Hug your kiddo(s) extra tight for me. My wife and I went in for an ultrasound after they found a genetic flag for Turner Syndrome. We expected we might end up having to make some hard decisions. What we and the doctors did not expect this morning was to not see a heartbeat where there once was just weeks ago. Apparently this sort of thing leads to miscarriages most often earlier than when we last got to see a strong, regular heartbeat. She must have fought hard, just as her mom would…Life can be so raw sometimes. Don’t waste it.
I’ve been lurking here for about a year now. I’ve been forward to becoming a dad. Taking in the words and wisdom y’all have to share one another has become one of my favorite pastimes. I may not be a dad yet—this was our first pregnancy in fact. But I wanted to share this experience with this community in case someone else can take solace in it. You are not alone—we are together. Much love to this subreddit.
This post has been flaired "Support". Moderation is stricter here and unsupportive and unpleasant comments will be removed and result in a ban.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I’m so sorry to hear this. Nothing any of us can say will really help, just know we are here for you. Make sure you both take the time you need for yourselves, I know that can often be hard for people as these events are often so ‘quiet’.
I did not realize how high miscarriage statistics were until my wife got pregnant. It is truly sobering.
Again, make sure you both take time to process and grieve, and Please don’t try and put any blame on yourselves. You aren’t alone, lean on others if you need support.
This is a great little community here, yell if you need us.
The society does not readily talk about it. But if you open up yourself, suddenly near everyone has a story. Something like 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Roll that dice with multiple children, the chances add up to "very likely" experience over your lifetime. More likely with first child, and more likely with genetic issues.
You did nothing wrong, and you could not have done anything differently. Dice fell as they did.
I’m so sorry, and this is hard. This exact thing happened to us. we went in for another normal checkup, and then sat increasingly urgent as the tech tried and tried to find the heartbeat. It is so hard, and it does get easier.
After two losses, my wife’s acupuncturist of all people suggested she might have a particular mineral deficiency that was making it harder for embryos to develop. She was right, and that insight allowed us to have a little boy a few months later. He’s now 5. You never forget the well of sadness from those losses, but there can be great joys that follow, too.
It's not talked about enough, but miscarriages are EXTREMELY common, unfortunately. I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope that you and your partner are eventually able to have children!
Been there brother, twice unfortunately...it's never easy. Take time, grieve and process it, unfortunately miscarriages happen all the time. It's brutal, but be present for your partner, talk about it, hold her, and just know it's no one's fault. I say this as I hold my 5 month old nugget as she's napping in my lap. You two will get where you want to be
I am so sorry for your loss. This is absolutely horrible. Please be kind to yourself as you grieve.