My father (72, FTD) is in a care home, wheelchair bound for what I believe is a year+, and for the last year has been pretty much nonverbal, except for what is maybe a Yes, or an occasional scream when being “fussed over”. This afternoon my mom got a call saying he had a high fever and he’s been sleeping all day. They are afraid to orally administer meds because he may choke. She sat with him for the last 5 hours and on her way home she was asked about end of life proceedings (not medical, stuff about priest presence and if she’d like to see his body etc).
Can we assume this is it? What did everyone else’s loved ones final moments look like? I am horrified to allow myself to cry or feel any emotion out of fear that he will recover and have to do it all over again. I just want it to end, for his and my mom’s sake. So he can be at peace, and she can begin healing.
Merry Christmas everyone, I’m sorry for anyone who is also having a tough holiday. ❤️🩹
In my experience, it ain't over 'til it's over. I've seen people rally from crazy dire situations. Is he on hospice? Does he show other signs of transitioning like mottled skin or cool extremities? How is his breathing and pulse? The care home needs to share clear details with your mom so you're not having to make assumptions. Sorry.
I don’t think she’s asking. I will see how the night goes and try and pry more tomorrow. Difficult being far away :(
Merry Christmas. I hope for your Dad and for your sanity that this is the last leg of the journey. There is only so much one can endure and your Dad has suffered enough. The answer of timing is out of our hands and in the hands of where we come from and where we go after death. I wish a smooth and peaceful transition for your Dad x
Thank you for this very kind message
Feel for you. But does he have a DNR?
Yea he’s on an M1 level of care, just comfort meds
Generally if they are doing comfort care and he’s not able to swallow it’s most likely the end is very near but you never really know until it happens.
I am hoping and wishing for peace for your father and your family.