It’s funny because he said “shit” in front of a bunch of people when he himself is an actual pile of steamy stinky dung. It’s a piece of shit, who’s full of shit, saying a bunch of stupid shit. Classic trifecta.
Just because his Turkey is like him, white, bland, and tastless doesn't mean all Turkey is bad. He just needs to actually shut up and let the cook do their thing.
The aristocrats of Silicon Valley, the Heritage Foundation and the Federalist Society are all convinced he will rule for 10 years after they invoke the 14th Amendment on Trump, apparently.
Yeah the problem with his joke is that’s it’s not true. Turkey is awesome. I don’t know one person who doesn’t love a good thanksgiving turkey meal. I’d eat it way more often if i could.
He just looks weird saying it’s not awesome. Like it seems even ingrained in the culture to like turkey. Fucking weirdo.
Benjamin Franklin thought that the turkey should be our national symbol instead of the bald eagle. I've encountered wild turkeys. I thought that chickens were stupid, ooh boy, turkeys make chickens seem like rocket scientists.
Turkeys are fucking mean. They don't take no for an answer, and their stalking tactics will make you pants-shittingly terrified. Try delivering a holiday package with a territorial tom in the driveway, I fucking dare you.
My kids used to have a turkey that would come “visit” the daycare, and that thing was a menace. More than a few times where she’d jump on top of a car and just refuse to leave.
I didn’t know turkeys were so mean! I was wise to go turn around and jog in the other direction when I saw a flock of them hanging out in a yard in northern CA.
I've seen them get in front of my car to keep me from leaving, then stand there all puffed up daring me to do anything about it. They seem to be fearless! To deliver a package, I once had to climb out the van window directly onto the recipient's elevated porch. The tom was standing right next to the car the whole time, waiting for his chance to get me.
Also turkey is hard to make, but can be absolutely fantastic, so if you’re surrounded exclusively by morons, you probably think it’s like, dry metallic meat powder, or something.
Motherfucker just never had good turkey, and like the rest of his buddies, can’t picture another experience besides his own
Just makes me think he has stock in pork or chicken or something similar.
"Oh I know, i get America to totally restructure key American cultures (like the Thanksgiving fucking dinner) so I can boost and rugpull stocks. Hey everyone, what if we all had a ham dinner one year, just as a goof!"
Then he said something along the line of having to deep fry meat means it’s not too great of meat, I was like has this mother fucker had fried chicken yet??
How can you claim Appalachia and not like fried food?!? Motherfucker is supposed to be from Ohio, I’m pretty sure that’s were deep fried butter was born. And fuck him for hating on Turkey, that shit is delicious off the smoker.
He's not from Appalachia in the least bit, I'm from his city and it's like an old steel town, some industrial areas but nothing like the picture he paints. You know how major cities are surrounded by tens of miles of not quite urban but not quite suburban? It's like that, pretty much all of the area between Cincinnati and Dayton is like that, the Cincinnati metro area extends much further than most people think, like 2.5 million people live here around the city.
There is a significant chunk of Ohio that's considered to be Appalachia (including the pay where I grew up), but even the most generous maps I've been able to find don't go THAT far. It's like when Ohioans claim to be from "the South."
the guy who struggled to learn how to use a knife and fork when he attended a prestigious university because even his grandma knew the prestigious university surrounded by 'elites' was the only way out.
Fucker can't keep his story straight. Should have stayed in the backwoods and pulled himself up like all the other overlooked brilliant people
We fry ours every year! 20lb turkey cooked perfect in like 2-2.5 hours. Crispy skin on the outside and it’s so tender and juicy inside. It’s also so hassle free.
Hassle free! Well, except for the enormous frying pot that you store the other 364 days a year and the 5 gallons of oil you have to buy and dispose of each use.
He’s just making heroes of the troops that will be tracking him down and arresting him when he goes on the run from the courts. I’m imagining a Sadam spider hole type situation.
Turkey is the most widely used deli meat in America for a reason, Turkey is good af. It's just that roasting a whole one properly can be a big task that most of us arent willing to do regularly. Same way most of use don't smoke a brisket every week or roast a prime rib all the time.
"Be honest with yourselves. Who really likes bacon? You're all full of shit. How many times do you roast a 280-pound pig randomly... for a nice morning brunch? Nobody does it, because bacon doesn't actually taste that good."
