I was going to link a satirical video of a shopping network host making guac with what is definitely a dildo, but googleing "guacamole dildo" did not get the results I was expecting...
Oh, I’m going to have to go to the store for some onions and peppers. And can I borrow a bowl? Hopefully this can help relieve whatever’s making you feel bad.
At what point does this become a form? Makes the oblivious male read and comprehend the message and then sign off on it.
Now it reminds me of the bureaucrat episode in Futurama when she had forms filled out to sleep with fry. I mean if he gets it the anyone should right? The dude doesn’t have delta waves!
I mean... you can be stark naked, clawing at my belt, and screaming "FUCK ME RIGHT NOW" at the top of your lungs right in my face and ill still be like "is she talking to me? I dont see anyone else here, so maybe?"
I'd give a compassionate hug, then commit a thorough scientific-level research on where and how to find sexual partners as a woman, then give a helpful and detailed advice on the matter. This is what friends are for!
We wouldn’t mind so much if every DM wasn’t so incredibly basic. It’s especially hilarious when you see the ones who think they’re being unique and witty when it’s the exact same as 3 we received the day before.
Oof, reminds of DBZ abridged lol, where the Namekian warriors stand there as Frieza counts off the amount of times he’s heard their cliché one-liners and finally they go.
“And as I sat there craving to have every hole filled and stretched out it suddenly hit me, what I really needed was to fill the holes in my team with top performers and making sure the only thing being stretched out was our perseverance and creativity. I went from craving back shots to calling the shots, and now with my team all aligned behind a singular goal we can easily penetrate any space and fill it up with our own creampies of success.
This is how I managed to leverage my horny thoughts into actionable results.”
Okay but I think whats really cool is that the second panel actually kinda has that hectic vent art feel. Libido emotions are still..emotions and it's cool to talk about them in this sorta way
Yet my mom seems to strongly believe women don't get horny. "Thats a men thing." I choose to believe that isn't true. Man considering how clueless my parents were, no wonder im getting nowhere in love.
The real question I have is whether women only get horny during ovulation. All the posts I've seen here about women being horny are only when they ovulate
wouldnt that make no sense considering women post-menopause can still get extremely horny? not a jab, just, of course anyone can get horny anytime for any reason it just depends on the person. granted the posts abt ovulation making women rabid is because hormones can make it blatantly distracting for some people and its funny to discuss, but its definitely not a rigid window. for me it happens more strongly DURING a period than not. is what it is ig
For real though, what happened to this place? This used to be a regular webcomic subreddit and then turned quickly over the past year or two. Why am I even subscribed here still?
This leads to a follow-up question that r/askreddit and r/tooafraidtoask banned: must women/ do women automatically have to believe that all men are dangerous until proven otherwise?
Not "have". Comes from experience. After having tasted two or three spoiled milk glasses you will start sniffing every single one, even if you don't encounter another spoiled one for years.
And with men, a possible outcome is far, far worse than a bad taste in the mouth. Better safe than sorry.
(And you are possibly underestimating the percentage of women who had a violent experience with men. Google it.)
Oh boy, that takes me back. I once met such a woman with needs. We have been partners for two years then, the distance between our cities...
She literally grabbed me coming from the battlefield on a reenactment event.
"Hey. You. You have been nice and cool yesterday in the Tavern. Nice fighting. You are bleeding. I like that. Oh man. And your smell. Of Rust. Oil. Sweat and Testosterone. Love your hoarse voice (i screamed a lot).
You make me unbelievable horny now. Fuck me. And please help me get rid of my plate. "
I can testify. Adrenaline and getting beaten with a metal weapon into next Sunday makes you horny.
I'm glad to see someone else talk about it. I've meet people before who attempted frequently to have sex with people they didn't know in an attempt to get themselves hurt. I felt to awkward about it to help them.
I’m a hobbyist artist, also on my period, and the second panel is BRILLIANT! That is EXACTLY how I feel about my boyfriend. We have sonas of each other that I sometimes draw in “situations” when I’m not able to do anything about my own sex drive lmaooo
Reminds me of my ex. 99% of the time she was super "meh" about sex. But roughly once a month, we'd just be hanging out or something, and I'd peek over at whatever she's doing, and she'd literally just be watching porn in the living room. I mean I'm right there, and it's not like she even needed to ask or anything.
So fun fact. You can actually get fucked stupid for a little bit of time. I knew a girl in collage that would have protect sex with guy and take a IQ test before and within an hour after sex.
She explained that most of the time the more she orgasmed the more her IQ would go down. She said after 5 though it seems to hit the floor but having sex with a guy had more impact then her doing it herself.
