I just saw a tiktok about two girls opening their gifts, guess what was in there? A ultrasound, not happy with it, they keep recording the girls and the oldest is clearly upset, she says "you said you were done having them" and everyone around her is laughing at her reaction as if it were the funniest joke ever told.
Like, your kid is CLEARLY upset, she's not happy, she seems like she's about to start crying, and when everyone keeps laughing she yell at them "what's wrong with you people?". At that point it should get into your peanut for a brain that you fucked up her Christmas, she's still a kid and for some reason you're finding joy in her distress? Are you serious?
Mind you, there's another baby in the background, so this is everything less funny, I can't even understand how anyone can find something funny after seeing her reaction. Kids are not fucking dolls! But for some reason parents think of them as if they were their puppets that have to be happy for every fuck up they do.
Funny is how the people that enjoy the pain and distress of kids are mostly parents, meanwhile, us childfree are the oh so called monsters... Damn, I'm pretty angry for that little girl...
I haven't seen this video, but reading your description of it, I wonder if this older sister has been parentified at all. If she sees this baby as a new workload coming her way, of course she would be distressed.
I really hope that isn't the case, but still, that poor kid. And then to have the moment posted for the world to see
Oh she absolutely is. I'm an older sister and I clocked this immediately.
I could totally see 5 y/o me having this same reaction.
She was parentified, for sure. That's why she says, "You said you were done having them"
The fact that she even had to ask her mom that question tells you everything you need to know. A kid doesn't ask those sorts of questions unless they're being taken advantage of.
It could be that the parent said it in a moment of frustration and the kid took it to heart.
That is likely the case. My parents did this to us Christmas 1990. I was 15.5 when my youngest sister was born the next year. I was not thrilled as I knew I’d have to do a fair amount of the work along with my next sister who was 12 when she was born but actually likes kids.
I've seen this one, I think it was from last year. Her reaction was so clear that it wasn't. "But I wanted a toy" childlike disappointment and more a horrified response at the idea of having another sibling. I find it impossible to believe she wasn't parentified with that reaction
What makes it worse for me is that, iirc, she looked to be around five or six, and her sibling about four, with another baby in the background. That the smaller one seemed confused makes me think the older one has been the only one parentified but expected to help care for both her younger siblings. Which really is just evil.
One thousand percent. This was my read of it.
I was the parentified oldest child of 4. This child definitely reacted like I internally did. Not only more work load. It’s more financial stress. If she is anything like my family, they had me stressed and worried about finances constantly by 5 years old. She may be heavily dumped on and burdened with family finances and thinking they are crazy for adding more to that. I did when my mom was expecting #3 of the 4 children my parents always planned and had.
It was so bad in my house, my parents refused to buy disposable diapers, too expensive. Cloth only that my mother made me wash by hand, no gloves, kneeling over the bathtub. Only after I washed them by hand would my mother wash them in the washer to disinfect. Anyway, I can see all this on that girls face. Exhausted at just thinking about the work. Terrified about finances. Never being allowed to rest. I know exactlyx
How horrible!!!!
I'm sorry your parents expected so much labour from child you. It's horrific.
Or even just ignored. Some parents only want the baby and not the parenting.
the eldest daughter pipeline is alive and well due to irresponsible "parents" 😭😭😭
1000%. She knows her last bit of freedom, personal space, quality time with parents and positive attention will essentially be gone with this additional sibling.
My heart breaks for her. Even if she isn't parentified, it's still a life-changing event that will impact her life drastically. Goodbye safe familiar routine; hello new hellish chaos with 0 predictability or reliability. 😔
I never understood how siblings are gifts lmao, they are just another human being, with their own lives , how are they are Gift????
That doesn't have to be true though. Especially with the baby in the background, the amount of attention a new baby takes will mean that the parents have less time for her, no matter how well intentioned.
A lot of older siblings are very jealous of the attention a baby gets, and insecure of their parents love.
But surely there has to be an amount of attention a kid needs to grow up healthy and well rounded? Every baby is reducing that for all of them.
