. But then throw in that this is an oversized, supposedly adult toddler who hates themselves and is trying to hype themselves up on nonsense.
It's incredible how much these people care about what others do, say, think, and feel. It's like they don't have a life of their own to live and make as happy as possible for themselves. It's tragic.
or when they tie their entire self worth into someone like Rebel Wilson or Adele and it’s throws their whole life into a tailspin because they lost weight. silliness
I'm starting to think that parasocial relationships are the only relationships they have. Hence why they get so bent out of shape when people they don't know in real life, will never meet, and who have no idea that they exist make some lifestyle change. They need some real life friends, and they need to get off the internet.
No path of being really online doesn't make you into a total fucking loser.
When you're bullshitting with your buddies and you say some random extremist nonsense, they might say nah, that's dumb, possibly even call you a mild slur, and you both laugh and move on. Or you see them actually "doing stuff" during school days like going on a ten mile bike or being in marching band all day and still rarin' and ready to go out. That's the normalizing force of "real life," and many people don't have that anymore.
Yeah, there are little to no checks and balances when you're terminally online. Especially when you have carefully curated your echo chamber to make sure of that. You can't curate your real life friends and family to that degree, so you get a little reality check from time to time.
It got very big with tumblr. The misfit kids found a safe space, but went too far to a place where novelty is king and victimhood is clout. I posit that tumblr "shipping" has permanently ruined fiction writing, to the point where men can't be friends anymore without it being a "pairing." I understand that maybe a lot of alternative lifestyle people didn't feel safe offline, but they got WAY TOO online to a point of antisocial absolutism.
And then, BAM, a wild pandemic appears, and it made everything worse and showed humanity's true face. The shut-ins got more unhealthy and more online, in a vortex of narcissism from which no light can escape, and you get stuff like OP sentiment.
The problem with being in a totally insulated "safe space" is that you start to lose perspective and start seeing dangers everywhere. Being disagreed with is not unsafe. It's merely uncomfortable. Which is totally how FA online safe spaces seem to work.
I'm being downvoted! Guess the space wasn't quite that safe at all. But that's why I see all terminally online mindsets as being harmful, to the point of being antisocial. It very quickly gets to a place where everything is "problematic" and outrage fuels the engagement machine.
For people that preach autonomy and joy, they sure are miserable when people make their own choices about their health. 🧐🤔🦀🪣
Men who were in shape have never been the ones to tell me that me being “thick” was good.
People start to change when they stop denial and pass through anger, bargaining, and depression on their way to acceptance. So far this grief model fits what we see in this fat cult.
It is interesting how people turn a changeable problem into identity. But it's just the other side of the coin of people "owning" horrible terms used against them to prove their .... something. Like deplorable, bitch, n-word, etc.
This is the challenge with all these modern philosophical ideas, which have some merit. They get used by everyone to rationalize their situation, when they were meant as tools to engage in deeper inquiry.
This is why these superficial level, high school style back and forth is such a waste of time. People are dressing up basic problems with fancy academic concepts to obfuscate the basic nature of the problem.
Go complain to someone who actually cares..