My "English" menu at a Japanese fusion restaurant in Paris a few years back
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  • 4 points wishiwasinvegas

    Oh waiter, I'll have the "Little Swett Slap" please!

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  • 1 points Puzzleheaded-Phase70

    This is fantastic đŸ€Ł

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  • 1 points grouchdown

    Rice field’s seed with the only ingredient as rice bowl is the funniest to me. Why didn’t they just put “Rice Bowl”

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  • 3 points TobytheBaloon

    “Good, not spicy”

    Spicy salmon

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  • 1 points mieke_nzzzz

    Is Cloudy water their version of “Bath water à la Saltburn”?

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  • 1 points Friendly_Muffin_9369

    The proper tun(a)

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  • 1 points thelast3musketeer

    Cloudy water

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  • 2 points Spikethevampire96

    I snorted Monster out my nose when I saw "[blowtorch] yukari cream" hahaha

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  • 4 points CucumberChronicles

    little swett slap is flooring me

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  • 2 points see_you_than

    Does one cook the salmon before zesting it?

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  • 5 points Darthplagueis13

    I'm having a hard time imagining what the "Little swett slap" is like.

    Like, what do you mean by "Creme Brulee made with foie gras cream"? Is it straight-up a foie gras based custard with a layer of caramellized sugar on top? And if yes, why?

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  • 3 points No-Elephant672

    What !!!!!!! No rice crispy’s

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  • 1 points Poo_Poo_La_Foo

    Warriors kiss def sounds like a sex move.

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  • 4 points FormicaDinette33

    Quivering Eggplants, Batman!!

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  • 1 points kg2k

    Roasted endives. Like the lettuce ? Why!?

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  • 1 points thetoerubber

    Sounds more like they had creative French names that were translated. This is not unusual in France (I lived there for a few years), sometimes even the locals don’t know exactly what a dish on the menu is. Just look at the descriptions and if it sounds good, roll the dice!

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  • 3 points Dramatic-Lie-4993

    Mother’s omelette !

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  • 2 points Kuroi-Inu-JW

    When you’ve been firing people all day and just wanna sub for a while
 try a Little Swett Slapℱ.

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  • 1 points Screamcheese99

    Bucolic stroll. Sounds nice. Like a walk in the park

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  • 1 points Healthy-Cupcake2429

    Is it though? Those all sound like they gave the dishes names rather than badly translated.

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  • 1 points Forward_Tank8310

    When working for the U.S. division of a large Japanese electronics manufacturer, I went frequently to HQ in Hiroshima. I learned quickly not to ask what I was eating, & enjoyed it much more.

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  • 8 points LtLemur

    My eggplant is quivering

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  • 4 points dr_kosinus____

    sounds poetic ngl

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  • 3 points ViolentThemmes

    I really wish I could see the French to translate and compare. aubergine tremblante 🍆

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  • 3 points straightrazorsnail

    Lil sweet slap lmao

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    1 points No-Joke369

    *swett...lol

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  • 3 points BlazeSpliffington

    Good, not spicy

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    1 points hashandslack
    • spicy salmon
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    1 points CherryPie1208

    Even salmon gaslights me 😭

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  • 8 points NargsiKoftay

    Quivering Eggplants is going to be my new username.

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    2 points Easy-Concentrate2636

    So many to choose from: Cloudy Water, Bucolic Stroll, a rest of salmon.

    I lean towards Little swett slap.

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    1 points NargsiKoftay

    Ngl, that kinda slaps! (pun intended)

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  • 4 points Aggravating_North246

    Warrior's kiss đŸ„”đŸ˜

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  • 3 points Quarkonium2925

    đŸ†đŸ«šđŸ†

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  • 7 points ohfrackthis

    Little sweat slap đŸ˜±

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  • 4 points Shouko-

    quivering eggplants is crazy 😂

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  • 3 points AWindows-macOS-11

    I wished to give an award, but don't really have Gold. But yeah. I'm so hungry and would totally go for the Four Seasons right now.