For sure. I don't know all the ins and outs when it comes to stuff like that. It's very possible she's parentified. It's just that a lot of older kids gets upset about a new sibling because they know it will take up a lot of their parents time.
This is why having more than two kids in a nuclear family is irresponsible IMHO. At any given time there should be an adult available for every kid, to be able to emotionally, physically, mentally, and socially support them through their individual problems.
This is exactly what's happening to my brother's 3 year old at the moment.
The new baby who's only 4 months old is getting more attention then them as the toddler is now equivalent to the 'old model' while the baby is the shiny new upgrade.
The toddler acts out frequently, throws huge tantrums for attention and has even started throwing/breaking their toys for a reaction.
And the worst part? The 3 year old is already being parentified as they're constantly being told to look after their younger sibling and even hold the baby so both parents can go off and socialize at events, it's both sad and disturbing.
Trusting a 3 year old to hold a fragile baby is definitely not going to end well.
Happy cake day!
You just know that kid has had the baby dumped on her.
Oh that's for sure, it's honestly so sad
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She looked between 7 and 11, I'm not too sure
That's just cruel to do to your kids on Christmas. Like let's be real kids really only care about the gifts and everything else around that is to make the adults happy. I've seen so much shit on tiktok of parents saying that their kids don't deserve a Christmas (because their budget is tight). I bet when they were kids they felt like they should get a Christmas and probably look back on those memories fondly....... selfishness through and through
Wtf is wrong with those people...? Why the hell even have a kid if they aren't gonna watch for their needs and happiness? I honestly can't get my mind around it.
Extreme confidence in being right overshadowing all reality, from the sounds of it. Is their daughter upset? No she's not, wrong answer. No one could possibly be upset about an objectively good gift, therefore she isn't, or if she is, it's her own fault. But that's also too sad to imagine, so let's just assume it's a funny tantrum she can get over quickly, and hopefully she
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On my 16th birthday my mom gave me a "how to take care of your baby up to 1yrs old" book with a picture of her ultrasound inside, I thought she was joking but no she was serious. I was so annoyed but still had to act happy for her.
Yeaaaah... You're a lot better than me, I wouldn't be able go keep my opinion to myself if that happened to me 😭
16 is when my childfree stance really blossomed and I would have been furious 😂 like I’d be threatening to be homeless rather than live with a baby lmal
Holy shit that’s nasty work.
Ewwww. Im so sorry this happened, this is truly disgusting. People who already have a teenaged, or even worse, adult child and decide to shit out another kid is another kind of selfish morons.
I would've gone mental
Honestly? At 16 I would have CHEWED my parents out had my parents decided to have yet ANOTHER kid when they were so close to being empty nesters, not to mention expecting me, someone whose never liked kids to help? No, fuck that. When you’ve got kids that old (or any kids at all), then having another kid is not just a You and your Husband decision, it needs to be a family decision. Especially if you’re gonna expect or enforce your kids to help you raise the new baby. You should be asking if they want siblings and not make them if they say no, not act like it’s a great gift and then blanch when the reaction isn’t pure, 100% on board happiness.
She was laughing and saying I finally gave you the sibling you asked for.
I asked her for a sibling when I was 7...
Oof that sounds awful. May I ask how you handled living in such a situation?
We were living with my grandma at the time and so my grandma and I pretty much helped raise it because my mom decided to go back to work at a 12hr a day job. I remember being so exhausted and depressed and was so glad getting to go to school.
My senior year I joined a ton of extracurricular to stay out of the house later, but then covid happened and everything got so much worse. I remember doing all my schoolwork last minute and just barely passing because I was watching it so much.
At 19 I finally got a job and start saving money, this is after the fact my mom said I would never get a job and just babysit for her forever.
At 20 I met my now partner and he helped me realize how horrible my mom was being towards me and we moved across the country together at 21.
Now at 24 I've been no contact with her for the last 3yrs I'm definitely way happier and feel so much less stressed. That woman should have never had another baby
I already know you’re a better person than me because I would’ve crashed tf out😭
Tracked down the video. That girl is 100% being parentified and she is fed up.
Can you share the link?
