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I would focus on trust rather than cheating and also stay focused on what you are comfortable with rather than what's generally acceptable.
Here's why...
Let's say someone you are seeing is in regular, secret contact with an ex over text. They aren't saying anything sexual but they also claim not to be in contact with any exes. Is this cheating? No. Is it a betrayal and broken trust? Yes.
Let's say someone is looking at Instagram models. Is it cheating? No. Is it a problem for me? No. Is it a problem for other people? Yes. We are all different.
It's up to you and your partner to talk about and define relationship boundaries. It's something you need to be on the same page about. If they break their own stated boundaries, that's broken trust and a big issue, regardless of if it's technically cheating.
The key here is that you're in alignment in actions, words and each other. You won't ever be happy if you need to police someone to get good behavior from them.
And even if they don't cheat, they'll find new ways to break your trust, disrespect you and generally bring out the worst most insecure version of you. You deserve a partner who brings out the secure and confident you.
In terms of once a cheater, always a cheater. I would say maybe.
What was the reason for cheating instead of breaking up? Did they want to have a relationship and the enjoyment of someone on the side? Or did they genuinely feel trapped in a horrible/traumatic relationship that left their self-confidence at zero and it was how they got the courage to break up? Neither is ok, but I would be more accepting of the second example.
I am loving proof that once a cheater always a cheater is bullshit that people tell themselves. I cheated on my girlfriend we barely started dating it was like 2 months into the relationship I was texting another person nothing physical but she called me out I apologized we had a rough 1st year after I cheated but we have now been together for 6 years and she has a child on the way and I've been 100% loyal faithful and honest cheaters aren't always cheaters sometimes in cases like mine it was a mistake you make and never make again
I don't behind that because a) everybody deserves a second chance and b) sometimes situations need to be taken into content.
I'm almost 60 and back in the dating scene. Ugh. I never had red lines when dating because everybody makes mistakes and everybody has baggage. Each person and situation needs to be looked at differently. It's people that draw red lines that make me question them.
Yes. It’s not worth it to me to stress about it. If I was with someone who previously cheated I’d constantly have it in the back of my mind that he’d do it again. So I just won’t date anyone who’s cheated in the past.
I believe it enough to not put myself in a situation to be hurt by someone who has physically cheated in a past relationship. Maybe it closes me off to a potentially great relationship, but it's not something I am willing to deal with in a relationship. Having said that, that's just my opinion.
i stopped thinking in labels and started watching patterns
cheating isnt a single act, its how someone handles temptation, stress, and guilt over time
some ppl cheat once, face it, change routines, add guardrails
most just hide better
what matters is not the past, its the system they run now
clear boundaries, boring habits, zero secrecy
if someone cant name what they changed, assume nothing changed
Yes, if your morals are that weak they will break again.
My ex cheated on me twice, me M and her F.
First time was with one of my female friends after we has an argument (i forgave)and second time was with a mutual Male friend.
I have since learnt she has done the same to numerous partners.
I despise cheating (even micro cheating) but just depends on your personal character i guess.
Absolutely. Maybe once in a million years will there not be a cheater after doing it once but having been cheated on and forgiving you shouldn’t be giving cheaters another opportunity. I find they don’t really stop cheating, but rather find sneakier ways to do so and get better at concealing their behavior. Cheaters aren’t meant or should be given 2nd or however many chances.
Imo, in most cases, the cheater would have left the relationship sooner or later. In 90% of cases, there is something fundamentally wrong inthe relationship if someone cheats.
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I would focus on trust rather than cheating and also stay focused on what you are comfortable with rather than what's generally acceptable.
Here's why...
Let's say someone you are seeing is in regular, secret contact with an ex over text. They aren't saying anything sexual but they also claim not to be in contact with any exes. Is this cheating? No. Is it a betrayal and broken trust? Yes.
Let's say someone is looking at Instagram models. Is it cheating? No. Is it a problem for me? No. Is it a problem for other people? Yes. We are all different.
It's up to you and your partner to talk about and define relationship boundaries. It's something you need to be on the same page about. If they break their own stated boundaries, that's broken trust and a big issue, regardless of if it's technically cheating.
The key here is that you're in alignment in actions, words and each other. You won't ever be happy if you need to police someone to get good behavior from them.
And even if they don't cheat, they'll find new ways to break your trust, disrespect you and generally bring out the worst most insecure version of you. You deserve a partner who brings out the secure and confident you.
In terms of once a cheater, always a cheater. I would say maybe.
What was the reason for cheating instead of breaking up? Did they want to have a relationship and the enjoyment of someone on the side? Or did they genuinely feel trapped in a horrible/traumatic relationship that left their self-confidence at zero and it was how they got the courage to break up? Neither is ok, but I would be more accepting of the second example.
I am loving proof that once a cheater always a cheater is bullshit that people tell themselves. I cheated on my girlfriend we barely started dating it was like 2 months into the relationship I was texting another person nothing physical but she called me out I apologized we had a rough 1st year after I cheated but we have now been together for 6 years and she has a child on the way and I've been 100% loyal faithful and honest cheaters aren't always cheaters sometimes in cases like mine it was a mistake you make and never make again
I don't behind that because a) everybody deserves a second chance and b) sometimes situations need to be taken into content.
I'm almost 60 and back in the dating scene. Ugh. I never had red lines when dating because everybody makes mistakes and everybody has baggage. Each person and situation needs to be looked at differently. It's people that draw red lines that make me question them.
Yes. It’s not worth it to me to stress about it. If I was with someone who previously cheated I’d constantly have it in the back of my mind that he’d do it again. So I just won’t date anyone who’s cheated in the past.
I believe it enough to not put myself in a situation to be hurt by someone who has physically cheated in a past relationship. Maybe it closes me off to a potentially great relationship, but it's not something I am willing to deal with in a relationship. Having said that, that's just my opinion.
i stopped thinking in labels and started watching patterns
cheating isnt a single act, its how someone handles temptation, stress, and guilt over time
some ppl cheat once, face it, change routines, add guardrails
most just hide better
what matters is not the past, its the system they run now
clear boundaries, boring habits, zero secrecy
if someone cant name what they changed, assume nothing changed
trust patterns, not promises
Yes, if your morals are that weak they will break again. My ex cheated on me twice, me M and her F. First time was with one of my female friends after we has an argument (i forgave)and second time was with a mutual Male friend. I have since learnt she has done the same to numerous partners. I despise cheating (even micro cheating) but just depends on your personal character i guess.
Absolutely. Maybe once in a million years will there not be a cheater after doing it once but having been cheated on and forgiving you shouldn’t be giving cheaters another opportunity. I find they don’t really stop cheating, but rather find sneakier ways to do so and get better at concealing their behavior. Cheaters aren’t meant or should be given 2nd or however many chances.
Imo, in most cases, the cheater would have left the relationship sooner or later. In 90% of cases, there is something fundamentally wrong inthe relationship if someone cheats.