My bf '34M' & I '35F' have been together for 6 months. I love him very much but he has betrayed my trust multiple times by not cutting of communication with his ex '57F' (whom he was with for 10 years) & now I can't trust him. He promised he would go no contact with her in August. I found out that they were talking again a week before Christmas because I went through his phone. When I confronted him about it, we almost broke up & he promised me that it would never happen again so I decided to forgive him & move on. I went through his phone again on Christmas day and saw that they were talking just 4 days after the confrontation & he wished her a Merry Christmas with a heart emoji and I was livid. The messages weren't sexual in nature but it's the principle. I decided to stay & try not to bring it up but it really hurts so deeply. As much as I would like for our relationship to continue, I feel like I'll never trust him & I'm constantly paranoid about them talking again. It's not easy to let go but I feel like it might be best for my mental health. I'd rather be with someone who would consider my feelings & not treat me as an after thought. If I truly mattered to him I don't think he would keep hurting me in this way. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this and stayed? Did your relationship get better or worse? Advice?
Welcome to /r/datingadvice!
Please keep the rules of /r/datingadvice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind.
Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, send us a message. We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly.
Thanks!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Yes trust is one issue.
But I would also be very concerned that you have no real way to resolve conflict with him. If he agrees to do one thing and does another it shows that he will say what it takes to get you off his back and go back on his word.
Connecting with a woman on any level behind your back AND not honestly approaching and resolving conflict both aren't compatible with a long term healthy relationship.
He is someone who purposely conceals his intentions.
It doesn't feel this way right now, but you are very lucky to find this out 6 months in and not 6 years in.
If you talk about this with him, he will just tell you what you want to hear.