with a nice man. I'm in a newish relationship and a few weeks ago we decided it would be fun to get a hotel room in our city for a couple of nights. This will be at a venue that has tons of bars, live music, etc. I absolutely know I will be drinking, but I don't want it to get out of control to a point that I ruin our time either with arguments, making a fool out of myself, or just horrible withdrawing.
He drinks but he can stop himself no problem. Of course it's the holidays and I'm off of work so I’ve been drinking more than I normally do - I'm sitting here absolutely terrified that I won't be able to control myself. Perhaps I set some rules with myself to not have a drink until it hits 7 pm? No day drinking? Jesus Christ I hate myself right now.
Get a glass of water as often as possible to make sure you don't cross that line
Drink enough so you don’t get the shakes and eat a hefty meal before to soak up the alcohol.
Any naltrexone? Pop one of those about an hour before you start each day.
Stick to beer.
If you absolutely have to drink, match his drinks but make every second one non-alcoholic.
I found that if I was drinking with people who didn't have a problem if I made sure I was matching their drinking then it would be socially weird for me to go overboard
I can so relate ... I haven't been in the exact situation, but similar.
You mentioned worries about withdrawals ... do you mean you're currently at the point of needing to drink to not have withdrawal symptoms, or do you mean more like just a bad hangover? That was a disonguishing point for me ... when I had my first physical withdrawal symptom. I had been drinking almost daily, but not TOO bad. But it was at that point I knew the game had changed.
I have spent the last 6 years on the recovery/relapse rollercoaster. 2x in residential rehab, DUI, a few rounds of IOP & OP, a few months here and there of sobriety. It sucks. I've also had times of truly hating myself.
In the situation you described, I'd tell myself everything in the book to convince myself that I could moderate ... all the things you've mentioned and more.
You don't mention anything about wanting to quit ... is your goal to moderate? If so, then the Naltrexone might be a good solution. There are different ways to take it ... some people have had success with The Sinclair Method (TSM).
Our brains get pretty jacked from drinking ... so try to give yourself some grace, but also give a hard look at what you're doing to yourself -- physically, mentally, emotionally, yada yada. If you're on this sub, maybe it's an indication that a change is needed.
It's a journey for sure ... best wishes!
Yeah it’s fucking hard. I blacked out this holiday. Now we’re doing something for new years and I’ll be the sober one since I don’t want to feel like this again.
I have some thoughts.
You could not drink at all You could share with him that sometimes you overdo it, you’re worried about it, would he mind doing some sober evenings with you too
Do not try and match him drink for drink!
Make a rule, only X drinks a night, no drinks of (wine, spirits, whatever gets you most wasted)
I would cancel. This is not going to go well if you drink more than 1, 2 drinks/night. I would rather you ruin it by canceling than having your vulnerability being exposed & thrown back at you. You will probably be shamed. You don't need any of that added to what you're already dealing with. Normal drinkers don't understand us at all.