Turkey is good af. It's just that roasting a whole one properly can be a big task that most of us arent willing to do regularly.
It's really not that hard if you cook all the time, but who the fuck has time to cook well in Trump's America? Shit costs too much and all of us are worked to the bone to subsist.
Turkey really needs to be brined so all the flavor can get into the meat, and it stays tender and moist. But yeah, it's like a nearly week long process. Start thawing on Saturday. Goes into the brine on Tuesday. Gets thoroughly rinsed and needs another day in the fridge to dry out the skin.
It also cooks a lot faster after brining. It was done in under 2 hours this year. Came out amazing. We might do it 1 or 2 more times aside from Thanksgiving a year. It's just so time consuming.
spatchcock it (cut the backbone out and smoosh it flat). It cooks in about 75 minutes. and it doesn't take up the entire oven while it's cooking either.
Maybe that's the subtext here. He's trying to downplay turkey so it's less obvious that that shits gotten expensive. "Who wants to eat that shit anyway"
Yea I love having Turkey for Thanksgiving, but you eat it and then you got to do work carving up the leftovers whilst tired from the Turkey consumption. I only want to do that once or twice a year lol.
He does know you can buy individual turkey parts to cook and roast, right? Like i can hop on down to the local supermarket and grab a turkey breast to roast. Or some turkey legs. Or ground turkey (which i sometimes use for meatballs). Like you don't have to buy an 18 pound turkey any time you want turkey. Like you can, they do sell them year round, but you don't have to buy one. Heck, i remember as a kid, my mom would occasionally buy a full turkey, and roast it, and then some of the meat would get carved up for pot pies.
“We have a term 'groceries, It's an old term but it means, basically, what you're buying, food… it's a pretty accurate term. but it's an old fashioned sound…”
You would think someone who grew up super poor and sold for percs would know how to do normal people things, and not be incredibly awkward in all social situations.
Every time I’ve tried to cook turkey legs, they’ve come out bland af, and I normally like bland. It sounds like you have experience cooking them. Could I have some tips, please?
Best trick, seal them in a foil pouch when cooking them. Then, cook with some good seasonings, honestly, i love cajun seasoning, and you can buy that at any store. A quick dry rub, then foil pouch and bake, and boom, good turkey legs.
People who don't like Turkey can't image how anyone could like it. That plus Vance is trying to develop a stage personality so he can do rallies like Trump and take over when they push Trump out. But he has zero personality. It's like trying to watch DeSantis work a crowd... It's just awkward. It seems he's writing his own material and it doesn't work.
He’s PT Barnum reincarnated: he can sew a monkey head to a fish body and call it the Fiji mermaid and we all applaud his great skill and throw money at him.
Vance just confirmed that neither he, nor anyone in his family, can cook a turkey. I sympathize, I didn't like thanksgiving turkey because my parents were scared of any meat that wasn't burnt to a crisp. I also sympathize because my family were likewise nazis.
Veep: You have one freaking task.
- Make the troops feel welcomed to be there.
- Tell them thank you for their service and sacrifice
- Remind them that what they do, regardless of their job, is very important. It is their sacrifice that makes it possible for the freedoms that all Americans enjoy
- It is his responsibility, as Vice President, to remember their service and to maintain his promise to support all the troops implicitly and to provide what's needed for them and their families.
Your responsibilities, Mr Vice President, are few and far between. And yet, you failed to understand the assignment. You fked up the most basic of tasks.
I can't wait to have you gone from office, Mr Couch Fker.
Big turkey fan here. I live on turkey, chicken, and fish. I've apparently got that alpha-gal thing as I get stomach issues for a couple of days if I eat any kind of beef.
Ol'James D. Bowman there seems full of shit once again. When does the maga social media campaign to back him up kick off? "Alpha males don't eat turkey!"
Hey, Ben Franklin thought the "national bird" should be the turkey, not the bald eagle. Who am I to argue with one of our nation's founders?
"It's Christmas Day!" said Scrooge to himself. "I haven't missed it. The Spirits have done it all in one night. They can do anything they like. Of course they can. Of course they can.
Hallo, my fine fellow!" "Hallo!" returned the boy.
"Do you know the Poulterer's in the next street but one, at the corner?" Scrooge inquired.
"I should hope I did," replied the lad.
