My sister just had a baby. We have a very complicated relationship. Shes previously had a lot of mental health issues and was very verbally and emotionally abusive to me and the rest of our family. She was quite estranged for a while till she got pregnant 9 months ago. All of a sudden she started being “friendly” and asking for baby supplies. I messaged her personally a few months ago telling her I’d be opened to hashing out our differences if she was willing to call me but she never did.

Anyway I never cared to talk about baby stuff with her or anyone for that matter. She just gave birth this morning and is messaging the group chat about her experience and there’s literally nothing I want to hear about less than my mean sisters childbirth experience.

  • Nope that's not a sister, that's just a scammer.

    NEVER agree to the first small ask of a scammer, that's the signal for them to ramp up the scamming exponentially.

    Stay no contact. No matter what she claims, says or does. Scammers do NOT stop being scammers. Ever.

    Just leave the group chat. Anyone who matters and cares about you will reconnect directly and sincerely by other means.

    parent

    I left the group chat a minuet ago. I feel kinda like a jerk because she just gave birth and it’s Christmas but it was honestly ruining my day lol.

    parent root

    Well done!!!

    There is no reason to feel bad. People who don't respect you, your time, or your peace don't get your attention or care.

    parent root

    she just gave birth 

    Did she? Are you sure? She's a scammer. Scammers scam, and "help me, I have a baby and it's Christmas!" is a perfect scam because it tugs on all of the heartstrings. Baby supplies are a great scam because they're highly re-sellable.

    parent root

  • Seems like she just wants to use you, tbh. I had a friend who got pregnant last year (keep in mind we're both 19 rn), and reached out after us not having spoken for years stating she wanted us to be friends again. After a while I understood that she only wanted to connect with me again so that she could asks for favours pertaining to her kid after he/she would be born. I cut her off.

    parent

    Well done. You will go far in life with this bullshit detector at only 19.

    Most people you know pre25 won't even be in your life by 25/30 so do not over invest. Don't waste money on their fancy starter weddings, showers, etc. You will never get a return on that. And most of the marriages will implode anyway. Put the money in your retirement fund and let it compoud for the next 50 years. You will like that ROI much better.

    For example, let's say in total you spend 1000/year on events/gifts/travel to them/outfits/time off work you're not earning, etc. This is what one of the latte factor calculators tells us at a 6% earnings rate:

    If you spend $1,000.00 on an unnecessary product or service every year, over the course of 50 years you will end up spending $50,000.00. If you were to instead choose to invest the $1,000.00 every year rather than spend it on an unnecessary product or service, you could earn $257,014.06 in interest. This would bring the real price-tag of what you are spending your money on to $307,014.06. So the question you should ask yourself is this: Is what I am periodically spending my money on worth the $257,014.06 interest earnings that I am passing up in the process?

    parent root

    Thank you so much. I'll 100% take this important advice into account.

    parent root

    Excellent. :) You will do well.

    Since you are now a legal adult, when you have enough earnings from a job you can start taking advantage of contributing to either an employer 401K retirement fund, and/or if you are only part time you can open a personal IRA savings account for super long term retirement savings. If your income is low enough you are usually eligible for both, though you may not have enough for both in the early years.

    You should first save up a good emergency fund for normal unexpected expenses like car repairs, etc., because retirement funds you can't remove without paying a fortune in tax penalties and losing all the tax benefits long term. Generally suggested to have one year of expenses in a fund, but you will build that up over time.

    Once you are at least comfortably on track for a good emergency fund, say 60/80% there, you can take a small amount and start funding an IRA at someplace like Vanguard, and when you have several hundred, you can start with buying a single share of an SP500 index fund ETF. Which is basically like buying a share in a company, but instead it's a share in a fund that invests in all of the top 500 companies. Then once you start you can keep adding a little bit each month. Even if it's only 50 bucks, it will still accumulate over the next 50 years and as you earn more, you save more.

    If you become eligible for an employer 401k, then you will set it to take an amount out of your paycheck, and most employers will give you free "matching" money to encourage your savings.

    Anyway there is more to it than that, so do your own research, but the sooner you get started with even small amounts, the longer the money has to grow and you may even be able to retire early if you earn enough. :)

    Meanwhile your peers will be wasting money on fancy weddings and daycare. Sux for them. ;) LOL

    parent root