Like it's well known that physical accident can disable you for the rest of your life so why can't they understand trauma work the same ?

I hate this idea that no you can always heal no matter what appen and it ALWAYS come from ppl who went through barley nothing.

Imo it just enables society responsibilities bc if ppl can always heal no matter what why bother having a competent child protection service ? Why bother calling the police when the neighbors are abusive? Why bother taking sexual assault victims seriously since it's believed that if you can't heal you just haven't tried hard enough.

Like seriously at some point it always become the victims fault do they seriously expect ppl to get over sm shit and become functioning society members when society has failed them sm ??

Sorry for any English mistakes it's not my first language and I'm writing that while being really tired

  • I think there’s a middle ground to be found. The feeling of being “broken beyond repair” itself is a common manifestation of trauma and can lead to self-destructive behavior. Often, people over correct and act like everything can be fixed, and easily at that. In reality, all we can do is strive to be our best.

    parent

    Exactly! We should always try to better our situation and that includes trying to heal as much as we can FOR OUR OWN SAKE, but the expectations from society to completely heal or at the very least act like it is just crazy and unachievable for a lot of ppl

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  • For a long while I thought healing from trauma meant being my old self again. That if I could somehow figure out what was preventing me from being the old me that I would be happy again. 

    At some point in my own healing I changed my definition of healing to simply finding a new happiness. It really helped me to accept that there was the way I was before, there is who I am now, and that there is no way I can change what happened. The trauma won't ever go away, but the more I dedicate to making myself happy the less it affects me. 

    I hope you can find your new way to be happy again too. 🫂

    parent

    I'm so happy to hear that ! Not being able to fully heal doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to find a situation that is good or at least better for us and that we can't be happy at all

    Ty very much i really appreciate 🫂

    parent root

    I think you’re defining fully healing in a way that’s incompatible with human experience. You never get to be who you were in the past. Healing doesn’t mean making the past not happen.

    Healing is no longer continuing to experience regular emotional or physical harm from previous events. If you haven’t achieved that you shouldn’t stop seeking help to achieve it, even if you will never achieve it.

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    Hey is your username a reference to Thrice, the band? stim stim stim stim

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  • as someone who frequently wakes up screaming in terror for the past 25 years, I heartily agree. EMDR and ART didn't help. clonidine doesn't help.

    I'm just resigned to sleeping in 90 minute bursts and waking up drenched in sweat.

    parent

    oh neighbor. :( im so sorry to hear youre suffering that. as someone with a history of Horror Insomnia, that sounds like literal torture and i hope that one day you can actually get some relief from that. im proud of you for continuing forward despite such a shitty, unfair hand dealt to you.

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    hey thanks. you're very kind. 

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  • I had one person tell me that “2 years is too long to be still affected by trauma” HELLO?? HAVE YOU EVER HAD TRUAMA BEFORE SIR 😢

    parent

  • i think sometimes replacing harmful coping mechanisms with healthier coping mechanisms can look to some like healing, but that wound is always going to be there. There are ways to support ourselves instead of abandoning ourselves, but that also takes a lot of work, energy, and time. and it’s not a linear process where one day things are just better. it helps to take the time to understand the wounds, the triggers, to better be able to support ourselves and to give context to loved ones. that doesn’t look like erasing the impact of the trauma, because that impact can be so deep and likely won’t ever go away completely.

    parent

  • This is just a skill issue on the non-traumatized person’s part.

    “Healing” means coping and being functional again - not that you won’t still be traumatized.

    parent

  • Even if you could heal completely it takes so much work, stopping the trauma in the first place is so important

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  • I just deal with the triggers from trauma as best as I can. It doesn't go away. While I consider my emotions to be valid and real, the way I deal with them is something i can control.

    parent