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    1 points No-Ad1975

    i gave them a free one ❀

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    2 points Quarkonium2925

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  • 5 points Responsible-Bed-7171

    Cloudy water....

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  • 7 points Joudheyo

    How will I drink Cloudy Water? When I'll open the bottle it'll go up in the sky!

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  • 15 points Shinyhero30

    Quivering eggplants has an IMPLICATION

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    1 points Top-Independence-920

    And only 6 euros! I call that a steal

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  • 10 points Shirikova

    Yes, I'll take the "Good, not spicy", please!

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    8 points KillYourHeroesAndFly

    Good, not spicy.

    Spicy salmon 🧐

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  • 11 points Nosaja_adjacenT

    Little swett slap was my nickname in...

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  • 14 points sharkyire

    Tender is the heart sounds like a Lifetime movie

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  • 21 points Roadgoddess

    I’d be all over that swett!

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    2 points wchutlknbout

    Bet that swett slaps

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  • 7 points Geeahwellidunno

    These are very cheeky!

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  • 43 points startles

    Did my dog write this menu

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    15 points allegroconspirito

    Mother's omelette !

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  • 43 points Western-Session-7669

    Good, not spicy

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    25 points Forlorn_Cyborg

    spicy salman

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  • 35 points Embarrassed_Wrap8421

    That Warrior’s Kiss sure makes my eggplant quiver.

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    14 points AlexandriaLitehouse

    But only after a bucolic stroll!

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    7 points Embarrassed_Wrap8421

    Right next to the cloudy waters. Yes, my eggplant is quivering.

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    5 points FalxIdol

    my eggplant is quivering

    Sir, this is a Wendy’s fusion restaurant.

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  • 10 points wetalonglegs

    It’s so funny lmao

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  • 27 points L00k_Again

    It seems intentional. How else is everything other than the title of the dishes spelled perfectly?

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    19 points amuday

    It seems a little suspect, but specific ingredients are easy to translate directly while the names of dishes are often expressions or idioms. For an English example, if you translated egg in a hole to Chinese it wouldn’t make sense, but there’s a straightforward way to translate egg, bread, butter.

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    9 points olivinebean

    In England we have a dish called Bubble & Squeak

    It’s already a weird name

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    1 points Nosaja_adjacenT

    Don't that make you fart? Bubble & Squeak?

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    5 points toxcrusadr

    In France that would be...well the French would turn up their nose and never serve such a dish.

    That's OK, more for us!

    Anyway I want the quivering eggplant!

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  • 16 points WinOld1835

    I can't decide if I want the bucolic stroll, quivering eggplants, or a zest of salmon.

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  • 29 points procrastinatewhynot

    little swett slap

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  • 31 points stoned_seahorse

    My husband would instinctively order "Good, not spicy".. 😅

    Edit: lmao I just read the description, saying that it is, in fact, spicy.

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  • 23 points ProneToAnalFissures

    MFW I order the Good, Not Spicy

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  • 41 points Confident_Scheme_716

    I just love “little swett slap” props for clear explanations though.

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  • 6 points britishmetric144

    Dire Ă  moi que vous ne parlez pas anglais, mais ne dire pas Ă  moi que vous ne parlez pas anglais.

    (I apologise if I got the grammar wrong, French is not my first language obviously).

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    1 points RohelTheConqueror

    Not bad, a correct translation would be "Dites-moi que vous ne parlez pas anglais sans me dire que vous ne parlez pas anglais".

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  • 17 points LilyGaming

    At least the descriptions help. But creme brĂ»lĂ©e with foie gras? Isn’t that goose or duck parts that’s been force fed to the point of not being able to walk? Animal cruelty aside, who puts meat in that???

