I woke up so suddenly as the result of a traumatic event. I never would have viewed the “apostate” material here if it hadn’t been for this sudden major reversal of circumstance.

At the beginning of October I was HARDCORE pimi.

But here I am.

I am SO GRATEFUL you are here to provide this soft landing.

I’ve read Crisis of Conscience, and Combating Cult Mind Control. I’ve watched much of the ARC. I’ve initiated therapy. I’ve reconnected with my disfellowshipped siblings.

I am so thankful that you’re here.

Because of your help, I have been able to reestablish some trust with my children.

I have hope, peace, direction.

Thank you for your activism. I want to reassure you that your time and effort are making a difference.

  • this is beautiful! so glad you're in a better place and SO HAPPY it's improved your relationships with you children. great news.

    ♥

    parent

  • Glad you decided to look around. I was out since 2005, with a couple of attempts to retry that failed. But my mindset was always still in. It's the most liberating thing to stop worrying about the man made rules they imposed. I was arguing with AI about it. I asked for proof. I asked for direct translations of key scriptures. Grok (AI) said I was part of the .1% that don't immediately shut down when confronted with the facts. If you ever need more reassurance, ask around. I talk a lot about the stocks and investments they make. Super hypocritical to disassociate me for military service while they invest in Raytheon, Boeing, Lockheed Martin, and other war profiteers. It cuts me deep. The Watchtower is by definition war profiteers. What made you look outside the borg?

    parent

    Nice you're doing your research. It really does open our eyes, doesn't it!

    parent root

    This is exactly how I felt attending my one and only meeting as a PIMO, fuckkkkkk that.

    parent root

    I’ve seen a post or two about the shady investments, but I haven’t delved in yet. I’ll have to check out your profile and read what you’ve got. Crazy. A few months ago I would have never believed such a thing! Jehovah is accomplishing his will solely on voluntary donations! The more I learn the more disturbing it gets.

    I’m finding AI to be a great tool in my waking up process, too!

    Why I looked around outside? A big thing happened in my life. So big that it’s pretty notorious in my circuit and probably my state. If I mentioned it here, it’d be obvious who I am. I’m willing to talk on DM though.

    parent root

    If it’s notorious everyone knows about it, so it shouldn’t out you right? Or am I missing something? In any case, please dm me I’m curious too

    parent root

    I mean out me as an apostate. I’ll DM you.

    parent root

    I’m unable to message you?

    parent root

    I think I fixed that, could you try again?

    parent root

  • Ray Franz other book in search of Christian freedom is also amazing for deconstructing a lot of the doctrine. I'm atheist myself but it still helped me. It's a monster read compared to crisis though

    parent

  • Thank you! Please post to ask for any help you need.

    Would you mind sharing how things are in your congregation? How is attendance, how are people feeling or anything else about the current state of affairs in JW Land?

    parent

    I’ll try to capture the state of affairs in my congregation, feel free to ask any specifics and I’ll do my best:

    125 publishers. In person attendance averages 75, with 35 devices on Zoom. Never a full recovery after COVID. The most reliable attenders and commenters are grey headed sisters.

    20 regular pioneers. I stopped regular pioneering in 2024. Weekday service groups meet only 3 mornings a week, and zero afternoons. I suspect these pioneers are getting their time by lying. There were a few reg pioneers I had never seen out in service, not once.

    All service groups meet at the hall Saturday morning, because there’s not enough support to meet at individual homes. Maybe 20 on average each Saturday. That’s the whole congregation.

    Regional Conventions were consolidated in my area this summer. We meet at an assembly hall. I noticed there were a few hundred more attendees than the prior years, but someone told me it’s because they had fewer conventions this year. I don’t have exact figures on that.

    In 2023, we only had one ministerial servant. He’d been the only one for years. Last year they appointed probably 6 more over 2 CO visits. Obviously as a sister I don’t know the inner workings, but I swear they must’ve lowered the threshold. Longish hair, don’t comment, no zeal for the ministry.

