So I am a single, neurodivergent mother. Surviver of a 10 year long abusive relationship, I left him. Because of my being on the spectrum I’ve struggled with making and maintaining friendships before (thats important later)
I love using reddit as a venting platform, it’s the only reason I have an account really. Feels good to vent about life and the difficulties of coparenting, and being on the spectrum and different from everyone else, to a wide audience of women (I usually stay in female subreddits) who I know can actually relate to me. Nothing I’ve ever posted is outlandish, horrible or crazy, probably biggest thing was hating my face but I don’t think thats a big deal lol.
Every once in a while I’ll answer some askreddit questions. People will sometimes disagree with my opinions, yeah. But I occasionally get the unhinged lunatic who will dig through my post history and try to use it against me.
Most recent was someone asking what you see as a red flag in people. In my own personal experience, people who you have just barely met that try to be overly familiar with you and act like they’re your bestie right away, give me the ick and they always turned out to be huge liars and manipulators. Not NICE people who are outgoing and down to earth, I mean people pleasers to an extreme who try to hard to suck up to you and get you to open up to them. So I said that.
I got a reply that said something along the lines of “wow just check the post history of this one! Redditors on the spectrum who don’t know how to socialize, makes sense. She has no friends and her spouse ran away from her (not true, idk where they even got that from). SHE is the problem, not people she thinks are the problem!!” Not word for word, I read it once then blocked them but yeah.
I figured maybe some of you ladies who also come here to vent and complain and look for support have also gone through this. It’s just WEIRD. Like you can disagree with someone, and leave it at that lol. Why pull a muscle reaching for stuff to use as a “gotcha” against them for a simple opinion? I know it’s the internet and reddit in particular is full of trolls and mean people, but it kinda does bother me.
Reminder to commenters: Choose your words carefully... Share kindness, support and compassion, not criticism. We want OP to feel loved, and not in a tough way. For more helpful information please hit up our beautiful rules wiki!
Reminder to all: watch out for a creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 instant downvotes. You didn't do anything wrong, we just have asshole lurkers/downvote bots stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and give her an upvote, ok?
Reminder to Anyone looking to profit off our users' posts and IP by writing garbage copy/paste articles like Krista Torres/Nia Tipton: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I used to a lot, I've always been very people and the sexist/racist/etc bullshit you see all over this site. But recently they added a feature that allows you to hide your post history from others! It's great. I don't have to worry about people stalking through my past comments any more.
Heads up, it doesnt hide anything (on the Reddit app, at least). If someone clicks your name, and then the search bar while in your profile, they can sort by best and new and all your posts/comments appear.
Ah well, hopefully at least the extra couple of clicks cuts down on the casual browsers. It's stupid that they'd make that feature without actually making it WORK, though.
I agree, and that's why I kept my own "hidden". People are seriously weird.
Wait that sucks so much! At least it’s not common knowledge and the average person won’t do that
Oh yikes, I did not know this. I know reddit isn't wildly responsive but I think this is worth reporting as a bug!
There's also archival sites that index things as they're posted, so if you comment or post and delete it, someone can use that to see it on an indexing site. private sub for bromos: r/brokenmom
I also just noticed this feature and have mine all hidden as well, it's great
For me, I rarely step outside women’s spaces on here. When I do, I regret it. I mainly post here, and ask women over 30/40 etc.
Yep. In any other forum, if I reveal in the post or comment that I’m a woman, I get fully flamed no matter what the topic is. 🙄
Sometimes I look at it as a random interaction at the park. It’s just random (lonely) people exchanging words. Some of them are nice, some are weird, some are creepy, but that won’t stop me from going to the park in hopes of having a nice small talk someone.
And yes, even though apparently hiding your history doesn’t completely work, it’s still a good option to hopefully avoid that from happening again
That’s such a great perspective on this. I was caught off guard by the trolls and bullies but it’s just something you have to accept as the cost of doing business here. If you can ignore the negativity there are also kind people with solid advice here.
Edit— by “here” I mean Reddit in general. This sub seems to be one of the good ones!
Agreed!
I love the camaraderie and community of bromos
That’s why I like it here, with my BroMos. There are too many emboldened assholes in the world.
The really popular subs, I tend to be an observer of instead of participant because of that. The women specific subs are fine mostly, but ones with men in them always have angry weird ones who want to fight with you. It's bizarre. I think maybe they're online too much and forget how to talk to someone politely?
Yeah I just hide my post history. Cant see shit when it’s hidden.
All you have to do is search a letter or even a space and it comes up
Huh?
Like I'm just letting you know, even if someone has history hidden, you only have to type a vowel or a space into the little search bar by their name, and all their posts and comments come right up
Well shit….
Yeah I just wanted to let you know, like I hope I didn't come off rude or anything. I try to let every woman I see know this if they are talking about it wherever I am on reddit because who knows who might have a crazy stalker and let their guard down and then one thing leads to another and someone ended up hurt. I would feel horrible if I didn't say something.
Ah shit, now everyone is going to see my gorl world and Ed comments. Thanks for letting us know. 🤣
I just tested this out on myself. And yep....
:/ sorry I just don't want anyone to be unsafe and let their guard down and have some lunatic stalking them or something idk it scares me that no one really talks about this
No, I completely appreciate this. Because there are some real weirdos out there that will do anything to mess up someone's life in the name of a joke.
Wait, that’s a thing?
Me googling now
I posted here once and someone DM'd me calling me a horrible mother, they also said they checked my post history and saw that I cosleep. They accused me of attempted murder every time I coslept, then they said they screenshot all my "failures" and will call CPS on me if I stay active on reddit.
The mods here made sure to ban them. I blocked them too. You get all sorts of people on Reddit. 😅
I haven't had spectrum specific comments but I've had a ton of people use my post history as proof of whatever bullshit. Anything to put someone in a box so we can judge them quickly instead of actually listening 🙄
Also an ND mom! I had a crappy experience that left me upset for aaages. And now this is the only sub I post on. (I had to get out of mom forums on FB too and now barely even use FB at all)
People can be INSANE with how they misunderstand someone’s intention and run away with it twisting and laughing - in a way they never would IRL.
I have hidden my post history too.
But please don’t feel bad. Maybe allow yourself to think about this once while playing Tetris.
Like I needed to bring up the incident with my psychologist because I was so upset. So I’m telling you, that you don’t need to waste emotions on people you don’t know 💕
I have different accounts for different needs/specific subs. It helps cut down on the nonsense.
You can hide your post history now! But, yes. I have often vented on Reddit, especially in this sub and I've had people dig up the old posts from some of my very worst days and use that information against me. I think that's a very disgusting and weird thing to do. Like if you don't like someone's opinion, it's okay to just keep scrolling. You don't have to dig through years of posts in someone's profile to prove a point. One person even used a post about my financial struggles so they could punch down on me and basically claim their opinion was more valid because they make more money than I do.
Occasionally, yeah. I stopped trying to hide my posts and comments when I realized there was a work around. Honestly since I started participating in more NSFW discussion subreddits, I get less harassment that way 😂😂
I commented once on something, can’t really remember what. I’m a progressive feminist so something probably related to that. Some dude literally dug through my history just so he could call me ugly (I post in a curly hair subreddit sometimes). Like wtf.