I'm a long time crippling alcoholic and gambling addict. Was on a bit of a break from both and then I went on a bender at the casino a few days ago. Within hours I lost all the money I had. Borrowed from a couple friends, lost that. Borrowed some more money and managed to run it up to the point I could at least pay everything I just borrowed back.
But wait I still don't have money for past due bills that I need to pay like right now....so I decided hey maybe I can take this thousand bucks and at least win a couple more hundo, sleep it off and pretend this never happened. Yeah well you know how that went. Lost it all, got extremely fucked up on whiskey and IPAs, distraught and depressed I decided I could borrow a few hundred from my boss, spin it up, pay it back and hope they never noticed (I have some limited digital access to their money). Spiral of bad decisions, desperation and booze next think I know I've transferred myself a couple thousand bucks. I figured I was going to win big or go disappear.
This will come as a shock...I didn't win big. Now that I'm sober, fleeing the country and trying to start over in Mexico with zero dollars to my name doesn't sound so appealing. But I also don't have the balls to go in and tell on myself. I didn't go to work the last couple days. Anxiety is killing me.
I don't have any other real income, I'm in debt up to my ears and I don't have any way to borrow money from anyone and no financial institution is dumb enough to loan me money (I wouldn't either). I have no idea how my boss is going to react, he might shoot me or he might offer to help me get help.
So fellow CAs, what would you do?
P.s. any time you feel bad about the decisions you've made while boozing...you can look at this post and think "at least I'm not as dumb as that asshole"
I mean you're fired anyway, might as well start begging your boss to hopefully help you figure out a payment schedule instead of pressing charges
Yeah, I mean, this entire thing is fucked up, but none of it is criminal... except for that whole boss/work thing. I'd probably figure out exactly how long I'd need to "work" to pay that back, down to the cent, then tender your resignation for exactly that date and time, refusing further payment so the boss's books "balance". Then at least instead of embezzlement or theft or deceptive practices, it's a dispute about a loan or inappropriate forward payment, etc.
Edit: also, OP said "no financial institution is dumb enough to loan me money", might be time to find out exactly how dumb some financial institutions are, while you still technically have a job on paper.
Well... embezzling is criminal
Are you retarded?
you are retarded
There's no way they are going to let this person work there at all, for any amount of time. I'd just hope to avoid charges.
Most of it is criminal
Getting fucked up on booze is legal. Going to a casino is legal. Borrowing money from friends is legal. Wasting your own money is legal. Tripping out about the implications of it all is legal.
There's a single not-entirely-legal thing here, not sure what you're going on about.
All that is legal but the misuse of company funds/embezzlement is where he trips up.
Twas a joke
Oh. Can you explain this joke?
perhaps they are using the colloquial, casual use of criminal, like “that yogurt tastes criminal”
ah
hard to read that just through text!
I would rather owe money to my ex-boss than whoever I might find to borrow it from when it happens again in Mexico.
Waking up hungover in a Mexican jail and realizing what you did to get there through that foggy haze has to be a special kind of hell.
👍 Waking up in a Mexican jail with hardly any recollection of what happened isn't nearly as fun as they make it look like in movies.
Wow man you really dont fuck around with the self-sabotage. I mean, Jeeezus. Holy fucking shit.
Was the helpful? Because thats all I've got. My head is spinning on your behalf. Okay on some real shit, yes, go talk to your boss and just be honest. Throw yourself on the mercy of the court. If they're in any way a wise or experienced leader, honesty will score some points. They know that shit's not easy. And as you said, you dont really have another realistic option. You might/probably will/most definitely will get fired, but you'll walk out clean. You looked dude in the eye and owned up to what you did and that ain't nothing. I'm serious here. The difference between a huge mistake and a huge failure will be how you handle this shit from here, so give yourself something you can respect. And remember this ain't the end. This is just right now. Good luck
Lol. I mean you're right, and it's not funny, but lol at that part.
Everything you said is spot on. I don't know what the fuck is going to happen from here but I'm going to beg for him to keep me around at least long enough to work off what I owe him and transfer over all my existing projects to someone new. I've known the guy for 15+ years and he has some knowledge of my struggles with addiction and compulsive behavior so maybe he'll take pity on me.
maybe also… treatment through work based insurance? gambling addiction is a massive bitch, my dad has it. best wishes to you man, you gotta get sick of your own shit and making your life worse for yourself… everyone’s bottom is different.
At least if you own up to it, you'll have that small shred of dignity to hang on to. You're not 100% derelict. Yet.
I've been there. It's grasping at straws but if you've known him that long, there's a big chance you'll get help. I vote for own up. It's never as bad as you think it will be. Unless you killed someone. 😉
Well that part I don't think I can agree with lol
I just fessed up to one boss. Waiting for the owner to get to the office. Will report back if I'm not in a jail cell in a couple hours
🤣🤣🤣🤣 Trust me, I've known people who've been in prison in 4 different countries and one good friend who was in witpro (he died a couple of years ago but he was 75, cancer, so unrelated).