"An intelligent boy!" said Scrooge. "A remarkable boy! Do you know whether they've sold the prize Turkey that was hanging up there?--Not the little prize Turkey: the big one?"
"What! the one as big as me?" returned the boy.
"What a delightful boy!" said Scrooge. "It's a pleasure to talk to him. Yes, my buck!"
"It's hanging there now," replied the boy.
"Is it?" said Scrooge. "Go and buy it."
“I’m s'rry Mr Scrooge, sir, Mr Vance hast hath said we all art fuckin’ liars, all turkeys sucketh and we bett'r consume chickn” Tiny Tim replied.
“Doth thee cullionly the gentleman yond liketh having amorous rite with his couch?” returned Scrooge
“Yond same gentleman, that gent hast eke hath said Charles Kirk is a h'ro” replied Tiny Tim “And that gent eke likes polishing mr Trump's knob”
“V'ry strange fellows art these MAGA types, isn't t Mr. Cratchit?” Scrooge concluded.
—It’s been said of Mr Scrooge, he had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep away from MAGA types well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!
There's a million recopies online, it just takes time, attention, preparation, and these fucks couldn't be bothered to learn something from someone else.
As a sailor who was at sea for most Thanksgivings and Christmas’s while I was in, we LOVED turkey if only for the simple reminder of home. Fuck JD Vance!
I was deployed when I was 20. I remember eating the Thanksgiving meal given to us and almost shedding a tear thinking about my mom and dad on the other side of the world when I was eating that turkey. It made me feel closer to home. Vance is a fucking loser.
I'm waiting for the National Turkey Federation press release tomorrow.
The U.S. turkey industry provides more than 387,346 American jobs with direct wages of $22 billion, many of which are in rural communities across the country. Tens of thousands more Americans are employed in related industries, such as product distribution, equipment manufacturing and a wide variety of other affiliated services. The turkey industry has a direct financial impact of $36 billion, which increases to a total economic impact of $103.4 billion. For a closer look at how the industry creates jobs in your state or congressional district, click here.
Nothing is more tiresome than to hear someone blather on about their food dislikes, and to criticize other people for not sharing them. He sounds like a college girl that no one wants at their cafeteria table because of the way she always says "Eeeew, that's so gross, how can you eat that?" She thinks everyone is impressed that she has such a refined palate and is a delicate little creature who is above crass, material things like food. They all know she has a box of Hostess Ho Hos under her bed.
I had to work for Thanksgiving(nurse). My Asian wife and family had Asian food. My daughter went home and cried because "it wasn't a real thanksgiving without turkey and mash". The next day I made that meal, and we chomped that bird. Vance is an ass head.
Message to Vance: Turkey is great, depending on how it's spiced and prepared. For one with your platform, you're rather thick, like over-flowered brown gravy but I doubt you know much about that.
“Turkey sucks nobody eats it except at thanksgiving” is such a dumb argument too.
Not only is turkey a ridiculously popular lunch meat… but a lot of people eat full-on turkeys year round (myself included). I make them up every now and then to carve up for sandwhiches and salads and stuff. I freeze the meat and it lasts months.
If you season it right, cook to temp instead of time, and find a combination of seasoning / brining / marinading / voodoo dances / whatever that works for you, it’s delicious.
If you take it right out of the package and shove it in the oven until the pop up timer pops, then yeah; shits overcooked, flavorless, and dry.
But like the rest of the Trump administration, JD Vance is mad at the outcome of his own actions.
I know more people that don’t have turkey on Thanksgiving. We had a ham because I don’t care for turkey.
But then one of my husband‘s clients gave him a turkey, so we had both. My husband ended up smoking the turkey, and it actually was pretty good.
Now we have to figure out leftovers for the ham and the turkey
I don’t know why this is a thing for JD Vance. Let people celebrate holidays, however they want to.
On Christmas, we usually treat ourselves to a really nice steak. Like go to the meat shop and get a hand cut steak. I don’t care what the normal thing is to do, I’m eating what I want to eat on whatever holiday it is. That’s called being an adult. I don’t have to do things just because it’s tradition.
America once had a tradition of letting immigrants in too, we see how easily that changed
He's one of those guys who doesn't have a sense of humor and tries really hard to have one. All their jokes are either references that no one gets or jokes that might be funny 40 years ago.
