Am I the only one who doesn't feel pity for regretful parents or parents who wish they never had kids? I mean it's not like they didn't know what they were getting themselves into with social media and watching their own parents gripe about them when they were children. My mother loved to remind me that one day I would have a child just like me and then I'd pay. Jokes on her I am sterile via bisalp and going for a hysterectomy hopefully in June. Her warning me about having a kid just like me was enough for me to bow out. I am a terrible person and the world doesn't need mini angry me's running around. I am enough. I am also selfish. I love my freedom and I will happily parade it around because I can. I don't understand how people want children and then regret them. You made an informed choice to have said crotch goblin and because they hinder your previous lifestyle or it wasn't what you expected you now whine as much as they do. And then you come to me whining about how I have it so easy because I have no kids. I'm sorry you made the wrong choice. I'm not sorry that I didn't.
I don't feel regretful, but I do feel a bit...angry for their children. But I may be projecting from hearing my parents throw their parenthood in our faces as if we had a say in being born.
This is related but different because it's more about favoritism, but my colleague said the other day how her and her husband "joke" and say "We should've stopped at (Son's name)" because of how much easier he is to raise than their daughter. Then tried to recover by saying, "We also joke and say we should've just had dogs."
Her son is independent, smart, driven, mature (maybe too much). He's a 45 yo man in a 15 yo body. Her daughter (13) needs a lot more help with school and is the total opposite of her brother. The way my colleague talks about them, it's very obviously her son is the golden child. And that "joke" absolutely confirmed it. It's not funny, you signed up for this, and when you decided to have children you were supposed to be accepting that your child could be the complete opposite of what you "wanted."
Too many people have kids with an idea of how the kid will be. If you can't accept that they can be something you absolutely hate, and can't change your mindset, then you shouldn't have kids. A simple example is really homophobic people. They shouldn't have kids. Sorry not sorry. 🤷🏽♀️
So no, I definitely don't feel bad for regretful for the parent(s).
That poor girl. :(
They have this fantasy about all the fun parts and making a person become the person they want them to be. Then, reality hits. You have to deal with screaming, tantrums, sickness, feeding them, changing their diapers, paying for everything, schooling, no more free time, etc. Like somehow, it never occurs to them that when they have kids, they'll have to actually take care of a weak, helpless being. Then, they expect this person to have no individuality. That they may not want to be who the parents want them to be. Not want the career they expect them to have. Not be attracted to whom they want them to be. And then do nothing but complain. I feel like a lot of parents genuinely don't think their children are separate being from them. They just view them as extensions of themselves. That's usually why they're so obsessed with them.
No. I feel the same way.
mostly agree, but what makes you say you are a terrible person?
Oh. I'm just not a person you would personally want to be around. I've been told multiple times and I am oddly okay with it lol.
No, I feel the same.
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I don't feel bad for them either, they made a choice, they have to live with it. Even after getting pregnant you still have a choice.
I feel bad for parents before 2010. I feel like 2010 was the cultural shift that brought so much information and new perspective in how we view parenthood and pregnancy. The rise of social media really allowed people to get their voices out there and became the death of the whole" We didn't tell you because we didn't want to scare you." culture in alot of parts. Before people kind lived in their own bubbles unless they were privileged enough to see different lifestyles. I know I would have fell for all of the propaganda in my small, rural, bible-belt town if it wasn't for the boom in social media.
With that being said, I don't really feel bad for parents with multiple children slightly spaced out in age. Without social media, you still had a host of personal experience and education of what you were getting into by then.
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I honestly think a lot of people aren’t informed and don’t think about it, they just get horny and want to get off without considering the consequences. Play stupid games win stupid prizes 🤷🏻♀️
I feel bad for the kids though.
My husband and I are 55/57 and child free by choice and have zero regrets. Our Boomer parents made us the responsible kids growing up so we've already done our child raising as far as we're concerned. 😂 I do hate how parents and especially mommy influencers never talk about the rough, not fun parts of parenting. But no, I don't feel sorry for regretful parents but I do feel sorry for their kids.
I feel awful for them from an empathy perspective. I can't imagine many things worse. At least other parents are happy sometimes.