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    8 points toxicatedscientist

    I think it means they use the sauce that would normally be served with/on the tortured animal, not the animal parts

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    2 points LilyGaming

    Ohhh yeah that makes more sense

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  • 83 points anntss

    Rice field as no return, sounds like horror movie title

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    4 points imathrowyaaway

    welcome to the rice fields motherfucker

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    4 points TeaJanuary

    It's the sequel of Alexander Returns on Rice (from the very mistranslated Turkish menus)

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    6 points RatherGoodDog

    Fucking 'Nam flashbacks, man. You weren't there!

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    3 points Slinkwyde

    A student sits in the bleachers of the athletic field at Rice University. He pulls out his MacBook while waiting for the game to start. Oh no! He broke his return key! Will he finish his paper in time? Will his GPA survive“

    This summer, grab on tight to your keyboard and hold for dear life.
    There will be no Esc!
    Coming to a theater near you.

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  • 64 points LOERMaster

    Are you sure you weren’t in a brothel because this reads like a menu of sex positions.

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    23 points darkcity1999

    "Mother's omelette" really takes a different meaning.

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    2 points AhegaoSuckingUrDick

    Oyakodon, in fact, has another meaning you're implying.

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  • 35 points _Asshole_Fuck_

    This is art.

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  • 60 points TheComicalSans

    There's a lot of silly ones here, but the best got to be:

    Cloudy Water - Today's Broth

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  • 31 points Matthews628

    Just tell me if it’s A) good and B) spicy

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    2 points ResponsibleDay

    A) yes B) no. But also yes.

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  • 16 points 92233720368547758080

    Karen: “WHY ARE MY EGGPLANTS QUIVERING? ARE THEY SHOCKED BY THE FACT THAT IM GOING TO FILE 98765 LAWSUITS AGAINST THIS RESTAURANT?”

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  • 39 points wimpy_one

    I have an “English” menu from the south of Spain that has entrees like “salad of green jews” and “tuna and blow”. đŸ€Ł

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    1 points lime_green_galaxy

    OH my goodness that takes me back to school days, I went to a very Jewish school and we had regular laughs about the fact that judías verdes could technically also mean green Jews. Context really is everything! 😂

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    5 points LilyGaming

    Please post the image 😂

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    3 points wimpy_one

    I’ll never find it, sorry! This was 15 years ago

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    2 points LilyGaming

    Oh lol, I just thought when you said you have it that you currently possess it, but I also have things I know I own but haven’t been able to find in years XD

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    7 points KhajiitPaw

    My favourite find ever and I swear this is true is from a small Spanish restaurant, outwith the really touristy areas.

    A pizza with "Fragmentation hand grenade" as a topping. I don't know how this happened except that grenades sometimes have pineapple as a nickname.

    This was probably 20 years ago too, so can't blame ai.

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    5 points Username_Taken_65

    "Pomegranate" and "grenade" are the same or similar in many languages, in Spanish both are "granada."

    The weapon is probably named after the fruit, because early grenades were filled with shrapnel pellets that resembled pomegranate seeds and were a similar size and shape. (The alternate explanation is that the word for the weapon was derived directly from the Latin "grānātus," which means "having many seeds or grains")

    The fruit's name comes from the Latin "pƍmum grānātum," literally "fruit with many seeds." Apparently, the French were calling the fruit "grenate" by the early 1300s while grenades weren't used in Europe until the late 1400s. The English "pomegranate" evolved through Anglo-Norman, while "grenade" was taken directly from French much more recently.

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    11 points LilyGaming

    The true pizza debate: does fragmentation hand grenade belong on pizza?

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    7 points KhajiitPaw

    It's a flavour explosion!

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    3 points dwertyyhhhgg

    Yeah lemme get uhhh 7 tuna and blow to go please

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  • 57 points 2020mademejoinreddit

    Fun fact, most "Japanese" restaurants in France are actually owned by chinese people.

    The only truly authentic restaurants in Paris that you'll find are in a specific area. "Rue Sainte-Anne" is the place you will find authentic Japanese food.