The new Holiday tradition with this regime/administration - piss off as many of your loyal supporters as possible. I’m assuming “deep fried” is the preferred cooking method of most of them.
I guess hes a "never turkey guy" dont worry, give him some time and he'll be on his knees servicing a turkey just like he does with a fat ass pig today.
"Donald Trump is basically Hitler. The guy is an idiot and reprehensible. Im a never Trump guy"
Yeah. I'm gonna say it. This is an absolute nothing burger. Dude cracked a joke, albeit a not terribly funny one, that at some point many of us have made some variant of. There's plenty of reasons to hate on him and this admin, but this isn't really one of them.
Yahoo just took a quote slightly out of context with this headline for clicks.
To be fair, I feel the same about beer. Especially IPA. If you say you like it, I assume you’re lying to kick it. Now, make me the fruitiest drink you can make, please!
I'm so sick of this story. It's an old joke. The vice president tried it and bombed a little bit. If you actually watch the video of it he gets a few laughs at first, but then he tries to turn it into a whole routine...
Anyway I'm tired of people trying to turn it into something way bigger than what it was. We don't need to become maga in order to beat mega.
He wants to be seen as cool and fun, which is hard for a lot of people to disconnect from the awful things he is going along with in this administration. The concept of the joke was a good observation, but JD doesn't have the personality for the delivery.
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Bro thought he was a comedian when he did his skit But what bro doesn't know is the greatest comedy is the current regime he's part of
“What’s the deal with turkey?!”
Such a lame attempt at being clever and funny
That’s gold, JD, gold!
It’s funny because he said “shit” in front of a bunch of people when he himself is an actual pile of steamy stinky dung. It’s a piece of shit, who’s full of shit, saying a bunch of stupid shit. Classic trifecta.
Trump is a master of the trifecta.
Even Bania is above that crappy of a joke
Have you heard his bit about ovaltine?
I mean, now his beard has grown in all 8th of an inch after 5 months, he thinks he's special
From the very mind of "whatever makes sense" when ordering donuts.
i liked this one
Further proof he's too far removed from society. How hard would it been to say, "dealer's choice" if he couldn't pick?
"House special"
Every donut shop I've ever been to has their flagship donut that makes them "world famous" lol.
He wanted to steal their valor by pretending to.be one of them. It obviously didn't work.
Just because his Turkey is like him, white, bland, and tastless doesn't mean all Turkey is bad. He just needs to actually shut up and let the cook do their thing.
He just needs to stfu period.
What is the best way to describe negative charisma? Cause he has that in spades.
Despicable.
The aristocrats of Silicon Valley, the Heritage Foundation and the Federalist Society are all convinced he will rule for 10 years after they invoke the 14th Amendment on Trump, apparently.
Seriously - Him
So uh, you like making donuts?
Yeah the problem with his joke is that’s it’s not true. Turkey is awesome. I don’t know one person who doesn’t love a good thanksgiving turkey meal. I’d eat it way more often if i could.
He just looks weird saying it’s not awesome. Like it seems even ingrained in the culture to like turkey. Fucking weirdo.
Benjamin Franklin thought that the turkey should be our national symbol instead of the bald eagle. I've encountered wild turkeys. I thought that chickens were stupid, ooh boy, turkeys make chickens seem like rocket scientists.
Turkeys are fucking mean. They don't take no for an answer, and their stalking tactics will make you pants-shittingly terrified. Try delivering a holiday package with a territorial tom in the driveway, I fucking dare you.
My kids used to have a turkey that would come “visit” the daycare, and that thing was a menace. More than a few times where she’d jump on top of a car and just refuse to leave.
I have had several driveway showdowns with turkeys while trying to deliver packages. They can be super territorial, and real dumb.
I do not like the shitting of the pants experience
I didn’t know turkeys were so mean! I was wise to go turn around and jog in the other direction when I saw a flock of them hanging out in a yard in northern CA.
I've seen them get in front of my car to keep me from leaving, then stand there all puffed up daring me to do anything about it. They seem to be fearless! To deliver a package, I once had to climb out the van window directly onto the recipient's elevated porch. The tom was standing right next to the car the whole time, waiting for his chance to get me.
One of my friends used to have a pet turkey. It spent most of its time trying to mount and hump a basketball that it was in love with.