Welcome, SiblingA, future member of the sub. ;)
Reckon her mothers going to be absolutely confused that she doesn’t want kids of her own when she’s all grown up
This sounds so horrible. Not only are these people already terrible parents to the existing children (who the hell laughs at their daughter when she's visibly upset!), but they're probably going to ruin the next kid's life as well with having to post everything, every single vulnerable moment of their life online for everyone to see.
Poor children.
The ‘laughing when visibly upset’ happens in other baby scenarios too. We see this when men are panicked when their partner surprises them with being pregnant. Clearly in these scenarios it’s an unplanned pregnancy, and people just laugh at how panicked/upset the man is. It’s super gross.
Honestly, women who surprise their man with: “Oh! You’re going to be a dad! Isn’t that wonderful!?” Are awful. 9 times out of 10 the man is actively in shock, going through 50 emotions at a time all of which are usually coded in “No no no I don’t want this.” And then men showing their honest reactions (everything from stomping away in disgust/anger/“I need to be away from you.” To “what? Why? No, you can’t be.” To active “No, this isn’t happening, we’re done and you’re not having this baby.”) and beyond get ridiculed, laughed at or mocked. While there are a lot of men who want to have kids and will push their SO to have them, there’s also a lot of cases of women desperately wanting kids and essentially baby-trapping their man (no, they actively are babytrapping their man) with these kinds of announcements. Men have every right to be pissed about kids they don’t want, the same way that women have every right to be pissed about their men pushing kids on them, and how everyone has a right to be angry when an “I don’t know how I feel about kids” turns into “Oh no, we need to have at least two kids, that’s (suddenly) non-negotiable.”
Um, men can take charge of their own fertility.
Fr, if you're not taking charge of that you can't complain...
Oh man. I remember having this exact same reaction when I was 10. My third little brother was announced and I lost my fucking mind. I was so sick and tired of cleaning their diapers, feeding them, playing with them, etc. honestly I think it’s a big part of why I’m childfree. I already raised three boys, that was enough for me.
Same for me. Oldest of 4. Extremely parentified with a disability my family refused to acknowledge and used as a reason to call me lazy and make me do extra work as punishment for being so lazy. Honestly it was just a reason for all 3 of my favored siblings to dump their chores on me because they didn’t want to. But if I tried to refuse, I got beat with a belt. By the time I was an adult thinking about love and family, I was already exhausted and couldn’t imagine giving up the only freedom O ever had, to take care of more children.
Besides, there are thousands of children in the world who don’t get enough care. I can mentor and help some of those children.
Holy shit, I didn't know there are worse gifts than giving people a pet, now I do
I just saw the video. The only thought I'm getting is that the parents are showcasing how lazy they are. It's obvious they're too lazy to raise their kids, so they pawn it off on their oldest daughter. And yet we're called selfish?
Announcing it through her “gift” specifically was definitely a choice and shows they consider the kid her responsibility
They want babies. Not kids.
Sounds like she's well aware of that and she feels they don't care about her anymore. And are essentially showing her a replacement.
They should be ashamed
Yep i’d tear up the ultrasound “thats what i think”
I’d be chewing them out for days and throwing the biggest fit known to man. Destroying the ultrasound in front of them, wrecking the new nursery (if they made one already), breaking all the new baby toys, just destroying everything. Especially when you parentify your kid, you can’t expect a good reaction to kid #3 (4??) from your oldest.
I would be my parents worst nightmare until they either figured out I didn’t want this or stopped involving me in the baby’s care. Parents are so desperate for sweet little babies that they can do everything and anything to that they forget to let their kids actually be kids. Then when they rebel and be the worst teenagers because they never had a childhood, parents bitch about how bad their kid is and that their kid never tells them anything and how they won’t listen. Maybe if we started letting kids have a childhood again, they wouldn’t be awful or jaded or exhausted because of essentially being Mom/Dad #2 for years and years.