    Everywhere else, it's most likely a chinese operated place. Including this one.

    And chinese translations more often than not look like this. I'm pretty sure that's what this is.

    Source: I have family there, so I visit it pretty often.

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    6 points loquedijoella

    In California it’s similar. Chinese or Korean, generally. If you go to Torrance or Little Tokyo there are more Japanese operations. But I have walked into a sushi joint and was greeted with ‘onyeonghasayo!’ and it made me laugh

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    2 points Anra7777

    In Massachusetts it’s a mixed bag. Some are Japanese run, others are Chinese run.

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    1 points 2020mademejoinreddit

    I know about those places, yeah, haven't been there in a long time, almost a decade now. I also remember Sawtell having lots of actual Japanese shops and restaurants.

    I remember more Koreans in places like Chinatown, than Japanese or chinese, which is funny to me and sort of ironic.

    Last I heard Little Tokyo wasn't doing too well after 2020, but K-Town is thriving.

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    13 points Crow_away_cawcaw

    Sort of related - I lived in Vietnam for a decade, theres a huge việt diaspora in France as French formerly colonized VN, So lots of viets working in Paris especially in the food industry.

    When they went to France as refugees after the American war, Vietnamese food wasn’t trendy or well known, so a lot of people including my friend’s family opened or worked in Chinese restaurants. They have had a family “Chinese” restaurant for almost 40 years.

    Now, Chinese food isn’t popular anymore, but Vietnamese food is considered very cool and trendy. A Chinese family across the street opened a Vietnamese restaurant. None of them are viets, and nobody in the Chinese restaurant are Chinese. Lots of family drama in the restaurant because of it haha

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    2 points 2020mademejoinreddit

    Oh damn! So even the Vietnam restaurants aren't all Vietnamese?

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  • 49 points TheHiggsBosom

    Holy quivering eggplants Batman!

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  • 21 points Matty_D47

    I'll pass on the bukake

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    3 points Opening-Cress5028

    We must have different menus. Let’s swap.

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    1 points Matty_D47

    Done, just let me order some cloudy water and it's all yours lol

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    26 points Pups_the_Jew

    Not even a Little Swett Slap?

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    3 points Matty_D47

    I'll just try a little bit of yours when it gets here. My menu is all sticky

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    4 points one-hit-blunder

    [Come on, your mom] was more brave.

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    1 points Matty_D47

    I'm still not ready to talk about how my mom died one-hit-blunder. Too soon

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    2 points one-hit-blunder

    Drowning in cock, yeah I'm sorry. It was hard to watch. Even harder watching your dad watch. Condolences, lil bro.

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    1 points Matty_D47

    Saying he just watched is kind of a stretch, he was just waiting his turn

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  • 58 points TheBestUsernameEver-

    Tender is the heart of the quivering eggplants~

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    18 points merelyok

    Everything reminds me of FUCK THE DUCK UNTIL EXPLODE


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    12 points TheBestUsernameEver-

    And "roasted chicken that has never had sexual life"!

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    4 points merelyok

    Poor chicken

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    2 points TheBestUsernameEver-

    This one, if you haven't seen it!

    https://www.reddit.com/r/engrish/s/4YTPxcrNeT

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  • 10 points WarEnvironmental1839

    Not engrish, amusing description

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    1 points OutOfTheBunker

    Why? Rule 2.3?

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  • 80 points Ved_s

    Good, not spicy

    reads fine print: Spicy salmon

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    1 points hollowspryte

    This one was my favorite

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    5 points lislejoyeuse

    I think the spice gets cut by the crusty rice thankfully

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    7 points PileofTerdFarts

    beat me to it. lol.... what?

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  • 64 points mrmoe198

    I lost it at “little swett slap”

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    2 points a22x2

    This sounds like a term of endearment from a brusque but indulgent, apron-wearing German mother as she give you a little tap on the rear with her kitchen spoon

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    1 points mrmoe198

    I love it. I’m here for the specificity.