Were there any offspring? Because turkey basketball sounds like fun. Dribbling Giblets sounds like a punk metal band.
Just like his whole existence getting attention thru being edgelord contrarian
Whatever makes sense
Was he trying to channel Seinfeld?
Reminds me of the episode when SpongeBob Squarepants tries to do stand up comedy.
I think it's more of a tragedy.
comedic relief therein
Also turkey is hard to make, but can be absolutely fantastic, so if you’re surrounded exclusively by morons, you probably think it’s like, dry metallic meat powder, or something.
Motherfucker just never had good turkey, and like the rest of his buddies, can’t picture another experience besides his own
Life lesson 1) 1 can minute maid OJ 2) one can miller lite
Baste that bitch every 30 minutes.
Don't change the beer, you will want to but just don't. Also you'll need to make gravy a different way.
Don't believe me try it on a chicken. TRY IT!
This regime is both comedy and tragedy.
Erica thought it was funny
yea but he basically made a whole week of it though. Ranting about turkey.
Talking about how Chicken is better. Who tf cares eat whatever you want. I had McDonald's. Come get me.
Bold of you to assume he was thinking at all.
Just makes me think he has stock in pork or chicken or something similar.
"Oh I know, i get America to totally restructure key American cultures (like the Thanksgiving fucking dinner) so I can boost and rugpull stocks. Hey everyone, what if we all had a ham dinner one year, just as a goof!"
- some dumb couch-fucking ****
“Just came from a meeting with KegsBreath…. Boy those coffees were strong, especially the alcohol, now let’s talk turkey.”
Then he said something along the line of having to deep fry meat means it’s not too great of meat, I was like has this mother fucker had fried chicken yet??
How can you claim Appalachia and not like fried food?!? Motherfucker is supposed to be from Ohio, I’m pretty sure that’s were deep fried butter was born. And fuck him for hating on Turkey, that shit is delicious off the smoker.
He supposedly grew up in the region I grew up in, around the same time I did.
If he didn't eat fried chicken, he didn't grow up there. Options were fucking limited around that time in Appalachia.
"He supposedly grew up..."
I'll stop you right there.
“Fuck him…” I’ll stop you there
He's not from Appalachia in the least bit, I'm from his city and it's like an old steel town, some industrial areas but nothing like the picture he paints. You know how major cities are surrounded by tens of miles of not quite urban but not quite suburban? It's like that, pretty much all of the area between Cincinnati and Dayton is like that, the Cincinnati metro area extends much further than most people think, like 2.5 million people live here around the city.
There is a significant chunk of Ohio that's considered to be Appalachia (including the pay where I grew up), but even the most generous maps I've been able to find don't go THAT far. It's like when Ohioans claim to be from "the South."
the guy who struggled to learn how to use a knife and fork when he attended a prestigious university because even his grandma knew the prestigious university surrounded by 'elites' was the only way out.
Fucker can't keep his story straight. Should have stayed in the backwoods and pulled himself up like all the other overlooked brilliant people
I honestly don’t even know anyone who fries their turkey. Everyone I’ve ever met either roasts or smokes theirs.
We fry ours every year! 20lb turkey cooked perfect in like 2-2.5 hours. Crispy skin on the outside and it’s so tender and juicy inside. It’s also so hassle free.
Hassle free! Well, except for the enormous frying pot that you store the other 364 days a year and the 5 gallons of oil you have to buy and dispose of each use.
We use the pot multiple times a year. And filter the oil so it can be used again.
Yeah if you read the article he says that chicken is good cooked 'normally' or deep-fried
*sofa fucker.
Or a turkey sandwich?
He’s just making heroes of the troops that will be tracking him down and arresting him when he goes on the run from the courts. I’m imagining a Sadam spider hole type situation.
We can certainly hope.
Turkey coop
More like Frank Reynolds in a couch
LMFAO!!!!
He will be hiding inside a couch. Well, part of him will be…
Turkey is the most widely used deli meat in America for a reason, Turkey is good af. It's just that roasting a whole one properly can be a big task that most of us arent willing to do regularly. Same way most of use don't smoke a brisket every week or roast a prime rib all the time.
You forgot: we're talking about someone who doesn't have to deal with stuff like that anymore.
He can pay for people to do the task for him.
People's view on stuff changes a lot depending on how involved they are.