Ill bet when they get bored, they'll make her do all the shit for them
Man, call me selfish, or whatever the words is; but if I lost the potential of a gift for an ultrasound of my new sibling, I would have to hold back my disappointment to say the least
Slightly different perspective (very similar opinion though). My brother and I were born on the same day but two years apart. I’m the youngest and my mom would very often joke on my birthday that I was my brother’s “birthday gift”. It was always a really uncomfortable joke for me, I hated the idea of being gifted like property. It’s so hard for me to imagine any kid in that situation would be cheesed by that verbiage. Just feels like another instance of being objectified by your parents.
Yeah, I feel this way about the framing of the decision to have more kids as "giving [older child] a sibling". As a younger sibling, it feels really gross to be told that you were created to enhance the life of your older sibling. Not a fan of this—or the "gift" thing—at all.
But if she tried to gift her mom an abortion for Christmas they suddenly wouldn't be laughing anymore. 🥴
Please tell me she got a real gift too. Like in another envelope there's a Sephora gift card or a box with a new pair of air pods. Don't cheap out with a freaking picture.
I wish to say that she did, but honestly idk. It still won't fix that her day was ruined...
When I was 24, my mom told me that she wished she had got me a sibling fkr a Christmas present when I was about 15/16 instead of toys because I would have turned out "better."
I looked her dead in the eye and told her had she done that I would have resented her for the rest of her life.
She feels i didnt turns out right because I do not jump to do what she wants, when she wants. She wants grandkids, I dont want kids and she feels for some reason that if I had a sibling to care for then I would have wanted my own kids while completely ignoring the fact that she would offer me as a free babysitter for the kids in the family whenever we had family events
Poor kid, her distress is based on experience too. That is really ducked up.
The kid is probably already used to be the babysitter against her will and knows she'll be taking care of the next one too.
Really tired of ultrafart sound pictures meant to be for surprises/gifts. My mom showed me a picture of some baby yesterday and I just openly said “ew” lol
If it is for grandchild-desparate parents then sure give them that ultrasound. But for the older siblings? No.
I heard this video, not saw HEARD it played by someone in my house. I guarantee you that girl had been parentified and is either raising herself &/or siblings. likely while taking care of a bunch of the other stuff in the household.
And the fact that the parents/other adults are making fun of her when she's very CLEARLY distressed by this news made me sick to my stomach.
In a similar vein, your adult family is not thrilled when you call everyone over to the in-laws house saying you "have a Christmas present for the whole family" and it's just your pregnancy announcement. First of all, that's not a gift. Second, it's not cute that you roused me from my very comfortable home where I was happy just to tell me news that could have been conveyed to me over a group text.
I mean people with kids usually can’t see kids as something that can cause any bad emotions so they are like what do you mean the kid that gives me joy won’t be a biggest joy on this whole planet? What do you mean screaming baby, your mom being 24/7 stressed, first with pregnancy and then with baby so she will be probably too busy with being stressed to care about little things in your life, doesn’t Sound like your biggest Dream? Is that even possible?
It always breaks my barely existent heart when I see kids being more mature than their parents when their mom gets pregnant.
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Do you.. do you not understand blatant sarcasm?
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/s means sarcasm
My parents did this to me when I was like 12/13 and it was my mom with my new stepdad. I remember running into the bathroom crying at his family’s house and the day being ruined bc of it.
Most of us have siblings… many appreciate it, many don’t. Having unprotected sex and creating a whole new human is not a gift though.. it’s just a biological act that adults tell themselves is some altruistic act that will benefit the existing child they have. It’s not that deep. Definitely not a gift.. but parents need to convince themselves it is. How is creating a being with needs a gift? Sounds like responsibility and burden and stress and dividing assets to me. But better to give existing children a siblings over being judged by others I suppose
The “but you said you were done having them?”
Oh, that little girl is TIRED and probably being parentified for her younger siblings because those families that pop out that many children? The elders siblings ALWAYS suffer.
It’s why on so many of those insert number of kids and counting content creators and reality shows you see the older siblings literally TRAPPED at home being forced to play mummy at 13, because real mummy wants her 19th new born and essentially doesn’t want to “play” anymore with any of her damn children once they hit 5. 💀
And even worse, they're making it public. Let's humiliate our kid as much as possible.