Really need to find that girl again and see if she ever did more
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And then you give that drawing and we're like : "...Well again you can't really tell, maybe she's just beeing nice"
True, she should've written 'I need YOUR dick' to eliminate all other possibilities.
Just tell them that your vagina is a ripe avocado and that you need them to make guacamole out of it (do not ever say this to anyone)
Even that could be seen as just being friendly and making a joke, you know?
Yeah or she just wants to exchange recipes
"It says here that you add cumin to yours. How about adding some cum in to mine?"
Definitely should've ended it at the guac line. Good lord.
“I mean, I guess I can run to the grocery store, but I thought you said you had everything already?”
“And why are there no avocado’s here?”
Brilliant!
Some people just really like avocados
*gets salt and lime juice
To prevent browning.
My penis makes horrible guacamole
I was going to link a satirical video of a shopping network host making guac with what is definitely a dildo, but googleing "guacamole dildo" did not get the results I was expecting...
Any good ones?
I never get assigned to the table-side guac station anymore
Should probably get that avocadussy checked.
Is that a Harry Potter spell?
It is now
What if she truly meant to say “I need your friend Richard” but she just uses the short form?
Oh, I’m going to have to go to the store for some onions and peppers. And can I borrow a bowl? Hopefully this can help relieve whatever’s making you feel bad.
Ooooo I’m gonna try that on my husband
I prefer making it sound like I’m stirring a bowl of Kraft, macaroni and cheese.
Saying this to my husband in a few mins
Ah, an avocado smash!
But you said you didn’t even like guacamole?
Got it about to use this now so won’t read to the end.
All fun and games until he brings out the salt and lime lol.
Eh I dunno. Ive heard worse pillow talk. Would probably still work for me
It’d work on me
Yeah! And then I'll take the pit and stick three toothpicks in it and put it on a mason jar full of water, and we can watch it grow...
Wait!
...come back...
I gagged
Instructions unclear: Where do the tomatoes go?
Why would she need my Dick Tracy poster? Hmmm
My dication software? Sorry, but I need it to read since I'm pretty oblivious sometimes.
At what point does this become a form? Makes the oblivious male read and comprehend the message and then sign off on it.
Now it reminds me of the bureaucrat episode in Futurama when she had forms filled out to sleep with fry. I mean if he gets it the anyone should right? The dude doesn’t have delta waves!
Add a "now" at the end there, just for safe measure..us gents can be dense as pudding sometimes
"right now? but we're in public... she's probably just being nice-"
I don't know if you are aware but in Turkish your username means "Mercimeği fırına vermek" which is slang for having sex
I mean... you can be stark naked, clawing at my belt, and screaming "FUCK ME RIGHT NOW" at the top of your lungs right in my face and ill still be like "is she talking to me? I dont see anyone else here, so maybe?"
Message unclear. Who is Your? Why do you ask me about him?
I don't know this guy "your" but boy is he one lucky guy.
Ooookay, but its attached to my body, how are you gonna take it? Also NO, i need that to pee you cant have it
“Who’s ’Yore’? Lucky bastard”
Hmm who is this Your guy she's talking about?
Even that would be too subtle. Not in "hard to figure out," but, "maybe she's just teasing me, or likes drawing NSFW comics for money."
It has to be verbal communication.
Oh, I thought you said Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.
Me, a dumbass, be like: "But I need it to pee for like the rest of my life. Go ask someone else."
Maybe she's just Canadian
Casually explained referenced. Nice!
I'd give a compassionate hug, then commit a thorough scientific-level research on where and how to find sexual partners as a woman, then give a helpful and detailed advice on the matter. This is what friends are for!
It do be like that sometimes. In the immortal words of the late great Robin Williams:
"God gave man a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time."
Tbh, we use neither as much as we pretend.
Needed this one thanks
or this
Fine day Sunday. You know why that is Harry?
And now you’ve passed the horny on to the rest of us.
sharing is caring
Us guys thank you for your service
Cervix*
You give me too much credit
Best thread I’ve seen in a minute
Not me. I was already horny when I got here.
I hope your inbox is filled with support and that one guy you were thinking of
support is provided only by studs
My condolences to the DM’s of every woman here… 😔
We wouldn’t mind so much if every DM wasn’t so incredibly basic. It’s especially hilarious when you see the ones who think they’re being unique and witty when it’s the exact same as 3 we received the day before.
Oof, reminds of DBZ abridged lol, where the Namekian warriors stand there as Frieza counts off the amount of times he’s heard their cliché one-liners and finally they go.