"Be honest with yourselves. Who really likes bacon? You're all full of shit. How many times do you roast a 280-pound pig randomly... for a nice morning brunch? Nobody does it, because bacon doesn't actually taste that good."
Exactly
You fucking get it.
It's also AMERICAN AF. Like, it's us. It lives here. National pride is supporting it.
It's really not that hard if you cook all the time, but who the fuck has time to cook well in Trump's America? Shit costs too much and all of us are worked to the bone to subsist.
Turkey really needs to be brined so all the flavor can get into the meat, and it stays tender and moist. But yeah, it's like a nearly week long process. Start thawing on Saturday. Goes into the brine on Tuesday. Gets thoroughly rinsed and needs another day in the fridge to dry out the skin.
It also cooks a lot faster after brining. It was done in under 2 hours this year. Came out amazing. We might do it 1 or 2 more times aside from Thanksgiving a year. It's just so time consuming.
Also, who wants to heat up the house in the summer by cooking a turkey in the oven for hours?
spatchcock it (cut the backbone out and smoosh it flat). It cooks in about 75 minutes. and it doesn't take up the entire oven while it's cooking either.
Maybe that's the subtext here. He's trying to downplay turkey so it's less obvious that that shits gotten expensive. "Who wants to eat that shit anyway"
Who has room in their fridge for a whole, cooked turkey? I can barely fit my beer in there already.
Also, the yield per animal is higher than chicken.
Yea I love having Turkey for Thanksgiving, but you eat it and then you got to do work carving up the leftovers whilst tired from the Turkey consumption. I only want to do that once or twice a year lol.
He does know you can buy individual turkey parts to cook and roast, right? Like i can hop on down to the local supermarket and grab a turkey breast to roast. Or some turkey legs. Or ground turkey (which i sometimes use for meatballs). Like you don't have to buy an 18 pound turkey any time you want turkey. Like you can, they do sell them year round, but you don't have to buy one. Heck, i remember as a kid, my mom would occasionally buy a full turkey, and roast it, and then some of the meat would get carved up for pot pies.
Every time I want turkey, I have a turkey sandwich. Perhaps even a club sandwich.
How do you feel about frilly toothpicks?
Im fucking for 'em!!!
Well this club is formed
RIP 🪦 Mitch! You legend!
Can I have mine on banana bread?
I hate turkey when it’s cooked a whole bird, but I’m all about the smoked sliced turkey deli meat.
“We have a term 'groceries, It's an old term but it means, basically, what you're buying, food… it's a pretty accurate term. but it's an old fashioned sound…”
Turkey was easily the most in demand deli meat when I worked that job.
It's very much more than most people don't want to go through the effort to cook such a large amount of food most of the year.
He doesn't know how to order a donut
You would think someone who grew up super poor and sold for percs would know how to do normal people things, and not be incredibly awkward in all social situations.
Similarly, when he goes to a deli and they ask: “what would you like on it?” He just says: “Whatever makes sense” and stares at them bewildered.
Given that his boss thinks you need ID to buy groceries or pump gas, probably not.
Every time I’ve tried to cook turkey legs, they’ve come out bland af, and I normally like bland. It sounds like you have experience cooking them. Could I have some tips, please?
Best trick, seal them in a foil pouch when cooking them. Then, cook with some good seasonings, honestly, i love cajun seasoning, and you can buy that at any store. A quick dry rub, then foil pouch and bake, and boom, good turkey legs.
People who don't like Turkey can't image how anyone could like it. That plus Vance is trying to develop a stage personality so he can do rallies like Trump and take over when they push Trump out. But he has zero personality. It's like trying to watch DeSantis work a crowd... It's just awkward. It seems he's writing his own material and it doesn't work.
He has all the personality of a fucking dishrag.
It might be hopium, but I don't see anyone on that side with any charisma other than Trump.
For all his failings, Donnie is a natural showman, but once he's gone, I think the movement is going to lose a LOT of it's steam to this problem.
He’s PT Barnum reincarnated: he can sew a monkey head to a fish body and call it the Fiji mermaid and we all applaud his great skill and throw money at him.
Vance just confirmed that neither he, nor anyone in his family, can cook a turkey. I sympathize, I didn't like thanksgiving turkey because my parents were scared of any meat that wasn't burnt to a crisp. I also sympathize because my family were likewise nazis.