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    15 points blu3tu3sday

    The description of the dish turned my stomach. I hope to never again encounter a creme brulee with fois gras cream.

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    1 points hollowspryte

    That’s so funny, I was imagining being at this restaurant with my fiancĂ© while I was reading the menu for some reason, and I was like, we’d definitely get that.

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  • 38 points DonatedEyeballs

    Honestly , this whole menu is poetry. ee

    cummings ., would weep

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    20 points Chaost

    Tender is the heart against the current cloudy water. 🎎

    Bucolic stroll, warrior's kiss—good, not spicy... little swett slap. đŸ‘©đŸ»â€â€ïžâ€đŸ‘šđŸ»

    Quivering eggplants! The roots of maki sushi! Rice field's seeds! 🍆💩

    ...

    The four seasons... đŸ€°

    The rice field as no return. Mother's omelette. đŸ„š

    The proper tuna, a zest of salmon. đŸ‘¶

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    16 points BlackfishBlues

    Mother’s omelette !

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    10 points DonatedEyeballs

    The proper Tun(a)

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  • 25 points AeronGrey

    Just a glass of cloudy water, please...

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  • 44 points DonatedEyeballs

    “Good, not spicy”

    Ingredients start with “spicy salmon”

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  • 20 points Secure_Enthusiasm354

    Yes sir, how would you prefer your salmon dish?

    Me: ah yes, I would like a bowl of soy sauce with just a zest of salmon

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  • 8 points DobbyFreeElf35

    Okay but what did you eat though? I'd just get a few different things and hope it's not awful

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  • 39 points dankyspank

    "Quivering eggplants" sounds like something out of a Victorian-era novel

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    5 points featherwolf

    "his quivering eggplant was fully exposed..."

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    8 points EstrellaDarkstar

    I was thinking a bad smut fanfic, myself. Genres shift but some things never change, I suppose.

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  • 13 points m0rdredoct

    I read the top one as "Salad, algae, tofu, and French dressing with someone."

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    4 points MotorLive

    My mind’s-eye pronounced the word “steack” like “steack,” and not “steak.”

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  • 3 points YellowOnline

    This isn't Engrish.

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    1 points OutOfTheBunker

    Why? Rule 2.3?

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    2 points MinecraftPlayer799

    Yes it is

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  • 12 points LAF2death

    I’ll have the roots of maki sushi please. Okay so in 1435 a Japanese fisherman brought home some
..

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  • 23 points radish_is_rad-ish

    This feels like puns or word play being translated literally

    Love it ha

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  • 25 points Oldy_VonMoldy

    I’ve always had to pay extra for a little swett slap.

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  • 24 points lime_green_galaxy

    Quivering eggplants no no no đŸ™‚â€â†”ïž

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  • 19 points BrD_87

    These names are hilarious, but also charming in their own way.

    I’ll have some “against the current” and “proper tun(a)”, please!

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  • 17 points kshiau

    She went for the bucolic stroll

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  • 17 points thr1ceuponatime

    Everything that isn't "Cloudy Water" looks good.

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    9 points jamar030303

    I dunno, I don't think I could do the "little swett slap" the first time around.

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  • 12 points Electronic-Space-480

    At least it’s not all spelling errors.

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  • 17 points Nothingisperfect33

    Hahaha TBH I’d order one of each they all have such a whimsical description while sounding absolutely delicious at the same time!!!! Sign me up at once!

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    5 points ladydanger2020

    The tuna mayonnaise omelet?

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    2 points hollowspryte

    I’m sure that’s delicious. Tonnato is a pretty common Italian sauce and I see no reason it wouldn’t work in an omelette

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    2 points kr1681

    You mean like the creme brulee made with goose liver? đŸ€ą

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    5 points MagnusAlbusPater

    Not as weird as it sounds. Fois gras is essentially meat butter. It’s lightly organy and mineraly in flavor but it’s nowhere near as strong as beef liver.