“Oh yeah?! Well I’m gonna fuck your face!”
And Frieza just goes: “oh-ho… twelve”
"I'ma deck ya in the schnoz"
"....I'm sorry that's a new one. Who are you exactly?"
"I'm Goku! I'm insane! From Earth!"
He means Saiyan.....
Me trying to remember that one coworkers last name so I could potentially find them and reach out to them in my time if need.
looks at linkedin
“And as I sat there craving to have every hole filled and stretched out it suddenly hit me, what I really needed was to fill the holes in my team with top performers and making sure the only thing being stretched out was our perseverance and creativity. I went from craving back shots to calling the shots, and now with my team all aligned behind a singular goal we can easily penetrate any space and fill it up with our own creampies of success.
This is how I managed to leverage my horny thoughts into actionable results.”
r/LinkedInLunaticsGW
I wish that subreddit was real
Don't let your Memes be Dreams!
Your profile pic is my reaction
sadly, mood
Periods be like
same... my first title for this comic was ovulation related but I scratched it
Can confirm; wife chases me around the house like a horny teenager for just under a week, then ignores my existence for the rest of the month ;-)
Lucky! Mine just ignores my existence for the entire month
Have you tried cleaning or cooking?
Yes, no effect. Choreplay doesn't work. Goalpost keep moving.
Damn bro that’s rough
r/boomerhumor is leaking.
I get 3 weeks where she won’t leave me alone and it’s all “breed me” and then one week of “don’t fucking touch me there”
Is ur wife a cat
Yeah theres that one week
Okay but I think whats really cool is that the second panel actually kinda has that hectic vent art feel. Libido emotions are still..emotions and it's cool to talk about them in this sorta way
Aww, thank you! I wanted it to feel overwhelming/chaotic. and i agree we dont talk about sex nearly enough
yeah I never see sex comics in this subreddit
Yet my mom seems to strongly believe women don't get horny. "Thats a men thing." I choose to believe that isn't true. Man considering how clueless my parents were, no wonder im getting nowhere in love.
The real question I have is whether women only get horny during ovulation. All the posts I've seen here about women being horny are only when they ovulate
I can answer that one: no.
I also though that was a myth.
Women can get horny at any time, ovulation or not
Source: am woman
...
Do not DM me, I have a boyfriend already that makes me very horny
Could he make me horny too, please ?
Sorry, the horny is only reserved for me, but I hope you find someone that makes you horny
That would be joyous indeed, thanks for your compassion. Enjoy your horniness !
wouldnt that make no sense considering women post-menopause can still get extremely horny? not a jab, just, of course anyone can get horny anytime for any reason it just depends on the person. granted the posts abt ovulation making women rabid is because hormones can make it blatantly distracting for some people and its funny to discuss, but its definitely not a rigid window. for me it happens more strongly DURING a period than not. is what it is ig
Subtle gut punch to your father /j
Trust me the dynamic was suboptimal.
Could be she's ace, but you know, that didn't exist yet ~20 years ago.
She says all her lady friends have the same attitude.
This very specific emotion is unbelievably relatable
Gotta fill that space between birth and death. What else are you going to fill it with? Increasing shareholder value? (bleagh)
Average gay teenage boy in a school full of homophobic guys experience
Are you doing okay-?
hahahahahaha nooooooo 🙃
Hang in there! It gets better.
Happy cake day?
same, but gay girl POV
Wait if this is a gay girl why is she talking about calling a guy in the comic?
Perhaps bc the comic is about an average girl? Not sarcasm, asking bc idk
If you don't mind me asking, what do you mean by gay girl POV?
Vent time:
I wish women could be more honest with men about how horny they actually are and, here's the caveat, feel safe enough to express it.
I also wish men would stop giving women reasons to choose Halsin over us.
sadboi.jpeg
Your art reminds me of the Demonschool game that released a month or something back.
oh I hadn't heard of that game before but it looks amazing, thank you!!!
Reminds me of Winston Rowntree
Fucking same. It’s tough out here in the south for Enbys.
sending good vibes and hot trans sex to all of us
Right? Been going to events and on a dating app and it’s just the worst.
Ah yes, my favorite game: "am I horny or am I just bored at work"
r/comics am I right?
For real though, what happened to this place? This used to be a regular webcomic subreddit and then turned quickly over the past year or two. Why am I even subscribed here still?
as a lesbian in an art school full of sapphics who cannot for the life of me manage social interaction, this is so real 😭
social interactions are rough and tiresome.
Antidepressants will clear that right up for you
Same, unfortunately I hate my body and do not know how to find someone to scritch that itch.