    There’s definitely a decline over all metrics here.

    As a PIMI, I thought we were just struggling to recover after COVID, and I focused on where I saw growth: Ramapo! Sister so-and-so has a great study! Family X’s 15-year-old got baptized! Yay!

    As a POMO, now I see the whole model is unsustainable. My opinion is that the Governing Body will just switch up the model. They already are.

    parent root

    I realize what I said here is pretty judgey, I do apologize. It always bothered me that to be a good JW, you constantly must be on guard against “bad association.” So you’re constantly holding judgement against your brothers and sisters, looking to identify their “spiritual weaknesses.” I am very happy to be in the process of leaving behind this ugly behavior.

    parent root

    Holding judgment constantly against brothers & sister and be aware of their spirituality like if we are God to judge others it was the first thing that I found weird when I was studying but I put that on the side, got baptized to get in the paradise Lol & not being destroyed by the Amargedodon….then I started judging too🤦🏼‍♀️

    parent root

    Thank you, very interesting. You could make this a post and many would appreciate hearing your view of how things are playing out.

    parent root

  • What exactly triggered your wake up? The things that push off the cliff...

    parent

    A major traumatic event. Basically a death in the family. If I gave details here, I would compromise my anonymity. Maybe one day I’ll be ready for that, but not just yet.

    parent root
  • parent

  • Glad you're here. ❤️‍🩹 I'm pretty new too..lmk if you'd like more reading recs.

    parent

  • One, or the best Crisis of conscience. I haven't read anything so thrilling, related to JW land, all the original letters. That's the one that woke me up. You mentioned children, you are setting them free, that alone is worth any discomfort you may feel.

    parent

  • So glad you’re healing. Welcome.

    parent

  • Congratulations 🩷 wonderful news you are rebuilding your relationships.

    parent

  • Aww! this makes me happy to hear. I’m so glad for you!

    parent

  • So glad to hear that and specially you are healing and recovering your family. This, for me, it's the most important part of waking up. Don't look back in regret, you are doing well. Peace.

    parent

  • Sending you love and light 💕

    parent

  • Welcome to the Resistance.

    parent

  • That’s why this forum is so important. Imagine coming across TTATT in the 80s or 90s (any pre-internet era)… but here you don’t feel alone — you can connect with thousands of people who are in the same situation as you, or who have already been through the same thing, and you never have to feel like a ‘crazy person’ or like you’re the one who’s wrong or broken. I’m really glad that all of us together have been able to help you, and I wish you lots of happiness.

    parent

    That’s exactly why I made this post actually… I was talking with my kids last night, telling them about this community. I told them that without this sub, I would easily be pulled back in.

    I have learned so much and felt so understood here (in a really short amount of time), I know I could never go back.

    parent root

  • Happy you’re healing and most importantly reconnecting with your family you need all the support you can get 🙌🏾

    parent

  • I'm so glad you've started this process. Sending you all the love in the world ❤️

    parent

  • We are happy for you, we love you we understand you and we are here for you if you need us. 😊

    parent

  • I felt the same when I was waking up.. so thankful for the activism, they are so brave!!

    parent

  • Congratulations, and enjoy your newfound freedom! 

    parent

  • OP, so happy for you.

    I hope you are coping well. It's a deep shock to the system when we are forced to confront with something we revered as truth all our lives.

    Wish you strength and calm in your journey. Keep us updated.

    parent

  • So glad you are here. Enjoy life , live and love , sending hugs 🤗🤗

    parent

  • I’m so very happy for you!!! Seeing stories like yours and others is truly heart warming and I wish you amazing happiness moving forward.💙

    parent

  • So glad you woke. Many people never realize how bad the Borg is. They are enslave to the watchtower their full existence as the woman who died this morning ( always on the shadows of their freak husband). Congratulations

    parent

  • Crazy how quick you can wake up when given the right information

    parent

  • So happy you are in a much better place. And This gives me hope for others to wake up 😊

    parent

  • Congrats and welcome!!

    parent