    I do like offal though and I’ll happily go to down on a plate of liver and onions or chopped liver made with schmaltz.

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    1 points kr1681

    Making creme brulee with butter sounds weird. But I like to try new things

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    4 points Nothingisperfect33

    I’ll try anything once

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    6 points Nothingisperfect33

    I’m guessing the description might make it sound different than it really is, like the “cloudy water” hahaha

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  • 15 points pumpedeus

    [blowtorch]

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  • 22 points sleipnirthesnook

    Mmmm cloudy water sign me up!

    parent
    8 points user10205

    That's just miso soup.

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    1 points Sobriquet-acushla

    That’s what I figured.

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  • 48 points NicheButNotNietzche

    quivering eggplants

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    15 points bengal-cat

    It sounds like an exclamation :) like quivering eggplants! I forgot my umbrella

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    16 points Ill-Wear-8662

    That one has me crying

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    20 points TheRealRigormortal

    My eggplants are quivering

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  • 29 points SpicyEntropy

    "Warrior's Kiss" sounds like the gentle prelude to a night of incredible passion and a morning of new bruises.
    I'm in!

    parent
    8 points pensivegargoyle

    First you have the Warrior's Kiss and then that leads to Quivering Eggplants.

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    6 points Nothingisperfect33

    Incredible passion and some rare beef!!!

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    12 points Serotonin_Sorcerer

    Sounds very Klingon

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    14 points Ellium215

    But are you ready for his steack?

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    5 points SpicyEntropy

    Probably not, but that's part of the fun!

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  • 13 points Icehuntee

    Tender is the heart when I'm not with you.

    Tender is the heart, ain't no light shining through

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    5 points FadeAway77

    Blur from the top rope!!

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  • 16 points Additional-Fig-2905

    The first thing I noticed is that the menu is right-justified. Maybe I'm being a swett slap, but this seems weird.

    parent
  • 12 points TemperReformanda

    Do you have any Good Spicy?

    parent
    25 points butterflyfrenchfry

    I love how it’s called “not spicy” and the first ingredient is spicy salmon

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    10 points Nothingisperfect33

    Good, not spicy. 1st thing listed SPICY. đŸ©·đŸ©·đŸ©·đŸ©·

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    9 points alisonvict0ria

    As a very white person who can handle exactly 0 spice, I am very glad they decided to include a description of the dish because from name alone, that's the one I'd pick. 😳

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    10 points TemperReformanda

    Yeah the Spicy version uses salmon from Chernobyl

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  • 9 points mishma2005

    This reminds me of the restaurants in SF’s Chinatown that are open after hours and you just blindly point to something and hope for the best

    parent
    5 points featherwolf

    That was more or less what I did, lol

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  • 19 points PsychologicalExam717

    Quivering Eggplants is my new band name.

    parent
    9 points KudosOfTheFroond

    Quivering Eggplant & the Little Swett Slaps

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  • 11 points Rudi-G

    I will take the one with the blowtorch, please.

    parent
  • 28 points path_freak

    Little swett slap

    parent
  • 15 points path_freak

    Hehhhheeeee quivering eggplant

    parent
  • 8 points QazsedcScientia

    I wonder if they also provide Good, yes spicy?

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  • 7 points FangsBloodiedRose

    Quivering eggplants either sounds cute or sexy

    parent
  • 10 points PinkGlitterMom

    Gee, it all sounds so good, "I think I'll try..." MOTHERS OMELETTE!!!

    parent
  • 12 points spiritofniter

    "Warrior's Kiss" sounds like either a power melee attack or a heavy metal album XD

    parent
    1 points YanCoffee

    Or two hot, sweaty warriors on the battlefield, and as they gaze into each other's eyes, they realize...

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  • 9 points Weskit

    I want some Little swett slap!

    parent
    4 points featherwolf

    Don't we all

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