Ive been disfellowshipped/ removed for 16 years. My mom kicked me out at 16 and my family stopped talking to me. Long story short my mom would talk to me then and there. More so after my grandma passed away a few months ago to cancer. I was very close to my grandma, she was the only one who didnt treat me as a "removed" person.
Well last week my friend was sent to the emergency room, they found that he has cancer in his brain, throat and pancreas. The doctors dont know exactly how long he has but they know its not much.
My mom called me to see how I was doing and I told her about my friend. A few days later my mom tells me that my aunt wanted to talk to me. I called my aunt and she tells me how shes been going over to the hospital to see my friend and tell him about Jehovah. I was so mad. My friend cant speak, he has a tube down his throat, he cant move too much from the pain he has. Yet my aunt thinks he's benefiting from this. My aunt has not come to see me or spend time with me since I was removed but she has time to spread this culty crap to my dying friend. On top of that my aunt had so much pride that shes been one of the only people to visit my friend. (My friends family lives out of state and he didnt have much close friends)
I swear JWs are so insensitive!
Still trying to recruit in the hospital is shameful, but they believe they are doing the right thing đ€ź so sorry that you lost your nan , sounds like she was normal and kind. Sending hugs đ€đ
You can tell the staff not to let her in anymore. She's literally harassing him because he can't run away and he's in a very vulnerable place right now.
I'm sorry about your friend's situation and I wish him strength to deal with it.
Regarding the behavior of Jehovah's Witnesses toward people who have been disfellowshipped or removed, their attitudes don't surprise me. Their only concerns are obeying the Governing Body, which includes ostracizing disfellowshipped individuals and preaching their doctrines regardless of the occasion.
Unfortunately, human relations and common sense are not Jehovah's Witnesses' strong points.
Your aunt is dripping the disease of this religion into someone's ear, while all they can do is lie there and listen.Â
This religion that expects parents to let their child die by withholding it a life-saving blood transfusion.Â
This religion that dismisses the facts regarding its role in enabling child sexual abuse as "apostate lies."Â
This religion that fuels homophobia and hate for gay-love by spreading anti-gay propaganda.
This religion that, as you already indicated, resorts to damaging shunning practices to strangle its followers into submission.Â
How awful that someone can only lie there and be force-fed this religion's propaganda...
Will you answer me honestly? I agree with you. I have been OUT for over ten years. I still lcarry shame the rest of my life for being brainwashed and giving into these horrible "truths". In retrospect, I am so ashamed of my thinking and behavior, I believe I was truly evil. I never adopted the thinking that I was better than everyone, because I was pretty much beaten down as a kid, but like I said, the shame I carry and the losses I have experienced are beyond repair. To think, I would have let my child die, or myself for that matter is incomprehensible. I have faught suicidial idiologies for years. I am so sorry. I guess you could say I am totally agnostic/athiest now. However, my fleshly sister is one who is still "in" and would go into hospital and preach like your experience, where I would never do that. I had "boundaries" to respect others beliefs, but sadly, boudaries were stripped from my ability to reason with the blood issue. Shame, guilt, remorse...I don't think I will ever heal. When I hear your story, I am compelled to tell you, I am so sorry, from beyond the deepest recesses of my heart - that these people can inflict such pain by crossing spiritual boundaries - I was one of them to a point. My question, if you knew me as I was then, and now, would you hold contempt for me?
Personally 100% no. You were brainwashed but the difference was you could see past the cult. Your brain could not be swallowed whole. You really should forgive yourself because you had the strength đȘ and fortitude to remove yourself and better yourself. You were taught to be part of a cult. You would not allow it . Spend time being pleased and loving yourself †â€
I don't feel contempt for individual Jehovah's Witnesses, unless they consciously promote hatred, when they have deliberately hurt people, or have been guilty of things like concealing child sexual abuse.Â
The elder who indicated that a gay man's life would probably end in suicide anyway. And wore a grin on his face, while uttering these perverse words, as if he could already look forward to a gay man's suicide in the future.
I certainly do feel contempt for that person.
Most ex-JWs live with the realization that we supported a religious organization that dismisses the facts surrounding child sexual abuse as "apostate lies,".
A religion where they convince their followers that it's a good idea to let a child die by refusing a lifesaving blood transfusion.
Imagine the internal war raging in the minds of ex-jw elders who stood at a child's hospitalbed, urging the parents to abide by the organization's rules and refuse a blood transfusion for the child.
They saw the light of life go out in that child's eyes, only to discover years later that it was all nonsense. A no-blood doctrineemanating from a book publishing company that could grow into a religion.Â
What a difficult internal struggle those people must have.
It won't help. They are ambulance chasers. They are offering insurance that will never pay out and advice that is useless.
I wish your friend all the best.
Your mom is getting older and with the death of your grandmother and your friendâs significant unexpected cancers diagnosis (I am so sorry to hear this) you should expect she is confronting her own mortality right now. The problem is, they donât have the tools to confront mortality.
That's exactly the problem, they think they'll live forever.
Iâm surprised they havenât setup book carts in Hospice facilities yet.
you know they would be there if they were allowed.
Jeez they are so infantile. No ability to read a room. All time is preaching/sales time. Not a moment to just be a human being
Trying Tri save his soul at his last moments. Or, has a captive audience that canât object or walk away
JWs don't know what is thatÂ
From your aunts perspective sheâs giving him comfort before he potentially could die? Hopefully not:/ But as much as weâve all been hurt itâs really really important to try our best to be somewhat unemotional when assessing things. But itâs tough under these circumstances.
