< She struck stone, hands scrabbling across rock as panic sent bubbles tearing from her lungs. She couldn’t find the exit, sharp rocks piercing into her palms as she blindly searched. The tightness in her chest only increased. >
Here others probably would have went with a "She struck stone, hands feeling rock as she panicked", but you describe it in a way that many other good writers do, using common words but then wording them into a way that while being no different than the other fashion, really adds to the story (it actually hurt me to come up with a simple way to make out what you typed because I don't write in a simple fashion imo)
The way you also partially shift from "1st" to 3rd person narration is also something I like, it shows flexibility however brief, the way you describe things as well, "The roar of the water" for example is a good description; most people already know what a raging river or rapids sound like, so any readers whether consciously or subconsciously will go "Ah! I know that sound." And it allows them to imagine the scenery well
Honestly, I'm impressed
< She struck stone, hands scrabbling across rock as panic sent bubbles tearing from her lungs. She couldn’t find the exit, sharp rocks piercing into her palms as she blindly searched. The tightness in her chest only increased. >
Here others probably would have went with a "She struck stone, hands feeling rock as she panicked", but you describe it in a way that many other good writers do, using common words but then wording them into a way that while being no different than the other fashion, really adds to the story (it actually hurt me to come up with a simple way to make out what you typed because I don't write in a simple fashion imo)
The way you also partially shift from "1st" to 3rd person narration is also something I like, it shows flexibility however brief, the way you describe things as well, "The roar of the water" for example is a good description; most people already know what a raging river or rapids sound like, so any readers whether consciously or subconsciously will go "Ah! I know that sound." And it allows them to imagine the scenery well
Its very good in all honesty
Very well written in an appealing style. Content draws the reader forward. Good luck!