Man gets his thing stuck in a bottle

287 points duckinradar

The cylinder must remain undamaged

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60 points Neither_Rich_9646

Roughly the size of an M&Ms mini case if that helps anyone with our problem.

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8 points 1stofMae

Don't be so negative, that is more than plenty in the right circumstances.

Depending on the how many grams that the M&M' mini tube might be.....

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24 points __MOON_KNIGHT___

It’s a cylinder.

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26 points JimmyThunderPenis

u/smart_calendar1874 this you?

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6 points lifelink

!remind me 24h

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6 points aragonaut

That poor man cannot escape his past

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1 points Extension_Swordfish1

It is imperative. Also the larger structure not be harmed.

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86 points not_this_time_satan

So, like, how often does this guy walk in with a camera while the other guy is jerking off?

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28 points connorwolf17

Rod in cylinder

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30 points Wumbologist_PhD

It is imperative that the cylinder and the larger object remain unharmed…

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52 points boris_casuarina

I mean vacuum is a nasty thing. He should pop the bottle to get free, but his junk will stay clogged for a while. The only way out is using a rusty saw.

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30 points Seldarin

At that point, it may not even be vacuum that's the problem.

You can sorta stuff it through soft, then once it hardens it won't fit back through the same hole.

Source: Ex volunteer firefighter. I have seen horrors.

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23 points Conflictingview

The key detail you're not explaining is that once it hardens, the blood gets trapped on the "wrong" side of the hole and it won't soften again.

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8 points riverphoenixdays

Cursed cock ring.

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12 points Iwannapeeonyou

Why a rusty saw?

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14 points rikaxreaper

It would be too easy if it wasn’t

Also happy cake day!

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6 points Everyone_is_808

Saw the end off. Hot sauce on the dick. No more hard dick. Hot sauce in and around the butthole might work. I'm not volunteering.

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3 points Iwannapeeonyou

Thank you friend!

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25 points swagglemonster

Bro just keep peeing!! The urine psi should pop that out like a cork 60% of the time.

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9 points bluewhite63

And the other 40%?

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15 points halflifer2k

You ever seen those cartoons where Bugs sticks his finger in the barrel of the shotgun and it fires and splinters the barrel?

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6 points cornedbeef101

60% of the time it works every time.

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29 points Alfiy_wolf

When I was a wee lad I did the same with a shampoo bottle- the amount of fear I had was equivalent to being stuck on D day with a nerf gun

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26 points vperretta

Has he tried losing the erection lol

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54 points zkyevolved

Sadly he's turned on by fear.

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6 points MK544

Lol

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6 points sandyposs

The blood is now trapped on that side of the bottle and can't flow back.

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5 points cilvher-coyote

Hahaha! This is the equivalent of "have you tried turning it off and Not turning it back on again?"

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3 points cardsfan_365

Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!

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10 points rarlei

"it's imperative that the cylinder remains unharmed"

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8 points bluewhite63

Soap and extreme cold

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1 points weird_is_fun

Like inside a freezer?

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1 points deadleg22

TENSE THE THIGHS!...I've been shouting it but I don't think he can hear me. Can others shout it please, to help a brother out.

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8 points Xinonix1

Perfect video for Weird Al’ “Weenie in a bottle song” !

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6 points roboscott3000

And that is how he got the nickname Bottle Rocket.

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8 points unsupported

And his best friend is standing there with a potato to record it.

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7 points komokazi

pop the bottle? i mean wtf

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14 points octopornopus

Nope, gonna either have to cut the rim off the bottle or release the blood pressure causing him to be stuck in there...

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19 points mickturner96

I've seen a trick where you can get a boiled egg out of a bottle by heating it up.........

I'll get the blowtorch.

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5 points badgerj

See that SHAMPOO BOTTLE???? 👉

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5 points 1stofMae

Okay, but real talk... how might one release the Cocken from something like this?

Asking for SWIM 🤫

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4 points Puzzled-Weakness4239

Mine could never get stuck anywhere 🤷

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4 points ThatShouldNotBeHere

Fucking show off, bottle wouldn’t even seal around mine.

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6 points archameidus

Quick get some fireworks, and strap them to the bottle.

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3 points the_stooge_nugget

Deflat the rod!

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3 points Beginning-Complex693

If it's glass, a careful break should do the trick or even a hole in the far end to remove the suction.

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3 points Every_Tap8117

Mr wang way

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3 points ReddBroccoli

I can't decide if it's better or worse that it's plastic

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3 points Popal24

r/watchpeopledieinsideabottle

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5 points doltfinger

I hope that someone gets my..,,.

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3 points AccumulatedFilth

Message in a boooottle

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2 points Candid-Solid-896

I hope that someone gets my…

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5 points rancidmorty

Had this happon to me with a gatorade bottle plastic is glexibe can be squished and pused to change preasure

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2 points Voloxe

I feel like relaxing and letting your “thing” go back to its small-state is probably the best option here.. I feel like rolling around and panicking will actually make it not shrink.

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2 points blackmilksociety

Cut the bottom off the bottle and fill with ice water

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2 points waligaroux

Maybe he put his balls in it too?

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3 points EnvironmentEuphoric9

Is that mom talking shit to him?

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3 points trvst_issves

Uy Pilipins!! 🇵🇭👈👀

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2 points steev506

That guy is now either dead or dickless.

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2 points Kuroten_OG

Men, forever.

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2 points Saymoran

DONT HELP JUST FILM

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2 points diferentigual

Why are you fucking a bottle?

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2 points Rent-Hungry

For fuck sake, just buy a fleshlight.

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