Out of touch super wealthy person doesn’t understand why, if you like something, you don’t just get it whenever you want.
Veep: You have one freaking task. - Make the troops feel welcomed to be there. - Tell them thank you for their service and sacrifice - Remind them that what they do, regardless of their job, is very important. It is their sacrifice that makes it possible for the freedoms that all Americans enjoy - It is his responsibility, as Vice President, to remember their service and to maintain his promise to support all the troops implicitly and to provide what's needed for them and their families.
Your responsibilities, Mr Vice President, are few and far between. And yet, you failed to understand the assignment. You fked up the most basic of tasks.
I can't wait to have you gone from office, Mr Couch Fker.
Agree. Calling service members liars about their food preferences is disgusting behavior.
Vance also served in the Marines for 4 years, as a journalist (i believe) who spent his one deployment in an air-conditioned office.
Literally did the bare minimum as easy as he could and has the audacity to shit on other service members over food preference.
This jacka$$ is the second biggest turd to stand in front of troops and pretend leadership.
Big turkey fan here. I live on turkey, chicken, and fish. I've apparently got that alpha-gal thing as I get stomach issues for a couple of days if I eat any kind of beef.
Ol'James D. Bowman there seems full of shit once again. When does the maga social media campaign to back him up kick off? "Alpha males don't eat turkey!"
Hey, Ben Franklin thought the "national bird" should be the turkey, not the bald eagle. Who am I to argue with one of our nation's founders?
Turkey is my favorite meat, I am a woman, I am educated, and I love cats. I also think couches should not be violated. That freaking guy.
Ofc. when you eat a large helping of thanksgiving turkey, you're going to be full of shit.
That's just how digestion works
"It's Christmas Day!" said Scrooge to himself. "I haven't missed it. The Spirits have done it all in one night. They can do anything they like. Of course they can. Of course they can.
Hallo, my fine fellow!" "Hallo!" returned the boy.
"Do you know the Poulterer's in the next street but one, at the corner?" Scrooge inquired.
"I should hope I did," replied the lad.
"An intelligent boy!" said Scrooge. "A remarkable boy! Do you know whether they've sold the prize Turkey that was hanging up there?--Not the little prize Turkey: the big one?"
"What! the one as big as me?" returned the boy.
"What a delightful boy!" said Scrooge. "It's a pleasure to talk to him. Yes, my buck!"
"It's hanging there now," replied the boy.
"Is it?" said Scrooge. "Go and buy it."
“I’m s'rry Mr Scrooge, sir, Mr Vance hast hath said we all art fuckin’ liars, all turkeys sucketh and we bett'r consume chickn” Tiny Tim replied.
“Doth thee cullionly the gentleman yond liketh having amorous rite with his couch?” returned Scrooge
“Yond same gentleman, that gent hast eke hath said Charles Kirk is a h'ro” replied Tiny Tim “And that gent eke likes polishing mr Trump's knob”
“V'ry strange fellows art these MAGA types, isn't t Mr. Cratchit?” Scrooge concluded.
—It’s been said of Mr Scrooge, he had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep away from MAGA types well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!
There's a million recopies online, it just takes time, attention, preparation, and these fucks couldn't be bothered to learn something from someone else.
Only thing that tells me is he’s never had a properly cooked bird OR more likely needs a comedy writer so he can stop writing lame jokes.
Edit- typo
How many of you fuck your couch?
Nobody raised their hands, what a bunch of liars, I fuck my couch so I know you assholes do too!
As a sailor who was at sea for most Thanksgivings and Christmas’s while I was in, we LOVED turkey if only for the simple reminder of home. Fuck JD Vance!
I was deployed when I was 20. I remember eating the Thanksgiving meal given to us and almost shedding a tear thinking about my mom and dad on the other side of the world when I was eating that turkey. It made me feel closer to home. Vance is a fucking loser.
"then why aren't you just roasting an 18lb turkey randomly?" (Or however the fuck he said it...)
Uh...maybe cuz I don't often have to feed 10-15 family members randomly?
I mean... people dislike foods that they dislike. I've been in disbelief when I see people say that they eat cauliflower.
I'm waiting for the National Turkey Federation press release tomorrow.
