I am not happy as a guy, but while I wish I was a girl, I'm at the point where I don't even know what I want. I'm in a constant cycle of wishing I was a girl and wanting nothing more, to feeling okay, and I don't like feeling okay, because when I feel alright, I don't think about being a girl. Then I feel like i have to remind myself that I want to be a girl and that I am a girl because if it's not at the front of my mind like it always is, than I'm not a girl and it's just this over and over and over.
But none of this makes sense. I've spent 20 years of my life living as a guy, and spent like 6 of those years wishing to be a girl but being a guy is all I know. I do feel like a girl though, but why couldn't I have just been born a girl? I cry almost every other day over this.
I'm sorry for just rambling but, idk. I'm tired of this, tired of not being able to do anything or not being able to tell anyone. I might try to come out to a friend later, but who knows how that's going to go. I'm tired, I'm scared with everything happening. I am not happy as a guy, but maybe I can be happy as a girl.
Why couldn't I have just been born as Emily or Ophelia instead of....this. This isn't living. I just surviving trapped in my own body and i hate it.
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I just want to be free to live comfortably. And I wish I had a partner to comfort me instead of coming here, as great as you all are. I'm tired living life scared, alone and in the closet.
Dear Ophelia
I know things are really hard right now, ill be completely open with you with my problems as well, you're a strong woman, and I'm the same boat with you.
Girl I've been trying to lose weight and I just cant, I'm 6'4" and i have extremely wide shoulders, I hate it.
But the fact you're still here prooves that theres still more to come, and you one day you'll be happy being yourself wither its with or without family, the best thing life is that you make it how you want.
P.S. Good girllll :33
I hear you Emily, it really sucks and sorry you've gotta go through this. I know a lot of people here are in the same/similar boat and just want you to know that pretty girlies like yourself are still doing okay even with all the struggles.. You're a good girl Emily!!
Hope you're feeling a bit better princess 🩷🩷🩷
I'm in the same boat also in my 20's. Putting my feelings into art helped journaling too. Your a good girl Emily Ophelia, you got this girl!