It never ends well. Either the older child is parentified, or the younger one is treated as an object to play with, or both.
That was the reason I was conceived in the first place. Parents were trying for a baby just to give my older brother (golden child, middle child) a "brother to play with". They'd stopped trying for a kid when my bio mum found out she was pregnant.
As adults, me and my siblings don't have contact. I cut them off. Lol.
The disappointment of both having another sibling while being parentified as fuck AND not getting an actual gift…
It’s bad enough that they dropped it on her like that, but to do that in place of a gift… so many levels of cruel.
Merry Christmas. We fucked raw 💀
Semi-related, but my bitch cousin did something similar for her brother’s birthday. His gift was finding out he was going to be an uncle.
She was pregnant when my brother got married & tried to be the main character at the reception so we had the DJ call her to the floor & we dedicated the song “Push It” to her. She ran off & cried in the bathroom.
I think babies can be a gift to those who want them, like parents, grandparents & kids who want a sibling, but should never be a “gift” that’s forced on anyone, especially in lieu of an actual gift on a holiday.
almost like the “I donated to XY charity in your name.” gifts… but on the other hand way, waaay worse
At least the "we donated to charity in your name" gifts are usually a deliberate "fuck you" to the recipient...
At least the kid could go on being mildly disappointed without major life changes😭
I do that to my MAGA uncle. This year he gets a shout-out on the local NPR station. Merry crimbo uncle. Hope you can find a radio station playing Handel's Messiah that isn't an NPR affiliate.
This is funny as fuck I need to start doing it lmao. My mom’s brother is a pig, but I get bombarded with demands to send him texts every birthday and holiday💀
Can you donate to a charity that sets up toilets in impoverished areas? They improve hygiene, sanitation, safety. Or maybe a charity that helps girls/women with period products or women-owned businesses?
Great way to nuke the potential sibling bond that might have happened organically. Future childfree daughter and the younger child that hates their older sister because she couldn’t hide her resentment (with good reason) after they drafted her into mummy’s “village”. I hope it gets better for her and she’s able to leave without guilt that “they needed her” or “she didn’t want her younger sibling to suffer after their parents give them their older sisters “responsibilities”
Damn... I responded similar when my mom was pregnant when I was in my early teens. Was also parentified as a kid and knew it meant more responsibility for me. This post makes me so sad
That is truly disturbing. The fact that the child points out they were "done having them" tells me that she is not just their sibling, but a third parent.
Parents may think that they are "gifting" their child companionship, but that is not what they are giving. They are setting the older siblings up for more work. It is not this quirky, unique gift they apparently think it is.
My parents separated for awhile, then they got back together ( I liked them separately because they weren’t taking their frustration with each other out on me.) when they broke the news they also surprised me with my mother’s pregnancy. When I expressed my dismay my father got up a kicked me in the spine. I was sitting on the floor. I was then told to shut the fuck up and that we were going out to dinner to celebrate. I spend the whole time at the restaurant throwing up from being so upset. When we got home I was punished for being dramatic. I really feel for this little girl.
With all The due respect... Wtf is wrong with your parents?? I'm so sorry for your kid self, it breaks my heart that you had to go through that...
Thank you for being kind. Yah, they should not have been parents. I went NC in ‘96 and that’s been it.
I know the video you’re talking about and those parents are gonna be stunned when the oldest doesn’t talk to them
My parents were this way. Not with children because, although there are 4 of us, me and 3 younger siblings, my parents did plan out timing of having them spaced.
BUT so many times I was in distress mentally and/or emotionally, and my family would stand there laughing, gaslighting, or fully bullying and humiliating me. Vicious comments. I have seen this video OP referenced and it broke my heart. I KNEW the dread that child was feeling and everyone who is supposed to help and support her is laughing and pointing. It’s disgusting and is harmful to child development.
Not to mention if the family is at all struggling financially (like mine was) the thought of another person to split the 1 can of tuna we are having for dinner, was depressing at best. Sharing 1 regular size can tuna with 5 people and we get half a slice of bread with it. That’s dinner. Then you say you are having another?! How am I not going to be terrified of the finances? Especially because as the oldest, I was the one dumped on about “Don’t ask for anything at the store, we can’t afford extras” and not being allowed to even go down the toy aisle because “we can’t afford that so I won’t allow you to look and get your hopes up.” It really messes you up when you are 5 and constantly terrified about finances. An adult problem.