To understand your enemy you must put yourself in their shoes. In a way we are actually kind of the adults. Because we have the benefit of knowing both sides. We used to be them. So how can we judge people individually when the organization systematically has turned them to drones. That being said intentions mean a lot! Her intentions were probably not bad. But antagonizing for sure. Iâm sorry about your friend. But I want you to heal and not focus on the bad but the freedom you have from shame, and control etc. the bad thing we all yay is we feel abandoned and alone. And yeah that sucks. I hurt every day from it literally. But we have to take control and responsibility for our future.
They actually think this is being kind to you.
It's disgusting! My family did nothing for me or associated with me since I was 16. I watched from a distance how they would go out of their way to help others ... all trying to pull them into the cult . My husband has a cousin that is deaf , made the mistake of telling my pimi sister about him . She wanted all the details about him , where he lived and his name . She and her elder husband learned sign language through the cult ... so she was determined that she was going to find him and preach to him . It was disgusting , she couldn't help herself ... she kept asking about him . I'm not sure but I can bet she hunted him down to spread the bad news! Hahaha .
holy shit. i would be SO MAD that your aunt is harassing a man on his death bed with her cult shit. that's the height of .... insensitivity? narcissism? callousness?
and what's her point even within her belief system? she's priming him for resurrection? like being brought back from the dead wouldn't get his attention, but this bitch who harassed him on his deathbed, that is going to save him?
i don't even know what i would say to that but it probably wouldn't be very nice.
My RP sister did this to my grandma in the nursing home. She couldn't move or speak, so my sister just sat there for hours doing her nails and preaching. The nails were nice, but we knew it was just to get easy hours and look good for visiting.
'Removed from Fellowship' is the correct term . RfF now replaces DF'd
Gee so some of us are rififi now?
Omg imagine how awful you are dying can't talk or move and a jw creep turns up. Please if he was not interested before it must be beyond adding to his pains. And so what if she thinks its the right thing to do, it is not about her. The hospital staff should know she is an unwanted stranger to him.
I am OP so sorry for all your heartaches and loss.
Any method or opportunity to COUNT TIME---especially if the person doing the proselyting is a D.W.T. (Dub With Title).
The unspoken implication is that you better return to Jehovah if want to see your friend in the resurrection because him hearing The Truth means there's a good chance he will be resurrected.
They're using your friend as a manipulation-object to get at you!
do you really want to be part of this " TRUE" religion or is it best just to back off, relax and accepted as a learning experience where we duped?
My goodness this is so awful. But i'm not surprised. Cults prey on the vulnerable. This is their prime meat. A dying man is more likely to listen to an everlasting life speech than say someone like you or I. In fact most of the JW community is filled with vulnerable ppl because it is a lot harder to convert a confident, secure and educated person.
This is twice as offensive because your mother is telling you this for what?! Comfort?! To indicate your Aunt is thinking of you by "comforting" your friend?! A sign of solidarity?!! Disgusting. At your expense. While still ignoring you unconditionally.
Im so sorry. Let your boundaries protect you and those you love, time to be deliberate with what you share with your mother, because you should protect yourself and your friend from these people with their misdirected agenda.
I think you have to mention that to the hospital, just make them aware, because that won't help your friend get better.
Counting the check box
Iâm soo sorry. That is so insensitive and full of self gratification. itâs a terrible situation and Iâm sorry for your pain.
The thing is in their world this makes sense. They find it very hard to accept not everyone sees things the same way and they will indeed cross boundaries if it aligns with their views. I always try to remember that if the intentions are pure then the behaviour can be excused and the boundary can be re-established.
itâs the practice of preying on people in their lowest moments! iâd possibly tell someone at the hospital to not let her back in his room if you can
What may be a false hope to you might not necessarily be to someone else. Youâre projecting your feelings onto a person whoâs obviously terminally ill. It has been statistically proven that sometimes the voice and presence of visitors in hospital settings, sharing their faith and/or prayers with patients can work wonders or miracles. Human connection is extra powerful and without is detrimental, hence the reason so many JWs or exâs are in so much despair. We truly are emphatic to your ordeal, however family conflict or trauma shouldnât interfere with what could be Divine intervention to restore your loved oneâs health or life. You should speak to your aunt, and express that, she is NOT the Almighty nor ultimate Judge, that her god, Jehovah states that He is. She doesnât need your permission, but she should be diligent in earning your respect by letting you know she plans to visit the hospital. Do not speak negatively regarding her beliefs to your ailing friend despite of his condition. When people are on the brink of possible death, they usually will accept the belief of God or an unexplainable higher source to comfort them. Remember the evildoer on the death stake next to Jesus, accepted and believed Jesus was the Messiah, our mediator and the son of God towards the end of his life. And Jesus promised him âyouâll be with me in paradise.â, a FUTURE â restored life. Paradise is an earthly destination. Heaven is celestial not earthly. Itâs your aunt and motherâs Christian responsibility to still minister to everyone, including you (maybe not as often or directly). Allow them to share a comforting bible passage whenever youâre feeling anxious, defeated or stressed. Let her know youâd appreciate or allow her to share as long as she/they wonât pressure or guilt trip you for non attending the hall. This can help keep you in contact and and she wonât feel youâre completely rejecting the idea of a Creator or God. How you process that information is your business not theirs. As a JW, she should know and respect that. Lastly, a grandmotherâs love is priceless, we are and were very close to ours. We share your pain. Sending well wishes.
*Edited for grammar.