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That volume of food speaks to a different issue that a doctor and a therapist need to address. Apples and cheese can cause two different types of digestive issues (one can cause diarrhea from too much fiber and the other can cause constipation) which can make her tummy stick out from bloating.

I think that's how I would explain it to her. There is nothing wrong with being hungry and wanting a snack, especially a healthy snack like a string cheese or a yummy crunchy apple. But too many snacks can cause an upset tummy and toilet problems. Also, sometimes we should drink some water before a snack because lots of people think they're hungry but really they're dehydrated and need a nice glass of water between snacks to make sure they're well hydrated.

I'd also check in with her that she's eating lunch at school. Is she coming home hungry and that's why she's eating so many snacks? Is it the freedom of access that makes it hard for her to stop snacking?

But definitely check with her doctor and see if there's a therapist she can see, just to make sure she isn't developing a binging habit.

Honestly I had a short phase like this right before puberty as well. It’s could be a growth spurt. Definitely be careful about the cheese though as I also ate too much cheese and became impacted and looked pregnant and almost needed surgery at this exact age.

This is going to be doctor and possibly nutritionist area.

In the meantime, just make healthy options available and try to help her get outside of the house exercise when you are together.

When you are together also maybe just reinforce casually that you are always there to talk to if she needs it. For anything. If you have your own relatable examples from your own life growing up you wish you had someone to talk about it may help too. Sometimes kids need to see were relatable and not just a grown up with no idea how life really is for teens/preteens.

Might also reach out to her teachers casually to see if theres anything theyve noticed happening at school - even if it means they just keep an extra eye out.

I’m not sure how literal you’re being with the amounts but, this sounds like a medical issue. At the very least I would see an endocrinologist and a registered dietician. If you rule out medical/hormonal issues, I’d seek a neuropsychiatric evaluation

Just make sure that healthy options are available when she is hungry and don’t make comments about her body. Trying to restrict her food intake now can screw with her metabolism long term, not to mention her mental health.

I have 5 kids who are 12+ and all but one went through a phase btw 8 and 12 where they would gain a bunch of weight and then have a growth spurt. (The one that didn’t is and has always been a bean pole.)

My son is a serious over eater and I think it's related to his unmanaged ADHD (which is a whole other post). He is 11 years old, 5'10" and over 250 lbs. Things that have worked for us are offering low calorie alternatives, things like gum to get the chewing needs satisfied, and lots of liquids.

Is she drinking enough water? My son who is also 10 will overeat or snack too much when he doesn't hydrate enough. I just gently remind him to have a glass of water before he goes for 3rds and it usually helps him realize he is not hungry but thirsty.

If her stomach is sticking out to a large degree, and/or with a shape that she looks pregnant, she needs an ultrasound to rule out GI and ovarian issues. I’d also be getting CBC and looking into anything hormonal.

My son started over eating during COVID. We make sure there’s only healthy snacks/foods, keep him busy and focus on heart health. His pediatrician keeps an eye on it and said to just keep up with what we’re doing. (His labs don’t show any red flags)

We don’t comment on his body in a derogatory way, just factual. Example: He’s 11 now (5’1” 150lbs) and has some stretch marks on his upper thighs; he asked what they are. I told him 1) Our family gets stretch marks super easy. 2) It happens when the skin is stretched faster than usual which can be from weight changes, puberty, and pregnancy.

Ask if she’s eating the school lunch. My daughter is 15, has ASD & ADHD, and we have noticed over the years that binge cycles like this happen more when she comes home famished at 4 PM, having mostly subsisted on a light breakfast and boba/other beverages for lunch. 🤦🏻‍♀️

In elementary/middle school, we worked with the school on accommodations such as offering her more substantial snacks in the afternoon (elementary they were provided by rotation, for middle we provided and packed for her to eat around 2 PM, aka the last period of the day). In high school now, we’re having to make her pack protein bars. We also have been seeing a nutritionist on and off, so these “solutions” are blessed by a professional.

The way we talk about it, we talk about how disregulated eating throughout the day can create metabolic changes over time that can affect health in different systems (slow digestion, spike sugar levels randomly), which can affect health.

Apples and string cheese don’t sound unhealthy, but in bulk can slow down digestion and even cause back ups in the lower intestines, in the case of cheese. You can explain your vigilance that way.

One thing you can change? Provide nuts as an additional healthy snack, in combination with apples and cheese. They contain healthy fats and protein, which can stabilize carb cravings, and the extra effort in chewing them satisfies the brain on a psychological level, or so we were told by our nutritionist.

… and in case this didn’t shine through? Nutritionist. The profession as a whole is all about making wellness changes without the use of shame. They will know best how you navigate the issues without causing battles.

My daughter is skinny as a rail (no idea how I produced such a child, but I digress…) and she will frequently go HAM on food. She goes thru insane amounts of apples and Nutella uncrustables. And when she’s about to hit a growth spurt, she gets a belly. She’s 11 and about 90 pounds and puts away more food than me easily. 

All that said, if your daughter is over eating and it’s an issue, as a former (and current) fat girl, therapy before anything. Don’t make it about weight, make the focus what’s bothering her to cause the emotional eating. 

If you are on FB, look up Joyful Eating for your Family with Nicole Cruz RD. It’s a great group and Nicole is a dietician who specializes in helping people navigate these kinds of nutrition bumps in the road with their children. She’s also on instagram. She has a non diet and non body shaming approach, so that would be in line with you wanting to break the cycle of parent created body shame and disordered eating.

I stop my children from over eating, if I notice it. I tell them they cannot eat past the point of being full because it makes you sick It can cause nausea, vomiting, poop issues, etc..

I understand it's hard because you're not there all the time, but if whoever is watching her comfortable addressing it in the moment? Probably best to nip it in the bud before the habit really digs in.

My kids and I alsp discuss snacky feeling hunger versus true nutrition hunger. We talk about snacking for the sake of snacking has a place, but we acknowledge it can hurt our bodies if taken too far.

Personally, it's so hard and I wish you luck. I am an overweight mother and I don't want my girls who see food as the enemy. I have trouble myself on the best course of action because I grew up in a diet stressed household.

Talk to her doctor

Healthy options available and encourage movement. Lead by example. Maybe have a conversation with the pediatrician but not in her presence.

I’d rule out a medical condition first, then it’s time to see a therapist. Sorry you’re going through this!

Could she be hitting a growth spurt?

My kids ate a lot similar to that around that age. And my girl who had always been a stick suddenly had a round belly and chubby cheeks. After about 6 -8 months, she shot up. Grew like 6 inches and thinned back out.

So it is possible she has some medical issues or just that she is preparing for a growth spurt and maybe needs help making balanced choices. Maybe schedule a check up with doc ?