I've literally just seen this on FB. A girl I went to school with has gifted her 5 year old this, but said 5 year old is special needs. They're heavily autistic and I think there may be some other complications there, which made me wonder why on earth she'd want to try for another child. For one, children take up your time as it is, but a child who has additional needs takes up even more time. How is she going to cope balancing that? And for two, if the second child doesn't have any learning difficulties, it's so easy for that child to become the glass child in these kind of situations, and that's a whole topic on of itself.
Idk, might be fucked up to say, but I think it's selfish to have another kid when you already have one who will never live a normal life and will need constant around the clock care. It's not fair to everyone involved, the already existing child, and their new sibling.
I have an aunt who’s eldest is a very high support needs Autistic male, she had four children after him and all of them seem so tired. The two middles, both males, immediately found girlfriends to take care of them once they were 18, and everyone acts like it’s a good thing the two youngest, both girls, are foregoing education to do work that allows them to not live at home easily. This same aunt is one of two people in my family who’s bingo-ed me as well.
Disgusting, literally stealing their existing child's childhood just so they can keep on breeding.
“Merry Christmas! We now have fewer resources to dedicate to your well being! You’re Welcome!”
Fking breeders can't read the room.
That childs unhappiness also speaks volumes on what kinda parents they are.
What was the tiktok search? I’m nosy 🤔
You can find the video with this username: g.activeadventureworlds
I am glad the comments have the same sentiment, even comparing it to Fiona Gallagher. I wonder if there will be a followup video defending the "present" and a fake, "Ohhh, you don't know the situation! She LIKES being a big sister!" 😒
Ty!!!
I know a RL family almost like that. Kids wanted another sibling. Parents delivered.
Giving humans as presents. Hmm. Smells like slavery did in the past.
i would be PISSEDD if that was me. I’ve been parentified, and it’s obvious she also has. I feel so bad for her. My Christmas would be fucked up.
I’ve cried everytime a new child has been announced. (they’re all 10+ years younger than me).
There's a certain type of parent who believes and treats their kids as an extension of themselves rather than unique human beings. These are the types of parents who can't fathom that just because they want something, it doesn't mean their kids want the same thing.
The little kids that freak out without knowing exactly why they're freaking out is funny.
Older kids that know what's up and are upset need to have their feelings acknowledged and taken seriously. That won't stop the baby from coming into their life, but handling expectations and worries is a must.
My parents purposely had a baby when my stepsisters and I were older (10, 12, and 14) and I can definitively say it was a completely awful and wrong decision for all of us. We all have a shit-ton of trauma from it, including the baby (now 34).
Edit to add: yeah, little kids need to be taken seriously too, to their face, but it is amusing when they don't know exactly what's going on.
This had happened to me before though instead of an ultrasound, I just got a card that said "It's a girl!" with a picture of a baby and expected delivery date inside.
I only felt despair and anger. As the oldest, I was parentified to hell with my other 2 siblings for years already, and now I had to cook for and clean up after one more. Goodbye to what freetime and nice things I had left. This girl's reaction screams parentification. She was likely demanded to sacrifice quite a bit for the other sibling. I feel for her. What a way for someone to ruin christmas for a child
This reminds me of that My Little Pony episode where Cadence's birthday gift to Twilight Sparkle was the announcement that she was expecting. I watched that before realizing I was CF and it felt off-putting to me because it didn't feel like it was a real gift and that I wouldn't have wanted that if I were her. It's even more disturbing to realize that as a kids' show, it is indoctrinating breeding to kids at a young age
I know exactly which TikTok you’re talking about! Gifting another human/sibling to your kids is pretty gross. I feel for the oldest daughter, her anger is 100% validated.
this actually reminds me of my childhood. my mom is incredibly “pro life”. i’m the eldest of 5. when i was like maybe 10 i remember sitting on the floor eating a chimichanga, watching dark angel with my sisters when my mom came and handed us an envelope with an ultrasound. all three of us were like NO NOT AGAIN!!! she had just had my brother a year before and was pregnant again. i remember being so pissed off. and then there were 5 of us. i love my brothers to death but i absolutely remember being so pissed that i was getting another sibling.