-sends this to my wife(33afab)- (me35f)
"This could be either of us on any given day"
Me too. Me too. I’ve never had someone take their time to fuck me stupid now I’m middle aged, pudgy, and invisible to men haha.
When people say women aren’t as horny as men I laugh
Did I hear someone saying they needed someone fucking stupid?
Real question: do women actually have problems finding a partner for frustration release? Or is this just a gag for the (great) comicstrip
They have problems finding a SAFE partner for frustration release. More so than just actual physical safety, though thats certainly priority 1.
Is this person emotionally safe?
Are there risks of weirdness?
Are there risks of reputation damage?
Am I actually attracted to this person?
Will they become clingy or weird?
Will the sex just be kinda bad and not even solve the problem?
This leads to a follow-up question that r/askreddit and r/tooafraidtoask banned: must women/ do women automatically have to believe that all men are dangerous until proven otherwise?
Not "have". Comes from experience. After having tasted two or three spoiled milk glasses you will start sniffing every single one, even if you don't encounter another spoiled one for years.
And with men, a possible outcome is far, far worse than a bad taste in the mouth. Better safe than sorry.
(And you are possibly underestimating the percentage of women who had a violent experience with men. Google it.)
No no, not underestimating. You and I are in agreement- (because of past experience), women must assume all men are a danger.
Depends on the person
I mean, I'd have to cheat on my husband to do it, so...
What !?
I assume she means her and her husband aren't currently being intimate.
Could be lots of reasons why including medical.
... can you tell me which part has you confused?
Maybe they're confused why your husband can't help
They should probably ask him that. God knows I'd like to know.
Damn that sucks. Really hoping you can find something that works.
Oh boy, that takes me back. I once met such a woman with needs. We have been partners for two years then, the distance between our cities...
She literally grabbed me coming from the battlefield on a reenactment event.
"Hey. You. You have been nice and cool yesterday in the Tavern. Nice fighting. You are bleeding. I like that. Oh man. And your smell. Of Rust. Oil. Sweat and Testosterone. Love your hoarse voice (i screamed a lot).
You make me unbelievable horny now. Fuck me. And please help me get rid of my plate. "
I can testify. Adrenaline and getting beaten with a metal weapon into next Sunday makes you horny.
RIP your DMs?
Dw Monday hornies
Once I figure out how to not be a recluse we’ll have a chance
I need to quit this shitass subreddit 💔🥀
fucking someone and NOT knowing their name is not a flex girl, its actually self-destruction
I'm glad to see someone else talk about it. I've meet people before who attempted frequently to have sex with people they didn't know in an attempt to get themselves hurt. I felt to awkward about it to help them.
absolutely agree!!
explodes
👏valid👏
It's worse when a mirror is involved.
It's probably better (it's definitely better)
Fucking mood.
I need to get laid lol
Same, girl.
Same.
[removed]
I’m a hobbyist artist, also on my period, and the second panel is BRILLIANT! That is EXACTLY how I feel about my boyfriend. We have sonas of each other that I sometimes draw in “situations” when I’m not able to do anything about my own sex drive lmaooo
Excellent comic, love your art style too (:
I'm scared to sort by controversial.
Do people really get that horny?
wipes brow
Your poor inbox
Reverse the gender and this was precisely me today, fruitlessly trying to focus on work
im not paying a dollar ninty five just to see half a boob, buddy
Your artsyle is amazing, especially slide 2/top right corner faces
My current girlfriend told me this was her. Now she gets 2-3 every time I see her, which is a couple times a week.
Try the American healthcare industry. They'll fuck you right up.
Bad case of the Mondays?
https://www.reddit.com/r/FoundPaper/s/WWPbH1BW4t
Reminds me of my ex. 99% of the time she was super "meh" about sex. But roughly once a month, we'd just be hanging out or something, and I'd peek over at whatever she's doing, and she'd literally just be watching porn in the living room. I mean I'm right there, and it's not like she even needed to ask or anything.
Real gangster shit
Please tell me you have your DMs off. I can't imagine what thjs post might cause in there.
mood
Sorry.Could you be a little clearer?
RIP to your inbox.
Same..... Same...
Why’s this so relatable
that is so so real
So fun fact. You can actually get fucked stupid for a little bit of time. I knew a girl in collage that would have protect sex with guy and take a IQ test before and within an hour after sex.
She explained that most of the time the more she orgasmed the more her IQ would go down. She said after 5 though it seems to hit the floor but having sex with a guy had more impact then her doing it herself.
Really need to find that girl again and see if she ever did more