The U.S. turkey industry provides more than 387,346 American jobs with direct wages of $22 billion, many of which are in rural communities across the country. Tens of thousands more Americans are employed in related industries, such as product distribution, equipment manufacturing and a wide variety of other affiliated services. The turkey industry has a direct financial impact of $36 billion, which increases to a total economic impact of $103.4 billion. For a closer look at how the industry creates jobs in your state or congressional district, click here.
Nothing is more tiresome than to hear someone blather on about their food dislikes, and to criticize other people for not sharing them. He sounds like a college girl that no one wants at their cafeteria table because of the way she always says "Eeeew, that's so gross, how can you eat that?" She thinks everyone is impressed that she has such a refined palate and is a delicate little creature who is above crass, material things like food. They all know she has a box of Hostess Ho Hos under her bed.
Exactly. Like stop talking down to us like we're lesser than and just talk to us normally. Didn't think it was that difficult but it clearly is.
I had to work for Thanksgiving(nurse). My Asian wife and family had Asian food. My daughter went home and cried because "it wasn't a real thanksgiving without turkey and mash". The next day I made that meal, and we chomped that bird. Vance is an ass head.
Message to Vance: Turkey is great, depending on how it's spiced and prepared. For one with your platform, you're rather thick, like over-flowered brown gravy but I doubt you know much about that.
“Turkey sucks nobody eats it except at thanksgiving” is such a dumb argument too.
Not only is turkey a ridiculously popular lunch meat… but a lot of people eat full-on turkeys year round (myself included). I make them up every now and then to carve up for sandwhiches and salads and stuff. I freeze the meat and it lasts months.
If you season it right, cook to temp instead of time, and find a combination of seasoning / brining / marinading / voodoo dances / whatever that works for you, it’s delicious.
If you take it right out of the package and shove it in the oven until the pop up timer pops, then yeah; shits overcooked, flavorless, and dry.
But like the rest of the Trump administration, JD Vance is mad at the outcome of his own actions.
I know more people that don’t have turkey on Thanksgiving. We had a ham because I don’t care for turkey.
But then one of my husband‘s clients gave him a turkey, so we had both. My husband ended up smoking the turkey, and it actually was pretty good.
Now we have to figure out leftovers for the ham and the turkey
I don’t know why this is a thing for JD Vance. Let people celebrate holidays, however they want to.
On Christmas, we usually treat ourselves to a really nice steak. Like go to the meat shop and get a hand cut steak. I don’t care what the normal thing is to do, I’m eating what I want to eat on whatever holiday it is. That’s called being an adult. I don’t have to do things just because it’s tradition.
America once had a tradition of letting immigrants in too, we see how easily that changed
He's one of those guys who doesn't have a sense of humor and tries really hard to have one. All their jokes are either references that no one gets or jokes that might be funny 40 years ago.
If the truth is "if you have to deep fry something, it doesn't taste that good" 90% of American "cuisine" must be utter shit
The new Holiday tradition with this regime/administration - piss off as many of your loyal supporters as possible. I’m assuming “deep fried” is the preferred cooking method of most of them.
I guess hes a "never turkey guy" dont worry, give him some time and he'll be on his knees servicing a turkey just like he does with a fat ass pig today.
"Donald Trump is basically Hitler. The guy is an idiot and reprehensible. Im a never Trump guy"
Yeah. I'm gonna say it. This is an absolute nothing burger. Dude cracked a joke, albeit a not terribly funny one, that at some point many of us have made some variant of. There's plenty of reasons to hate on him and this admin, but this isn't really one of them.
Yahoo just took a quote slightly out of context with this headline for clicks.
To be fair, I feel the same about beer. Especially IPA. If you say you like it, I assume you’re lying to kick it. Now, make me the fruitiest drink you can make, please!
After you eat sh*t, as he does, day in and day out, in this administration, nothing else tastes like anything, anymore, turkey included.
I'm so sick of this story. It's an old joke. The vice president tried it and bombed a little bit. If you actually watch the video of it he gets a few laughs at first, but then he tries to turn it into a whole routine...
Anyway I'm tired of people trying to turn it into something way bigger than what it was. We don't need to become maga in order to beat mega.
He wants to be seen as cool and fun, which is hard for a lot of people to disconnect from the awful things he is going along with in this administration. The concept of the joke was a good observation, but JD doesn't have the personality for the delivery.