I have wasted 10s of thousands of dollars on one specific performer on a sex video cam because she reminds me of my neighbour who I secretly fancy and my first serious girlfriend who i felt completely controlled by. They are all eastern European so there is a similarity in style and the way they use english. It started as a little bit of fun but has now become a huge embarassment because I am unwilling to admit to friends and family. It is very foolish and now that it has material financial impact, it has made me very angry. The tease is he rarely ever undresses for me so I have turned int into a juvenile game of show me show yours, how sad am I
If you’re at the point of tens of thousands of dollars it’s probably better to just go to a country where prostitution is legal, find someone who looks like the person you want, and get at it
I don't think you understand the nature of obsession. And why would that solve anything?
Well.... not much sad, particularly if you have realised it and brought it down in writing here..... There is hope.