Context, I’m 21F, work in a hospital in admin.
We have medical porters in and out through the day, we have some who are young and like good friends, others who are like the dads of the floor, and mums of the floor. They’re all lovely and different.
But one, not to say he isn’t kind, he is, but he never stops talking. He’s around 50M. It’s one of those “conversations” where you just have to say one thing and then listen to what they say for the next 20 minutes. Even if a patient comes up to the desk, he doesn’t stop talking, so I have to feel rude by just turning away to address the patient and do what I’m paid to do.
But anyway, he asked about my Christmas plans, so I said it would be me my dad brother and step mum and other family which is nice. He then immediately asks me if I see my “real mum” ever. (She died very suddenly three years ago and was my best friend and I told him such.) I didn’t appreciate being asked a question like that at work. He then goes into a big word vomit on how he lost his mum and I’m trying to make it politely obvious that I’m not interested in this topic.
Somehow we get onto the topic of family again, how he misses his kids and that you never know what’s round the corner, that I might have my own husband and kids one day and make new Christmas traditions. I laughed, and said politely but uncomfortably “No that’s not for me really but I understand what you mean.”
I promptly get hit with the “You never know, 7 years down the line you might feel differently.”
. Seriously? This is what you want to discuss with your 21 year old colleague who’s over 30 years your junior? Her plans on procreating? (or strict lack thereof, borderlining on abstinence actually).
He just doesn’t know when to stop talking. And again, he’s never said an unkind word but my god let people go about their business. We’re working, we’re in a hospital. Patients don’t want to be talking for 20 minutes to a stranger before they get their chemo port fitted. I have work to be doing. I don’t mind a chat but there’s a difference between talking WITH someone, and talking AT someone.
That was a fun afternoon shift.
Enjoy the rant and thanks for listening 😂
It is wildly inappropriate in my opinion for a 50 years old man to discuss the reproduction plans of 21 year old female co-worker.
As for the "you'll change your mind" - generally, when someone is VERY against a certain idea, they rather won't change their mind that easily. Especially not because of a random dude's remark.
Anyone really telling someone they’ll change their mind about having a family is basically asking what their reproduction plans are.
True, but it is a special layer of inappropriate in that particular scenario.
He is not much better than a drunk uncle at a party, commenting at niece's appearance.
Luckily he’s not in the department often. I don’t feel any particular need to follow it up but yeah just. Gross 😂