Felony international trafficking cocaine is a little worse.
You're in trouble for sure but you can still work it out. Keep us updated 😊 I'm rooting for you
Come clean to your boss. It's the only way out.
Uncut Gems IRL
Get help buddy, it sucks now but it can get A LOT worse..
It is hard to imagine how it gets a lot worse from here
You do NOT want to be part of the criminal justice system.
And you certainly don't want a FELONY CONVICTION. It's makes life a million times more difficult.
Last time I looked at my paperwork... I had at least 9 state felony convictions and one federal felony conviction.
It's been a LONG time since I was that careless asshole, but businesses, banks, mortgage companies, employers, universities don't want to deal with you as a convicted felon.
And the last thing I want to mention is... You do NOT want a theft, grand theft, embezzlement charge or anything that has to do with STEALING.
All my charges were drug related charges. I'd STILL be in better shape than you with 10 felony convictions for drugs... As opposed to one felony conviction for any type of theft.
Be careful, my friend. Clean this up. Quickly.
Take care of yourself.
Thanks.
I'm tempted to go get trashed and try to put it off but I'm going to resist, going to do my best to clean it up this morning.
I'll report back later.
prison mike would know!!
yeah dude, it can definitely get a LOT worse.
Lol!
You better believe that. Time goes VERY SLOW behind bars.
Prison Mike knows all the deets!
If you are charged with Felony Grand Theft and arrested, things will get much, much, much worse.
Fair
I won’t do a bunch of AA babble at you, but one thing they often say that is true is that over time we always get worse, never better. Or in plain words, the bar is just gonna keep getting lower and lower until you decide it’s not worth it anymore.
A more positive spin on that is that pain sucks but it’s also a good motivator. Most of us are pretty fucking hard headed though so we can take a lot of pain before we finally say “ok I’m gonna stop”
And again, without doing any recovery-speak I can only say that eventually for me the pain that I knew would come from stopping eventually seemed less scary than the pain of continuing.
Thank you for the kind and level-headed words.
I'm finally starting to feel that way myself. The spiraling hole of bullshit I've dug has gotten so out of control I feel I'm ready to change.
I actually admire you sharing this and looking for suggestions, because I would be still drunk FLIPPING tf out
Thanks. Trust me I don't want to face my demons more than any other drunk fuck does
Well fucking props man. Idk if I could
Hmmm you must be pretty close to some really good luck by now. Is there any chance you can get some money together for one more trip to the casino?
I’m just kidding. How much money do you think you owe total right now?
To friends and family $20k.
Banks/credit cards, 100k+
Yikes I’m afraid there’s no quick way out of that. I’m pretty sure you already know you need to start coming clean. Lots of people have friends and relatives dealing with addiction if you’re lucky your boss might be sympathetic.
Bankruptcy time
That's the plan. Been told I probably need to keep my shit together for at least 6 months before I expect a bankruptcy judge to take pity on me
"limited digital access to their money" lol Jesus Christ.
you still have access to the account? In for a penny in for a pound...a pound being some cash to get settled in mexico.
Finally some good f'n advice around here!
sarcasm
Your best option here is to go straight to your boss, tell him what you did (without the details), and that you intend to pay every penny back and ask him to forgive you, but like HONESTLY. You've lost the trust but maybe you'll keep a semblance of respect from them....
Thank you.
So you think less details is better?
I wouldn't exactly tell him that you were "borrowing" from everyone... just that you had a really unfortunate night with alcohol - but dont make it seem like you dont remember anything, just be honest that you FUCKED UP and want to make it right- BEFORE they approach YOU about it... thats your first order of business...you need a job to pay back this mess
Yeah leave out the details of the gambling frenzy. All he needs to know is that you know what you did with company money was insane and you want to make retribution. AND if the company has a rehab program, you want to go.
Less detail is usually better in most cases. Only reveal what needs to be in order to take care of business.
Own up and stop gambling. There's a reason for the saying "the house always wins".
All i can say is: Good luck. You'll need it.
They say, rock bottom is where you stop digging. You took the shovel. But then you got the excavator. Still, it wasn't enough, so you took dynamite. Finally, you detonated a nuke to make the hole even bigger. You earned your place in the hall of fame of rock bottoms.
Fucking LOL. Thank you I needed a laugh.
I guess I hoped the nuke would get rid of the evidence and no one would see through the fallout.
If I manage to get my shit together and can eventually look back on this without it making me sick, I'm going to frame your comment and hang it in my office.
Thanks, glad it made you laugh.
For me, my worst rock bottom came when three detectives knocked at my door at 5am in the morning. They had an arrest- and search-warrant. Was arrested because of drug trafficking. But this was not the really bad thing, as weird as it sounds.