I saw in a TV show about big families a woman that decided to announce the good new to her eight or nine other children offering them a PS5... but no PS5 in the packaging, just the wonderful announcement.
I found that childish, cruel and dumb.
I know how that child feels. She is probably going to grow up resenting her parents.
Can you respond with the TikTok link I wanna show this to someone to prove a point.
g.activeadventureworlds you can find it in that account!
I've always hated these kind of "gifts", especially now that they're so commonly filmed and shared on social media.
Like, how is a child supposed to be happy about getting yet ANOTHER sibling? What kind of "gift" is it to know you'll be getting even less attention from your parents, have more chaos in the house, less privileges, less quality time and even less personal space?
Imo, it's pure selfishness and laziness of the parents to "gift" such news. Even more so since the child said "you promised you were done [with having more babies]..". That shit is heartbreaking.
FR, read the fucking room, people. These children may be young, but their feelings are incredibly valid, should be taken seriously and discussed with consideration. The kids now realise that your promises and words are meaningless too, and this will likely damage the parent-child relationship tremendously.
If you so desperately want yet another child.. at least sit your current kid(s) down and talk with them in a sensitive and empathetic manner. Discuss their fears, why they may be anxious/sad/angry, what their worries are, and discuss what they need from you to minimise their distress. Most important of all; keep checking in with your kid(s) to ensure they aren't feeling neglected, slighted, tossed aside or isolated.
Another addition to the family isn't just life-changing for the parents — it's life-changing for EVERYONE. When will those kind of folks finally realise this?!
Anyhoo, sorry for the rant. It makes me so sad and heartbroken to see kids' feelings being disregarded like that.
ETA: on the "selfishness and laziness" note of this gift; at least give that child a genuine present. Gift her something she can actually have fun with, instead of saddling her with even more distress. Christmas is supposed to be about ACTUAL gift-giving, not some lame ass excuse to "surprise" your child with ultrasounds.
Yikes, poor girls… A sibling would’ve been my worst gift ever.
So many parents need to see this - specifically the parents who say "my child NEEDS a sibling!"
A human being, being referred to as a "gift" implies that the human is property.
I remember, way back in the dark days of the 80s, working in a bookshop and supplying a book on donor insemination called "The Gift of a Child" to a medical library. My immediate reaction: "People are not gifts!"
40 years later, here we still are. Gives me the ick.
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The parents laughing about her distress irritated me so much!
But yeah, why would you decide that is an appropriate gift for a CHILD? I'm an only child and remember when my cousin got pregnant a second time and decided to announce her pregnancy on Christmas where she gave everyone pictures from a photoshoot of her and her two year old holding her stomach with the words "I asked for a REAL baby for Christmas." Like, I'm going to make a bold assumption and guess the two year old did not in fact ask for that. At least in this case it wasn't posted on Tiktok expecting a joyous reaction from strangers for ruining another kids life.
People definitely treat their children like pets or accessories. The girl was obviously upset and instead of validating her feelings and talking it out with her, they laughed.
I want to offer another perspective here. I don’t disagree about the parentification. Both my mom and dad were taking care of their younger siblings (maternal grandparents had 8, paternal 6) by the time they were 5. Literally using a stepstool to be able to make meals, be able to reach the sink, etc. But they broke the cycle with me. I’m a decade older than my only brother and I took care of him by choice, not force.
I only tutored him, picked him up from school, took him to tennis practice with me, etc when I was in high school— not when I was still a child myself. Yeah I changed diapers here and there when he was a baby, but it wasn’t all the time every day. I very much wanted to be around him to take care of him versus having to.
I wholeheartedly hope the eldest daughter here goes on to break the cycle and only have her own kids if she really wants to, not from familial pressure. And even then, doesn’t have too many, and make them watch one another.