The real fun started in jail, in this time in my country, there was no proper medical care for prisoners. It's different today, but well, because i got cold turkey as a polytox from alcohol, valium and heroin, i got shredded and entered the delirium tremens state in withdrawal. They still took action at some point and transferred me to the hospital, otherwise, i'd have died.
But that was just because getting a guy to the hospital was probably easier to explain than having a dead body in a prison cell. That makes more paperwork for the cops.
I have heard addicts in recovery (that got twisted up too deep in shit) say finally getting arrested was kind of a relief because they knew all the chaos and worry was over....but in your case it sounds like it was hell.
Was the alleged drug trafficking allegedly profitable? Or just something you got tied up in to feed your habits?
About withdrawal, as long as you get help, it's not that bad, but... with benzos and alcohol, it can be deadly. The heroin as opioid just makes it all worse, but doesn't kill you.
It wasn't a bad time with the drugs, but that's very long ago, glad it's over and i don't have anything to do with it anymore. I'd not recommend it to make money. I mean, for your finances, you can't just sell some weed, you'd need to sell heroin in large quantities and then, you pop up on the radar of law enforcement quickly.
I'm in Europe, it's all different here anyway, both with drugs and prison. Same for alcoholism and help, like with universal healthcare that can get you free detox and rehab.
Heroin withdrawal might not kill you, but you’re going to wish it would.
That's right. I'm not sure how others feel about it, but the feeling i get in withdrawal of strong opioids is like dying. Best way to describe it.
My God!!
Print this out, take it in and 'fess up. You might get help. Or your boss might have security escort you out. Nothing you can undo now. Depends on your history, age, job policy, etc. It will stop the anxiety. At least you'll know.
Or you could try to run away to Mexico. If the company files charges (it doesn't sound like much money in embezzlement terms so it seems like it would be easier to just fire you than get lawyers involved) you might have difficulty getting back in the country.
Seems like a good place to start over but what do I know.
I just fessed up to one boss who's second in command and she was beyond forgiving and understanding but warned me the owner is going to be pissed but she's pretty certain he's not going to call the cops or anything. Possibly not even fire me.
They definitely wouldn't get lawyers involved, that would cost more money than they could possibly hope to get out of me.
That's what I figured. Go in. You honestly have a good chance of working this out. You sound like a good person with some big problems who made poor choices.
Wowee. What a ride.
First things first, how much did you steal? Ask chatgpt if it is a felony in your state or not. I'm Aussie and am fairly sure stealing money under 5k is seen as far less a deal, so not sure about the states.
If it's a few thousand and even if your employer presses charges, the penalty isnt earth shattering I'd take your chances with disappearing. You are a betting man after all.
Having worked as a debt collector, we would only take to court debts that were over $10k because underneath that with court fees it was never worth it. They win, you prove you can't feasibly pay it back so they put you on a payment plan of $10 a week for the next 72 years lol.
Your employer may be aware of the costs he will incur from a court perspective and not bother. They'll find a way to write it off as a business expense and tighten up their policies and procedures around access to old mates bank account.
If you are already at a proverbial rock bottom and have nothing tying you to the town you are in, id Chuck a geographical. Get a new number, delete social media, pick a town that's in a different state and just go. Start over even if that start happens from a homeless shelter. Make up new references and get a new job in the new town.
Morally of course, this is not the way. If you're facing a felony, I'd come clean asap and explain the crippling debt you are in as the reason why you did it. Resign and promise to make a payment arrangement weekly. Put it in writing with him and claim bankruptcy, start rebuilding from there. Honestly, if he wants to press it after that, he will look like a cunt to a judge given you have tried to come up with a solution. Judges don't appreciate their precious time being wasted.
Best of luck, we're all counting on you
Crippling alcoholic with a gambling problem: a tale as old as time. Get help brotha
Working on it. Got to get through this helluva day first 😬
They say comparison is the thief of joy so I wish I could say, at least I’m not as bad as you, but then I might not hate myself so much & there’s no fun in that
[removed]
We require a minimum account-age and karma. These minimums are not disclosed. Please try again after you have acquired more karma. No exceptions can be made.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Bossman Jack?
Not enough drugs in the story, plus a job?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNLDWSuzkQY
But look how innocent our boy was. I watched him win and lose $90k in like 90 minutes right before he disappeared again recently.
jesus
I settled in Mexico. Didn’t help my alcoholism, but neither did the rat race at home. Only tip- it’s very very hard to get a work permit here, but if you speak great Spanish, you can probably get some good under-the-table type jobs. Teaching english might be an option, but there’s a lot of competition.
Flee. Consequences are best avoided
I'm a CA to the core and while I can appreciate lying to myself (just a few drinks, et al), I really don't understand a gambling addiction! Am I alone here?
Get as much money as you can and bet the Bills ML this weekend and pay back all of your debts. Thank me later. Chairs.
Go bills
You are an idiot.
[deleted]
[deleted]
But that’s just a dream. And you are still a dumb fuck